The Big Bang Theory The Infant Factor
The episode opened up in Sheldon's apartment as the sun shined through the window. Sheldon was sitting in his chair at his computer and Amy stood next to him and leaned over to look at the screen.
Leonard walked in from his room and he stopped and looked at Sheldon and Amy and said, "What are you doing?"
They both looked at him and then back at the monitor as Sheldon said, "Oh hello. We're trying to calculate the most suitable option for Howard and Bernadette's baby shower."
Amy stared at the screen with an indicative expression as she said, "Considering the possibility that their child could be a girl indicates that it should be decorated with feminine colors."
She then looked down at Sheldon as he looked up at her with an indicative expression and pointed his finger up as he said, "Ah, but the actual gender of Howard and Bernadette's child has been undetermined, so it should be decorated with colors that are neither masculine nor feminine."
She then stared into space with an indicative expression and then looked back at Sheldon as she said, "An interesting hypothesis. I concur, we shall do that."
They looked back at the screen and Penny walked in and smiled as she said, "Hey what's up!"
Sheldon did not turn to her as he said, "We're trying to determine the appropriate possibility for Howard and Bernadette's baby shower."
Penny walked forward and pretended to be interested in what they said as she said, "Oh that's nice. How's that going?"
Amy stared at the screen indicatively as she said, "We're currently trying to determine what would make an exceptional present for them and what would be the appropriate wrapping of it."
Penny showed a bored expression as she stared at them and then she smiled like she was interested as she said, "Well choose wisely."
Leonard then smiled at Penny and she looked at him as he put his hands together and said, "So Howard and Bernadette are having a baby; I was wondering that could ever happen with us."
She showed a slightly annoyed expression as she stared at him blankly and then after a minute she put her left finger out and said, "Hey I'm having sex with you, don't push it so much."
Raj then walked in and showed a blank expression as he said, "What's going on?"
Penny looked at him indicatively as she said, "Sheldon and Amy are planning Howard and Bernadette's baby shower."
Raj smiled as he walked to her and stood next to her as he said, "Oh that's great. I cannot believe I will be attending my first baby shower!"
Leonard showed a weary expression as he looked at Raj and said, "Hopefully it won't also be your last."
Suddenly Howard walked in with his right arm around Bernadette's shoulder; he was wearing a black T-shirt and a light brown jacket. Bernadette was wearing a dark pink button down shirt and a dark green undershirt. She was also wearing a dark pink skirt and black stockings. She was smiling as she had her right hand on the front of her pregnant belly, which curved at the top under her breasts (like Amy on Good Luck Charlie).
Howard smiled as he said, "Hey guys, we brought the baby."
They all stared at him with blank expressions and he smiled with a slightly embarrassed expression.
Next the opening theme played and at the end of it showed a shot of all of them in Sheldon's apartment eating Chinese food and Bernadette had a pregnant belly.
After The Commercial
Bernadette was smiling with her hands on the front of her belly as she sat on the couch with Penny in the middle of the couch (so no one was in Sheldon's spot).
Penny smiled at Bernadette in a friendly manner as she said, "So… how do you feel now that you're pregnant?"
Before anyone could say anything Amy showed an indicative expression sitting in the chair next to the couch as she said, "I'm sure naturally she feels a certain hormonal imbalance as well as hunger cravings and the occasional force of her unborn infant pushing against her."
They both looked at Amy with blank expressions then Penny turned back to Bernadette, who smiled as she said, "It feels wonderful!"
She smiled as she rubbed her belly and looked down at it while she said, "It feels like I'm carrying a little kid inside me."
She then rested her hands on top of her pregnant belly as she smiled at Penny and Amy as she quickly said, "It's like I'm a mother kangaroo carrying my Joey in my pouch."
Sheldon was sitting at the computer with his hands on the keyboard when he turned his face to them with an indicative expression as he said, "An effective simile, though mother kangaroos carry their young in their pouches after they're born and before they can walk."
Penny showed a blank expression but then she looked back at Bernadette and smiled as she said, "So, have you been feeling moody lately?"
Bernadette smiled as she shook her head and she giggled and said, "No, in fact I've never been happier."
Suddenly Raj walked up behind the couch and began talking as he said, "Oh that's good because…"
Suddenly he jumped when Bernadette interrupted him and angrily yelled, "Don't interrupt me bastard!"
