AN:Disclaimer I do not own any characters from Glee.

This is a Brittany/Santana post college fic, in Santana's POV

You will notice a lack of Brittany in the first few chapters. I wrote it with the desire to dive into Santana's character background, done mostly in flashback.

The rating is mostly T, but the later chapters have a bit more mature theme.

Flash backs are in italics, but so are Santana's thoughts. I'm sure you guys can tell what's going on, you're big kids now.

Alright that's about it. I hope

Chapter One: More Cow Bell

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Fucking mini-vans… I shifted into reverse with more force than necessary to find a new parking spot. Preferably one far away from the mini-van that double parked, sometimes it's hard for me to control my urge to key idiot's cars. I found a spot a little further down the lot. It was crowed in the back lot of Lima's main street with people no doubt going out to lunch or kids wasting time on the streets.

I dropped my forehead to the warm leather of the steering wheel and let out a sigh before rolling up my window. You'd think I wouldn't want to be here, well not Lima. Who the hell would actually want to come back to Lima? College graduates with absolutely no job prospects for starters.

The temperature has already shifted from comfortably warm to hot inside the car. I bang my head on the wheel and squeeze my eyes shut. I've been like this all morning. I'm counting that morning came when my mother called me down for breakfast at eight, not four thirty. The empty quivers of my stomach began when I was still in the shower after breakfast, and they have yet to stop.

I look to the radio seeing that it is 11:46, with a huff I pull the keys from the ignition and throw them into my purse on the empty passenger's seat. My sunglasses are a little broken so they constantly slide down my nose. It's very annoying, but I like them too much to get a new pair. I push them up into my hair, and flip open my phone that has been sitting in the cup holder next to the clutch.

Nothing. I nervously bite my lip. Maybe I should just go home,"Gaah, this is stupid! Come on you're going in there!" Instilling myself with enough confidence to grab my purse and stand outside my car. That's about how far I get before I start thinking of reasons why I should just leave.

Brittany's megawatt smile flashed in my mind and I was reminded of the prize. At least I hoped that I would be graced with a smile, maybe a hug? Probably not.

Maybe though. With renewed confidence, hope of a glance of my ex-girlfriend, I readied myself to face whatever I may find.

You lock this damn door and get your ass in there Lopez. Right.I tap the remote lock twice.Now. Before walking to the back entrance of the diner I took a quick look around the parking lot. The running shoes I have on don't really add much to my height, so I stood on my toes to look any signs of a familiar car. No sight of her car anywhere.

I let out a heavy breath, and stare down at the cracking asphalt. And I can't decide if I'm happy that I'm here first or not. Probably not. It adds to the confounding amount of emotions I'm dealing with right now.

I pull my sunglasses back down to cover my face and walk, though it feels like crawling, to the back entrance to the diner. Pushing through the door, an old bell clanks above me. It's a sound that reminds me of when I was little. Every Saturday morning my Aunt Sonia would bring me here to get breakfast.

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I ran up to the door, waiting for my aunt, my hand on the brass door knob. "Come on Sonia! You're so slow!"

I heard her laugh from across the parking lot, and she slowed her pace to a shuffle."I'm…sorry…San..tana…that…I…ca..n't…walk…as…fast…as…you"

I stomped my foot on the wooden boards beneath me impatiently. Sonia just laughed at my fit and opened the door, the old bell clanking, walking in before me.

"Waiting on you now." I screamed at her and ran into the diner to at least get to our booth before her.

"Looks like the Lopez girls are here." The old man sitting at the table next to the back door I zoomed past, the owner of the diner Scott, waved his cigarette and said something to my aunt.

I was bouncing in the booth next to the window waiting for her to sit when two more people came into the diner from the back entry, making the large bell clank again. It was the first time I actually really noticed it.

The bell was hanging by a leather strap against the old wooden door. The metal was bronze and tarnished. It's sound was familiar and at the same time new to me as I finally made note of it.

"So Tana, do you know what you want?" My aunt slid into the booth and flipped the coffee cup right side up so Scott, who was following close behind her with a coffee pot, could fill it.

"What's with that bell? What's it for?" Sonia turned and look towards the door.

"Oh that old thing? It's made for cows to wear." I asked if it was true. Sonia nodded to me, and thanked Scott for the coffee.

"Then why isn't a cow wearing it?" I grabbed four packs of sugar and ripped them open to pour into my aunt's coffee. Sugar spilled onto the small dish under the cup, but most of it made its way into the cup. I liked that Sonia let me prepare her coffee for her, my mom and dad never let me do anything for them.

Scott's deep chuckle rang in my ears. "Oh, trust me I tried to get my wife to wear it. She out right refuses!"

Sonia joins in with Scott's antics and I chime in with them, without knowing why we're laughing. In the back of the diner I could hear a lady yelling about cows.

"You see Tana, when you get old and married you turn into a fat old cow." Scott laughs as he wanders away to talk to the other old people in the diner and fill our usual order. Sonia's spoon stirs the liquid in her cup silently.

I let air pass through the gap cause by my lost tooth, "I ain't got to worry about that. I'm never getting married, boys are stupid."

Sonia smiles at me and sips her coffee. "Oh really? I doubt you'll feel that way forever. In fact, I bet you'd be kissing boys before you know it."

I laugh at her and stand up in the booth, "The only part of me that is ever going to kiss a boy is my fists!" I box the air and hold my hands up in the air victoriously. Sonia laughs and tells me to sit down before I get challenged to a boxing match.

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I stood at the door of the diner for a moment taking stock of the customers. The diner isn't too busy; it's more of a breakfast place anyway. There are a couple of old women in the front booth by the door, an old man at a table, another couple of men at the counter all drinking coffee and talking.

I look towards the booth that I had always shared with my aunt, the one next to the large front windows on the street, but I decided for one in the back tucked in the corner.

I sit down in the comfortably worn seat, and direct my gaze to the view outside the large windows of the store front. I flip my cup over, like I have seen my aunt do hundreds of times. Coffee might help my nerves, but it could also send me into a state of frantic worrying. I'll take my chances.

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TBC

AN:Let me know what you think about things and stuff. http:/ gleeruinedmylife . tumblr . com

Alright this would be chapter one of many. This is dedicated to Brittana or Santitany [which ever you prefer]; however, Brittany won't be in the first few chapters. And that's only in flashback for the first couple. She will be in the later chapters though, I promise.

It's not all about the ending, it's about the journey.