The look of hurt on his face made Ladybug wanted to tear out her heart and throw it off a bridge.
He was being genuine, sharing his love without a second thought- And she felt a jealous sort of pang in her chest as she stared into Chat's longing eyes. She never thought Chat was actually in love with her. All the teasing, the flirting, the occasional winks and frequent puns, the whole "My Lady" thing... She'd always brushed it off as a joke. They were supposed to be best friends! Ladybug felt more comfortable to be herself around him than she did with Alya! And for this, she felt especially guilty. "I-I mean...! Chat, it's not that I don't like you, I just..."
She felt just as useless as her civilian self. Ladybug was supposed to powerful, not a coward too scared to break someone's heart, even if he was her partner. And yet she just couldn't push aside that he was being serious, and Chat Noir was never serious.
"Listen," she placed her hands gingerly on Chat's shoulders. For once she just wished he would look her in the eye and say something. "I love someone else, someone behind our masks. I'm sorry but, we just can't know each others' identities! No one can... Come on, we're still friends right? Ladybug and Chat Noir, the unstoppable akuma-fighting duo-"
The loud beeping of his miraculous interrupted her at perfectly the right time and all Chat could do was yank her arm off of him. "I have to go." He hadn't mean for his voice to be so cold, but he kinda enjoyed it. Make her feel the pain she had stabbed into his heart. It was a selfish thought, and yet it seemed to be the only way to keep himself from breaking into tears. Ironic.
"Chat please..." Ladybug grabbed his hand, hoping to feel a touch of his warmth. It was still there... At least a small portion was. It would be enough to keep him from being taking over by an akuma.
"I said I have to go!" Chat bitterly spat the words out and leaped from Ladybug's grasp. He left her there, half-hoping she would chase after him and half-hoping she would just disappear.
He jumped from building to building, grateful the cold wasn't slowing him down. He wanted to get away, no, needed to away. He wasn't ready to turn around and laugh in her face, pretending it was all a big joke. He wasn't ready to turn around and smile, acting like it didn't hurt. He wasn't ready to go back.
It wasn't until Chat was halfway to the ground that he had realized he had lost his footing on the building above. His eyes widened and his cat-like reflexes kicked in. Feeling the stone floor against his boot, he continued to run, feeling the sharp wind scratch at his face. His house wasn't far, only a block or two away at the most. He had at least three more minutes.
And yet he couldn't help himself. The superhero ran into the alleyway nearby, only giving a quick glance to make sure nobody was watching. Snuggling himself between two walls, Adrien released the transformation and flung his arms around his knees. He needed warmth, comfort, help- something Ladybug usually gave.
It was in the silence of the moment that Adrien found tears rolling down his face. He winced as they soaked into his blood-stained jeans. The tears kept falling and yet Adrien did nothing to stop them. He cried, and sobbed, and yelled into his knees while feeling the bitter cold wrapped itself around him.
He felt like air, like wind. Adrien felt like he was made of sand and the tide was rolling in.
He had returned home after what seemed like hours, blabbing an excuse about a school project to Natalie. Adrien kicked off his shoes and ran up the stairs, glad to be able to jump into his big, warm bed. It wasn't until the heated sheets touched Adrien's freezing self that he realized how cold he had really felt. He cuddled in, letting sleep cave in.
The reality suddenly came at him like a big slap in the face. This was so, so stupid. Why was he getting so upset over someone who he's known since the beginning didn't like him? Why did he fall in love with Ladybug in the first place?
Although normally he would be able to sprout of reasons hysterically, now he couldn't think of a single cause of his unconditional love. And yet he couldn't bring himself to forget Ladybug.
Adrien sighed, something he had been doing a lot lately.
Maybe it was a time to take a break from loving, Ladybug.