Hello:-) I've wanted to write something like this for quite some time now, so I decided why not. I'm kinda exited since this is my first HP fanfic so I hope you like it:-)

WARNING: This story contains mentions of suicide and some depressing thoughts.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or things would probably gone a lot different.

Isn't it weird how fast things can change? How you can lose so much in so little time. One second, friends, the next second… Just from one little mistake?

Okay, so maybe his mistake hadn't been that small, and he really didn't blame them for hating him. Heck, he hated himself right now. But it hurt, he hadn't spoken to his friends since the incident, and that was two months ago. Every time he tried to go near them, to apologise, they would look at him in disgust, before walking away. Not that he blamed them, he would turn away in disgust too.

The loneliness was the worst part. It seemed the whole school had turned against him. He guessed it was only fair though, he deserved loneliness. Really, he should have been expelled, they should have just sent him back to his horrible family. They would probably kill him, but he deserved no less, at least that way he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone ever again.

When he thought about it, he guessed his friends had been right. He was exactly like his family, why else would he be as selfish as to betray his best friends? It didn't make sense, but then again, nothing really did anymore. He couldn't keep up with school work, he was barely able to eat, and on those few occasions where he actually was able to g some sleep, all he saw was his friends disappointed faces. A mess, that's what he was.

...

It was another sleepless night and once again he found himself at the top of the astronomy tower. He was thin, and not just normal kind of thin. His eyes empty of emotion, except for a single tear every now and then. It was a clear night, perfect for star watching, although right now the idea only caused more grief to the boy.

He wondered if he should jump. It would be so easy to just end it all, to just let go. But he couldn't. He deserved the pain of having to live, the pain of seeing his friends every day, seeing their hateful glares thrown his way, knowing they never would forgive him. If only his family could have seen him now. The great Sirius Black, oh how far he had fallen. He wondered if they would even care if he died. Probably not, they'd most likely be happy to have him gone. Then at least Regulus would become the heir, the good son. Yeah, they would defiantly be pleased. Not that any of that mattered of course, for all he cared his whole family could rot in hell.

He stood up from where he had been sitting against the wall, and walked slowly over to the edge, leaning on the railing. Right now the railing was the only thing keeping him from falling to a certain death. Would he be missed? Would anyone even care? He wondered as he looked down to the ground far beneath him. He didn't think so.

It was weird, he had spent a lot of his time here since the incidence, these thoughts weren't new to him, but at the same time they had never felt more real. He didn't want to kill himself, didn't want that on him as well. But it was so tempting. Perhaps if he just leaned back and let the wind take him?

He sat down on top of the railing. The wind was blowing around him, the once clear night sky had been filled with clouds, and it had started raining. He sat there, totally relaxed, fingers getting numb from the cold. Just as he was about to lean back, to finally let go, he heard a voice shout out. "Sirius!"

…

Remus didn't know what had woken him. Everything was fairly quiet and nothing seemed out of place, except of course for the fact that Sirius wasn't there.

'Sirius' Remus thought with a sigh. Nothing was really the same without him, he saw it in himself and he saw it in his other friends, Peter and especially James. It was hard enough for him to deal with, he was the one who had been betrayed the most, but James and Sirius was best friends, no they were brothers.

He could see the longing in James' eyes every time they passed Sirius in the corridors or they saw Sirius take a front seat instead of their usual spot in the back of the classroom.

He supposed that was why it was so hard to forgive him. Because of everything that had been broken.

Sirius worried him though. Just because they hadn't spoken in about two months didn't mean he hadn't kept eye on him, and he really didn't like what he saw.

It wasn't often he saw Sirius eating at the house table anymore. At first he hadn't thought anything over it, assumed he had just been too much of a coward to face them and rather went down to the kitchen for a snack. But when he saw Sirius now he looked so thin. And when it came to sleeping, well, the dark rings around his eyes said enough.

Just today when he had seen him. Sirius seemed so tired. Not that he hadn't tried to put on a façade though, but after years of knowing Sirius he saw straight through it. And no matter how angry he might have been with the other boy before, he felt truly concerned about him.

And while we talk about being concerned, Remus had a really bad feeling right now, and not just any ordinary bad feeling, but a really, really bad feeling. A bad feeling about Sirius.

…

Remus quickly found the map an opened it, looking frantically for Sirius' name anywhere on the map. He wasn't really that hard to find, but when he found him all the blood drained out of his face.

Remus went over to James' bed, shaking him awake.

"Moony, wha..?" James said still half asleep, before waking up for real once he saw the expression on Remus' face. "What's wrong?"

"James, it's Sirius, his in the astronomy tower, I think he's planning on jumping!"

Remus barely got to finish his sentence before James was out of bed and running towards the stairs, Remus following right behind.

…

"Sirius!"

The sight that met them was terrifying. Sirius was sitting on the rail, leaning backwards with a peaceful expression on his face. There was no doubt as to what he was about to do.

Just as they shouted his name, Sirius leant backwards just a little too much, and had just time to look up and see the terrified faces of his friends, before letting go.

And as James and Remus ran towards the edge where Sirius had fallen from less than a second ago, the only word running through their heads were "NO!"

...

Mwahahahaha! Am I evil? Thought so. Anyways, should I make an ending to this story? And if so should it be good or bad? Maybe I should make one of both... Decisions, decisions. Tell me what you think ;-)