I need a hug

I wrote this right after watching episode 18: The Last Dance. I wanted to continue the scene after Damon told Elena he'd always choose her. Hope you like how I write it! Comments are loved! Delena forever!

"Let me be clear about something. If it comes down to you and the witch again I will gladly let Bonnie die. I will always choose you."

Damon's words upset me, shocked me, and touched me. Was it possible to feel all of that at once?

"Really Damon? Let me make another thing clear right now. I am not some object with no feelings that you have to protect. I understand you and Bonnie had to act fast, that my reaction had to look as real as possible. But what I don't appreciate? Damon you didn't even seem to care. I was in so much pain, hurting so much, and you didn't even try to comfort me. I felt so numb and in shock, and it hurt. I thought you'd be there to comfort me like Stefan. But you just… it felt like you didn't care. That hurt me Damon… You'd always choose me? So you just want to keep me alive, no matter how badly you hurt me in the process?"

My voice broke a little. I saw a flash of pain in Damon's eyes, and he looked like he was going to speak, but I cut him off before he could say anything, "I know you'd do anything to protect me Damon I do. But you have to understand something. I can't watch my friends die for me. What do you think I'd be like if all my friends got killed in all these plans to protect me? I'd be broken. Without my friends, without the people I love, what would be the point? Maybe I'd be alive, but I'd be lost Damon. Is that what you want? For me to be alive but just empty? I know it hurt you to do what you did to me. I know it hurt to see me like that. And I know Damon you tried to act tough, like it didn't bother you but I know it did. I know it hurt you. So why didn't you act like you cared about me?"

I felt the tears coming when I said it. I couldn't forget how I felt when I thought Bonnie was dead. I couldn't forget the way Damon had looked at me, at Bonnie. I knew I was being stupid. The fact Damon had done this to protect me proved he cared about me. But I couldn't shake how when I'd needed him he hadn't done anything. Hadn't held me, hadn't said any words of comfort. The way he'd talked to me. How he'd said to Stefan, "Please calm her down" like I wasn't even there. There were no apologies and no comfort.

"If you want to protect me, why would you hurt me like that?" I choke out, "I know you had to do it. I get that. But why… why did you treat me like that?" The tears are spilling out now. It hurts. "For someone who apparently cares about me, and would always choose me, well, you didn't act like it. You acted like the sight of me crying and in tears was disgusting to you. Why Damon?" I barely get his name out. "Don't just stand there and try to act all tough. If you cared about me then seeing me like that, must have hurt you. Don't act like it didn't!" I almost wanted to slap him again. But I held back. It seemed stupid to let this upset me. Bonnie was alive. I was filled with such happiness and relief over finding out Bonnie was safe. I'd even apologized to Damon for hitting him because honestly, I was just happy Bonnie was okay. And when I'd thought she was dead I hadn't been focusing much on anything except that I thought my best friend was gone forever. But I just couldn't forget how Damon had acted then and when he'd returned to the Boarding House.

Damon had pain in his eyes. That cockiness in his eyes was gone now.

"I will always choose you Elena," he said, looking into my eyes and stepping closer to me. "Always you. I can't apologize for that. But I'm sorry for hurting you like that. I felt horrible for having to do that to you. It ripped my heart out, hearing you cry like that. I had to do everything I could to try and shut those feelings out to keep you safe. As much as I'd end up hurting you, I had to do that, even if you hated me for it. I had to fight my emotions so I wouldn't break down and tell you the truth. That's why I asked Stefan to get you out. It hurt, worse than any physical wound I've ever had. I was never disgusted with you Elena. I was disgusted with myself. I've never seen you like that Elena," Damon went on, "It was agony. Knowing I was the reason behind your tears and pain… I couldn't take it. I felt like if you were in that room any longer, I'd have taken you into my arms and told you everything. I know I hurt you so much. But I had to keep you alive. I had to do it. I had to work to shut out my feelings so my guilt wouldn't get in the way of your safety."

I sniffed, the tears still falling. "Please don't do it again," I whisper. "I know you will do anything but please. Don't hurt me like that. Don't act like you don't care…"

"I do care," Damon whispered, "Even if it didn't seem like it. I had to do it to protect you."

I took a deep breath and look into his face. "You owe me one thing," I say as I think over everything that happened tonight.

Damon cocks his head at me.

"A hug," I say, "I think I deserve a hug after what you put me through today. I've hugged you when you needed me. I need one now."

I was almost worried he wouldn't. But in a movement so fast I barely saw him make it, he had his arms wrapped around me, drawing me close.

"I will always choose you," he repeated.

"Just don't treat me like that ever again," I say, "You can't do that. Please. No matter how much it hurts you, don't treat me like that." I'm crying now, a different kind of crying from the hysterics I'd been in before.

