I have written this for two reasons. 1. I love Lord Finnegan! 2. I am having severe writers block, so I am trying to cure it by writing random Lord Finnegan one shots. This is supposed to be a book, written by Lord Finnegan, instructing people on how to be awesome, if you haven't met Lord Finnegan before, I made him up in my story Emergency herbs, so please take a look!
Lord Finnegan's Guide to Awesomeness: Written by Lord Finnegan.
Hello, and as you are reading my guide to awesomeness, you must wish to become awesome. Obviously, I am the most awesome person in the world, as well as the most giving, caring, wonderful, perfect, forgiving, talented, loved, creative, funky and most of all, modest. To be awesome, you have to be exactly like me, so I have written a set of instructions for you to follow.
1. Never, never, stand the right way up. Cartwheel everywhere and stand on your head if you need to stop. This will keep the blood in your head and make you clever.
2. Roughly every ten minutes, shout at someone telling them to get off the table. It doesn't matter whether or not they are standing on a table, or even if you know them, everyone should know not to stand on tables. It's not nice to stand on the poor things, how would you like it if someone stood on you!
3. Be funky at all times, changing your hair colour every four weeks or so. (This includes underarm hair)
4. Bananas
5. If someone wants a volunteer for an experiment, volunteer. You could be praised for making a great discovery and become famous! You may die a slow, painful death of course, but you might become famous!
6. Apart from saving tables from being treated unfairly, try to talk as little as possible. You can't be awesome if you accidently say something extremely uncool, so just keep your gob shut.
7. ...
8. To be awesome, you must be well dressed, so wear a "Go Team Finnegan!" t-shirt at all times. (Available at all good clothes stores)
9. Never shorten your name. My brother shortened his name. My brother is really, really, un-awesome... and annoying.
10. Remember, I am the most awesome person in the world, you must think like me.
11. Expect to be caught and tied up regularly.
12. Soup
13. Argh! Thirteen! Beware!
14. Always keep a hat within easy reach, in case fish start falling from the sky.
15. Never trust Lord Akkarin, Lady Sonea, Taken, Administrator Lorlen or Lady Vinara. They think they're cool but they're actually really weird...
I know you liked my guide, because I am awesome at everything. If you follow these rules, then you too can be awesome. (But not as awesome as me) Thank you, and together, we can banish leprechauns!
I hope you liked Lord Finnegan's guide to awesomeness, and I am trying to persuade his brother to read it as we speak :D. Please comment and tell him what you think, thank you!