Effy.
Freddie wondered when his life began to revolve around her. When he first saw her, after her father had crashed his car, they had all been stunned. Then, almost systemically, she had ripped apart their friendship. This was how JJ saw it anyway. Freddie thought that Cook was immature and so it was bound to happen anyway. His estimation of Cook had dropped lower still when he found out that Cook and Effy had run off together. Effy had scorned him but Cook had still gone with her.
Then again, Freddie knew he was pretty pathetic too. He had gone off with Katie – who he had never even liked – and had only ended up spiting himself. He had slept with Effy and then had found out what she had done – fuck, shit, bollocks – and it had disgusted him.
He loved her. He knew he did. He couldn't believe that she had done that. But she had.
They had been gone for ages now. They had missed all of the exams and that stupid love ball, where Freddie had had a miserable time. He and JJ had left shortly after Emily and Naomi had because Katie had been in no mood to dance and had gone home. Freddie had taken JJ home and then wandered around for hours before reaching the shed and collapsing in his chair. His tux had been creased and dirty and it had cost a fortune to dry clean it before it was in an appropriate state to return it.
Freddie walked aimlessly. Eventually he found himself at the skate park. He sat by the edge of it and watched a lone figure board on the other side of the park. It was a girl with streaming blonde hair who was performing some pretty spectacular stunts. Perhaps she was even better than he was. He watched her stumble but she caught herself and avoided scraping her knees. She brushed herself off and got back on the board. Freddie continued to watch.
She turned and spotted him. She performed one more trick before she walked over in his direction, stopping before him. She wasn't really that pretty, Freddie thought dispassionately. She had nice blonde hair and a clear face, but it was round and boyish and average, he supposed.
"You aren't a creepy perve, are you?" she asked.
"What?" Freddie spluttered. He looked at the ground and maintained his composure. "No," he said flatly. "I'm not."
"Oh, good," the girl said, "because I've hit people with my skateboard for less than that."
Effy. Rock. Hitting. God. Nine stitches.
"Yeah," he said sharply, though gritted teeth as he grimaced at the memories. "That's really nice. Considerate. Can you go away now?"
She sat down opposite him on her board, letting it move slowly back and forth on its wheels.
"You're a miserable bugger, aren't you?"
"I have a pretty good reason to be," Freddie said irritably.
"What?"
"None of your business."
She was annoying and overly persistant. He wished she'd go away.
"I'm Kerri. What's your name?"
"Look, I really, really, want to be left alone, OK?"
The girl – Kerri – stood up. A pensive expression crossed her face. She held out her board.
-
Half an hour later and Freddie was skating up and down furiously with an intensity that scared even himself. He had cut his knee and grazed his hands but he didn't seem to feel the pain. He just needed the perfect trick. Fuck. And he'd fallen again. Next time he'd get it. Next time.
Kerri was perched on one of the ramps watching him. Her knees were tucked under her chin and her blonde hair was ruffled by the breeze.
"Effy sounds like a bit of a bitch to be honest," Kerri said.
"She's not," Freddie said automatically. "Well, she is. But…" He paused and sat down. "I don't know. It's confusing."
"Katie sounds like a bitch too."
"She is. But she's hurt." Freddie shook his head. "Doesn't mean she deserved what happened."
"And Effy was on drugs, yes?"
"Yeah," Freddie said. "But it doesn't excuse her. Everyone was on drugs. Except Katie. But she was just in a bad mood. And then Effy said Katie strangled her. She's lying. I think."
"You might not ever know," Kerri said unhelpfully. "It's a mystery."
"Yeah, thanks for that insight," Freddie said sarcastically.
"You are a very foul tempered boy," Kerri said, unaffected.
She was pretty much unaffected by any of his hostility, which was perhaps why he had began spilling his feelings – both in short burst and then long, incomprehensible rants – to her. She wasn't a great listener but she was better than anyone else Freddie had. Besides, she was a stranger, which somehow made it easier.
Kerri got up.
"Come on," she said. "My turn."
He watched her again as she started to skate. He was closer now and he marvelled that she was very good. He said so when she stopped.
"Thanks," she said, beaming.
When she smiled her face lit up and her eyes sparkled. She was pretty then, Freddie had to admit. Prettier than Effy was when she smiled. Freddie wasn't even sure he could remember Effy smiling. Not properly.
"How did you get so good?" he asked.
"Well I don't really skateboard. I do stunts on bikes mostly. And parkour. My brothers do a lot of parkour and they said girls can't do it as well as boys. Mostly, that is true, I guess, but I decided to prove them wrong." She grinned. "Now I can outdo them all. Fuckers."
Freddie found himself smiling at her enthusiasm.
"Why do you skateboard?"
"I dunno," he replied. "Stress relief? I chucked away my board though. Haven't got a new one yet."
"Why the hell did you do that?" Kerri demanded, hands on sides. Hips, he supposed, but her body was straight and that looked like it belonged to a boy too, much like her face.
Freddie shrugged. He still wasn't sure why he'd left his skateboard. Family trouble. Shedding of immaturity. Frustration. His mind had been a chaotic tumble and, bugger it all, he'd just been angry. He still was angry. Not so much at his sister though. More at Effy and Cook now.