"Shhhh, Shhhh," Damon whispered, "Shhh, it's okay. Everything's ok. I'm sorry. I did what I had to do. But I shouldn't have treated you like that. It was so hard Elena…" And then I saw a tear in his eyes as I looked up into his face. "Being so distant with you when you needed me…I'm sorry. And when I told you the truth Elena, I was filled with so much guilt. And my solution to guilt and pain has always been to shut it off."

I close my eyes, not wanting this hug to end. I need it. "You can't shut it off, not with me." I tell him.

"I will do anything to protect you," Damon goes on, "No matter what. You are the one I always will choose." He kissed the top of my head.

"Why me?" I ask. "Why? What's so special about me that you and Bonnie would do all of this for me? Risk everything? I'm nothing special."

"To me you are. You are everything," Damon put stress on the last word. "You have such a good heart. Klaus won't hurt you. He won't take you. Never." Damon vowed. I didn't miss the fact he didn't make any promises about Klaus not hurting my friends.

"You can't let my friends die," I whisper. "I love them, as much as you and Stefan." I felt his grip on me tighten at the comment about loving him and Stefan.

"I can't lie to you about that," said Damon seriously. "Your life is the most precious to me."

"Now," Damon said suddenly, touching my cheek before I could protest. "You are exhausted. You need sleep." He broke the hug and walked with me to the door. I wanted to argue with him more, but I knew there was nothing I could say. I saw him glance at me, and almost hopefully with a sly look on his face at his own bed.

"You should stay with me," he says teasingly, "There's no safer place than in my arms."

I smirk at him when he says that. I know he probably means it.

"Sorry, I've already got other arms waiting for me." I pause by the door. I know that was mean. And while it means so much to me that he'd choose me, that he cares so much about me, I can't shake my anger at him, for being willing to let everyone I love die just to keep me alive.

"We'll find another way," I say fiercely, "Bonnie won't die for me."
"I hope so," said Damon. And I knew he meant that, but that didn't change the fact he'd let Bonnie die for real to protect me. He'd let everyone I loved die to protect me.

And I couldn't accept it.

I knew what I had to do. It was a dangerous move. But Damon had betrayed my trust. So much for doing things my way. So I was just going to have to take matters into my own hands. Damon had made himself clear. He'd do anything to keep me alive. But I couldn't let him do that, not at the cost of my friend's lives.

So as I lifted the dagger out of Elijah's chest and waited, I wondered if I was making the right choice. But there was no other option. Damon and Bonnie had taken things into their own hands without telling me. Now it was my turn.

The next game changer. I think. I will fight to protect my friends. I'm no different then them. I won't let them all die for me. I will fight for my own life now. I don't want to die. But I can't let them die either. I'm going to go at Klaus with everything I have. I'll find a way to keep the people I love safe.

Damon watched with disappointment as Elena left. He really did mean that. Nothing would have made him feel better or more reassured that Elena was safe than holding her in his arms as she slept. If he could sleep holding her it would probably be the best sleep he'd had in a century. He could protect her. Keep her alive better than anyone else. He wanted her with him and in his sight as much as possible. He really was sorry he'd hurt Elena with how distant he'd seemed. He'd been doing all he could to keep his tough image intact so he wouldn't lose his resolve in his determination to do anything to keep Elena safe no matter what the consequence.

And while he wanted to be there for her more no matter how much it hurt, he couldn't promise he would choose anyone else over her life. It was always going to be her. Always. He really had come to care for Bonnie as a friend. But her life would never mean as much to him as Elena's. And with Elena's life in more danger than ever before, he had to do everything to protect her. Even if that meant hurting her as they'd just done. He admitted he was full of guilt with how he'd treated her. That he'd made her cry and put her through so much pain. But in the end that had kept her alive and given them another chance to take out Klaus. Even if it made her hate him, he'd keep doing what he needed to so she would survive. He couldn't take a chance with Elena's life. He wouldn't let her die.

He didn't know if he'd ever win Elena's heart. He still had some hope. But his focus now wasn't getting her to love him. It was keeping her alive. Keeping her safe. Protected. That was all the mattered. Keeping the one he loved alive. He angrily wiped at another tear that had formed in his eyes. Hearing Elena tell him how much he'd hurt her was more painful then getting stabbed with a stake. His tough exterior had faded a bit with her when they'd talked. It was impossible to hide the guilt when she was directly telling him her feelings. He loved her. He didn't want to hurt her. But I'll do anything to keep her alive. I'll make the choices Stefan can't make. Even if I have to hurt her, make her hate me. She is not dying. I won't let it happen. I'll do anything to ensure she survives. No matter what.

Hope you all enjoyed my story! I hope Elena and Damon seemed in character. I wanted Elena to confront Damon and get a reaction out of him and get past his walls, for him to show how much it hurt him to cause her so much pain. Thanks for reading!