She then smiled as she patted her belly and said, "I don't even care that I'm fat."
Penny smiled in a joking manner as she said, "It's not that bad. Actually, it's kind of funny because you kind of look like you ate Howard."
Amy showed an indicative expression as she said, "Ah yes, the classic unrealistic cartoon joke where a person can swallow another person whole."
Sheldon stared at the computer and typed while he said, "Not so much unrealistic as unlikely."
Amy showed a confused expression as she turned to Sheldon and said, "I'm afraid I don't follow."
Sheldon stopped typing and turned his head to her with an indicative expression as he said, "Well given the circumstances that human evolution provides limitless possibilities and python's ability to swallow whole things larger than its throat, it is possible that that scenario could become a reality in the future."
Amy looked up with an indicative expression as she said, "Hmm, now that you put it that way I suppose it is possible."
Penny turned back to Bernadette, who smiled as she said, "It's so wonderful; I can feel the life inside me."
Penny showed a curious expression as she said, "Can I feel it?"
Bernadette smiled as she said, "Sure."
Penny put her head up to the side of Bernadette's belly and her eyes moved around as she listened to it.
She showed an interested expression as she said, "I think I can hear it."
After a minute of listening she showed surprise and took her head off as she said, "Ooh, I think I felt it kick."
Bernadette smiled as she held the sides of her pregnant belly and she happily said, "One day he'll be kicking a ball."
Penny smiled in a friendly manner as she said, "So, have you thought about what to name it?"
Bernadette smiled as she moved her eyes up in thought and she said, "I've thought about Jade if it's a girl and Cody if it's a boy."
Howard then walked to them and sat between Penny and Bernadette and he smiled as he and rubbed the front of Bernadette's belly and said, "Well if it's a girl we know she'll be as beautiful as her mom."
Bernadette smiled as she put her right hand on her belly over Howard's hand and she said, "Oh Howie!"
They leaned toward each other and kissed on the lips lovingly and then they smiled at each other as Howard said, "And tonight will be another good night for the three of us."
Suddenly Sheldon turned to them with a slightly upset expression as he said, "But Howard tonight is our Jenga tournament!"
Howard then showed an upset expression as he closed his eyes and said, "Oh crap! I forgot!"
He turned to Bernadette who smiled as she said, "You can go Howie. I don't mind."
Howard showed an unsure expression as he said, "Really? Are you sure you'll be okay at home by yourself?"
Bernadette smiled as she rubbed the front of her belly and said, "I won't be by myself."
Howard smiled as he patted the top of her pregnant belly and said, "You be good for your mother."
The screen then briefly showed electrons circling around an atom.
Later that day Bernadette was in her and Howard's bedroom staring at herself in the mirror with her right hand on top of her belly. She tapped her fingers one by one as she smiled with her left hand on her hip.
Suddenly Penny walked in and showed a friendly smile as she said, "Hey Bernadette."
She smiled as she said, "Hey Penny."
Penny showed an inviting expression as she said, "So, since Howard, Sheldon, Leonard, and Raj are busy I thought I'd invite you to come with me and Amy on a Girl's Night Out, like we did for Christmas."
Bernadette smiled in a friendly manner as she said, "Aw, thanks Penny but I'll pass."
She turned around and began to walk toward the closet and Penny showed a surprised expression as she said, "You sure? We're going out to get drunk."
Bernadette turned to her with a surprised and slightly uneasy expression as she put her left hand on the front of her belly and said, "I can't get drunk while I'm carrying Jade/Cody!"
Penny then waved her hands with a reassuring expression as she said, "Oh no, you don't have to have alcohol. You can have some nonalcoholic drinks."
Bernadette then turned and walked to the other side of the bed while she said, "No, I really shouldn't go. If I went to a bar while I was a pregnant, well what kind of mother would that make me?"
Penny walked toward her and said, "Relax! As long as you don't drink or smoke nothing will happen to the baby. As long you watch what you eat and drink nothing will go wrong."
Bernadette then sat down on her side of the bed and she showed a nervous expression as she said, "Thanks but it really isn't a good idea."
Penny then showed a surprised expression and then she sat down next to Bernadette and said, "Alright spill it what's up?"
Bernadette showed a nervous expression as she said, "It's just… I'm a little scared."
Penny showed confusion as she said, "Why you've gone out without Howard before."
