Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or locations featured in the fic. Hell, I don't even own Super Smash Bros. So nyeh. P
Zelda's Classic Mode Capers
Chapter One: Showdown of the Pointy Ears
It was a bland day in Hyrule. Ganon was sealed in the Dark World and Vaati was trapped in the Four Sword. The princess Zelda was sat in her bedroom, bored out of her mind. Link was stood by the door, peering in.
"Hey Princess! It's the Super Smash Bros. tourney today. Wanna try a warm-up session?" Link called out to Zelda.
Zelda lifted her head up from the table she was resting it on and turned to Link. "Bring it on, mofo!"
The battlefield was the Temple stage with its many underground passages and run down brickwork. Link jumped down from his platform and pulled out a bomb.
"Eew! Where do you keep those things?" Zelda screamed.
"You don't wanna know, Princess," Link retorted. "All I know is that they're good for... THIS!" Link threw the bomb at Zelda.
"Oh shi..." Zelda thought and cringed. The bomb landed perfectly in her hand. She tried to throw it back but...
BOOM!
The bomb exploded in her hand. Link laughed as the explosion threw the princess upwards.
"Link, that just wasn't funny. At all," Zelda said, sounding rather pissed off.
"You know it. That was hilarious!" Link responded, still laughing.
By now, Zelda was beyond the point of rather pissed off and more along the lines of wanting to take Link's sword and decapitate him with it. Naturally, she actually had something of her own that was pretty pointy.
"You want hilarious? HI-YAH!" Zelda jumped up and gave Link a Lightning Kick to the face. Of course, it was far more effective than usual since not only had Link let his guard down, but Zelda just so happened to be wearing her pointiest high heels then. Link took the blow and flew backwards. Zelda quickly followed up with Din's Fire, torching Link in a burning explosion.
Meanwhile, a box in the background started moving about and came closer to the battlefield. Link quickly noticed this and went over to investigate. He lifted the box and found...
"Solid Snake? You're not supposed to be here until the sequel," Link stated.
"Do I look like I care?" Snake growled in response. "Listen, pointy ears. In my time I've destroyed Metal Gear, shot down helicopters and blown up tanks. Do you really think you could beat me?"
"Well, I don't really know what that stuff is. I mean, we only just invented this," Link retorted, pulling out another bomb.
"What the hell!" Snake shouted in surprise. He then took the bomb out of Link's hand.
"You know, I wouldn't mess with that..." Link tried to warn Snake, but it didn't work. The bomb exploded and Snake fell backwards and off the stage.
Snake's codec beeped. On the other side, Roy Campbell shouted down the line. "Snake, are you OK! Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"
"What a keese-brain," Link chuckled to himself. "Shame I never got to know what a hello popper was."
"Link, you basket case! Let's get on with it!" Zelda called out. Just to make sure he got her attention, she cast another Din's Fire. This time, Link was ready. He quickly rolled back and dodged the blaze. He pulled out his boomerang and threw it at Zelda, who was caught off guard. The force of the boomerang sent her backwards. Hoping to score the KO, Link charged at Zelda. However, she was ready. Zelda quickly grabbed Link and kicked him a few times in the leg. She then threw him down. "Wanna see Snake again?" she taunted.
"Not really. But I don't have a choice, do I?" Link whimpered. He yelled out as he was thrown down and off the stage. Zelda was the winner!