Shotgun Kiss
By AvidAkiraReader
Disclaimer: I do not own the contest this is for, the character I have used, or anything you recognize. But, as a wise person said…Why write a disclaimer for a fanfiction when you clearly don't own what you are writing for? I also do not own 'The Contest For Those Left Behind', which this little fiction is for.
Author's note: The stage is Final Destination, all items are on (albeit they appear less often) and Wolf and Fox have three lives. Lucky number three…Shotgun Kiss is the title of an F-Zero theme and the genre is admittedly strange. The flashbacks are not connected, and I think only one of them is actually based on the canon. Dialogue is created by me, thanks much. Did I mention I HATE researching some characters and their games?
How the mighty have fallen, Wolf mused.
Once, he was a formidable rival to Star Fox's crew; a competent commander to his own. Now, he was reduced to fighting in controlled circumstances without his Wolfen. What was ironic to him (and how arrogant and pompous he used to be before all this) was that Wolf had scoffed at Leon Polwaski's snide remark about how he would never be drafted (more like dragged) into those fighting tournaments Star Fox was usually invited in.
Because really, Leon had only heard that after the second event Fox and Falco had been invited to.
And he hated to admit, he was a little envious the hosts only invited Fox and Falco.
The only relief he had gotten, along with Leon, was that Falco Lombardi ("Annoying bird!") hadn't been invited to this fighting festival either, despite being in the tournament. Lombardi was pulled into this instead of being invited, by a certain monkey.
Wolf twisted his body to avoid a heavy kick from Fox's boot, and retaliated with his blaster in close range. The serrated blade did minor damage, to Wolf's utter dismay. The single blue shot that came out of the blaster however, did quite a bit more. Master Hand, or Crea he liked to call him insultingly, had limited him to single shots with his blaster, and less damage with the blade.
The nicer part was that he was still taller than Fox.
And the bird.
Reflecting back on how he had actually 'joined' the tournament (which was really more hectic during meals and evenings) Wolf inwardly wished he was back with his crew again. He reflected Fox's blaster shots on reflex, and then snarled at Crea's stupidity of ruining his repertoire of moves so he wouldn't be over powered.
'Over powered my Landmaster!' Wolf angrily thought. He lashed out with a claw.
Speaking of the Landmaster, Wolf knew he had to readjust a few wires to fix a little glitch; a memory springing up to his mind, unbidden.
-o-
"No, the wire goes there you blasted piece of cat dung!"
"Shaadup! The red one goes there, and the blue wire goes there!"
"Both of you shut the heck up for all of Corneria's fuel tanks!" Wolf howled at them, his short patience already shorted by his frustrations. The miniscule crew Wolf commanded had diminished when he had fired Pigma Dengar; Andrew and Krystal had left. But for all of Caroso and Polwaski's horrible jokes, Wolf knew that he could really rely on them if he was in a tight spot.
"Alright. Jeez, what happened to your fuses?"
"Eh, he probably wants to go bounty hunting/ killing again. It's that time of the month…"
"Would you shut up?"
-o-
Wolf was kicked in the jaw by Fox's boot, and was flung back to the edge of Final Destination's stage. Scrabbling wildly, the canine dug his claw into the floating platform with bared teeth. Spotting Fox running at him (no doubt to kick him far, far away) Wolf heaved himself up with a grimace. Rolling himself behind McCloud, Wolf kicked him hard at the tail.
On instinct he turned to his comm. to tell Leon and Panther about his small victory.
Ksshhhrht!
With a brief look of dismay, Wolf looked disappointedly through the mechanical eye-piece.
That brief moment of negativity costed him to be kicked back to the edge again, where he frantically used a Fire Wolf (terrible name, he once remarked to Snake, a friend he made simply by playing a shooting arcade game with him. Crea apparently enjoyed giving misnomers to animals) to get back.
Again he tried to use his comm. right when he remembered why exactly it wouldn't work, along with his other vehicles. It was right before he entered the tournament, actually.
-o-
"Leon! I've got friggin' Slippy on my tail here! Get 'im!" Wolf roughly steered his Wolfen to the left, and dipped the nose sharply downwards in the vast world of space. Taking a swift glance behind him, he could still see the nervous face the amphibian had plastered on.
"Getting the little toad!" Leon retorted just as fast, as shots flew by Wolf.
"Leeeeeon, I see Krystal." His voice pitched into a worried tone, because whenever Panther saw Krystal…
"Krystal?" Panther's low tenor barged in the conversation, just when Wolf sped upwards to shoot Slippy's wing, eliciting a cry of dismay from the green (in more ways than one) mechanic. The feline slipped into his love speech, once again trying to woo the purple vulpine either to him or Star Wolf.
