(Author's note: The British narration will be in Italic, stuff in books will be in bold and flashbacks and thoughts will be in both.)
Chapter 1
Lame Chapter Title! Jim goes to Konoha!
"Today, I'll tell you a legend of how two courageous heroes teamed up to protect their homes from the evilest of evil such as villains, crooks and a Whole Foods store. Well, actually that last one I mentioned won't be in this story. Our tale begins deep within Earthworm Jim's Secret Lair/basement."
Jim was sitting in front of a computer hooking up many cables from his super-suit and into the computer as he downloaded many files to his suit.
"At last," Jim yelled "Using my home computer to download many programs and stuff I got by simply clicking on a pop-up and downloaded them on to the laptop built within my suit, I can finally…" he then paused as he opened the lat top built on his chest up and began typing away "…make a monkey suit mod for Halo." Jim watched the lap top screen as Master Chief was now in a monkey suit instead of armor. Jim just started to laugh at the sight. "Hey Peter! Snott!" Jim yelled "I have created a scientific break through!" Then at that moment an electric surge went through Jim's suit and then it just collapsed. Peter and Snott walked into the basement to see what was going on. "What happened Jim?" Peter asked. "I don't know Peter," Jim responded "I was just watching Master Chimp and then the next thing I know, my suit stopped working." Snott started to talk in several slurps and gurgles. "Well I only downloaded a few things into my suit," Jim said "Half of them I had no idea what they're for." "I think you might have caught a virus Jim," Peter hypothesized "Aw don't be ridiculous Peter," Jim said as he tried to get up "I feel fi…" He was cut off as thousands of electrical volts went through his worm body. His skin turned all burnt and crispy like in most cartoons. "On second thought," Jim said "I might have caught a tracking cookie or two."
"And so Peter Puppy tried to contact several different computer and appliance repair companies, but alas, no one was there to pick up the phone."
Peter then walked down stairs to tell Jim the news. "Sorry Jim," He said "No one was there. It was as if some kind of plot device cut off their phone connection." He then saw Jim wasn't in his suit, his skin was back to normal, was wearing a chief Indian hat and had several peace symbols covering his suit. "We don't need modern science Peter," Jim said "When we can cleanse its mind of the virus. Besides, what did science and technology ever done for me?" "Well it gave you that super suit," Peter said "It made you evolve into what you are today. It helped you save the universe from many villains. It helped you out when you had those nasty warts on your..." "Just shut up," Jim said. Jim then started to get tears forming in his eyes. "Who am I kidding?" He yelled "We'll never fix my suit!" Jim just slivered over to his pile of newspapers and bootleg Japanese comic books he likes to lay on when he's depressed and started to cry. Peter picked up an issue of Naruto and decided to read it to Jim to try to cheer him up. He then noticed the Character bios and got an idea. "Jim!" he said with glee "Check this out." Jim looked up and perked up with excitement "I don't believe it," Jim said as he picked up a coupon that was lying on the ground. "75 off any chocolate flavored cheesecake at the Cheesecake factory!" "Not that," Peter said "This." He pointed to one of the character bios. It read, Tsunade: specialties, healing jutsus. "Do you know what this means Jim?" Peter asked "No chocolate cheesecake for Jim Jim?" Jim asked "Well, I guess we could get some first," Peter said "But more importantly, if her healing jutsus can heal human bodies then maybe it can heal mechanical ones as well." Jim thought about this for a moment and said "Peter, there is just one small dilemma to your plan. She is a fictional character in a fictional world." Peter thought of what Jim said for a moment and then got another idea. "Maybe this manga exists an alternate dimension," Peter said "We can just use the dimensional vortex in the Terlawk marketplace." "We have a dimensional vortex?" Jim asked "Yeah," Peter answered "Remember when it was first seen?"
Two old men with southern drawls were sitting on a porch staring out into nothingness when suddenly a glowing green vortex appears. "Hey Clem," One of the old men said "Yeah" Clem said.
"What do you suppose that is?"
"Looks like some kind of Inter-dimensional vortex."
"So it's not another alien invasion?"
"Nope"
"Shoot! And I was one photo away from completing my photo album," The old man then pulled out an album filled with photos of aliens invading Terlawk. "That's a shame," Clem said.
The flashback ended and Jim then said "Wow, it's a good then stories like these have a flashback or else I never would have remembered." Jim perked up, slithered over to his suit and pulled out his Pocket Rocket from its left pocket. "The quickest way to the vortex is by rocket," Jim said "Well just fly right into it on my Pocket Rocket." He, Peter and Snott hoped onto the rocket and tied the super suit to the back. Peter had a concerned look on his face. "Are you sure you can fly this thing without your hands?" Peter asked "Aw, come on Peter," Jim said with an annoyed tone "How difficult could it be pilot this thing without hands?" As soon as Jim was done talking, he mashed the go button with his tail and they crashed right through a wall. Unfortunately, Jim really did need his hands to be on the handles located on the left and right side to go up. Using his tail, all he could do was turn left. Jim and his two sidekicks just screamed as they were spinning around, the rocket was dragged on the street it was on and going at full speed of 500 miles per hour.
