Who Will Box Carmine?
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Laverne and Shirley. Laverne and Shirley belong to the creator Gary Marshall and Parmount Pictures.
Note: This story takes place in the episode Tag Team Wrestling in season 3.
Shirley ran out of her apartment in a hurry because she was on a mission. Her mission was to find someone who would box an exhibition match with Carmine Ragusa to help raise funds for orphans. As soon as she hit the streets of Milwaukee she found the perfect person for the job.
He was a tall youth who had sandy colored hair and a muscular build that said that he was in good shape. Shirley approached him
"Hello, my name is Shirley Feeny and I am helping raise funds for the orphans. I was wondering if you would like to be in an exhibition boxing match to help our cause." She asked.
"I sure would because I love to box!" the guy said enthusiastically.
"Great! Here is the form to sign up." Shirley said.
"Before I sign, can I ask you one question?" the guy asked.
"Sure." Shirley said.
"Who is it that I am going to be boxing?" the youth asked as he took the clipboard from Shirley and was about to fill out the form.
"Carmine Ragusa." Shirley stated without hesitation.
As, soon as that name flew out of Shirley's mouth the guy stopped looking at the form and all his attention was glued to Shirley.
"Carmine Ragusa as in The Big Ragoo?" he questioned.
"Yes, that's correct." said Shirley.
"You mean to tell me that I would be boxing against Carmine Ragusa, the golden glove champion of Milwaukee?" the guy in disbelief.
"Yes, is there something wrong with that?" asked Shirley.
"Yes, this means I cannot box in your exhibition match for you!" screamed the guy
"Why not?" Shirley yelled back.
"Because I have a pretty face that does not need to be rearranged by the golden glove champion." The youth said haughtily. As soon as he uttered his last sentence he turned on his heel s leaving Shirley fuming.
"Well that is just fine! I will just find someone else then!" Shirley screamed in anger at the air. A few minutes later, Shirley spotted another potential candidate for the job. He was a short, brown haired, middle aged man and Shirley greeted him with a big smile on her face.
"Well, hello there sir would you like to help out the orphans, by boxing in an exhibition match?" asked Shirley kindly.
"That sounds like it would fun!" exclaimed the man.
"Who is the sorry victim, I mean person who I have to box?"
"Carmine Ragusa." stated Shirley.
"I am sorry, but I can't box in the match for you. Carmine Ragusa is just out of my league." The man said and then with a little wave he left Shirley. Shirley stared after him in shock and then started to look for another person. A third person turned up and he was in his late twenties with red haired and he was kind of average, but looked like he would pose to be a good opponent for Carmine.
Once again Shirley met the stranger with a big smile on her face and asked
"Would you like to help the orphans by boxing in an exhibition match?"
"Maybe, who will I box?" the man asked casually.
With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach Shirley answered "Carmine Ragusa."
"No, I can't box in your exhibition match, Carmine Ragusa; the Big Ragoo is too good. He would pulverize me for sure!" the man said while trembling in fear. Before, Shirley could say another word to the man, he took off running at top speed and whether it was out of fear or he was just trying to get a quick getaway Shirley was not sure. Shirley shrugged her shoulders and continued her search.
Hours passed and Shirley must have approached almost a hundred men and as soon as she mentioned Carmine Ragusa they either took off running or politely decline the offer to box in the match. It was getting late in the day and Shirley was fed up. With all the energy she had she screamed at the top of her lungs… "ALL OF YOU ARE A BUNCH OF COWARDS!"
Shirley walked back to her apartment in defeat. Before, she opened the door and had to say that she did not find a single person who would box Carmine one stray thought popped into her head.
"Well, I guess there is no one brave enough in this town to box Carmine Ragusa, the Big Ragoo, and golden glove champion of Milwaukee." Shirley sighed and then walked into the doorway to tell her friends the bad news.
-Fin-