Bernadette turned to her with a slightly angry expression as she exclaimed, "Yes that was before I was pregnant!"
Penny laughed and smiled as she said, "Please! Nothing bad is going to happen to you just because you're pregnant!"
Bernadette showed a nervous expression and put her right hand on the front of her pregnant belly while she said, "I'm not worried about myself! If something bad happens to me it's bad enough, but if something happens to me while I'm pregnant than my little guy won't have a chance."
Penny then showed a comforting expression as she said, "Don't worry, nothing will happen to the baby. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you shouldn't go out once in a while. Nothing bad will happen, and even if something bad does happen we'll get through it."
Bernadette stared forward in thought and after a few seconds her worried expression gradually turned into a smile and she looked at Penny and said, "Okay."
Penny smiled as she said, "Great!"
Commercial Break
The screen then briefly showed some electrons moving around an atom.
That night Sheldon, Raj, Leonard, and Howard were sitting in Sheldon's apartment; Sheldon, Howard, and Raj were sitting on the couch and Leonard was sitting in the chair. They had all the Jenga blocks stacked up on the table and they were getting ready to play.
Sheldon then turned his head around to look at everyone while he said, "Now are we all familiar with the rules of the Jenga tournament?"
Leonard showed an indicative expression as he said, "We all play twenty games, whoever makes the tower fall loses the game, and whoever has the lowest number of losses wins the tournament."
Sheldon showed a blank expression as he said, "Thank you Leonard, and nobody likes a soar loser."
Leonard showed an annoyed expression; suddenly Penny walked in through the door wearing a black jacket and dress with black shoes and she said, "Sup game nerds."
They all looked at her and she said, "Just thought I'd show ya how we're going on a Girl's Night Out."
She then took off her jacket and showed her dress and how one could see the tops of her breasts.
Leonard showed a mesmerized expression as he said, "I know what I'm missing."
Amy then turned her head to the doorway as she said, "Amy."
Amy walked in with a blank expression as she was dressed casually; she looked at them with a blank expression as she said, "I'm hoping tonight I will be able to fill the void of sexual events I never experienced."
Amy then smiled as she looked back at the doorway and said, "Bernadette."
Bernadette walked in wearing red shoes and a red dress with holes in the back and under the arms (like in The Santa Simulation) but part of it stuck out because of her pregnant belly. Under her belly it moved back under it.
She showed an unsure expression as she said, "I don't know Penny. I don't think this dress looks good on me like this."
She her head to Howard, who stood up and smiled as he walked toward her and said, "Are you kidding?! You are the hottest pregnant woman in the world!"
She giggled and said, "Aw, thanks Howie!"
Penny then moved her left arm toward her body in a gesture meaning she wanted them to come with her while she said, "Alright let's go."
She and Amy walked out the door and Howard had his right arm around Bernadette's shoulder and he rubbed her pregnant belly as he smiled and said, "Just bring the little guy home before his bedtime."
She giggled and Howard looked down at her belly and smiled in a joking manner as he said, "And you stay with your mother."
She turned around and walked out and closed the door while she swayed her hips.
Howard sat back on the couch and Leonard looked at the tower as he said, "Alright I'll go first."
He the poked out his right finger out and pushed out one of the blocks in the middle of the second highest row and then he moved his hand around to pull out the rest of it.
Raj then said, "My turn."
Raj reached his hand out and pulled a block out of the side of a row nine inches off the table.
Howard then began to reach his arm out as he smiled and said, "This one's for my baby."
He pulled a block out the opposite side of the same row Raj pulled his from, so now in that row there was only one block in the middle holding up the rest of the tower.
Howard smiled conceitedly and gently said, "Who's your daddy?!"
Sheldon showed a weary expression as he shook his head and said, "Oh so juvenile."
Sheldon showed a blank expression as he reached down and pulled a block out the left side of the bottom row.
They all showed nervous expressions and Leonard showed a confused expression as he said, "Why'd you take that piece?"
Sheldon showed an indicative expression as he said, "To make the game harder."
Raj showed a confused expression as he said, "Why?"
Sheldon showed an indicative expression as his head alternated from Raj and Howard to Leonard repeatedly as he said, "Statically speaking it is more likely that when the game becomes harder those who have less a chance of winning will lose sooner."
Leonard showed an annoyed expression as he sarcastically said, "Yeah because you are so much smarter than the rest of us."
The screen then briefly showed electrons moving around atoms again.
