This story goes out to a friend of mine who absolutely adores Gintama, and of course, Sakata Gintoki.
This project had been a request by her, and I simply couldn't refuse. Why? Because Gintama is truly a masterpiece, (and a royal pain in the butt to write about!)
Now, this doesn't mean I'm dumping Bridge To The Ever Changing Sky in the trashcan. I'm STILL writing, so all of you lovely readers out there, just keep your pants on and everything will work out. My apologies for keeping you in suspense with a nasty cliffhanger.
Hope you enjoy reading!
Edo is always filled with heartwarming and tender moments in spring time. The weather is warmer and the cherry tree buds transform from their modest closed appearance into full bloom.
The pink blossoms are truly splendid and as gorgeous as gorgeous can be.
Also, the sight of countless office workers, families and groups of friends savoring the spring's ambience under the blossoms is a beautiful sight to behold. So stop rotting away on your couch and get your lazy ass in gear to fully enjoy the springtime, you bastard!—Thus ended the weather girl's rapport.
"What? It's springtime already?" A lazy Gintoki muttered with his pinky stuffed up his nose.
Kagura sat next to the baffled silver-haired young man, munching on a cookie in utter delight. Unaware of the fact that Gintoki wiped off his pinky on her shoulder, Kagura kept munching away, almost biting off her fingers.
"Ne Gin-chan..." she began to say. Gintoki turned to her, still with that bored expression gracing his face.
"Why do I smell rotten fish?"
"That... is because... well, everything smells from time to time," Gintoki replied lazily.
"You know... It's the same with old people. They tend to leave a rotting smell when you live with them for too long," he yawned, utterly bored.
"That's why mankind invented a resting home for old folks. They can stink up the place as much as they want. No' one is bothered by it over there." Kagura nodded lightly, absorbing Gintoki's words like a sponge.
"Old geezers stink. Got it," she memorized it in her brain.
"Gin-chan... You stink. Does that mean you're turning into an old man?" Kagura asked.
"Nope... That's because I drank two whole crates of strawberry milk just to beat the expire date," he replied with a sly grin while patting his stomach proudly. The door slid open with a loud bang, almost ripping off the paper in the progress. Shinpachi made his entrance and he didn't particularly looked pleased.
"I hope you're proud of yourself Gin-san!" he yelled, his voice sharp and shrill.
"Of course I'm proud of myself. It's not every day I end up breaking my strawberry milk record," Gintoki casually picked in his ear. Even now, he refused to move from his spot on the couch.
"I'm not talking about that!" Shinpachi spat, shoving his spectacles upwards. He was silenced by the amount of garbage bags piled up in the cramped room. A foul smell of the rotting garbage found its way into Shinpachi's nostrils. He could barely see straight.
"T-this is even worse than a garbage dump!" Shinpachi leaned against the door-frame, finding it hard to breathe in this heavy atmosphere.
"Why did you have to pick a fight with the garbage men!"
"I was just chatting with them. How could I know that them being stinky all over is part of their job," Gintoki replied, a bored tone resonating in his voice.
"They're garbage men! They stink! That's what they do nowadays! Everyone knows that, but we tend to keep it to ourselves! And thanks to your straightforwardness, they refuse to pick up the garbage here! Otose-san's gonna freak, you know!"
Shinpachi took a few steps into the living room with his nose pinched shut when he suddenly slipped, having stepped on a stray banana peel and crashed into the dreaded pile of garbage bags.
Gintoki and Kagura snickered at the sight of seeing Shinpachi struggling to breathe under the weight of the garbage, his hand sticking out in a final plea for help. Kagura walked over to the mess and dragged his half dead body out with much force, almost ripping off his arm while she was at it.
"You okay Shinpachi? Should I remove the dead mouse in your hair?" Kagura dared to ask. Poor Shinpachi shook his head no, thinking it couldn't possibly get any worse than this.
"Suit yourself," Kagura shrugged for the heck of it and sat back down.
"Gin-san... At least remove the garbage bags in the house. Just dump them in the alley," Shinpachi got back on his feet, removing the dead mouse while suppressing the urge to eject part of his breakfast.
"I guess we should. This place is beginning to smell."
"Only beginning to smell? Is your nose stuffed or something?" Shinpachi cried out in despair.
"Hey! There's nothing wrong with Gin-chan's pose! He just drank two crates of strawberry milk! He has a right to be lazy right now!" Kagura defended Gintoki, misunderstanding Shinpachi's words.
