My dearest Toby,
I'm dead, yet I'm still here.
I'm not sure how this happened, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm dead. Something about being dead gives you some sort of power, I think. Everyone knows that I'm gone, but nobody knows that I'm still here. Does that scare you, Toby? To know that I can still see everything you're doing? You're not the reason I'm dead, though. My intentions aren't to scare you. I'm going to guess that I'm still wandering around Rosewood in order to protect my friends and, surprisingly enough, you. I'm still confused as to how we ended up together, you know? Is it bad if I say I understand why you did all of this to my friends and me? I'm not a big enough coward to put all the blame on Alison DiLaurentis, no matter how much I want to. Every single thing we put you through was under our control, and you have every right to hate us. Alison didn't force us to do anything—she was only human. A shitty one, but still human. I guess I could say that I'm not surprised you're working with Mona and the rest of the –A team. I know there are more of you; you don't have me fooled for a second. Odd that I say that, huh? Considering the fact you had me fooled for over a year. I guess it brings some reality to the film Sleeping With the Enemy. Oh, and remember how things were nice after Mona was locked up? We all had a feeling we'd finally be at peace with ourselves and content with everything going on. Then there was that other text from –A. Do you know what one I'm talking about, Toby? The one that said "show me your boobs." Was that you, I wonder? Did you get what you asked for? I'm pretty sure you did.
But all of that is beside the point. I know you're mourning my death, and the Alison part of me is getting a kick out of it. You went through all this trouble to torture my friends and me, but now you're mourning over the death of one of the people you tortured. I find that to be rather ironic, don't you think? A part of me always wondered if you were sticking to your word about finding out what was going on and to do so, you joined the –A team. I had so much hope for us. You're the only man that I've ever loved. Maybe my friends were right—I would be much better as a lesbian. None of my relationships have ever worked out well for me. It's funny how all this time I thought you were the realest person around when you're actually the most deceitful. Everything I've done was to protect you and keep our relationship intact. Without you, I've gone crazy. Maybe that's why I'm dead? Or maybe it's my secrets that killed me.
You look really good in your black hoodie. So mysterious. With my help, my friends will be one step ahead of you. I can see you watching Aria right now. You're thinking of what's on your schedule to do next. But you're still mourning. I've noticed the past few days that I've been here that you haven't met with any –A members, at least the ones I know of. Is it because you're still mourning? Or you're planning your biggest threat next? Who's head –A, I wonder. It's strange that even while I'm at free will to wonder anywhere I please, I'm still not able to see you and… we'll call the head –A 'Red Coat.' Does that sound okay to you? I've seen her—we've all seen her. Or him. If it's a guy, let him know that I think he pulls off the red coat extremely well.
Keep in mind that I'll be watching…
Love always,
Spencer