Closing The Gap
Hannah breathed out a sigh of relief as she closed the door behind the last of her guests. She was pooped. She made a mental note to not offer to host anything for the next few months. She headed towards her bedroom, ignoring the mess around her house. As she passed her living room door she noticed a figure sitting on the couch in the dark room. "Hello?" she said, walking towards the couch. She got closer and realised it was Mamrie. "Mames? I thought you left with Grace a while ago?" Hannah asked, approaching the older woman cautiously. Mamrie looked up, and Hannah noticed tear streaks staining her friend's cheeks. "Are you okay?" she asked, hurrying over to sit next to her friend, and placing a comforting arm around Mamrie's shoulders. Mamrie took a shaky breath, glancing across at Hannah for a brief second before staring back at her hands in her lap. "I can't do it anymore, Hannah." Mamrie said softly. "Can't do what?" Hannah asked, looking confused, her hand rubbing comfortingly up and down Mamrie's arm. Mamrie just shook her head in reply. Hannah gave her shoulders a squeeze, encouraging her to continue. "I can't pretend I don't feel this anymore." Mamrie said, her tone resigned as she finally looked up at Hannah properly. Blue eyes met green, as Hannah looked searchingly into Mamrie's eyes. Seeing that Hannah wasn't getting it, Mamrie huffed "Do I have to spell it out for you, dummy? You. I can't pretend I don't feel something for you anymore. It's killing me. I've been torturing myself with this for too long. You're killing me, Hart. I just…I'm…I'm not supposed to feel this way. That's not the way things are supposed to go. Fuck." Words spilled out of Mamrie's mouth in a sudden fury of word vomit. Hannah sat back stunned, her mouth falling slightly open during the course of the red head's rant. "Me?" Hannah asked softly, "You feel things for me? Not friendship things? Other things? Gay things? " "Why do you seem so surprised? Fuck I shouldn't have said anything. I'm an idiot and now I've ruined a perfectly wonderful friendship. Ugh."
Mamrie stood up suddenly, starting to head towards the door when Hannah grabbed her hand. "Hey, hey, slow down there Mametown. You haven't ruined anything, really. I just need a second to process this. It was unexpected is all. You are unexpected." Hannah pulled Mamrie back down to the couch next to her. Mamrie sat in silence, her fingers nervously twisting and untwisting as she waited for the younger girl to collect her thoughts. Finally Hannah spoke up; "I can't believe this Mames. Why didn't you say something sooner? I mean, fuck, of course I've had feelings for you. How could I not? You're stunning and hilarious and thoughtful and caring and wonderful. But I crushed them down. I don't fall for straight girls anymore, you know that. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, and the free broken heart to go with it. But now…wait, what are you saying exactly?" Mamrie gently reached over and pulled the smaller girl into a hug, their roles switched from comforted to comforter just like that. Letting Hannah go, Mamrie said; "I'm saying I'm not sure I'm completely straight after all, Han. I mean there were girls in college, but I always just put that down to experimenting or drunkenness or whatever. I've always had boyfriends. I've always liked boys. But since you came along I've started questioning everything I know about myself. You make me feel things, Hannah. Things I don't want to be feeling for my best friend. Fucking hell, I've tried so hard to ignore it. To put it down to just friendship. But it's not. Hannah," Mamrie turned to face the other girl full on suddenly, taking Hannah's hands in her own; "What I feel for you is more than just friendship feelings. I can pretend it isn't that, but I know in my heart it is. You are too sweet and kind and funny and smart and beautiful for me not to fall for you. I know this is all a lot to take in, and I know you don't want to be hurt by a 'straight' girl again. But if you have any feelings for me too, could we give this a try? Please? If I don't ask I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life." Mamrie finally dropped Hannah's hands, collapsing against Hannah's couch, exhausted. She had said all she could say. The ball was in the younger girl's court now.
Hannah was silent for a moment before she turned to the older woman and said; "Can I think about it? I'm sorry Mames, but I care about you a lot, and I care about our friendship, so I don't want to rush into anything. Let's sleep on it and see how we feel in the morning." "I'm not drunk if that's what you're worried about. I stopped drinking hours ago. And Grace knows I stayed behind to talk to you. She knows." Mamrie said emphatically, as if it would prove to the other girl that her feelings were true. Hannah nodded, but stood up all the same. "Bed first, Mames. You can crash in my spare room if you like. I promise we'll talk more in the morning, just let me process okay?" Mamrie nodded, standing up and following the shorter girl towards the bedrooms.
Hannah silently went about getting clothes for Mamrie to sleep in, a baggy shirt and old pair of track pants. She handed them to her friend before pulling her into a quick hug and muttering good night. Mamrie stood alone in the spare room, looking at the closed door to her friend's room. She sighed, hoping she hadn't ruined everything.
Hannah tossed and turned in her bed. She played out a million situations in her mind, over thinking everything as usual. By the first signs of morning light she had reached a decision, and finally was able to drift off to sleep.
Hannah woke up to the sound of Mamrie singing, and her first thought (before she was fully conscious) was that she could happily wake up to this every day. She opened her eyes, quickly blinking away sleep and trying not to squint in the bright light that was seeping through her curtains. She groaned, rolling over to check the time and saw that it was past ten o'clock already. Stretching, she pushed herself up and out of bed and padded barefoot to the kitchen which was the source of the sound that had woken her. The party's mess had miraculously been cleaned up she noticed. She paused at the doorway to watch Mamrie who was standing at the stove, a coffee mug in one hand and a spatula in the other, singing and dancing to the beat of the song. Hannah decided she liked seeing the other girl wearing her clothes, with her hair still all messy from sleep. She was adorable.
Hannah cleared her throat; "Morning. You cleaned up?" The red head turned around, her song quickly falling silent; "Hey. You're up. Yeah, I thought since I was up I'd make myself useful." "Thank you, you're the best. I'm glad you're still here." Hannah trailed off, moving into the kitchen towards the taller girl. "I thought I'd make you breakfast rather than just running away. Listen, about last night…" "I've thought about it a lot." Hannah butted in, "And if you really meant everything you said..?" "I did. I do." "Well, I'm willing to give us a shot. I'd like to." Hannah smiled, glancing up into captivating green eyes. They were standing really close to each other, Hannah realised. When did that happen? Mamrie cleared her throat, breaking eye contact first, and a smile lit up her face before she pulled Hannah into a bone crushing hug. Hannah laughed, "You're crushing me, Mames." "Sorry, sorry. I'm just happy!" Mamrie quickly released the younger girl, turning back to the stove where she was making eggs. "So, breakfast?" she asked. Hannah nodded enthusiastically and moved over to the kettle where she went about making herself tea.
The girls sat opposite each other and ate their breakfast. After a few minutes of them hungrily digging in, Mamrie cleared her throat; "So, what now?" Hannah looked up from her plate, swallowed her mouthful and replied; "Now I get to take you on a date, and then we take it from there. How's tomorrow night, I'll pick you up at seven?" Mamrie nodded, "Sure!"