Everything seemed perfect. Jade and Dave have been dating for three months. Jade couldn't be happier with him. She honestly couldn't believe that Dave picked her and stayed with her for this long. He was so cool and badass, everything that she wasn't.
After a night of hanging out and listening to bands that no one has ever heard of but them, Jade was about to leave. But Dave had stopped her and told her to sit down for a sec. She did what she was told.
He sat down next to her and sighed. "Jade," he started, "You're really nice and cute and everything, but... I don't think this is gonna work anymore."
Jade's eyes opened wide and she gasped. "What?" She asked, not believing her dog ears.
"It's just," he said, "I just don't feel that way about you anymore. I think I like someone else more."
She gasped again. "Who? Who is she, and what does she have that I don't?" She asked, angry and needing to know who this girl is.
He cleared his throat. "He, is John." He admitted.
Her mouth dropped open. "You're dumping me for my brother?!" She asked, outraged and hurt.
He shrugged. "Yeah, kinda." He replied. "Sorry, I just can't date a dog, you know?"
She facepalmed. "We've been dating for three months, and I've been part dog this entire time!"
"Oh yeah." He said. He shrugged again. "Well, I'm still breaking up with you. Sorry, Jade." He patted her head and led her outside, then closed the door behind her.
She couldn't believe this. She wasted three months of her time on that douchebag! And he dumps her so that he can be with her brother? Who the hell does that? Who does he think he is?
She ran away as fast as she could, tears streaming down her face. All of his words kept running through her head. "I don't feel that way about you anymore." "I just can't date a dog, you know?" "Sorry, Jade." How could he do this? She thought he loved her! And he just breaks her heart on their three month anniversary? That jerk!
She ran into her room and slammed the door hard behind her, locking herself in. She fell onto her bed, and cried into her pillow. She should've known that he would've done that sooner or later. Dave Strider is Dave Strider, the coolest guy in the universe next to Andrew Hussie. And she's just Jade Harley, a nerdy, dorky, silly girl who's obsessed with gardening and the Squiddles. Why did she even bother dating him when she knew damn well that he was gonna realize that he's too cool for her?
Wiping away her tears, she grabbed her computer and went on iTunes, figuring that music would cheer her up. But of course, the first song that came up was Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade. Not only was this a super sad song, this is also one of the bands that Dave listens to. Jade sniffled, then started sobbing again. Why did Dave have to like John all of a sudden? Why?!
Halfway through the song, she couldn't take much more of it. She quickly changed the song. But the next song was of course, Terrible Things by the same band.
No. No! That's enough! No more Mayday Parade for you, Jade! You're making this a lot worse than it needs to be!
Jade had quickly slammed her laptop shut, but not before a sound came off on her Pesterchum. Someone was messaging her.
She groaned. She really didn't feel like talking to anyone right now, but because of her niceness and curiosity, she opened it back up and looked at her Pesterchum.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG]
CG: JADE, I KNOW THAT YOU'RE PROBABLY PRETTY PISSED OFF AND TALKING TO ME THROUGH PESTERCHUM WOULD BE THE LAST THING YOU WOULD WANT TO DO AT THE MOMENT, BUT CAN YOU STOP MAKING YOURSELF FEEL EVEN WORSE BY LISTENING TO THAT SAD HIPSTER EMO CRAP AND
CG: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK
CG: WHY DID YOU CLOSE YOUR HUSKTOP RIGHT BEFORE MY FEEBLE ATTEMPT AT MAKING YOU STOP CRYING
CG: OKAY THERE WE GO, NOW LISTEN UP, FUCKASS
CG: STOP FUCKING CRYING ABOUT THAT INSUFFERABLE PRICK FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND AND LISTEN TO ME
CG: I'M BEING AS SINCERE AND NICE AS I POSSIBLY CAN WHEN I SAY
CG: STRIDER IS A FUCKING SELF-ABSORBED DOUCHENOZZLE WHO IS AND WAS NEVER WORTH A MILLISECOND OF YOUR TIME
CG: DON'T WASTE ANYMORE OF YOUR TIME CRYING OVER HIM
CG: HE IS A FUCKING EGOTISTICAL IGNORAMUS WHO NEVER REALIZED WHAT HE EVEN HAD
CG: ARE YOU LISTENING?
