Case File: TOAST
Case 001
February 05, 2009
Toaster Warning Label: Do not use appliance except as intended.
11:31
-----------
Donny stared at the charred, smoking toaster late in the Saturday morning. He sighed, rubbing his temples. This will be my undoing, he thought. That idiot can't properly use even the most insignificant, simple pieces of technology.
"Why the shell is the toaster burnin'?" Raph asked, wandering into the kitchen with a strawberry poptart in hand. "Oh wait, lemme guess. Mikey, right?"
"A sock," Donny said in reply.
Raph paused in the middle of shoving the poptart into his mouth. "Huh?"
Reaching forward, Donny picked up the toaster with an oven mitt and indicated the contents roasting within. "A. Sock."
Raph stared. "Why—"
"I don't know!" He blurted. "I cannot, by any stretch of my imagination, determine what compelled him to cook a sock in the toaster!"
"Chill out, Don," Raph said, shrugging. "He's no the brightest crayon, or whatever."
"But a sock?" He exclaimed, exasperated. "Why? I swear, he's doing this just to bother me." He dropped the toaster back down on the counter as the very culprit, Mikey, walked into the kitchen. Oblivious to the intent stare Donny was sending him, he reached inside the refrigerator and took out a can of soda, humming a song he had heard on the radio that morning. He turned to walk out, and finally noticed Donny and Raph's expressions.
"What?" He asked, taking a sip of the soda. "Something on my face?"
"See ya, Mikey," Raph said, quickly exiting the kitchen in order to escape the possible explosion.
"Why is the toaster smoking?" Mikey asked Donny, peering around his brother.
"Oh I don't know, why don't you tell me," Donny replied, tilting the toaster so the blackened sock inside was visible.
Mikey squinted a moment, then gasped and smacked his forehead. "Aw, man! My sock!"
Donny's eye twitched. "Why...is it in here? We don't even wear socks!"
"A turtle can dream!" he exclaimed defensively. "I spilled soda on it this morning, so I washed it out in the sink."
"And this led to the toaster because?" Donny pressed.
Mikey scoffed. "It needed to dry, duh." He drained his soda with a large gulp and tossed the can into the trash. "Sorry about the toaster, dude. I forgot about it when I went to watch TV."
Taking a long, deep breath, Donny pointed a slightly shaking finger toward the living room. "Just get out of the kitchen."
"Will you at least give me back my sock?" he asked with a sheepish grin.
The toaster sailed through the air. Mikey ducked just as it flew over and crashed into the wall behind him. "Okay, dude!" he exclaimed, backing out of the room. "I get it, you need some 'you' time. I'm going!"
Frowning, Donny directed his glare down at the toaster. He picked it up and examined the dent caused by the wall. Sighing, he muttered to it, "I have a feeling this won't be the last time..."
----------------
Mikey's Toaster Safety Guide
1) When using the toaster as a dryer, get back to the toaster A) just in time to remove dry clothes or B) before Donny does.