Disclaimer : I do not own either Inuyasha or the song "Ma Memoire sale" which is part of "Les chansons d'amour" soundtrack.
Ma mémoire sale
Lave
Ma mémoire sale dans ce fleuve de boue,
Du bout de ta langue nettoie moi partout,
Et ne laisse pas la moindre trace
De tout
Ce qui me lie et qui me lasse
Hélas!
Chasse,
Traque la en moi, ce n'est qu'en moi qu'elle vit,
Et lorsque tu la tiendras au bout de ton fusil,
N'écoute pas si elle t'implore,
Tu sais
Qu'elle doit mourir d'une deuxième mort
Alors,
Tue la... encore.
My dirty memory
Wash
My dirty memory in this river of mud,
From the tip of your tongue clean me everywhere,
And don't leave the smallest trace
Of all
That binds me and tires me
Alas!
Hunt
Track her down in me, it is only in me that she lives,
And when you have her at the point of your rifle,
Do not listen if she begs you,
You know
That she must die a second death
Then,
Kill her...again.
Frantic hands searched flesh, nails dragged skin as she smashed his body against that old painting that the last tenant had left on her rented house.
Her warmth consumed his body, his hard muscles tightening while straightening her against him harshly, his lips covering hers with unconcealed demand and despair. It was autumn and night, the clothes were plenty but it didn't take plenty of time for him to rip her off of that long blue coat and envelop her in his arms instead.
She gasped loudly and drew a hissing breath near his ear. He shivered wholeheartedly and pulled her further to him, hiding his face in the crook of her neck as her hands searched for him, even if he was just beneath them. His hips undulated against her flat stomach and whined loudly, biting her, scratching her skin under her camisole like she was doing under his cardigan.
There wasn't a noise besides their struggling breaths and the thuds of their bodies crashing against the walls on the way to the bedroom. Fisting his long locks of pitch black hair she exposed his neck and licked it, following a trail to his lips, her legs hugged his waist, and he walked faster.
So what if her sister had died a mere two months ago? So what if he hadn't found console in anywhere else but in Kagome's arms? So what if he felt so remorseful and guilty because mainly he wasn't happy with her sister anymore, even though he loved her? So what if she was her sister?
It didn't matter, it didn't matter, none of that did anymore.
Throwing her onto the bed, he stood there, shaking as he watched her roll on her body and watch him panting, also, shivering, also, but staring at him with those darkened grey eyes, claws extending forward like a demonness as she kneeled on the bed with the serious expression she always wore for this and pulled the camisole over her head, leaving her in a light salmon laced bra. Her whitish skin appealing to him as he reached for her insane with lust, kissing her abdomen, as she maneuvered herself onto the sheets again, caressing his head sweetly, drawing him further to her, as his hands reached for her hips. Eventually finding a haven between her still clothed legs, his chapped lips reached her gouge nipping it aggressively.
"Inuyasha..."
Her reluctant voice and her closed eyes, the way her hands had suddenly fallen to frame her body on the white sheets of his bed made him retract from her immediately, sitting on the side of the bed, offering her his back.
Damn her and her conscience attacks.
This had been going on for a while now.
He and Kagome had become friends since he and Kikyo met. He loved his wife, had loved her so much, but he had never been able to see Kagome as his younger sister as she was Kikyo's. No, she had always been a beautiful and interesting woman, who actually even shared some of his interest if not his most of his opinions. They had always bickered but they had been good friends, and he had never crossed the line of the platonic, she was merely a very good friend who he admitted was a fabulous woman. And he loved Kikyo, he had been so happy with her in the first three years, but most recently it had begun to wane, slowly but surely while he had never stopped loving her – not to today – happiness had begun to escape them.
When she died he pondered all the what ifs incessantly, what he could have done to solve them, what had they done wrong, what had he done wrong, had she known he loved her as much as he did? She was a good woman, Kikyo albeit a little nervous and cold sometimes. But he had learned her like that and then...
Nothingness. She was no more, she didn't exist anymore.
And Kagome, she suffered a lot too, grabbing onto the lack of Kikyo as well, mourning for her confident and model.
This had begun as a way of mourning too, a month ago, in the shrine, in depravity when he had gone to visit Kikyo's grave. But they couldn't t help it. A month prior, he had tried to find solace in other's arms, but he could never find it, and there was still a big black hole in his heart, but with Kagome… everything was different with Kagome, it was as if she made him blossom after the withering and vice versa.
It wasn't, however, surprising that she was assaulted by these attacks of conscience, of wrongness from time to time. But damn it, he needed her, he needed her now.
Trying to control the stiffness of his body, he buried his face in his hands.
Silence ensued until he felt the mattress shifting behind him and felt her arms envelop him caringly, tenderly as she kissed his neck and shoulder.
"I'm sorry"
"You make me feel so guilty. As if this is dirty."
"It is, it is dirty, and it's our way to deal with her death. But I'm okay with that, with both of us in the dirt."
Her hands roamed his chest as her body adapted to the form of his warm back. Now it was her, straightening him to her, whispering sweetly in his ear how much she wanted him.
