Ever had a story that just wouldn't leave you alone? Demanding to be written? I wanted to write an SVU story and this popped into my head. This is my first SVU story. I don't own these characters although I wish I did.

Rafael Barba jerked awake. He rubbed his face, realizing it was just a dream. He had dreamed about Her. Again. He smiled. She had made him a better person. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever met. She had those brown eyes that would stare him down when he was being snarky and she would be just as snarky back to him. "God I loved her." He lamented. He had been a fool to think he didn't need her.

Veronica London pulled her dark hair into a loose ponytail as she skipped up the stairs exiting the subway. She hated being called Veronica and had always preferred London. Sometimes He would call her Vern to annoy her. She had to admit she didn't always mind it coming from him. She wondered what he was up to these days. Hopefully his life was better then hers had been for the past several years. It was March in New York City. The sun was shining, but there was still a chill in the air. Different from Atlanta, that was for sure. It had been too long since she had seen her best friend, Mandy. She sent a text. 'Be there soon!' She put her phone back in her pocket. Her thoughts drifted back to Him. They had met at Harvard. He was on a scholarship, she was too but didn't need it. He jokingly called her a trust fund baby. In the end he wanted to finish his degree and pursue his career. Her mother always told her that everything happens for a reason. She believed it because she met Eddie. They were married for almost five years. Until he was shot and killed in the line of duty. She wondered for what reason that happened.

Detective Amanda Rollins smiled when she saw the text from her best friend. She couldn't wait to see her.

"Something humorous Detective?" Barba snipped. They had asked for his help with this case and she seemed distracted and uninterested.

"No Counselor. Continue." She rolled her eyes after he looked away.

Olivia saw the look and shook her head. 'Don't antagonize him.' She mouthed. He was already cranky over this case. She didn't want him worse.

Amanda shrugged.

"Hold the elevator?!" Detective Nick Amaro called.

London pressed the button to keep the doors open.

"Thanks." He smiled at her.

"You're welcome."

He noticed her visitor badge. "Who are you here to see?"

She gave him a funny look.

"You're wearing a visitor badge. I work here. That's why I asked." He showed her his badge.

"Oh. Sorry. I'm here to see Detective Rollins."

"Me too." He smirked before adding, "She's my partner. Detective Nick Amaro." He held out his hand.

"London." She shook his hand.

"She told me you were coming to visit. Nice to meet you." The elevator doors opened.

"You too." She followed him to the squad room.

"Hey! You're here!" Amanda threw her arms around her best friend and squeezed her tight. She felt tears well up in her eyes. She had missed her.

"Good to see you too." London laughed to keep from crying and returned the hug.

"I see you met Nick. This is Detectives Odafin Tutuola and Sonny Carisi." She introduced them. "This is my friend London."

"Call me Fin." He held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you both." She shook his hand and then Carisi's.

"Sarge is still discussing a case with a grouchy A.D.A." She gestured to Olivia's office. "So did you take a cab here?"

"Subway." London grinned.

"Surprising." Amanda laughed. "I wouldn't think you would touch it."

She shrugged. "I've experienced worse."

"That's scary." Fin commented.

Olivia and Barba walked out of her office at that moment. His coat was thrown over his arm. He looked tired. London recognized him immediately. She would have recognized those suspenders anywhere. After all she had bought them for him.

"Sarge, this is my friend London." Amanda began.

"Olivia Benson. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." The two women shook hands.

Barba didn't recognize her at first. Her hair was dark and the last time he had seen her it was red. He wondered if he should say anything or not. He didn't want to sound like a complete ass. "London." He acknowledged her.

"Rafael." She stared him down. He was the last person she wanted to see, but had to admit she was curious what he would say after so many years.

Her gaze made him uncomfortable. "So how are things with you?" It came out more annoying than he meant.

"They've been better." She snipped. That's all he had to say?

"Oh? Trouble in paradise with Eddie? How's the old boy doing?" He snapped back. He always thought Eddie stole her away.

Amanda covered her mouth in an attempt to stifle her gasp. She realized that it was Barba her friend dated in college.

