The Embrace

Authors Ramble: Total fluff. This is inspired by a prompt that happened to spark something within me at last. The prompt: "A Lazy Winter Day". Yes, this features an OC. Yes I am aware she likely falls somewhere in the Mary Sue category, and isn't a dynamic character. I wasn't intending to write a complex woman in this piece, just wanted to tell a nice story. I am a writer that enjoys reading various ships…but when it comes to writing my own pieces that's just not the story I want to tell. Sequels to this are likely, and possibly of a much darker nature. But for now enjoy something simple and sweet.

Kylo Ren was raging. Apparently it was a common phenomenon at Star Killer Base, but each time I bore witness I halted and gave pause, bewildered by what I saw. I lingered at the entrance of the docking bay and watched crimson sparks flying from a control room, heard his bestial screams of anger amid the crackle of his lightsaber and shattering of equipment. But what truly frightened me was the snickers of the armored Stormtroopers that passed by the control room; even Captain Phasma broke formal stance to peer curiously inside, shook her immense chrome plated helmet and swiftly reversed direction.

An expected technical malfunction had set him off...the bay doors were buried in snow, the mechanisms were frozen solid. It would take a while to clear the snow, defrost and thaw the equipment, until then his shuttle was grounded, like more than 90% of Starkiller Base. Today it was the hassle of defrosting the ice fortress base, yesterday it had been because General Hux mocked the fact he didn't appear to have friends, the day before it had happened because even Kylo Ren couldn't access the depleted coffee rations. Small things, triggering violent rages.

But quite often I found myself studying Kylo Ren in the cabin fevered days at Starkiller… before this week minor inconveniences or japes clearly annoyed him but didn't trigger full on rages. He was acting so violently now because he was trapped away within this cold metal prison. The experimental weather controllers were malfunctioning, as such for a week Starkiller Base has been quite crippled by a violent blizzard, and effectively locked down, only a direct command from Supreme Leader Snoke could override the lockdown. Today they finally corrected the faulty controller and the command was given but the aftermath left base encased in what could be a hundred feet of snow, roofs collapsing, entrances iced shut, the oscillator malfunctioning and overheating and most of the running water frozen solid within pipes. How we weren't all raging was beyond me.

Another squadron of Stormtroopers passed by the chaos of sparks and smoke, I saw one chuckle and mutter over his comlink, "Oh there goes Cry - Lo Ren again!"

I couldn't withstand it any longer, couldn't they see these were not actions to be mocked? These were the actions of someone deeply distressed and disturbed? I surged from the shadows and rushed past the squadron, resisting the urge to use the Force to knock aside the mocking trooper. I would only draw more attention to myself, something I never desired. Besides it was the raging Knight within the control bay who needed my attention, not an expendable solider. Plucking my courage I stepped into the room, thankful I wore my black metal horned mask to shield my eyes from the smoke and sparks flying about. Kylo Ren stood well over a foot taller than myself, sheathed in skin tight black leather and padded armor with layers of ragged black robes, and wore a dented metal helmet with a leering stripped pattern swathed about the blank eyes. Clutched in his hand was a lightsaber unlike any the galaxy had seen in ages; a fiery crimson blade with two smaller cross guards, and he was using that sacred weapon to destroy screens, panels, buttons, furniture…anything that lay within his path he cut down. But as I stepped into the room he hesitated, and steadied the violent beam. "What?" he growled, his synthetic voice quite intimidating.

"Are you okay?"

"What?" he rasped again, but now there was no edge of anger. "No….I am not…I am never…" There it was…that edge of emotion that occasionally crept into that synthetized voice. My few words seemed to have reached him, he extinguished the blade of his saber.