"I didn't say pose! I said nose! I was talking about his nose!"
"Nose, pose! It's the same thing!" Kagura roared about as she held onto Shinpachi, throwing him in Gintoki's direction. A loud crash occurred when Shinpachi landed on the silver-haired man, followed by the disturbing sound of Gintoki ejecting the contents of his stomach.
"KYYYYYAAAAAAAA!"
Most of the garbage has been disposed of. Of course, there was still the matter of apologizing to the garbage men for Gintoki's rude comment, as honest and straightforward as it may be.
As Gintoki dumped the last bag into the now overfilled ally something piqued his interest in the mere rubble; a katana was sticking out from under trash, much like a single flower looks more attractive in a pile of manure. Does that even make any sense at all?
Gintoki held the sword with his left hand, cutting edge up, about half way down the scabbard, he looked at the ornaments and fittings on the sword; they were made of pure silver, making the object very valuable, even more so than the blade itself. Likewise, the guard looked to be signed and might have cost the owner a bundle to make. All in all, the sword most definitely was out of place in a dump like this.
Still with the cutting edge upwards, Gintoki starts to pull the blade from the scabbard very slowly. Holding the sword in the light, it brought out the beauty of the object even more if possible.
"What's an expensive looking katana doing here?" he asked himself, clearly itching to meet whoever owned this magnificent masterpiece. The clean blade was shining in the sunlight, showing no trace of it ever been used before.
"But still..." he began to say as he kept inspecting the sword.
"It's much too sharp, even though it has never been used before."
In the corner of his eye, something else caught his attention. Gintoki realized the katana wasn't the only thing dumped here. His face turned pale upon seeing a female body in the dirt, her limbs spread out in an awkward position. Her pale skin and grim expression only confirmed the current state of the body.
"On the count of three..." Gintoki mumbled under his breath with a straight face. Sure enough, on three he lost his self-control and screamed his lungs out.
"A DEEEAAAD BOOODYYYYY!"
Running footsteps were heard just around the corner.
"What's wrong Gin-chan!" Kagura slid to a halt as her eyes scanned the area.
"We're here to help, Gin-san!" Shinpachi announced rather loudly, until his eyes fell upon the woman's body. Kagura eyed Gintoki, arching her brow once she noticed the sharp object Gintoki was holding onto, the blade shimmering in the sunlight. Gintoki gazed at the blade in his hand... then at the woman's body, and last... staring at Kagura's and Shinpachi's faces, filled with horror.
"N-no... I-it's not w-what it looks like." Gintoki managed to say. Kagura's eyes filled up to the brim with tears, sniffing ever so loudly.
"Gin-chan's a murderer!" Tears rolled down her cheeks as she hiccupped emotionally.
"Now now Kagura-chan," Shinpachi casually placed his hands on Kagura's tiny shoulders.
"There must be a logical explanation for all this-IT'S TRUE!GIN-SAN'S FINGERPRINTS ARE ALL OVER THE MURDER WEAPON!" Shinpachi closed in on Gintoki, examining the katana carefully.
"N-no! I just held it like this! A-and then I saw a dead body in the rubble! I swear! Do you really think I'd kill someone and dump the body in a place where everyone could see?" Gintoki protested.
"So you admit you dumped a dead body somewhere, haven't you!" Shinpachi argued back, the reflection of his spectacles blinding Gintoki's eyes.
"You're really annoying me, ya four-eyed bastard! Do you want to be my next victim? Huh? Do ya!" Gintoki blew up in Shinpachi's face.
"You can insult me all you want because you just confessed, murderer! And with this piece of evidence, I will inform the citizens of Edo of your foul deeds!"
"I didn't kill her, you blockhead! I'm innocent!" Kagura kept on crying, adding volume to the already loud discussion.
"Kagura-chaaaaan! You believe in my innocence, don't you?" Gintoki turned to the girl, practically begging her to recognize his innocence.
"Bwaaahaaaa! I don't know what to believe anymore, Gin-chaaaan!" Kagura wailed loudly, accompanied with a few sobs now and then.
"Face it Gin-san. You don't have any proof. You're done for," Shinpachi said, readjusting his spectacles with a light push of his index-finger. A weight was placed on Shinpachi's shoulder as soon as he finished his sentence. Both Kagura and Gintoki froze to the spot, their faces turning as white as a sheet.