"He's dead. Almost four years now." She pressed her lips together.

He groaned inwardly. His attempt to not be an ass had completely failed. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off.

"No. You don't get to say anything else. You are an ass and a heartless bastard!" She didn't want to start crying.

"Actually, no, my parents were married when they had me." He smirked.

"You are unbelievable." She scoffed. Her phone buzzed. "Mandy, I'll see you later. I've got to take this." She answered her phone and walked out of the squad room.

"What the Hell was that Rafael?" Olivia fussed at him. The two of them were back in her office with Amanda.

He didn't answer. He was mad at himself. The woman of his dreams had stood in front of him and he was an ass to her.

"I get it now." Amanda started. "I finally realized that you are the guy she dated at Harvard."

"It was me." He admitted quietly. "Did she never talk about me?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

"She did, but she called you 'Rafi' and I never put two and two together.

"Mm. What happened to him? Her husband." He rubbed his temples.

"He was shot during what should have been a routine bust. He was a junior detective with the Atlanta Police Department. He was from New York City. It happened right around the time I transferred up here."

"Damn it." He muttered. "Did they get the guy?"

"He was arrested, but the DA botched the whole thing. He cut him a deal in exchange for flipping on the cartel that supplied him. It was a major bust and the DA scored huge political points. He downgraded the charge from second degree murder to voluntary manslaughter." She shook her head.

"Wow." Olivia was shocked. "He killed a cop and walked."

"Yeah. Atlanta PD lost any respect they had for him. The trial was a farce. I thought it was going to break her."

"They put her on the stand?" He hoped they didn't.

"No." She shook her head. He was an effective DA, but even more of an ass than Barba.

"Do y'all have any paper?" London reappeared in the squad room with her phone still pressed to her ear.

"Yeah sure." Carisi handed her a notepad. "Have a seat."

"Thanks." She sat at his desk. She was glad she didn't see Barba again. She turned her attention back to the voice on the other end of the phone. It was Jack Lewis, her husband's former partner. He had picked up on her frantic tone when she answered. She unsuccessfully tried to convince him she was fine and just out of breath. He told her she sucked at lying.

"You still there?" He asked.

"Yeah. Are you sure about this Jack?" He had told her there was evidence that the DA was taking kickbacks from the cartel he had busted.

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"Because if you aren't…" She started.

"I know London. I know."

"Have you told anyone else? Because I can keep a lid on it, but if you've told anyone…" She was taking notes in shorthand.

"Chief told me. I didn't tell him that I already knew."

She closed her eyes. If the chief knew… "Okay. Here is what you need to do. I am going to text you a number. If he does not answer, do not leave a message. He will call you back. When you talk to him tell him Vern needs his assistance and will owe him."

"Got it. So can I call you Vern?" He chuckled.

"No. You can not." She laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Alright. I'll keep you in the loop."

"Thanks. Watch your six." She cautioned.

"Always. Bye." He hung up.

She sighed and flipped through her contact list before finding the number she was looking for. She texted it to Jack and set her phone down.

"You a reporter?" Carisi asked, breaking through her thoughts.

"When it suits." She smirked. "I write for the associated press upon a occasion; mostly ghost writing. My husband always wanted to keep me safe."

"That's what the good ones do." Fin added.

"This was him." She pulled up a picture on her phone of the two of them together, him in his uniform.

"He was a police officer?" Nick asked.

"Mmhmm." She nodded. "It was supposed to be a routine bust, but it didn't quite work out that way." She said sadly.

Nick regretted saying anything.

"He was from here." She added.

"Happened about four years ago?" Carisi asked.

"That's right." She nodded. "Eddie Winters."

"The academy had a ceremony for him. It wasn't long after I graduated." He explained. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." She smiled.

"Did London ever come back?" Amanda asked when she walked out of Olivia's office.

"She did. Said something about going to the cemetery." Nick said. "She came back in on the phone and was taking notes. Something was up."

"I'll check on her." She said.