(And Wolf desperately hoped it was the latter because he didn't have the time, or the heart, to listen to Panther's speeches. The wooing back Krystal thing was a new thing, but Panther seemed to think if Krystal was left behind from those fighting festivals, she was weaker to his advances.)
He could see the signature rose symbol on Panther's Wolfen already, and Wolf started to mentally wish for a way out.
"Kryst—kshrrrt!" Wolf's purple eye blinked once, then twice at the audio receptor in front of him. He uttered a low curse, and thumped it loud with his right paw. Then he tried his comm. Static hissed at him; and Wolf mumbled an obscenity at Slippy and deadpanned:
"Oh…crud that ain't good."
-o-
As Fox dashed over to him, Wolf made sure he sidestepped it before pulling the trigger on his blaster. He shot wildly, sometimes scoring a hit, often missing. But he snickered at Fox's failed attempts to get close to him, and Fire Wolf'd him again.
Out of the three remaining Star Wolf's crew, two actually enjoyed shooting their guns at anything that moved or annoyed them (except at themselves, or else Wolf would fire them…in the job sense) and the other just preferred to actually score a direct hit on things.
Wolf was launched back by an infuriated and disgruntled Fox's own Fire Fox. With his fur lightly charred, Wolf decided to sidestep Fox's next charge and finally kick him out of the stage with his foot. With a howl, he taunted Fox's spinning form, far off in the distance.
-o-
"Wolf, Stone is going 'round the corner. Permission to shoot?" Leon's eager rasp made Wolf sigh a little. The lizard was entirely too trigger-happy, despite him wishing for peace when the team made enough money to get drunk and spill secrets like a fountain. The grey wolf looked at the corner with amethyst colored eyes, and spotted the black furred mole with a shifty look in his black eyes. They were at the shady side of Corneria, and the three mercenaries (AKA bounty hunters) were out…hunting for money.
"Permission grant—"
"OH MY FREAKING GOD! AHHHH!" a pedestrian screamed as blood splattered all over in front of her. The lifeless body was ruthlessly pulled back by a dark purple paw and frisked at for spare change. Blood leaked from the middle of its forehead. The pedestrian, a female peacock, started to run away.
Wolf coughed at the scream, then pointedly looked up at shadow with no body next to him. "Leon, may I advise you to NOT assassinate someone in broad daylight?" Leon's haughty look crumbled into a little smirk as Wolf climbed up a roof to howl the kill.
It had become a joke among the three comrades. Panther would hunt, Leon would strike, and Wolf would howl their victory on each bounty.
"It's not my fault if the mole decided to land himself on a bounty of $15, 000. Do we get drinks tonight?"
-o-
Wolf, Panther, and Leon had gotten thoroughly 'smashed' that night, and had gone to Leon's apartment in Caspia, a rundown, city filled planet that was supplied by yours truly, (the planet didn't care about their crimes and was refreshingly close to Corneria, thank goodness) to reminiscence about the times when they were all in the academy, albeit Panther being in a different group.
Good ol' stealth and seduction group was perfect for Panther; if he didn't lose focus on other people.
But that was what made Caroso himself, and the other people he stalked (usually felines) gave them information about the next bounty they would get.
Wolf was suddenly staggering back at Fox's sudden boot to his jaw.
So many people thought of Star Wolf as the 'bad guys'.
And it was true in some ways.
But bad guys were going to realize one day, in one sudden stroke that they were acting like monsters. And to repent for their mistakes, they would do something horribly stupid, and end up dying. Unlike Star Wolf.
They took a hidden pride at exterminating dangerous kills, with Wolf's excuse that they liked killing.
In secret though, they enjoyed having the praise unknowingly given to them for murdering a dangerous fellow.
Originally, they were a mercenary group that was hired by Andross.
Now they were (and will be, Wolf vowed) a bounty hunting group, that (unfortunately) would try quit killing Star Fox's team.
Wolf darted away from Fox's next, savage kick, and ruthlessly pulled out his blaster again, shooting him in a curious spot.
He shot at Fox's wide green eyes, and with a glum realization, Wolf knew it wouldn't even add a bit of percentage of damage. His purple eye caught a glimpse on Fox's wrist, where a damage meter showed a rather low percentage. Glancing at his own, Wolf made a face and shot Fox again before flipping back…
Straight into an exploding Deku Nut. Blasted into unconsciousness for a few seconds, Wolf was thrown into a short memory that held a laugh.
