So yeah! Do not own Glee..or Puppy-sized elephants 3
There are many things I could have been doing on a Friday night - like Santana. I did not expect myself to be hanging out in Hummel's basement, with a very drunk Matt and Mike. All of us were laughing our heads off at the stuff Hummel was saying (he was pretty drunk too).
I knew Hummel had a very large vocabulary, but I had never heard him say things like this. He had just started a rant about how stupid Rachel Berry was. This whole experience was making me respect him even more.
"It's like all I want to say to her is 'Are you always this moronic or are you making a special effort today?', but I really don't think she even has to try! And I know brains aren't everything but in her case they're nothing. Calling her an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people."
Sure the insults might not have been that great, but we were pretty drunk.
Mike was now laughing so hard that he had to hold on to Matt for support.
"And she never stops talking, but she never really says anything, you know? Her and Finn were like made for each other! Wait. That's unfair to Finn - even he's smarter than her!"
This caused Matt to break down in laughter also. "Someone needs to write this shit down!" he gasped, after catching his breath. I was already committing every thing I heard tonight to memory.
As an hour went by and Kurt continued insulting Rachel, I found myself wondering if it was just the alcohol or if Kurt had always been this unbelievably cute. It must be the alcohol.
Another hour went by. Matt and Mike had passed out long ago and Kurt had run out of insults. The two of us had lapsed into a comfortable silence. How had I never noticed how beautiful Kurt was - his pale skin and green blue eyes. I wonder if his hair is as soft as it looks.
After a minute I broke the silence, "What are you thinking about?" I spoke quietly, trying not to wake the two sleeping jocks across the room.
"Puppy-sized elephants." he said simply. This of course made me laugh - it was a very random statement.
"No! Think about it!" he exclaimed, gripping my arm. I tried to ignore the jolt of electricity I felt when he touched me, "They would have the evolutionary advantage of being adorable! Who would hurt a puppy-sized elephant! Not me, that's for sure!"
After that moment I loved drunk Kurt. He was way nicer than sober Kurt.
"Oh. My. God." I smirked when I heard the tired voice from across the room. I turned around to see Kurt sitting up and grasping his head.
"First hangover?" I asked with a little chuckle.
He groaned, "Shut up, Puck."
"Here. Drink this," I handed him a big glass of water. He gulped it down quickly and then thrust the empty glass into my hands.
"I think I'm going to be sick.." he gasped out before running into the bathroom. I could hear him emptying his stomach into the toilet. I flinched at the sound.
Today was not going to be a fun day. But taking care of Kurt was totally worth every minute of the night before.