Turning to her, now reassured of her will, he captured her lips in a sweet chaste kiss that quickly evolved to dirt. And they both rejoiced in it. Her tongue searched his frenetically, she had a gift with that tongue, and as she abandoned his lips and laved his flesh with its attentions, he prayed to whatever entity that kept them here, stuck in here, that she would wash Kikyo away from his memory because she was the only one who could do it even if it was in a river of mud. He willed her to hunt for the despair in him that stranded him in such sadness each day because of Kikyo's demise, because she was the only one who could.
And he knew his body, as her did for him, also washed away the pain.
"Kill her. Again."
Pleure!
Je l'ai fait avant toi et ça ne sert à rien,
A quoi bon les sanglots inonder les coussins?
J'ai essayé, j'ai essayé
Mais j'ai
Le coeur sec et les yeux gonflés
Mais j'ai
Le coeur sec et les yeux gonflés
Cry!
I did it before you and there's no use,
What's the point of flooding the cushions with sobs?
I've tried, I've tried
But my
Heart is dry and my eyes are swollen
But my
Heart is dry and my eyes are swollen
His voice moaned alone, with no command as she held him tight against her bosom, the petit strength of her body wrapping in a blanket of anxious, anguished longing that smelled of lemon faintly. Kagome's eyes brightened, her eyes staring from above as she straddled his waist, she bit her bottom lip and held a sob, escaping his arms and sobbing loudly onto her forearm, two tears escaping her eyes, shut tightly as the intensity rocked her body.
He wondered what was the emotion behind those tears, but by divesting himself from the hassle of his cardigan and wife beater, he found himself already reaching for her, the expanse of his warm body encompassing her lean back, his hands, manly and rough sought her already struggling arms and reuniting them with her pale body he pulled her to him, lulling her in soft words.
"It's no use, it's no use. I've cried too" kissing her cheek sweetly he released one of her now submitted arms to caress both of them softly. His lips searched her throat again, his hands reaching for hers, intertwining their fingers and kissing the junction of their left hands innocently.
"It'll make it all better. I promise" she let out a strangled noise as if no longer containing the uncontainable and threw her nimble pale hands around him, kissing him frantically, trapping his bottom lip between her own petal appendages. He wondered very briefly why did she was peach flavored before he was engulfed by the sounds of her hands unbuckling his belts and pulling it through the loops whipping it to the floor.
Also busying his hands with her dark jeans, he pulled them off of her, by kneeling between her legs and dragging the underwear along with it also. The image of her all white and dark long hair spread in his bed sheets made him shiver and he made his hands track the smoothness of her long legs as he returned to her. She turned them around and repeated the gesture almost solemnly.
When his body covered hers, he nudged her legs further apart after luckily discovering the clasp of her bra was in the front, and his large hand encompassed one of her generous breast firmly, pinching it at the puckered skin, making her contort with pleasure. Tugging his boxers down, Kagome massaged his length dangerously slow, positioning him at the gate for atonement, pleading with him to take her in him with him and to him.
When they joined, his flesh was smothered and drowned by hers, and they found belonging in each other's arms, because they could never belong anywhere else if heaven was right here, caressing her cheek heatedly he kissed her again and again until he was swallowing her cries of ultimate pleasure and putting his own into her mouth which greedily took them too.
Spent but satisfied they waited for dawn.
Even though he couldn't even think about forever, he hardly could think of an end either. He had the notion that between him and Kagome new words should be formed to be traded, as to not offend their morals already so undermined by their dirty river of mud.
There were no words for what they had, but there was no end to the vastness of it either, he thought, cursing the tightening in his heart that told him just how hurtful it would be to be… kagomeless…
She was his temple where he washed himself even if this was dirty, they washed each other, of each other's pain and suddenly, the pain faded and it didn't hurt so much because they had each other and nothing in the world seemed quite so dark.
Not with the smile she bestowed upon him as she caressed his chin, brought him down from his bemusement of admiring her and kissed him very slowly, palming his cheeks in her sweet small hands, pulling his body to him.
Alors brûle!
Brûle quand tu t'enlises dans mon grand lit de glace
Mon lit comme une banquise qui fond quand tu m'enlaces
Plus rien n'est triste
Plus rien n'est grave
Si j'ai...
Ton corps comme un torrent de lave
Ma mémoire sale dans son fleuve de boue
Lave!
Lave!
Ma mémoire sale dans ce fleuve de boue
Lave!
Then burn!
Burn like when you bog yourself in my big bed of ice
My bed as an ice-barrier which melts when you hold me
Nothing is sad anymore
Nothing is serious anymore
If I have...
Your body like a torrent of lava
My dirty memory in your river of mud
Wash!
Wash!
My dirty memory in this river of mud
Wash!
So here I am guys, sorry for being so much time away, but things have been hard on this side of the ocean. Anyways, I love cinema and I just finnished seeing a beautiful and recent french film called "Les chansons d'amour" by Honoré with the awesomeness of Garrel (The Dreamers, Regular lovers...). I strongly recommend for you to listen to Ma Memoire sale at youtube if you hold no prejudice against gay people. this was one of the most beautiful love stories in all its forms (hetero, homosexual and bisexual) ever, making no distinction between them. Its above all a story about finding love again after the lost of a previous one, and so I thought the argument could relate to one of the most basic points in InuyshaKagome realtionship.
If any of you are interested in what a I write, I must confess I've put Absolution on hold and have been working on a rather complex oneshot, with another one already hald started too.