"Later Rollins." Olivia walked out of her office. "I need you and Amaro to interview another set of parents."

"Another kid?" Nick asked sadly. They had just interviewed the parents of a kid who died of cancer.

"Yeah. He was four." Olivia said sadly. "Treated at the same clinic." There had been reports that the clinic was fraudulently billing insurance companies and possibly mistreating its patients.

"The business manager wants to talk." Barba announced.

"I bet she does." Olivia scoffed.

"Shall we?" He walked out of the squad room not waiting for her to respond. This case made him sick. How could anyone in the medical field take advantage of cancer patients? Especially children.

"Hi Aunt Amanda." A young voice said.

Amanda looked up and saw London's thirteen year old niece standing in the squad room. "Hey Kiddo." She stood up to hug her. "What are you doing here?"

"Aunt London was supposed to be there when I got out of school." She said.

"Why didn't you call her?" Amanda asked.

"I kind of don't have my phone right now. I was hoping you could call her." The young girl sounded hopeful.

"Uh yeah. Let me get my phone. I think I left it in the break room. Hey Carisi, can you keep on eye on Celia for like two seconds while I grab my phone?" She started walking to the break room.

"Sure thing." He nodded. "You're London's niece huh?" He asked the girl.

"Yeah. You know her?" She dropped her backpack by Amanda's desk.

"I met her this morning."

"Cool. She was supposed to pick me from school. I'm grounded so I don't have my phone. I'm sure it will only be worse if my parents find out I was here." She sat in Amanda's chair.

"Why's that?" He leaned against the desk.

"Because of my uncle. He was supposed to be safe, but he wasn't." Her voice caught in her throat.

He nodded.

"My mom isn't a fan of police stations now. She would have a cow if she knew I came here by myself."

"She just wants you to be safe. You are safe here. I promise." He said.

"Thanks. Carisi right? I'm Celia." She held out her hand.

"Nice to meet you." He shook her hand.

London sat at the cemetery. Her heart ached, but she didn't cry as much as she thought she would; as much as she wanted to. She went by the police academy and saw his star on the wall. As she was walking out her phone started buzzing. She pulled it out of her pocket and answered before looking at the caller id. "Hello?"

"Hey, are you okay?" Amanda asked.

"Oh hey. I'm okay." She answered.

"Where are you?"

"I'm just leaving the police academy." She stood on the sidewalk.

"Okay, did you forget about Celia?" She asked.

"What about her? Wait. I was supposed to pick her up today. I thought it was tomorrow. Did she call you?" She wondered if she had missed the call.

"No, she's here at the precinct."

"I'm on my way." She hung up the phone.

"London is on her way." Amanda walked up to Celia and Carisi.

"Thanks. Is she ticked at me?"

"I don't think so. She thought she was supposed to pick you up tomorrow."

Celia laughed. "Maybe it was tomorrow."

"I swear you two are just alike!" Amanda laughed at her.

London walked in the squad room and saw Celia's backpack. "Hey. Where is she?"

"Carisi took her to the break room. Her blood sugar was getting low."

"Aunt London!" Celia squealed and ran to her.

"Hey Sweetheart." London hugged her tight.

"I've missed you!" The young girl held on to her.

"I've missed you too!" London kissed her head.

"So maybe I got my days mixed up and you were supposed to get me tomorrow." She grinned.

"Oh well. Let's not tell your mom." She winked at her.

"Thanks. You ready?" She picked up her backpack.

"Sure thing." London said.

"Bye Aunt Amanda." She hugged her. "Thanks Carisi." She hugged him.

It took him by surprise. "You're welcome kid." He smiled at her.

"I've had this headache all day." Nick groaned. He was at the bar with Amanda, Carisi, Fin and London.

"There's a cure for that." London said as she sipped her drink.

"Yeah? What's that?" He asked.

She leaned her head back holding the bottom of his beer bottle against her forehead.

"That's ridiculous." He shook his head.

"Don't knock it 'til you try it." She smirked, handing the bottle back to him.

"Alright." He leaned the bottle against his forehead.

"Well?" She smirked.