Penny, Amy, and Bernadette walked into the bar; Penny smiled happily, Amy showed a blank expression, and Bernadette smiled as she held onto the front of her pregnant belly.
They sat down at a table and Penny noticed Bernadette still holding onto the front of her belly and she said, "Um Bernadette… does your stomach hurt?"
Bernadette smiled, not taking her hands off her belly, as she said, "No, not at all."
Penny smiled nonchalantly as she said, "Than why are you holding your stomach like that?"
Bernadette looked at her belly and then back at Penny and smiled as she said, "Oh, I'm securing Cody to make sure he'll be okay."
Penny showed a stressed expression as she said, "Bernadette relax! Everything will be fine! I mean really what could happen?!"
Amy showed an indicative expression as she looked at the two of them and said, "Well, technically speaking, there are infinite possibilities. Though statically improbable it is possible that a criminal could break in and try to kill her or perform sexual actions, or that a fire could start and cause the building to collapse on our heads."
They both looked at her and Bernadette showed a nervous expression and Penny showed a stressed expression as she said, "You're not helping!"
Amy showed a blank expression as she shook her head with her eyes closed and then put her hand down and looked at Bernadette while she said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Calm down. There's nothing to worry about."
Penny looked at Bernadette with a reassuring expression as she said, "You see Bernadette?! Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can be afraid to leave your apartment."
She turned from Penny to Amy and then smiled as she put her hands on the table and said, "You know, you're right. I should just enjoy my evening."
Penny looked at Bernadette and Amy as she smiled and said, "Now, let's get something to drink."
Bernadette then put her left hand up and said, "Uh nonalcoholic."
Penny then pointed her right finger and smiled as she said, "Right. Right."
The screen once again showed electrons moving around atoms.
In Sheldon's apartment they were playing another game of Jenga; there were many blocks missing from the sides and middle of the top of the tower. Leonard showed a nervous expression while he pulled a block out of the left side of the fifth row, which also had a block missing from the right side.
As he pulled it out the top of the tower wobbled and fell apart while he said, "Oh no! Oh no! Oh crap! That's three times!"
He looked at the blocks and Sheldon smiled as he looked at Leonard and said, "It seems your world has fallen apart. Bazinga."
Leonard then showed an upset expression as he moved his right hand to refer to the pieces and said, "Why do I always lose like this?!"
Raj showed a surprised expression as he said, "Dude, relax! I lost two games too."
Leonard still showed an upset expression as he said, "Yes but you lose when it's almost guaranteed you'll lose; I lose when I'm halfway there!"
Howard then looked at Sheldon with an annoyed expression as he said, "I told you we should have played Dungeons and Dragons."
The screen again showed an image of some electrons circling an atom.
Penny, Amy, and Bernadette were sitting in the bar with glasses of nonalcoholic drinks in their hands.
Penny the looked at Bernadette and smiled as she said, "I told you there was nothing to worry about."
Bernadette smiled at her but then showed a surprised expression as she put her left hand on the side of her pregnant belly and said, "Oh!"
Penny showed curiosity as she said, "What is it?"
Bernadette rubbed her left hand on the side of her belly and smiled as she said, "Just a kick."
She smiled as she patted the top of her belly with her left hand and looked at it as she said, "It's alright sweetie. Mommy's here."
Penny briefly laughed and said, "That's cute. That's really cute!"
Bernadette smiled as she patted the top of her belly and said, "Thanks. I like to pretend she can hear me in there."
(Note: I know she called it Cody the first time but since they don't know whether it's a boy or girl she goes back and forth.)
Amy showed a blank expression as she said, "As if that was not already obvious."
Penny and Bernadette looked at her with slightly annoyed expressions, then Penny smiled at Bernadette and said, "So… what are you hoping for?"
Bernadette smiled as she said, "I'm sort of hoping it's a boy so he can bond with Howie."
Penny showed a curious expression as she said, "And it never occurred to you or Howard that it might be a wise decision check and see which gender it is?"
Bernadette showed an honest expression she said, "We haven't had time yet. We've been thinking about how to decorate the baby's room."
Penny looked at her curiously as she said, "So… uh… what if it's a girl?"
Bernadette showed an expression of thought but then smiled as she said, "Hmm… well than I guess I'll be able to understand how she feels when she's older."