"Ano… I'm not dead." A hoarse voice whispered softly as the words were being registered in Shinpachi's brains. The boy turned his head, only to come face to face with the supposed 'dead body' found in the thrash.
"Can I have my katana back?"
"KYAAAAAAHOOOOOOO!"
"Gomen," the young woman going by the name of Irohahime bowed lightly, apologizing for her foolish mistake of falling asleep in the alley. "I didn't mean to cause any trouble." Utterly shocked by the proper etiquette she was demonstrating, Gintoki abruptly shoved both Kagura and Shinpachi's heads down to her level.
"Show some respect, little punks!" he roared, slamming the two unlucky ones into the ground.
"You're not an exception, Gin-chan!" Kagura somehow recovered from the blow, a trail of blood trickling down her face, releasing a diabolical uppercut onto Gintoki and ended up slamming head first into the ceiling.
"Look at my hair ornaments! They're all messed up!" she complained with a childish huff, fixing her hair as she walked off.
"Gin-san's is in a worse state than you are, Kagura-chan! You might have really killed him this time!" Shinpachi panicked, as always. Sadaharu, the massive crème-white canine sniffed suspiciously, circling around Gintoki twice and eventually took a thoughtful bite in his leg, which Gintoki didn't seem to enjoy very much.
"FEED THAT DAMN DOG ALREADY!" he squealed in a loud, shrill voice that he didn't recognize as his own.
After the chaos had ended, Gintoki settled himself on the couch, and Shinpachi had brought tea, and with his usual, "By any means, don't hesitate to ask for a refill," had taken his place next to Kagura. Irohahime, whoever strange it might be, felt that she had not parted from her daydreams, and that she would awaken back into the safe haven of her home.
"Thank you," she said, her slender fingers gingerly gripping the cup, debating whether she should introduce herself. And if so, would she use her real name?
In the end, she chose to say nothing.
"So, you're still alive, huh?" Gintoki began to say, "Can you prove it?"
"Gin-san, that's rude!" Shinpachi frowned.
"Hey," his hands flew upwards, "I don't want to take any risks. She might be an Amanto zombie sent to earth to suck out our life force and adding it to her own." Despite sucking this theory out of his thumb, he believed it to be true.
Irohahime rose from her seat; she could sense whenever she was considered a nuisance to some people and Gintoki wasn't an exception. He stood on his two feet as well, as if preventing her from bolting through the door when the moment presented itself.
"Gin-chan?" Kagura arched her brow quizzically as Gintoki closed in on the mysterious girl, making her grow uneasy under his gaze.
Gintoki took this opportunity to look at her more closely; despite her constant glaring at him, she was bewitchingly beautiful for a girl her age. She had glorious straight raven-black hair which was graduated into layers and ending little past her shoulders. Inside her large eyes it was always evening. Illumined from within, her eyes glowed red with the colors of sunset.
Wearing a butterfly-bright kimono, with her dainty gestures, precocious chitchat, and pretty face, she should be the most delightful little creature imaginable. But alas, looks can be deceiving. Gintoki has experienced this countless times before, and he won't be fooled again.
"I believe I have overstayed my welcome," Irohahime chirped, holding a manicured hand over her beautiful mouth.
"Cut the crap," Gintoki certainly wasn't in the mood for her games. Shinpachi and Kagura were too confused for words; did the girl pose a threat to their posse?
"What's up with that sword you're carrying? And what's a blue blood doing all the way out here?"
She paused. Gintoki was struck by the fact that she seemed unsure of how to continue.
"To think a mere sellsword like yourself figured out my heritage," she said, a shadow of a smile appearing on her lips.
"You're too damn obvious! At least try to blend in, you amateur!" he flicked his finger against her forehead like a whip. Utterly shocked at the fact that he actually dared to assault her, Irohahime swats his hand away.
"I am NOT an amateur!" She was freshly upset at having to take into account that Gintoki was dumb about her reasons being here.
"I'm well aware of the fact that I greatly stand out!"
"Oi Shinpachi," he turned to the spectacled youngster while intercepting the girl's tiny fists; despite not being strong enough to overpower Gintoki, she did not cease her attempts at hitting him.
"Pass onto her the gift of your unimportant existence, will you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Shinpachi spat.
"Come on Shinpachi. It's a fact that you're practically invisible to the people around you. And that's exactly what she needs to learn; to become plain-ass boring to look at."