"Not bad actually."

"Just so you know you look ridiculous!" Carisi laughed.

"Laugh it up. My head does feel better." He set the bottle down.

"Told ya." London finished her drink.

Amanda finished her drink. "You ready?" She asked London.

"Whenever you are." She picked up her phone.

"I thought Liv was going to join us." Fin said.

"She was finishing up some notes with Barba." Carisi said.

London's skin prickled when she heard his name.

"I'm to the point I can't see straight." Olivia yawned. "I told the guys I'd meet them for drinks. Want to come with?" She offered.

"Depends." Barba rubbed his face. "Is London going to be there?"

"What if she is?" She didn't see the problem.

"She doesn't want to see me. I was an ass to her earlier."

"Rafael. Do you still love her?" She asked bluntly.

"Of course I do Liv." He stated it as if he was offended she even asked, as if it wasn't obvious.

"Then do something about it." She smiled at him. "Come on. We'll see if she's still there." She picked up her coat.

"There she is." Fin said when Olivia and Barba walked in.

London looked toward the door. She swore her heart stopped beating when she saw Him. He was looking right at her. He gave her the same look he had given her when they were dating. The look that said she was the only woman in the room. She tore her eyes away from him and finished her cinnamon schnapps.

"Hey guys." Olivia walked up to them.

"Hey Boss. We thought you forgot about us." Carisi joked.

"Not quite Carisi." She smiled and ordered her drink. She leaned over to Amanda. "Can you get her to talk to him?" She whispered.

Amanda shrugged.

"Crap." London muttered when she dropped her phone.

Rafael saw his opportunity to speak to her. He bent down to pick up her phone for her.

She took it from him but didn't say anything.

It was all he could do to not say something snarky to her.

"Do you want me to talk to you or something?" She asked.

"I really wish you would." He answered.

She noted his tone of voice. "Thank you for picking up my phone. You know how dizzy I get when I've been drinking." She smirked.

"You're welcome. And yes, I remember." He gave her a genuine smile.

"Goodnight." She stood up.

"I will see all of you in the morning." Amanda picked up her phone.

"Need me to call you a cab?" Nick offered.

"Already did. Thanks though." She smiled at him.

"So what was that with you and Barba?" Amanda asked. They were sitting on her couch in their PJs like they were at a slumber party.

"I don't even know. I haven't heard from him since…" She stopped to think. "Must have been when Eddie and I were dating. We ran into him somewhere. He was a horrible ass to me earlier. I guess I expected too much of him. He's worse than he used to be." She rambled. "Anyway. Is there something between him and Olivia?" She hoped not, but she didn't know why she cared all of the sudden.

"Not that I know of. We work closely with him and they are friends." She said.

"What about you and Nick?" She teased.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "There's nothing going on. Just partners."

"Liar! You're in to him. I can see it. And him offering to call you a cab? He's into you too."

Amanda blushed.

"I've known you long enough Amanda Rollins." She laughed.

"And I've known you long enough Vern." She laughed at her. "So Liv whispered something to me when she ordered her drink.

"What's that?"

"She asked me to get you to talk to him." She smiled.

London's eyes filled with tears.

"Oh Honey!" Amanda pulled her into a hug.

London hugged her friend and burst into tears.

"If I had realized it was him I would have warned you." She said.

"I know." She sniffled. "I just… I don't know. I don't know why I'm crying." She was irritated at herself.

"Because you still love him?"

"I always thought Eddie and I would be together forever." She avoided the question.

"The Eddie Winters I knew adored you. He did everything in his power to make you happy. And he would want you to be happy again. I know that for a fact." She said firmly.

London nodded. "I know." Amanda was right. She knew Eddie would want her to be happy again.

Rafael walked in his apartment and tossed his coat on a chair. He knew he needed her back in his life. He had been close enough to smell the cinnamon on her breath. Cinnamon schnapps had always been her drink of choice. It brought back memories of happier times for him. He loosened his tie and poured himself a drink.

Thanks for reading. Feel free to let me know if you liked it or not. :)