I wasn't exactly sure what to do, so I simply followed my emotions. Swiftly…before doubt seized hold I crossed the room, and gathered Kylo Ren's immense dark frame into my arms. If he'd wanted to cut me down he could have easily done so, I knew nothing of combat and only wore a blaster at my belt…much of the time I missed my target anyway. I felt him jolt in shock beneath the thick armor and leather, but he made no further indication of discomfort. I simply embraced him with all the compassion I could muster, glad he also wore a metal helmet so I didn't need to worry about jabbing him with the decorative black horns curling from my helm. A few awkward seconds passed but the brooding form eventually crumpled and returned the embrace. He pulled me close about the waist, his form crumpled in order for him to lay his cold helmet on my shoulder. "Nobody's asked me that in so many years…" the harsh voice was laden with bewilderment.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I began awkwardly, tightening my embrace round his broad shoulders, and wondered fervently if this was proper. Kylo Ren was technically my superior, I was merely a human apprentice training in ancient Dark ways of the long extinct Nightsisters, but Supreme Leader Snoke had ordered me to Starkiller Base to assist Kylo Ren in crushing the Resistance. I had to do as Snoke bid, only he could grant me the wisdom and teaching I desired, but in the snowy weeks I'd been here I'd found myself drawn less to my fervent studies and instead to Kylo Ren. I'd rarely even spoken to him apart from business, I certainty had never touched him, nor held him as I did now, but increasingly I found my thoughts infected by him. Snoke would have disapproved…not only was I nothing, and replicable, but relationships formed weakness. Supreme Leader punished weakness.

"No." he answered swiftly, but didn't break from my touch. "No, this is enough." His arms clinched tighter about my waist, his metal helmet dug deep into the flesh of my shoulder, but I didn't dare express discomfort, instead I stroked its cold surface as affectionately as possible and not for the first time wondered what sort of being lurked beneath the mask and the rage. The sound of measured boot steps extinguished the moment, I recognized the rhythm as that of General Hux and mutually we parted.

"Ren, Supreme Leader requests your presence!" Hux demanded, sparing sneer of disgust at the decimated room. Hux didn't even seem to note my presence, after all myself and any of the Knights of Ren that happened to visit Starkiller Base where nothing more than relics of an ancient past Hux had no patience for.

Kylo Ren nodded and waited for Hux to leave. Kylo lingered a moment, and I wished desperately I could get a read from that menacing metal mask. "Ikol, of the Nightsisters. Thank you." He bid, then strode swiftly away.

Hours later I lay curled in my hard narrow bed, pouring over the withering ancient scrolls and holograms Snoke had been kind enough to supply me. Water was finally flowing again and piping hot, and I'd managed to find a ration of tea. The tiny porthole my quarters possessed for a window was completely blanked out by snow. All set for another lazy winter day within Starkiller Base...at least I was until a knock sounded at my door. I found it highly unusual…I knew it was custom for some creatures to knock upon thresholds but here at Starkiller Base everyone simply commed one another. I was so bewildered by the knock I had to pause to put on my helmet; Snoke had been explicit that I never show my face to any except the Knights of Ren. My heart hammered in fear as I opened the door. Kylo Ren loomed there, his once menacing form looked fragile, almost awkward, as though he didn't know how to hold himself in this situation.

"Kylo…" I began, realizing too late that I'd referred to him by his name rather than his formal title.

"Why?" he questioned, needing no explanation. "Tell me. Don't make me take it from you."

That invoked a panicked reaction, I'd seen his power. I knew it only took the slightest concentration for the entirely of my mind to lay exposed to him. "I like you." I admitted. "I can't explain it any more than that…I don't know you and it's totally insane, but I…sense you. I feel you. So yes….I like you."

My confession invoked no visible reaction, rather he changed the subject entirely. "You said you are ill equipped for battle. Let me teach you. I have a spare Lightsaber, so long as you're not partial to color and don't show it to Supreme Leader, then it's yours."

"I….I didn't say that!" I knew that instantly, I'd never admit to these battle hardened warriors, and combat perfected troopers that I was weak, and ill versed in weaponry. Supreme Leader thought my power more useful than skill in combat, and saw no purpose in training me in defense. There were other Nightsisters who could fight should I fall. "Damn it, you've already been inside my head! How? I couldn't even feel you…"

"I didn't need to use the Force. Your mind was opened, yielding. A book vendor displaying a hoard of open books in hopes that someone will give pause and simply read. I merely looked within, glanced about without leaving any trace of my presence. It's simple. So how about it, shall we fight?" He explained calmly, and so convincingly found myself believing it was okay he'd intruded upon my mind.

"Is this how you charm the ladies? Reading their minds then picking a fight with them?" I quipped smiling beneath my helm, knowing with it was wrong for me harbor such emotion towards such a dangerous man…but emotion rarely cares for rationality.