"At least have the decency to look at me when you insult me!"
"See how good he is?" Gintoki poked Irohahime lightly with his elbow. "I don't even know where he went," he continued degrading poor Shinpachi. In return, Shinpachi removed his spectacles with one hand, and with the other began to pinch the bridge of his nose.
"There you are, Shinpachi!"
"Cut it out Kagura-chan! Is it because of the glasses that I'm invisible to you people?"
To prove this theory, Gintoki attached Shinpachi's spectacles over Irohahime's eyes. Almost instantly she saw double and pursed her lips, feeling disoriented and a teensy bit woozy.
"A perfect fit. You look like a real nerd," Gintoki appeared blurry in her eyes, although his goofy smile was clear to see for some reason. It took considerable restraint not to boot him in the balls for calling her a nerd. So much for her dignified status.
"She completely disappeared…" Kagura added in a flat monotone, using the very expensive katana as a backscratcher.
"Thanks but no thanks," Irohahime said, not letting herself get rankled. She removed the spectacles and handed them to the owner. Advancing on Kagura, she snatched the lethal device from her grasp and latched it tightly onto her slender waist, refusing to part with the katana next time around.
The smile disappeared from Gintoki's face. "You gonna explain why you carry around such a sharp object?" It just didn't feel right with him. With a sharp edged blade like that, you may as well be cutting down the innocent and undeserving.
"How she got a hold of a bloodthirsty katana with that much evil intend is beyond me," he thought.
The girl noticed his weary eyes on her. "I obtained this sword through my father. Although he cannot bear the thought of me, his only daughter, to wield a sword… I took it anyway."
"He's right," Gintoki gazed at her as if he could never gaze enough. "A sword isn't a plaything. You can seriously injure yourself and others with that ridiculous weight dangling down your waist."
Irohahime frowned and bit her lower lip.
"I'm sick and tired of people, looking at me as if I'm anything but a pretty, dainty little creature, sitting in my toy house, arranging my single branch of cherry blossoms, or amusing myself in my miniature garden…" Sensing the three pairs of eyes boring into her, she raged to herself silently.
"My father is glorious, they say. And my brothers are well on their way to attain their own glory," her lips moved slowly, as if making a mockery of every word she said. "For as long as I could remember, I've been nothing but a prisoner to rules, regulations and etiquette. I want to be independent for once. I want to know how it feels to fight… but unfortunately, I'm a girl. People will keep seeing me as a girl, helpless and weak, and worth protecting."
Gintoki listened with a curious look upon his face. This girl reminded him of a certain eye-patched female who was brought up as a male. Kyuubei's father raised her as a male to be the proper heir to the Yagyuu family because he refused to remarry. Irohahime's father, a powerful and brilliant damyo, military leader and tactician, unknowingly inspired her to stand up for herself and to force her way in this evil world of ours.
"If I were born a man, or in a time in history when women are seen as something more than tools for forming political allegiances and bearing sons, I would have been happier. But it seems I have to cut out my own path…" Gintoki glanced at her hand that held the sword, noticing the cunning delicacy of her fingers that gripped the handle, how they adjusted themselves to the weapon. Her thumb , too close to the guard, sensitively wanting to unsheathe the blade at any moment.
"And with this sword in my grasp I shall succeed. Rest assured, I will not point this sword at anyone but the enemy."
"And who might that be? Your father? Your brothers?" At that moment she pointed her still sheathed sword directly at Gintoki.
"I don't like you, and you don't like me," she said icily.
"But I like you," Gintoki replied casually when Shinpachi sighed. Kagura's muffled laughter could be heard from the couch, and the serious atmosphere diminished.
"Fine!" She took a deep breath.
"I don't like you, but you like me… apparently." And with a roll of her eyes, Gintoki stroked his chin.
"On second thought…" he muttered to himself, thinking it through.
"Do you like me or not?" she displayed the furious anger of a spoiled child. Gintoki looked at his questioner soothingly, as one might look at a weak but passionate woman. He leaned in, unable to resist the temptation to tease her, despite her flaming eyes, "Are you that eager to make me like you?"
Irohahime was completely taken aback and retreated two steps. And then it happened. There was a rending crash near, then a deafening explosion within the tiny apartment. Smoke and powder fumes filled the room. Half stunned, Gintoki rose from his crouched position just in time to see Irohahime stagger to her feet and turn toward him. Slowly the smoke cleared to reveal Shinpachi, Kagura and Sadaharu completely unharmed.
