-1The high priest of Osiris stood glaring at the picture currently on display. Now, perhaps it is only me, but, in my belief, it is not quiet common to see a three thousand year old immortal glaring down a picture in the middle of a museum in Cairo.
Yes, Imotep had been glaring this very work of art down for nearly three hours, only pausing in his endeavor's to blink or occupationally shift his weight from foot to foot, determination hardening his features. Three hours and he still couldn't find out what the stupid thing was supposed to be!! Between the garish coloring and the blotches covering the canvas he was beginning to believe that it was indeed a picture of nothing and had merely been erected by the museum in order to drive it's more intelligent patrons insane as they tried to ponder what the wreck of a painting could have been.
Suddenly Rick passed him. Now, normally, Imotep would have merely tossed the arrogant man across the room for DARING to invade his glorious space bubble, but Imotep was desperate and was thus willing to postpone beating the man to death until he'd discovered what the maddening art work was.
"FOOLISH MORTAL KNOWN AS RICK!" He bellowed, now quiet fluent in English. (Merely because the author needed a way for them to communicate rather than anything else.)
"Ya," the American sauntered over, occasionally cocking and aiming his handgun at statues scattered haphazardly around the room as was his habit. Yes, twas' a well known fact that Rick was unable to walk ANYWHERE without having a gun cocked and ready.
"What is this painting supposed to be?" The mummy pointed at the source of his annoyance.
For a moment the man stared at it in utter confusion. Then, like a light, the answer dawned upon him.
"Why that's easy! It's a…." Imotep grinned from ear to ear as the American prepared to provide the remedy to his ailment. "It's obviously a….definitely a…a…ah…err…A WAZZIT!"
The three thousand year old priest glared at the beaming man, looking ominously akin to death itself. Perhaps he would crush the insolent pest before he discovered what the painting was….
Twas' then that Ardeth entered the room(saving O'Connell from the furious priest) in all his glory, his black robes billowing about his form, his oily hair still clinging to his face, his fan girls following as close behind as their restraining orders would allow…yes, nothing about dear Ardeth ever changed. " O' Connell, please tell me you did not just call this work of art a "wazzit", " The desert man sighed giving his black hair an arrogant flick, at the same time simultaneously causing half a dozen fan girls to faint; inwardly Imotep applauded.
"Well it IS a "wazzit", Ardeth. That is the only explanation!"
"NO! If you were not so uncouth, American, you would see that it is obviously a…." here the desert man paused, staring at the picture. WHAT WAS THE THRICE BE CURSED THING!? How dare it mock his superior abilities by hiding its identity so!? Sulking somewhat at O'Connell's victory dance he continued to glare at the monstrosity as though some divine epiphany would occur.
Four more hours passed and still three of the most powerful men in the known world remained stumped by the painting. Then Jonathan happened by. Off course, being both drunk and Jonathan, the man was simply no help and aided them only by enraging Imotep some more (already in a nasty mood at his inability to discern what this abomination was) providing the little known (but remarkably extreme) sport of, "chase the mummy through the museum before he can throttle the drunkard."
Three hours and four black eyes latter the men still were staring at the picture having long since decided it, and not Imotep, was evil incarnate.
Imotep suddenly drew himself loftily up, his golden skin gleaming in the fading suns light, the vision of perfection in a man, an image of what a heroic god would have appeared to be, his mouth opened to provide the answer to their torment. "I believe I know now what this drawing is!" All eyes in the room settled upon the dark man. Salvation was dawning, they would be free of the curse! LIFE WOULD GO ON! " The picture…is of nothing." Salvation then took a nose dive, crashed into a rock wall and exploded gracelessly at their very feet.
Rick however, leapt to the mummy's aid. "HE'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW! THIS IS THE ONLY EXPLANATION!"
"Besides the fact that we lack any creative ability to discern the deeper emotions the artist was experiencing at the time?" This came from Jonathan who was, surprisingly, stirring both from his drunken stupor and his latest pummeling from Imotep.
"Well besides that! We are three intelligent men and Jonathan! We would have no problem figuring out what a NORMAL picture was…"
Suddenly warming up to the subject Ardeth leapt up to join both the men. "YOU'RE RIGHT! AND SO OBVIOUSLY, this picture is something other than normal!"
"Tis the epitome of EVIL! Sent by the god of Chaos, Set, to drive us mad!" This of course was added by an equally giddy Imotep.
At this point all three men joined their voices together, a wild cacophony of voices it was, nearly frightening the museums other patrons out of their wits. "HERE, HERE!" They yelled clasping each others arms in a triumphant embrace, laughing about their recent victory over "Set."
And this dear readers, is when Evy happened by the room, her expression one of immense confusion as she caught the three men doing their own imitations of a victory dance. "What are you all doing?" She nearly yelped, dropping her armful of scrolls at the horrifying, and utterly scarring, scene.
All three men turned to smile at her, their past animosity from the previous journey's forgotten, a bond of brotherhood formed in it's place. Slinging his arm's over Imotep and Ardeth shoulder's, Rick began the story, "You see Evy, we are rejoicing as we have just conquered the god of chaos."
At this Evy was somewhat enraged. How dare they defeat a force capable of destroying the world without her there! "And prey, how did you do this?"
Here Imotep took up the banner. "You see my dear, Set sent this picture to drive us mad as that is the only explanation for having such an atrocious picture, here on display," at this point a rebellious smirk began forming on the librarians lips, she did however managed to conceal it whilst the mummy continued his tale. "We however overcame this and exposed the picture for what it truly was!"
"The pure source of evil in the world!" Chirped Ardeth.
"A devil incarnate!" Continued Rick.
"Something capable of destroying one's mind!" Agreed Imotep.
"A picture of a bird," Evy laughed patting the men on the shoulders as she hastily left the room, a victorious grin coloring her features.
The three men stared at the picture once again, horror dawning upon their godlike visages. Then, glancing from one to the other, the truth became apparent to them.
The picture had obviously worked on Evy.