"No, not particularly. I've merely had enough of this entrapment, I am sick of these walls. I wish to be outside them. The snowtroppers and flametroppers are almost finished clearing the main exits. Come with me, into the trees. You said you like me, Ikol, so you should know what I like. I am not one to be content in the winter." He extended his black gloved hand, and hesitating for a moment I raised my own pale one and placed it in his.

I paused only to grab a heavier black cloak than the one I already wore.

When the eyes of the troopers lingered upon us we walked formally side by side, hardly regarding the other, but once out of sight and engulfed by snowbanks and light flurries Kylo lunged for my hand again. Fearlessly he led me into a swift sprint deep into the evergreen wilderness. About ten minutes passed in which he hardly slowed, and I stumbled exhaustedly behind before finally stopping at a vast circular clearing dominated by low frozen waterfall and narrow riverbed now transformed to solid ice. It was a vast change from the cold prison of Starkiller Base, and I craned my heavy helm about trying to adsorb each glittering detail of the small haven, until eventually my glance returned back to him. I found myself hyper aware of the black sheathed fingers still grasping my hand.

Purposely the black figure edged closer, then raised his hand to where my helmet detached along the neck.

"Supreme Leader bid you not to show yourself to any but the Knights of Ren, correct? Well I am invoking that title now, I wish to see your face Ikol of the Nightsisters." He bid, and slowly pulled the immense helmet free. It was a burdensome necessity, with no functionality other than to hide as Snoke has asked me to do, the horns were my personal style to appear threatening. And I once saw artwork from another galaxy with a horn helmed figure; a God named Loki, I took inspiration from that.

I wondered what Kylo Ren thought of my appearance…I never thought myself beautiful in any sense of the word and within my Order bold facial tattoos where traditional, leaving my eyes, and chin etched with black stylized ink, yet I felt the markings did nothing but draw more attention to my dull unremarkable features. I wore my long yet lank red hair coiled up in a single sad braid, out of necessity to avoid helmet hair. How disappointing I must have appeared to him, I looked away from his mask in shame.

"Your mind is opened again, this time a delicate lotus flower just yearning to be plucked. I see your insecurity, rest assured your fears are ill conceived. You're lovely."

"Thank you…"I murmured in disbelief. My life was an endless expanse of loneliness and yearning followed by disappointment…I don't think I'd ever been called lovely, not even by the men who had claimed me in the past. "But…it's a bit hard to know if you're telling me the truth, I can't see your face."

I hadn't mused those words in any particular hope, I merely said them because in all likely hood he already knew them. A moment of panic surge within me when he raised his hands to release the pressurized seal of his mask. Most creatures that wore a mask had good reason to, the face dwelling behind them was loathsome, hideous, mauled or otherwise disfigured. I had no idea what to expect lurking behind those leering features, I didn't even know if the being I confessed to liking was humanoid.

Gracefully he pulled the mask away from his visage. The first feature I noticed was a swath of elegant long black curls, followed by pallid skin and undeniably human features, and finally the most piercing dark eyes I'd ever glanced upon. His features were bold and striking, his nose long and hooked, lips thick, soft and curved up in a devious smirk, cheek bones set high upon his face. His pale skin was dotted heavly with moles and his ears where a bit overlarge but none of neither of those minor flaws detracted from the wide, piercing eyes. It wasn't a face most humans would have deemed perfect, but its sensual power was undeniable. It was face far more elegant than the gleaming snow surrounding us.

Those stunning lips curved up a bit more, and ebony eyes gleamed with knowing, "I don't need to read your mind to know your thoughts, they are quite plainly written upon your face. You desire me."

I couldn't quite respond to that, unaltered his voice was softer but lost none of its intimating power, and possessed a raw masculinity. I was still taken aback, running my eyes enraptured over his unique mien, wondering what it might be like to explore it with my lips.

With shocking insistency Kylo reached out and took me passionately into the circle of his arm, "That embrace earlier…shall we recreate it properly?"