Effy. He didn't want to think about her. Not again. He couldn't. He had been having fun.
"You're pretty good too," Kerri complimented. "Not as good as me though."
"Oh, yeah," Freddie said, raising an eyebrow. "We'll see about that."
-
Hours later and they were both breathless, lying down on the grass with chests heaving and adrenaline pumping. They had done some of the craziest stunts that Freddie had ever tried. They had run around town like hooligans. Freddie had lost quite a lot, but he had won sometimes too, and it had been fun. He couldn't remember having this much fun in a long time.
"Personally, I think Effy needs a dose of reality," Kerri said decisively.
"Yeah, me too," Freddie agreed.
He was feeling much calmer now. There was still an inferno of angriness inside him but it had been quelled somewhat for the moment as he watched the sun sink towards the horizon and an array of pink, orange and red fill the sky.
"Maybe I should apologise to JJ," Freddie mused aloud. "We've put him through shit."
Kerri made an indistinguishable noise that could have meant anything.
Freddie turned his head to look at her. The shadows on her face made her cheeks made her look strange and distorted, with plump cheeks but gaunt eyes. It was strange.
"What will you do, if you see Effy again?" Kerri asked.
"I don't know," Freddie said honestly. "I hate her and love her at the same time."
"That is a silly contradiction," Kerri said.
"It's true."
"Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe you don't love her, you just really like her, and you're annoyed with her for doing something so stupid, because it makes it unacceptable to like her. But if you say you love her then it means it isn't your fault – not really – that you like her even after what she did. But you also say you hate her to remind people that she's done a horrible thing."
It made no sense. Freddie frowned. Then he found it did make some sense. Sort of. In a weird, abstract way, perhaps. Did he love Effy? He didn't even know her that well. Then again, he'd never felt like this before about everyone. He sighed. It was all so confusing and, really, he wished he had never met her. Life was simpler that way. Freddie, JJ, and Cook. And yes, maybe they would have still fallen apart because of his attempt to mature and Cook's never ending idiocy and childish behaviour. It probably would have been less spectacular though. Drifting apart. That sounded nice.
But, eh, that was speculation. What had happened had happened and he couldn't change it. The future was all he had now. The future and the present. If he saw Effy again, what would he do? If he knew where she had gone then would he try to find her? The answers evaded him.
"I need to go," Kerri said. "It's late."
Freddie sat up but Kerri didn't move from her position on the ground. Freddie stood up, offered her a hand, and pulled her to her feet.
"Are you going to walk me home?" Kerri asked, picking up her skateboard. "Protect me from the perves, eh?"
"You've got your skateboard," Freddie pointed out. "I thought you said you could beat up anyone with that."
"Maybe," Kerri smirked, "but it is a custom. Come on."
Kerri's house was a long way away. Freddie knew he would have a long walk back to his house but he didn't care as he and Kerri turned to chatter about lighter topics regarding skateboarding and when Freddie would get a new board.
"You can have one of my brother's old ones, if you like," Kerri said when they reached her house.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, he doesn't use it. He won't even notice. Wait."
She went around the back of her house into the garden and emerged a few minutes later with a battered board. She turned it over so Freddie could test the wheels.
"It is scruffy but it is sturdy. Might need to tighten the wheels, but they're pretty good."
"Thanks," Freddie said genuinely, accepting the gift. He put his free hand in his pocket. "So… do you want to meet again?"
"I dunno," Kerri teased. "You're pretty poor company. Always whining and moaning."
"Shut up," Freddie said. "Come on, give me your number. We'll meet up."
They exchanged numbers.
"And," Freddie said hesitantly, "maybe we could go out somewhere else sometime."
He wasn't sure why he said it. He wasn't particularly attracted to Kerri but she was nice and they got along and had so much in common. She would be good for him.
Kerri froze. She refused to meet Freddie's eyes. She didn't say anything for a long time.
"I'm sorry," Freddie apologised. "You don't have to… Just as friends, yeah?"
"Yeah," Kerri said, finally looking up, "because I like you, Freddie, but I'm not an idiot."
She was right. She would be good for him but he'd be no good for her.
"Effy," she said, shrugging.
"Yeah, sorry," Freddie said. "But…"
"As friends, yeah," Kerri said, and the happy vibes were back in an instant. "If you try to be less miserable next time. God, you even make me feel depressed."
Freddie laughed as she turned and went inside. The laugh was hollow. She waved goodbye and then Freddie turned around and walked off. It could have been a good thing, he thought, if it wasn't for her. But he loved her – he didn't care what Kerri said – and she would always be there. Well, perhaps not always, but she'd be there for a long time, haunting his every move and making him do the most stupid things ever.
Effy.
A/N: My friend and I were talking about how bad Effy is for Freddie and we said he needed a new girl. However, since Freddie is completely and moronically obsessed with her, we couldn't see that happening. Especially judging the previews for the season finale anyway! So, yeah, after Freddie's episode we created Kerri and said she'd punch Cook and bitchslap Effy because, even if we aren't really Freddie fans, he really needs to get over Effy. It made us both laugh anyway. =)
Um, beware the uneditedness of this. Please point out mistakes. I'll go through it again later.
Also... Feed me with reviews please.