The room was a wreck. The wall had been blown entirely out.
A little ways down, the perpetrator paused, peering over to where Gintoki was standing with a grim, immovable face. In the midst of his inner struggle to freak out or not, the doorbell was heard.
"I'll get it…" Shinpachi managed to say, already knowing from experience it's another idiot at the door. He drew a long, deep breath to brace himself. In the doorway the perpetrator stood; with a bazooka in his hand. Wisps of smoke arose from the muzzle, clearly showing it was used recently.
"You're still alive?" Okita Sougo tilted his head to the side, his reddish-brown orbs overwhelmed with confusion.
"Gin-san… It's for you," he tottered back inside, fatigue getting to him. Turning toward Sougo, Gintoki pointed at him, yelling wildly at the same time:
"What the hell did you blow up this place for! Couldn't you have rung the bell like any normal person?"
"I did ring the doorbell," Sougo said with a bland smile. "We're here for business, danna. Could you spare the time to answer a few questions?"
"Couldn't you have spared my home while we're at it? Huh? Someone better cough up some cash to pay for the damage! That western lowland gorilla better not be showing up here with a bunch of pealed bananas as payment, you hear?" Sougo observed that Gintoki rubbed his forehead, as if to drive away the massive headache he attained. "So, why did you come here for?"
"Danna," said Sougo, "there have been several eyewitnesses stating that they have seen you mingle with the likes of a woman." "What, I can't mingle with the girls? Is that a crime?"
A little ways next to Sougo, Yamazaki looked up from his clipboard. "Hiding the person we're looking for will be regarded as a crime." He flipped a page, studying something, flipped another page.
In the midst of this, however, Irohahime was struck with a panicked look on her face, her body lurching forward as if she was trying to break into a run.
With Sougo's consent, Yamazaki extended a hand with the clipboard in it. Gintoki took it and glanced down. "What are these, photographs? I've never seen her before."
Irohahime breathed a low breath of surprise. Is he not looking at a picture reflecting her very image?
"I don't remember doing her," he said, puzzled. Irohahime tossed a lump of rubble pettishly, hitting Gintoki against the head. All eyes were on the girl, her frown deepening which seemed to bring out her red eyes in a sinister fashion.
"That hurts! And to think I protected your spoiled ass mere seconds ago, this is the thanks I get? Jeez," Gintoki ran his fingers through his hair and winced a little, feeling a solid bump on his head.
"It is considered wicked for a female to speak her mind, yet righteous for a man to protect! Such foolishness I cannot tolerate! I am my own, and I decide when I need protection!"
Sougo looked curiously at his target, vastly interested in this sudden outburst, in the firmness of her tone and the tightening of the weak mouth.
"You think a noble brat like yourself," a wave of anger came over Gintoki as he spoke, "Is worth protecting? Hell no! I've dealt with different girls, and each one of them have different ways of riding the high horse! But you… You're something else entirely, riding on a golden Pegasus and spouting crap out of your ass like a professional!"
Sadaharu wrenched a howl like a wounded animal from its mother, momentarily averting the attention to him. "It's okay, Sadaharu. You don't need to hear anymore of this," Kagura said, her hands covering up the large canine's ears.
"How is this any worse to what he usually says!" Shinpachi managed to mention.
"Ah, I can't look at her face anymore," Gintoki cried, pointing suddenly with a dramatic finger. "Go ahead and take her away."
Irohahime stood still with a sort of growing horror in her eyes, shaking her head softly as if doing this will make her forget his words. Sougo, without feeling sympathy for the girl, at once cuffed her soundly. Yamazaki however felt guilty for reasons he couldn't comprehend.
"But, I don't want to go!" With the feel of cold metal upon her frail skin, her spirit rose like a phoenix rising from the ashes. She pulled back before Sougo could properly handcuff them together, struggling vigorously all around.
"We've got you, so there's no use struggling," Sougo easily overpowered her and paid no mind to her pleading cries.
"I refuse to go back! I need to be true to myself by carving out my own path!"
"If you were really true to yourself, you would entirely submit yourself to man, and relinquish your determination to continue this shameful act," Sougo sneered, followed by Irohahime's startled gaze.
"You think women don't nearly have enough rights as men do?"