He didn't need to tell me, I could simply sense it had been too long sense someone had touched him. It was a desperation and yearning I knew far too deeply. I stood on tip toe to throw my arms around his shoulders, woozy with desire as I drank in his hypnotic, unmasked form. Again I felt him bend down to place his head against my shoulder and pull me close about the waist, and I clung tightly to him. It was a far different experience this time, in only a few short hours we'd cast aside our First Order personas and faced each other as equals in desperate need of affection. But the masks weren't the only thing that changed. I couldn't help but noticing that he wasn't wearing as much armor as before, I could feel hard planes of muscle beneath the leather. I could sense the warmth of his body against the fierce cold. And undeniably I could smell cologne, and hair conditioner lingering about him. I found myself giggling stupidly.

"What?" he said sounding guarded and for the first time I wondered if he was worried about rejection as I had been.

"You primped for this didn't you? Your hair is to immaculate to have been locked within that helmet all day, and you smell far too good to have been walking about in armor as well."

He raised his head and gave me an innocent expression, but his features where far too expressive to come off as coy. Instead he betrayed a soft, innocent smile that caused his features to glow with beauty. I didn't need to know him well to sense this was a particularly rare sight indeed, "Do I look okay? Nobody asks to see my face…sometimes I'll assume other disguises within Starkiller Base, but nobody seems to say anything kind regarding my face."

I thought to kiss him. I had desired it intensely from the moment I'd seen him laid bare…even before I knew what beauty lay beyond the beastly mask, but true to my nature my nerve failed me. Besides he was so tall I'd rather have him lean down to keep me from looking a fool before I attempted something so bold. Instead I drank in those deep obsidian eyes and pushed my hand though his thick curls.

"You look to perfect for this galaxy Kylo Ren." I assured him, but as my fingers slid though his hair suddenly the name Kylo Ren suddenly felt wrong coming from my lips… something else lingered just beyond the touch of my fingertips, and then within the recesses of my own mind came a thought…a name that I'd never before heard and didn't recognize as any name I'd ever encountered before. There was sadness, defeat and anger attached to the long abandoned name….Ben Solo.

I pulled my hand away with a gasp. My powers were based on nature, the mysteries of the mind where barred to me.

"Did it work? Did you see my other name, Matt the Radar Technician?"

"Oh…yes….yes I saw." I lied, hoping my face didn't betray me this time. I'd heard passing rumors occasionally Kylo Ren posed as a commoner of that name, but I'd never encountered him. The name I'd actually received, Ben Solo, did ring a faint bell. Hadn't Solo been the name of a figurehead in the Rebellion? Or maybe it was just the name on red alcohol cups I'd seen in a previous world.

How had I possibly done that? Snatched something from an accomplished Force mind reader? More importantly how had I seen something he'd not projected, something he would have kept long buried. Rumor was it was punishable by death to mutter the birth name of Kylo Ren. However I'd done it I decided it was prudent to keep it secret, locked away in a corner I prayed he couldn't see.

Kylo Ren as he now called himself took something dull grey from his belt and tossed it casually toward me, methodically I caught it and begrudgingly looked down at the weapon in my hands. It was undoubtedly a light saber although I'd never before held one in my hands before. The construction of the hilt looked much rougher than the sabers I'd seen in images, although not quite so rough as the cross shaped one he wielded. Carefully I ignited the blade, shocked as a bright concreted beam of emerald green shoot from the hilt. It was stunningly beautiful…but there was sadness in connection to that focused blade and roughhewn hilt…an image that I didn't recognize flashed before my eyes. A dark haired boy in the dun colored robes of a Jedi padawan, holding green saber. Ben Solo.

I looked up from the beam, and saw the same forlorn boy standing before me although now he possessed the face of a man. "This saber…it was yours." I didn't question it…I already knew the answer. "Why give it me?"

"I don't need it. It is more in character for me to destroy it, but sabers are rare in this era. I sensed another may have need of it, so I kept it. You sensed I was in distress and came to help, I sensed you're vulnerable without a blade so I am helping. Full circle."

"But…I don't know how to use this…" I hesitated, waving it in bewilderment, shocked at its low hum as I moved the blade. A moment later Kylo unhooked his saber and ignited it. I jumped back in shock. I had never been so close to his saber, never quite noticed its bestial uneven growl or its serrated, ragged appearance.

