Firstly, a note to all those waiting on the next chapter of Effect of Lies... That story has not been forgotten about, I'm just really struggling with the current chapter. Hopefully it'll be up soon but I make no promises... Staring at a word document for 2 hours a night seems to be doing me no favours.

A little Fault in Our Stars songfic to Lucy Spraggans "'91" … I claim no ownership of either the song or the characters, just use them with much gratitude.

Please Don't Leave Me When We've Just Begun

I find myself persistently
caught up confused
resisting the urge to kiss you,
I never see this side of me,
you spin my head excitedly,
oh round the issue

She didn't really understand how it started, when she started feeling that way towards him but she did, somehow, and then every day they spent time together became a challenge, every second resisting the urge to throw herself into his arms. And she knew he couldn't feel the same, because he was clear, and she was just a dying little cancer child.

Stuck for you, I'll leave this place
for picture perfect wonderspace,
so I can't miss you,
Wouldn't it be nice
if we could start living life decisively
and go on this trip soon

And he planned the trip to Amsterdam for her, and it was the most amazing moment of her life, because she was going to get to travel, and Augustus would be there with her, and there was noone else in the world she would rather have by her side. But because she was ill, because she always would be, things weren't as simple as just jump on a plane. And she wished, so many times on the lead up to the trip that she could be healthy, so they could just run away.

I don't care if it's 83 or 91,
all I care's about the secret the smiles
and setting suns,
Just don't leave me
when we're just begun,

Is this the thrill? Of course it is,
it's hard to stay so positive
and then you touch me,
You smile I smile you call me cute,
you like it how I say beautiful,
and then you brush past me,

And while they were in Amsterdam, everything changed. Maybe it was the thrill of being in another country, the joy of not being watched continuously by everyone they knew, but somehow they were drawn closer together. She struggled to smile through it all, especially after meeting Van Houten, but he was there to hold her up, until one day when he was quiet.

You've had ya doubts and I've had mine,
I told you just to take your time,
you said that you loved me,
I don't want you to hurt you heart,
it can't be healed by shooting stars,
but you can trust me,

He told her he didn't think it was a good idea, that she would only get hurt more. That he didn't want her to have to loose him just after they had found each other, but she countered it every time. She already had him, she would already loose him. They needed these last few weeks, those precious moments they had, there wasn't many of them. They needed each other, and he could always trust her.

I don't care if it's 83 or 91,
all I care's about the secret the smiles
and setting suns,
Just don't leave me
when we're just begun,

There'll be thunder and there'll be rain,
there'll be smiles and there'll be pain,
Whatever decision you will make,
I will wait and I will stay because,
We're tailor made to swiftly take our time,
the glue that keeps the world together now,
We're two of a kind, just don't leave me behind,

There was the bad days, and the good days. Some days it felt like they would live forever, other days like the end was right upon them. Those last few days seemed to drag on for a lifetime, the infinities stretching into the distance but reduced down, so agonisingly slowly. Until slowly, surely, he passed into the oblivion.

I don't care if it's 83 or 91,
all I care's about the secret the smiles
and setting suns,
Just don't leave me
when we're just begun.

Hazel Grace Lancaster passed quietly in her sleep two months after Augustus Waters. Some infinities are bigger than other infinites, but without him by her side infinity was just too much to take.

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