"I know so! I don't deserve to be treated this harshly! I haven't done anything wrong! Why must you treat me so cruelly!"
"Listen here," he grinned, followed with a small chuckle. "There is no cruelty greater than a woman's to a man who loves her and whom she does not love; she has no kindness then, no tolerance even, she has only an insane irritation."
Irohahime shut her mouth after that. She racked her brains for any smart remarks about men, but her mind remained blank. "How stupid," Gintoki's patience showed signs of failing him at last.
"You wanna argue about the differences between men and women? Owkay then! Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. A women's magazine also feature pictures of naked ladies. Why is that, Shinpachi-kun?"
A streak of red flashed across Shinpachi's cheeks. "I don't know!"
"Cause guys are damn ugly!"
"Nice Kagura-chan! It is a fact that the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body should not be seen by the light of day."
"Why are you bringing that up all of a sudden, Gin-san!"
"I suppose that's true…" Sougo pondered, scratching his head at the thought of Isao Kondo in all his glory. Yamazaki twitched, quite obviously thinking the same.
"You shouldn't go along with him either!"
"Female cheerleaders are cute, sexy and fresh," Gintoki said, Shinpachi looking at him with a face that said 'You-seriously-going-to-continue-with-this?' "Male cheerleaders are downright scary!"
"I get it, the opposite gender is all-powerful! Just stop it already!" Yamazaki's badminton racket clattered on the floor. The spy put his hands over his ears: a vivid image of his commander clad in a cheerleader outfit left him sickly pale.
"Another good point," Sougo stroked his chin, carefully. Irohahime didn't know what to think of him. His partner is about ready to puke because of Gintoki's mind assaults, but Sougo doesn't seem troubled. He sees nothing beyond the pleasure of the moment, nothing troubles him and so he appears cheerful, satisfied, and serene.
Sougo realized Gintoki was waiting for him to break down, much like Yamazaki.
"Sorry to disappoint you," a pert smirk danced on his lips, and a hard glance of triumph was Sougo's method of making Gintoki uneasy under his gaze. "But I've seen Kondo-san streak multiple times, and Hijikata-san's Dog-Food Special has rendered me immune to anything you can throw against me."
Gintoki looked sullen and nervous—he had hoped to succeed.
"What about picturing Hijikata-kun as a dead corpse? Death by mayonnaise?"
Sougo's face darkened with cruelty so horrible, that Irohahime was confident no normal person exists who could ever enjoy looking at it.
"BAAANZAAAAIIIII!"
At once Kagura swiftly began to slide toward Sougo, and stretching his hand toward Irohahime, Gintoki pulled the girl close to him when Kagura knocked Sougo off his feet and send him tumbling against Yamazaki.
Gintoki seized Irohahime and held her in his arms, and made his escape, though she struggled and fought like a young lioness in his hold. From her position in his arms she saw nothing except a flash of another explosion. The roar of Shinpachi's battle cry filled her ears, and the Shinsengumi soldiers rushed up to help, their heavy footsteps thundering up the stairs.
"Hold on tight," Gintoki steadied himself for a moment, and Irohahime knew he was about to jump, so she shut her eyes and stopped breathing without realizing this. She was in her own little world, drowning out the sounds of battle as best as she could.
"You can let go of me now," Gintoki's voice made her open her eyes, and Irohahime realized she held onto his garbs so tightly, her knuckles saw white as snow. As the two of them stood there in the center of the park, she looked at him. Her expression was inscrutable—Gintoki couldn't guess whether she was glad to be safe, or not.
"I thought I told you," her grip on him loosened. "I don't want to be saved by anyone!" Instead of thanking Gintoki, she stamped her little foot in anger. "Why did it have to be you who saves me, anyway!" she exclaimed.
"I hate you!" There was clearly no gladness reflecting in her eyes.
"Oh, shut up!" Gintoki shouted. "You're such a nag! I would sooner shove a bowl of mayonnaise in my mouth and lie dead before your feet than saving your ass again, you hear!"
"Oi," Hijikata Toushirou stood near, not pleased to see his target mingle with his sugar-addicted rival, "Don't you dare look down on the almighty item that is mayonnaise, you fool."
Irohahime observed how diligently and lovingly he smoked his cigarette, and how handsomely he walked towards them, in spite of glaring daggers at Gintoki for no apparent reason. "Hand her over."