"I'll teach you!" he grinned and swung the fiery blade in a wide, slow arc. Naturally I jumped and swung the blade up to meet it, a shrill electrical cry emitted as the plasma blades connected. I shrieked out in horror, hardly managing to keep the saber in my hands as I felt his weight pressing down on the blade.

"Sh…shouldn't we learn with wooden swords first!" I begged, the crimson beast that was his saber was so close I could feel the heat against my face.

At this he cackled mirthlessly in what might have been amusement and removed his blade, only to fall again into an attacking stance, "No time for that Ikol, training with sticks is a waste of time. In order to ever truly learn battle you need to experience it intimately, be caught within the moment. Now fight back. I'll go easy on you, leave myself vulnerable. If you see an opening, then attack! Trust me, I can bear the pain." He lunged and I swiped the thrust aside with a clumsy movement of my saber.

Again and again our blades clashed, Kylo's attacks were slow, yet aggressive, forcing me to find the best parries and counterattacks, far too often the blades swung to close to one of our limbs and faces. I kept neglecting to factor in his cross guards, countless times he warned me had he been engaged in battle a single twist of his hand would have plunged on of the smaller blades into my skin. Our battle had us dancing about the frozen landscape, and even onto the frozen river where I endlessly fell and scrambled about, while Kylo remained miraculously upright still attacked mercilessly. It felt like an half an hour passed before I spotted a weakness in his defense and swung the gleaming emerald weapon down with all my strength, he parried as I expected but I'd channeled all strength my into the attack, and the angle of it sent the saber flying from his hand.

"Got you!" I growled playfully and feigned swinging my new saber for what would have been the final cut in true battle, except an overwhelming surge of the Force radiated outward from where Kylo stood, crotched in a defensive stance with a gloved hand raised. It was so powerful I heard it surging. Now my saber went flying, spinning in a wide arc at least thirty feet from my hand, and I was utterly paralyzed, my limbs and body felt as though they had been turned to stone. I tried to break free, to summon my own command of the Force but all my controls were being overridden.

His hand still raised Kylo stalked closer to where I stood locked in place, that devious grin flitting across his face. "You've much to learn Ikol. You were so caught up in keeping that blade busy you forgot all about the Force. Break free."

I knew I couldn't possibly free myself from such an onslaught but I didn't voice it, he already knew my despair. I tried to obey, to pluck my willpower, my courage and break free from my invisible bonds but to no avail. The most disturbing part wasn't merely his raw power…it was that I simply didn't have the willpower to break free…no more than I'd wanted to break our tender embrace hours before.

"You are vulnerable…anything can happen now, Ikol. But you're not afraid." He stated calmly, looming every closer to me and instantly my eyes locked onto his expressive and rather sensitive visage, and wild dark hair, now mused from training. It was all true…I should have been horrified but fear wasn't what was causing my heart to pound so arduously. It hammered out a furious rhythm as Kylo grasped my immobile shoulders, pulled me close and once more into his tight embrace. My willingness to yield to that embrace finally shattered the binds he'd placed around me. I gasped as though I'd been pulled from a riptide, and I wrapped my arms eagerly round his neck. His lips fell insistently down upon mine, a kiss as passionate and bold as his nature. He urged my lips to part with teasing nips with his teeth and grasping him closely, lacing my fingers through his hair I surrendered, falling helplessly to the spell of his soft lips and commanding tongue. When I parted I found myself hardly able to breathe, a fiery passion I'd long denied uncoiling and raging throughout by body, I'd been untouched and ignored for so long…the ferocity of its nature frightened me.

"Do be afraid" Kylo whispered, running his gloved hand through my singular braid and unbinding it using the Force. "I feel it to."

With those cryptic words, and as he released my hair from its binds I felt myself come undone completely. I pulled him tightly to me and crushed my lips to his again with the full force of my passion and desire. I knew within a matter of minutes the First Order would force us to don our armor once again. Crushing the Resistance would prevail over the tenderness we'd suddenly experienced. I knew that Kylo Ren would go back to being the formidable yet despised commander and I would be little more than a background character, likely equally mocked and loathed. I didn't know if we'd ever encounter each other in this way again…so I tried to take it all in, to etch it deeply into my memory. This unlikely way to spend what should have been a lazy winter day.