Title: I Wish You'd Grow Up
Author: Star Way
Genre: Angst
Category: Code Lyoko
Rating: PG-13 for mild language and a drug reference
Summary: "Do you think I'm stupid, Ulrich?" Odd asked quietly, both hungry for an honest answer, and fearing one at the same time. Post Killer Music.
Notes: I'll probably get a grand total of four reviews for this. But it's cool.

A thick, still silence hung in the chilly air. Occasionally, a crow would be heard distantly, or the wind would shake the tree leaves with an ignorable whoosh. Other than that, the world was soundless. Grey skies consuming the world whole threatened to release its storm on the world below at any moment, thunder roaring with laughter at everyone it managed to get soaking wet.

But Odd didn't care.

He pulled his legs up onto the rough wood of the bench he was sitting on, and crossed them. He supported his head on two pillar-like arms, elbows digging into their resting place on his thighs. By all outward appearances, he looked almost dead. Expressionless eyes stared blankly ahead, boring holes through everything in their path, but still seeing nothing.

There were classes that day. Ulrich and Jeremie and Yumi had met with him briefly that morning before they all headed off to where they needed to be, and at the time, he'd had every intention of going along with them. But at the last moment, he'd decided not to. Excusing himself to go to the bathroom, and saying that he'd meet them in the classroom later, he had run off, only to hide, carefully waiting for all the other kids to leave before moving from his spot.

The front of his mind had told him that he was doing this because he was Odd. It was in his nature to do stupid things just for the hell of it… like skip class or spray paint graffiti on the school walls or play pranks on Sissi. More often than not he'd get caught, but that was nothing a little return-to-the-past couldn't fix. Most of the time.

But the back of his mind, though being thoroughly ignored by almost all the other parts of him, knew the truth.

He had come out here almost completely not caring whether he got caught or not. He just wanted some time to himself for a while. Time to think.

What had it been like again? The music. It was so entrancing, but in that upbeat, fun way. Like a rave, but instead of ecstasy, the music itself was the drug. It had made him happy. How was he to know it could have killed him? And it made him not care about whether or not he fought with Ulrich or not. He knew somewhere inside of him that no matter what happened, they'd end up friends again later anyway. That's how it always worked. And besides, they were teammates, not just friends. They saved the world together.

It was the failsafe insurance between them. No matter what happened, eventually they'd work it out, and that was just how it went. Right?

Odd looked up at the sky. He thought about everything that had happened since returning to the past. That night when Ulrich was studying, Odd was acting just as stupid as before. Only this time, Ulrich had brushed it off with a lame joke and a couple laughs. Why had he done that? Odd wondered why it didn't bother him as much the second time as it had the first. Was he guilty? Did he think that if he yelled again, he'd break his hyper-active purple haired friend like glass? Did he think that being angry would kill him?

But… it didn't matter now, did it? Ulrich didn't seem like he was angry anymore. He had laughed. He had just been himself, quiet, protective of his feelings. That meant everything was back to normal… for now.

But it didn't make it feel right… Ulrich had been angry at him. And for a damn good reason, too… he had been his usual hyper self. He wouldn't stop, even when he was told. All he wanted was fun. And he didn't care what effect it had on anyone else.

A terrible pang of guilt washed over the purple-haired boy, and he took a deep breath.

I'm so damn stupid.

A casual voice from behind the boy made him almost jump. Almost. He might have, even. That is, if he cared about being caught. "What are you doing, Odd? You're gonna get in trouble, you know."

Ulrich's voice was slow and emotionless, as usual. Odd turned around on the bench to see his friend staring at him blankly, hands pocketed.

"I could be asking the same thing about you, Ulrich."

"I thought something might have happened…or whatever. So I came looking for you," he explained in his usual seemingly-careless voice.

"Nothing happened," Odd replied, carefully keeping any emotion out of his voice.

Ulrich walked around the bench and took a seat next to his friend.

The world, which was once quiet, seemed to be taunting Odd with an even quieter quiet. As if it wanted him to feel awkward, as if it was waiting to laugh at whatever pathetic thing he would say next.

"Are you still mad at me?" he asked.

"I dunno," Ulrich said, sitting leaned-forward, his hands pressed together lazily.

Odd looked over at his silent friend with a slightly anxious glint in his eye. "What do you mean?"

"I just…mean…" Ulrich paused, not looking Odd in the eye. "I don't know. Never mind."

Odd sighed dramatically, angered slightly that his friend couldn't be straight-forward with him.

"Alright, fine. So maybe I am a little bit mad at you. So what?"

Odd looked down. "I knew you were."

Ulrich rolled his eyes, and then quickly brought them back down onto the ground below him. "What difference does it make now anyway? It's over now. Xana lost."

"What does Xana have to do with this? You would have been mad at me anyway, whether the whole thing with the music had happened or not," Odd concluded grimly.

Ulrich let his back fall to the support of the bench in a slightly annoyed manner. "I just mean that … I dunno… it just seems like… well, what if we had needed you in Lyoko? If you hadn't been acting so…" he let himself trail off.

"Stupid?"

Ulrich didn't say anything.

"Do you think I'm stupid, Ulrich?" Odd asked quietly, hungry for an honest answer, but fearing it at the same time.

Still no reply from Ulrich.

"Damn it, Ulrich. Why won't you talk to me?"

Ulrich stood up, and looked his friend in the eye. He took a deep breath. "There are just some days where I wish you'd grow up, Odd, instead of living in this childish dream of yours where everything is just happy and fun. But you never do. And you never listen. So you never learn! How can you expect me to just accept you all the time when sometimes all I want is just a little bit of quiet!"

Odd didn't say anything.

"I just don't understand you, Odd… and I'm not sure if I ever will, either…" He stared down at his silent friend for a moment, as if making sure his words had sunken in to his liking. Then he started shuffling away, leaving his friend to the silent, grey world.

Odd remained motionless, examining the dirt by his feet intensely. He didn't know what to think, or what he was going to do…

Tiny specks of cold water began to fall. The drops grew in size and frequency relatively quickly, and soon the world around him was crying cold, heavy tears that clung to his now shivering body mercilessly.

He brought his arms around his shoulders, embracing himself, and slowly laid down on the bench. Curling himself into a ball, he let the freezing sheets of water pour over him.

I'm so… stupid…