Gintoki did not like the idea of him submitting to the chain-smoker, but he would accept the shame rather than keep Irohahime around. "I don't give a rat's ass about her, so just go ahead and take her away," he grumbled and shot the girl a look.
"For real this time."
"That's it?" Hijikata was so surprised that he dropped his cigarette, afterwards lighting another one. "No backtalk or anything like that? You sure you want to end it like this?"
"I said it's okay for you to take her, didn't I?"
"Yeah, but… I figured you two were close. Don't you want to say goodbye properly?"
"We're not close! She said she hates me!" Gintoki blinked away his tears, genuinely upset. "She's a man-hater!"
"Don't make it sound like I swing the other way!"
"You don't swing the other way?" Hijikata arched his brow, now more confused than ever. "Because it's okay if you do. No need to be ashamed."
"I'm as straight as a goddamn straw!"
"But straws bend, don't they, Hijikata-kun?"
"They sure do."
"They even have these crazy straws that make your drink swoop and swirl through all the loops before reaching your mouth."
"So damn annoying."
Their conversation was stopped short as the two stared down at Irohahime, impatiently tapping her foot with her arms crossed and eyes shut.
"So you straight or what?"
Irohahime struck her own face in response to their idiocy. "Why do I even bother?"
"Well, I guess this is goodbye," Gintoki said, once again flicking his finger against her forehead to make her snap out of her facepalm.
"W-wait, you're actually leaving me with him?" she clung tightly onto his arm, and her expression was pleading rather than angry like before. "Of course. He's from the police. You can count on him to bring you home."
"B-but I…"
"Listen here," Gintoki leaned over her in a sheltering way, and her eyes were still pleading with him. "I already said I'm not gonna protect you anymore, just like you wanted. I'm respecting your decision, so the least you can do is respect mine by letting me go."
Irohahime averted her eyes from him almost at once, and looked down at her hands. Biting her lower lip, her arms dropped to her sides. She had begun to whimper, much to Gintoki's surprise.
Her voice shook, "Your name…" as she asked for one last favor.
Gintoki heard it and smiled; then sighed to think how seldom that little voice would reach him after she's gone.
"Sakata Gintoki-oof!" Irohahime shoved him forward with a loud "I don't need you anyway!" "Oi, oi, make up your mind for once, will you?"
"Hurry up and get out of my sight! Men are nothing but trouble anyway! Always seeing me as someone to protect!"
She took off her slipper and threw it at Gintoki, chasing him out like a stray cat.
I'll carve my own path and no 'one will accuse me of being weak! Not my brothers, and especially not my Father! I'll show them all I'm not to be messed with!"
"In case you haven't noticed, this is a man's world! Good luck reaching your unreachable goal, weirdo!" Gintoki shook his fist at her and stormed off. "You've been a total waste of my time!"
"You done crying?" Hijikata asked gingerly. Although he couldn't possibly see her face, he could hear her weep softly. "I'm not crying," she replied as she turned to face him.
"You're obviously crying," Hijikata arched his brow at her; she was clearly not even trying to hide her tears, constantly sniffing, indicating she needed a handkerchief more than anything else.
"Come on," Hijikata said, "let's go over by the bench, you can blow your nose, talk it out, maybe I can help. At the very least," Hijikata looked around and smiled a good-natured smile, breaking down into a grumble halfway, "I can definitely listen."
Hijikata led her to one of the benches, handed her a handkerchief, patiently listened as she told him her story. He reached into the pocked of his jacket and withdrew another cigarette, spent time smoking it while he waited for her to finish her tale of fear and jealousy and suffering. Hijikata glanced over and saw that she had indeed finished and was looking at her with a face that was still damp from crying.
"Look," Hijikata started, after exhaling some smoke which seemed to poison the air. "I'm no expert on these things. I just wanted for you to calm down. Just wanted to make you see that what you're trying to do is beyond the borders of plain ridiculous. I see a girl sobbing herself to pieces over exactly that, and there isn't any question in my mind as to what I should think. You," and Hijikata stared hard at Irohahime, "need to let go."
"But I don't want to," she blew her nose in a loud fashion, and Hijikata placed a hand on his rapidly beating heart. "That doesn't matter," Hijikata said. "A goal that makes a girl cry her guts out… that's a goal you need to let go of, isn't it?"
"But… I'm sick of it all."