-o-
"Whoa! What the heck was that?" Wolf's frantic eyes scoured Sargasso's surroundings in space with a wariness that didn't usually spring up. A beam had shot by him a minute ago…
Sargasso Space Zone was his territory, and the inhabitants there were under his authority. The team (with the newly introduced Panther) had received a distress call from the soldiers—
"Lord O'Donnell, what's going on?" Leon's clipped tone cut the heavy atmosphere, and Wolf replied with a scathing look at the lizard.
"Obviously an attack but who would even dare…" They heard a yowl from Panther, and Wolf hastily comm'd him. :What's going on?: Panther answered aloud.
"Got shot by a blue parrot! And— Oh…wow…" Panther's sudden dreamy tone was not lost on his wingmates.
"What do you mean 'wow'?" Wolf demanded irritably to the audio receptor. Next to it, a screen held three pictures of their Wolfens and their fuel tanks.
Leon's snide voice reached his ears and the canine flushed when he heard Panther's antics in his Wolfen. He wasn't quite close enough to see him, unlike Leon who was flying right next to the feline. "He's seen Fox's new girlfriend and he's begun to make flirty noises. Did I add he's trying to lip sync to a love song?"
-o-
Recovering quickly, Wolf found himself flying through the air downwards, most likely Fox's fault, and bit his lip at the supernatural sensation that always came with flying out of bounds and being saved from endless falling by a flying temporary platform. Brought back up, Wolf descended from it to snatch up a Poke ball and fling it at Fox to distract him for a second.
A Piplup popped out of the red and white ball to look directly at Fox for one second before rampaging towards him with a wave in front of it.
Fox easily sidestepped it before snatching up a hammer, going into maniac mode. Tensing, Wolf slid backwards, not wanting to get hit by the hammer wielding idiot.
It would not be good for his ego when he recounted all the brawls to Leon and Panther when this would be over. He could imagine all the coarse laughter and embarrassment he would receive from his comrades.
Leaping over Fox's head easily, Wolf could see maniac mode was taking its toll on Fox's body. He had realized long ago that you couldn't intimidate your opponent into quitting, and if you did…it wasn't quite as popular with the 'good' guys as it was with the 'bad' guys. He had also learned that if you did coerce your opponent into losing, the consequences were messy, but generally funny.
Once he had scared the boy Lucas into quitting, and the result was a fierce BB gun fight with Samus and Ness.
As the hammer finally lost its initial strength, Fox took a momentary breather.
That's when Wolf struck.
-o-
"Panther, what's wrong with your comm.? I've been trying to reach you for the past five minutes for your ship's repairs." Wolf's anxious voice reached a certain feline's ears.
"Nnngh. Hangover…Go 'way."
Wolf stared at the door to Panther's room with slight disapproval. A black rose was somehow scratched into the door right below Caroso's nameplate; messy and looking like a chicken scratch. He sighed deeply, and a determination reached his eyes.
:Leon. Go get the BB gun set you bought a year ago.:
:Oh? What's the occasion?:
:A certain kitty refuses to get out of bed. Would you like to join?:
:Do you need to ask? The frozen or the room temperature ones?:
:Frozen..and bring some ice cold water balloons too…and probably one filled with pink paint…hot pink:
Wolf heard the fast footsteps of Leon Polwaski soon, and observed the black suitcase he had with him. Quietly, Leon handed him a loaded plastic gun and water balloon and Wolf snickered silently. Holding three digits in the air, Wolf nodded to Leon then made the silent countdown to barge in Panther's room.
Three.
Two.
One.
They tackled the door to open it and opened fire on the unsuspecting feline who yowled in surprise.
-o-
Wolf followed his attack with a claw at Fox's chest, and it would've hit if Fox hadn't slid back to Fire Fox him.
Flying back, Wolf spied a Smash Ball popping up in front of him, and he kicked it in midair. Landing on his feet again, he Fire Wolf'd Fox away from it before using Wolf Flash to hit the Smash Ball again. Shattering it on his third try, Wolf smirked at Fox before saying, "We're gonna have fun with this thing." Briefly, Wolf thought back of a time right before he was blown into this fighting festival while inside the complicated controls of his Landmaster.
-o-
Panther reclined on his chair while Leon sat at a bench tinkering with Wolf's machine gun.
"So…I retrieved a blueprint for the new Star Wolf's Landmaster." Panther begun nonchalantly. Wolf raised an eyebrow at his casual statement, and Leon's eyes widened.