Amy showed a curious expression as she said, "Have you been thinking about anyone who may be qualified to take care of your child when you are away."
Bernadette smiled as she said, "Well, we think Sheldon might be a good option."
Penny smiled in surprise and slightly laughed and then said, "Are you kidding?! Do you really think Sheldon would be willing to change a diaper?!"
Bernadette showed an expression of thought and then she said, "You're right. Well Raj might be good since he already looks after his dog."
Amy showed a blank expression but spoke sarcastically as she said, "Yes, I'm sure a dog owner would be a perfect guardian for a human baby that requires more attention than a common canine."
Bernadette then turned to Penny and back to Amy with an unsure expression while she said, "Or you guys."
Penny smiled with a mellow expression as she said, "Yeah I could do that."
She then smiled and looked at her pregnant belly and patted her left hand on the top of it as she said, "You hear that?! You'll be spending time with your Aunt Penny!"
Penny looked up and smiled at the gesture she made.
Next the screen again showed electrons circling around an atom.
At Sheldon's apartment they were playing yet another game of Jenga; the tower had a few blocks missing from the middle in the center and the five top blocks were arranged in the formation of X's. There was only block at the bottom holding the rest of the tower up; Leonard showed a nervous expression as he slowly tried to pull out once of the two pieces holding up the top half of the tower.
When he moved it the tower collapsed and he said, "Oh man!"
Sheldon smiled as he said, "It nearly took you twice as long to lose than last time. Bazinga."
Leonard showed an upset expression as he said, "How do I lose more than anyone?! Howard didn't lose and he took four blocks off the bottom two roes!"
Howard showed an innocent expression as he said, "I moved them slowly so they it wouldn't lose balance."
Raj showed a slightly stressed expression as he said, "Leonard just let it go we all hate it when you do this."
Leonard was still upset as he said, "What do you mean when I do this?!"
Sheldon showed an indicative expression as he said, "Face reality Leonard, you do this almost every time we play Jenga."
Leonard pointed his finger out angrily as he exclaimed, "Hey… some of those times you guys bumped the tables!"
The screen showed the electrons revolving around the atoms again.
The girls walked up the stairs to Sheldon's apartment while Bernadette rubbed her pregnant belly with her right hand and happily said, "Tonight was great Penny!"
They stood in front of the door to Sheldon's apartment when Penny smiled and pointed at Bernadette's belly and said, "Thanks I'm glad you liked it. I'm also glad you brought your kid with you."
She giggled and then looked past Penny, at the door, and said, "I wonder how the boys are doing?"
Penny looked at the door and said, "I don't know, let's see."
She opened the door and they walked in and Leonard angrily pointed at Sheldon and said, "I cannot believe you won again!"
Sheldon showed an indicative expression as he said, "Excuse me but I endured the lowest number of losses, which is how the rules work."
Leonard angrily stood up and yelled, "Yes but you win every time and I always come in last!"
He then stormed into his room and Sheldon, Raj, and Howard turned around and looked at the girls.
They showed awkward expressions as Sheldon said, "He did not take his losses very well."
Howard looked at Bernadette and tried to change the subject as he said, "Did the baby have fun?"
Commercial Break
For the final time the screen showed electrons moving around atoms.
Howard and Bernadette were in their bedroom and they were getting ready for bed as Howard wore boxers and Bernadette wore a pink nightgown with part of it hanging from her pregnant belly. They got in bed and Bernadette smiled as she laid close to Howard and took off her glasses.
Howard smiled as they stared at the ceiling and put her arm around her as he said, "So was the baby good?"
She smiled and said, "He kicked a little bit but he was good."
Howard joked a bit as he said, "Did she sleep well?"
She smiled as she said, "She slept like a baby."
They both chuckled a little bit and Howard said, "Hey."
Bernadette smiled as she said, "What?"
Howard smiled as he looked at the ceiling and said, "Maybe when we put the baby to bed at night we should get Sheldon to sing Soft Kitty."
She giggled a bit and said, "I think he'd like that."
Howard looked down and rubbed his hand on the blanket where Bernadette's belly was and he smiled as he said, "Until then sleep well."
Bernadette looked down at her belly when he took his hand off and she happily said, "Goodnight Jade."
Howard smiled as he said, "Goodnight Bernadette."
She smiled as she said, "Goodnight Howie."
She then reached her hand over to the side and turned off the lamp and the screen went black and we see the last credit.