"Che, you're sick of it all?" Hijikata bit on his cigarette, a teensy bit irritated now. "There are women all over the place, struggling to come by. I've seen a lot of shit happen in my lifetime, and you're complaining when you've got it made?" Hijikata began to stare again.
"You're right, women do suffer under the reign of men, especially in your world. But you need to learn to put yourself before others, and to never speak of your troubled feelings again. That's how a woman keeps her pride in the end."
He had adopted the tone of one who has suffered a great disappointment, like a man who has either lost the woman he loved or been cruelly deceived by one. Though nothing of the kind had happened to her, she had come to believe that she has suffered much in life, which was not at all the case.
"I'll quit," she found her lips moving without her consent. "I'll quit chasing after my foolish dreams, so just take me home."
"Alright," Hijikata turned to her cuffed wrist, and with a soft click, he disposed of the device. Her eyes widened considerably, utterly surprised at his action. "I'll take you home, but not as a prisoner."
"I thought you'd set me free," she pouted.
"Hell no! Orders are orders. The higher ups will have my head on a platter, if not them, I'm sure your old man will cut me up instead!"
"True…"
"Don't talk like it's got nothing to do with you!"
With another puff of his cigarette Hijikata grumpily took out his two-way radio, called up his Commander and said that the target has been secured. Irohahime wandered off a bit, still under Hijikata's watchful eye.
"Good job, Toshi," The Commander's voice resounded through the speaker, "I knew I could count on you to woo her into submission!"
"It's not like that!" he hissed, afterwards looking at Irohahime who turned her head at the commotion.
"Just tell me where you are, Kondo-san…" he said, taking another cigarette from his pocket—his fifth—and simply stuck it in his mouth without lighting it.
"About that," Kondo began to say, "Do you think you could keep her company a little longer?"
"Huh?" His gun-metal blue eyes narrowed to mere slits beneath his lowering brows as he heard the beeping sounds of classic video games being played in the background.
"Why? I'm not running a babysitting service here!"
Irohahime crouched down to greet a stray cat, stroking it affectionately as it purred in delight. She paid no mind to Hijikata who seemed about ready to crack.
"Just for a while, okay? The guys haven't been out in a long time, and I don't want to spoil their fun."
"Those punks are playing pachinko, aren't they! Instead of looking for their sister they're seriously playing pachinko over there, huh?" he spat, almost crushing the radio in his grasp. On the other side of the line, Kondo kept his distance with his radio, half-listening to Hijikata's ranting.
"She's been found, right?" The oldest brother spoke, posing on wooden clogs in a man's kimono with a sword tucked into his belt. Anyone who passed the young man would have turned to have another look. He was strikingly handsome. He was tall and slight, fair skinned with fine, rather delicate features. His calm eyes looked over at Kondo with a pensive, slightly disdainful gaze.
"Seems like it," Kondo replied with a light shrug.
"Oi, Tadamune," Hidemune smacked his brother on the head, "We're leaving."
While Hidemune looked absolutely normal in order not to stand out, Tadamune was a different story; the boy was fully clad in armor, the ever so heavy armor of a samurai. He looked like an escapee from the loony bin.
"W-what? But I'm winning here!"
"You're losing because you can't possibly see straight with that eye-patch on," Hidemune retorted as he snatched the piece of cloth, afterwards letting go again and injuring Tadamune's eye for real.
"That hurts!" he removed his helmet and suddenly, he appeared normal to the bare eye; his lustrous black hair, shot with a greenish hue, had tumbled down and framed his pale face. With one oval, hazel eye which was rather bright, it relieved the heaviness of his patched right eye.
"I still haven't challenged the fat drum video game!" Tadamune complained.
"I suppose there's no helping it," Hidemune stroked his chin. "Let's challenge the fat drum video game."
"Can I play the fat drum video game too?" Kondo turned off his radio and put a stop to Hijikata's string of profanities. As he stood there, momentarily forgetting about all else than his new found misfortune, Irohahime continued scratching the stray cat behind its ear.
"Your brothers are a bunch of idiots," Hijikata flicked a cigarette bud at Irohahime's feet, earning her attention.
"You feel like eating?"
She stood up straight and faced Hijikata, one of her brows raised slightly.
"Could you possibly be Hijikata-san, the Dog-Food Specialist?"
The fresh cigarette in his mouth quivered with his suppressed agony, silently chewing on it like a piece of gum.
"The cuffs are coming back on, damn it!"