" When? And how exactly did you obtain the blueprints...You didn't kill anyone without us did you?" Leon's sudden teasing voice came as a surprise months ago. Now they accepted it and joked with each other all the time.
There were times where Panther and Leon still argued with one another though. Panther replied with a malicious gleam in his eye, "Nah, just a lot of threatening…" He added another thought while furrowing his yellow eyes. "And lots of…blood?" Wolf started to cough and Leon let out a small laugh.
-o-
"Give the cache of food and the fighters, Squeaky. You can give it and live…or just die." Wolf's cold voice shocked the pale silver mouse into silence. A shotgun was pointed at its mouth, and it shone with an unreal brightness.
"Can…can w-we n-not n-n-negotiate this?" Squeaky's voice grated on his eardrums, and Wolf growled. Shoving it closer, Wolf cocked his head to the side when he was comm'd by Leon..
:Found the brig, and whoo, that is one big kitty.: Leon whistle of respect amused the canine.
They had taken refuge on Caspia, a brown planet that paid Wolf and Leon with a home, and food to eat. Home was now a five room, two bathroom, one kitchen apartment that held the mercenaries/ bounty hunters belongings. It was close to Corneria, where bounties tended to hide, so if they needed money, supplies, or if there was a bounty, they just hopped on the next ride for Corneria.
Bounties somehow thought they could lose themselves in crowds of people. Recently they had taken Sargasso as their own, but only a few thugs stayed on it, Wolf and Leon giving them enough food for a lifetime or two.
Back to the subject at hand.
:Oh? Describe him.:
:He's a dark purple panther, got a nice long white scar on his right cheek, yellow eyes.:
:Ah, Caroso.:
:You know him?:
:He was in the Academy…one year behind us...remember the little cat that was bragging to all his friends on how he got in the ah…'stealth' classes?:
:Oh. The one I wanted to stew for trying to scratch me?:
Wolf blinked his one purple eye and then glared through it at the mouse who was trying to squirm away. "Now now…didn't your parents ever teach you to stay still while the adults are talking?" He purred, and then returned to his conversation.
:Yeah. He mentally okay? I heard Squeaky here likes to tickle torture his prisoners.:
:Tickle torture? Hm, seems like that kind of…unorthodox torture hasn't injured—I take that back. He's been flirting a lot with the females in the next brig. Can we take them to Sargasso?:
:Hm. Give 'im a comm.. I want to see how he acts…Did you find the cargo hold? And yeah, we'll take 'em to Sargasso. Just remind me I needa drop off more supplies there.:
:Yeah yeah, you gonna kill Squeaky?:
Wolf shut off his comm. abruptly he grinned a lazy smile at Squeaky who had begun gibbering. Aiming just right, Wolf shot the mouse in the jaw, then right between the eyes, letting blood spurt forth like a water fountain.
-o-
Leon was a year older than Wolf, but it didn't stop them from having the same classes.
"Hey, you heard the rumors lately?" Leon prodded a young Wolf with a sneaky look in his eyes during a lecture about overpopulated planets and such.
Slowly, Wolf replied after looking suspiciously at the teacher, "No, why?"
"Well, they say that the weapons room is being locked and that students have been suicidal lately from peer pressure and from failing a few exams." Leon grinned at the sudden spark of interest in Wolf's purple eyes.
Being thirteen had its perks, Leon admitted once.
"How?" Wolf blinked once, total innocence and naivety shining. Leon looked like he was divulging a huge secret.
"Rumors have it by saying they point a gun at the mouth, and shoot. Some say that they get other people to use a shotgun…Once in the mouth, once in the forehead." Wolf reeled back at the absurdity.
"Why in Corneria would they use a shotgun?"
"Sounds nicer, I suppose."
"That totally doesn't make sense."
"Huh. What do they call it?"
"I don't really know. Wanna make one up one day?"
"Yeah…how 'bout…'Shotgun Kiss'?"
-o-
THE END.
-o-
Author's note continued: So ends a perfectly good idea that has been mutilated into this. A few notes:
1. Wolf was not always ruthless; he was quite polite in Star Fox 64.
2. Leon is officially thirty-one according to the Wiki, and Wolf is thirty. Panther's age remains unknown which is why I took the liberty of making him twenty-nine.
3. I dislike it when they don't show how people met.
4. Shotgun Kiss is a weird name, but I liked it.
5. Caspia (the run down city), Stone (the mole), and Squeaky belong to me. If they do exist...disregard what I just said.
6. Any more questions ye would like to ask?