A/N: My first Lily/James fanfic. I made it a oneshot but I'm debating adding more...? Idk, let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: i own nothing, blah dee blah blah

Snow was falling softly, covering the Hogwarts grounds with a thick, sparkling blanket. Lily Evans was on her way back from the Astronomy Tower – it was too late for any student to be out of the dormitories, but she couldn't help it. She had needed to get away.

In her left hand Lily was holding a letter from her father. It was crumpled now, but it had arrived neatly folded that morning, and its contents neatly told Lily that she was no longer welcome at home. Her father proceeded to explain that after the fiasco she had made of her sister Petunia's wedding, she would never again be considered a part of their family, nor would she be allowed in the house with the exception of collecting her remaining belongings.

Lily bit her lip and did her best to keep the tears at bay. She would not cry, she could not cry. After all, when had she really felt at home there anyway? This was a long time coming. Of course her father would use Petunia's wedding as an excuse, but the truth was that he blamed Lily for the way his marriage had crumbled. Somehow, her being a witch was the one thing that had caused his life to unravel. Lily had always tried not to fight back on that topic – she didn't yell back when he yelled at her for it, she didn't complain when she was given so much more work to do than Petunia, she did her best not to hate him….

Lost in her thoughts, Lily didn't realized James Potter sprint around the corner. Before she knew what was happening, they were both on the ground.

"Oy!" he said, moving to get up, "watch where you're going will you? Seriously…" his voice trailed off as he realized it was Lily he had collided with.

"Evans!" he exclaimed, turning red, "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize that was you or I – here, let me help you," he extended a hand.

Lily didn't take it, and instead got up on her own. "Potter, what the hell d'you think you're doing?"

She could see the light in James' eyes dim a little bit at her icy demeanor, and for a moment she felt bad. It was just an accident anyway.

"Sorry," she said quickly, "what I mean is what are you doing out of the dorms at one in the morning on a Tuesday night?"

"I could ask you the same question," he replied.

"I was in the Astronomy Tower," Lily said before she could think better of it, "I needed to be alone."

James looked like he was about to ask why, but thought better of it. He raked his hand nervously through his messy hair and looked at Lily. She was beautiful tonight. Then again, she was beautiful every time he saw her. It had stopped snowing, and the moonlight seemed to make her glow, and as she brushed her long red hair over to one shoulder it caught the light in a way that made James want to reach out and touch it. He didn't of course, she would never let him. She would never let him get any closer to her than this, physically or emotionally. She would never let him love her…

"Er, James?"

Lily's voice snapped him out of his reverie, "sorry, what?"

"I was just telling you…don't look at me that way."

"Look at you in what way?" he asked, slightly defensively.

"Like," Lily seemed at a loss for words, "like…like I'm the most incredible thing you've ever seen or something. Like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, like…"

James took a step closer, "Like I love you?"

His eyes locked on hers, and he knew that even if he wanted to he couldn't turn away. He decided that if he could remain in that moment forever, he would be happy. There was just something about Lily's eyes. She had her perfect walls and her perfect façade, but her emerald green eyes showed what was real. James could see her defenses fall away and watched as the true Lily surfaced. Suddenly he could see everything- the hurt, the pain, the confusion, the fear, and most of all, the vulnerability. He was fighting the urge to take her into his arms and just make it all go away – hold onto her so that nothing could hurt her again.

"Yes," she replied, a tear sliding down her cheek, "like you love me."

James didn't know why he thought it would be all right, but he put his hand to Lily's face and gently wiped away that single tear. She closed her eyes to his touch, and put her hands on top of his. Opening her eyes again, she turned away from him and leaned against the window, looking out at the grounds.

James then noticed a crumpled piece of parchment on the floor. Picking it up, he smoothed it out and read what it had to say. When he was finished, he simply stared at it – then he looked back at Lily, silent tears now falling quickly down her face.

"Some father I've got huh?" she said without looking at him, knowing he had read the letter.

"I'm sorry I read it Lily, it was just lying here, I didn't know – "

"It's all right," she replied, "funny thing is that there are probably more words in that letter than he's said to me in the past 5 months. Unless you count the yelling."

"He, um, he yells a lot?" James asked rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. He was terrified that any minute now Lily would realize who, exactly, she was talking to, and hex him.

"Yeah, he does. It got worse after the wedding of course, but ever since my mother died…he says it's all my fault. I don't know, maybe it is. I was doing fine though until that damn wedding. Things went so horribly wrong, and for once he yelled and me and I yelled back. I said so many things, and he….he…" Lily's voice faded away and she put her head in her hands.

"He what?" James asked, stepping up behind her.

"He hit me," she whispered, "and he hasn't stopped since."

An anger James didn't even know he had boiled up inside of him. How dare her father do that to her! How dare he lay a hand on Lily, how dare he think it was okay to hurt her. She had been through enough, he had no right!

"Lily," James began. He put a hand on her shoulder and she flinched. He hated to think of what had happened to her that this was now her reaction. "Lily, look at me."

She turned to face him, and he subconsciously dropped his hands to her waist.

"Whatever your father has done to you," he whispered, "Just know that I would never…I could never…not to anyone, and especially not to you. You're perfect Lily," he brushed a strand of hair away from her face, "you are. And I love you. I love everything about you and I don't want you to hurt anymore. I want to fix it Lily."

Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and moved close enough so that their foreheads were touching.

"I'm just so broken," she said, "And I can't pretend that it doesn't hurt anymore. But I don't know if you can fix it James – I don't know if anyone can."

James brought his hand to Lily's face and traced the outline of her cheek before brushing his thumb lightly across her lips.

"Please," he said, bringing his face even closer to hers, "let me try."

When he kissed her, Lily didn't know what to think. But as his arms tightened around her and he pulled her closer to his body, she suddenly stopped caring. Because she had just realized in that moment that she was in love with James Potter. And being here with him right now was the only thing that mattered. Breaking apart for a moment, she looked up into his hazel eyes and said four words she never thought she would utter.

"I love you James Potter."

"Took you long enough," he said, smiling against her mouth.

"Oh shut up," Lily replied.

And as James began to kiss her again, she knew that everything would be okay.