"Jim!" Peter yelled "I'm scared!" A frightened look came across Jim's face. "It's not that scary, is it Peter?" Jim said in a scared voice. "Please don't transform, especially at a time like this." Peter then turned into his monster form and attacked Jim. The entire rocket was then covered in a white cloud from the bashing Monster Peter was giving Jim. The rocket then flew right into the vortex.
"Meanwhile on the planet Insectika, in her throne room the evil Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt has received news about Jim's suit breaking by reading this exact same Fan-Fic."
"This poorly written story is the exact information we need to defeat Earthworm Jim," Queen Slug-for-a-Butt said. She then pushed a button and a human sized ant wearing a white lab-coat walked into the room. "Yes my queen?" The ant asked "Bring Psy-Crow in here immediately," Queen Slug-for-a-Butt demanded "Yes my queen," The ant replied as he pulled a lever that was next to him. Psy-Crow was then teleported in the middle of the room, but he was lying on a red sofa and appeared to be talking to himself. "…and ever since that day, I started wearing Hello Kitty brand undies." He said. He then noticed he was in the throne and turned to Queen-slug-for-a-Butt. Both of them had a disturbed and awkward face. "Oh… your majesty," Psy-Crow said with an awkward voice "You summoned me to try and get your super suit back?" "Well… yeah… yeah," Queen Slug-for-a-Butt answered back in an awkward voice "So uh… what's the catch this time?" He asked as he played with his hands and looked around the room "Earthworm Jim is in another dimension," She said, returning to her normal tone "I believe he might have ended up in this one." She then threw a manga to Psy-Crow and he started reading. "So I do I get there?" Psy-Crow asked "By a vortex In Terlawk," Queen Slug-for-a-Butt said. "So I'll be going now," Psy-crow said and then exited the throne room door. He came back in and said "You didn't hear anything about my underpants, did you?" Queen Slug-for-a-Butt just sighed and said "No. Now LEAVE!" Psy-Crow then ran out of the room screaming like a girl. Queen Slug-for-a-Butt then place a helmet on her head and a mallet came out of it, knocking her out. The ant scientist was standing there the entire time. "We'll at least I know my Suppress-o-matic helmet works,"
"Before we continue I would like to give you a warning. The rest of this chapter and most of the story takes place during the Part II story arc. It contains a few plot twists that may spoil your full enjoyment of the Naruto series, especially if you only seen the dub episodes and read the translated manga. If you haven't caught up to the series, then stop reading the story and do so. If you have caught up or you don't have the attention span, the read on."
Within one of the forests near Konoha, Team 7 was hiding in several places waiting to ambush they're target. Naruto was hiding in a bush, Sakura was using a Transform jutsu to disguise herself as a tree, Sai was standing on a branch and Kakashi was in Konoha's downtown district waiting for the book store to pen so he can get a remake of the first Icha Icha Paradise book. "Target 20 feet away," Sai said as he looked out and saw the target running closer and closer. "15….10….5….Now!" They then pounced on the target, which squirmed around and scractched they're faces and…. "Cough"… special areas. They returned to Kakashi with they're cat. "I see your teamwork is starting to improve," Kakashi said without adverting his eyes from his book. Naruto just and his closed angry eyes and yelled "I didn't came back from an intense training trip just to save some dumb cat! I trained to save Sasuske." "I don't know why you're wasting your time just to save a traitor," Sai said. Sakura just stood there depressed by Sai's comment while her Inner Sakura was sticking several needles, swords, ice picks and sharpened pencials into a voodoo doll version of Sai. All of the sudden a vortex appeared up in the sky and something was heading straight towards them. They quickly dashed out of the way as the object made impact with the stone pavement. They saw what it was and they were just speechless at the sight. If you saw a giant worm, a mutant dog and a smiling booger, you would be shocked too. "I got to end this now," Jim thought. Before Peter pounced on him, Jim quickly tickled his armpit with his tail and Peter started laughing. He then let out a loud burp and then changed back. Peter was quite exhausted from the near death experience and he passed out. "Now that that's settled, I got to find that Susnadey or whatever her name is," Jim said as he started to sliver, but then a cat started attacking him. It was then Sai realized he wasn't holding on to the cat any more. He quickly grabbed the cat as the rest followed to see these strange creatures. "Where did they come from Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked "I'm not sure," Kakashi replied "Might as well take them to the hospital first then see if they're a threat or just a bunch of idiots."
"So they picked up the strangers from the sky and carried them. Little did they know that a ninja with an ANBU mask was spying on them from afar."
"Then why aren't you gonna warn them?" the ninja asked.
"I'm the narrator. I can't interact with the characters."
"You're talking to me right now," The ninja shot back.
"Will Jim get his super suit repaired? Or will the evil Psy-Crow steal it for Queen Slug-for-a-Butt? Will the next chapter contain jokes that break the forth wall? Please be a no for that one. Check out the next chapter when it is posted. If it is then why are you still reading my narration when you can see what happens next?"
(Author's note: Hope you liked it. Make sure to read and review, but only positive and constructive criticism is allowed.)