GG: *sniffles* yeah, im listening :(
CG: GOOD, I COULDN'T TELL BECAUSE I CAN STILL SEE LIQUID COMING OUT OF YOUR STUPID TEAR DUCTS
GG: ugh, its still really annoying how you can actually see everything i do anytime you want!
CG: GET USED TO IT HARLEY, GET FUCKING USED TO IT
GG: :/
CG: ANYWAY, I NEVER LIKED STRIDER AT ALL
CG: I MEAN, PRACTICALLY EVERYONE I'VE EVER MET I'VE HATED WITH A PASSION
CG: AND NO, NOT THAT WAY, BUT STILL
CG: STRIDER IRRITATES THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME, AND HE SHOULD FOR YOU TOO
CG: IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD JUST FORGET ABOUT HIM, AND MOVE ON WITH MY STUPID AND PATHETIC WASTELAND I CALL A LIFE
GG: hey!
CG: SORRY, I WAS TALKING MORE ABOUT ME, NOT YOU
CG: BUT YOU GET MY POINT
GG: i guess youre right
GG: but still... weve been together for three months!
GG: its the longest relationship ive ever been in!
GG: i mean, its also the only relationship ive ever been in, plus he's dave strider, so i guess i shouldve seen it coming :/
CG: YOU DON'T SAY
GG: but still, i thought it was gonna last!
GG: and it really hurts because he made me feel so good and happy about myself
GG: and then he just dumps me for my brother!
GG: like, what the hell! who does that?
CG: STRIDER, APPARENTLY
CG: AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE WOULD EVEN LEAVE YOU FOR EGBERT
CG: AND HAVE *RED* FEELINGS FOR HIM!
CG: IF ANYTHING, HE WOULD MAKE A GREAT KISMESIS
CG: IN FACT, I'M NOT SAYING I WOULD, BUT IF ONE WERE TO ENGAGE IN BLACK ROMANCE WITH HIM, THEY WOULD BE PRETTY DAMN FORTUNATE
CG: I MEAN, WHAT'S NOT TO DESPISE ABOUT HIM, AM I RIGHT?
CG: HE'S JUST SO... REPULSIVE IN EVERY WAY...
GG: uh, that's my brother you're talking about...
CG: I KNOW, BUT
CG: FUCK WHAT DID I EVEN JUST SAY
CG: WE'RE GETTING OFF TOPIC HERE
CG: WHY DID I EVEN TELL YOU THAT
CG: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
GG: jeez, calm down! i won't tell him about how much you hate him
CG: OKAY, GOOD
GG: but im just so mad about how dave did that to me!
GG: he said he just cant date a dog :'(
GG: i mean, as if i can help that!
CG: LIKE I KEEP ON SAYING, HE'S A MAJOR EGOTISTIC DOUCHEBAG
GG: yeah, i just cant believe it took me this long to realize it
GG: god, i am such an idiot! x(
CG: NO NO, YOU ARE NOT THE IDIOT IN THIS SITUATION
CG: STRIDER IS
CG: YOU JUST FELL FOR HIS STUPID TRICKS
GG: yeah, and it takes an idiot to do that
CG: NORMALLY, I WOULD AGREE WITH YOU
GG: see!
CG: HOLD ON, LET ME FINISH
CG: I WOULD NORMALLY AGREE WITH THAT STATEMENT
CG: BUT, YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT
CG: JUST BECAUSE THINGS DIDN'T GO WELL WITH YOU AND STRIDER, DOESN'T MAKE YOU AN IDIOT FOR DATING HIM
CG: IT MAKES STRIDER THE IDIOT FOR LETTING YOU GO AND GOING FOR EGBERT INSTEAD
CG: TRUST ME, I LEARNED THIS THROUGH MY ROM-COMS
GG: *rolls eyes* oh god
CG: BUT SERIOUSLY, NOW THAT YOU ARE DONE WITH THAT SHITTY RELATIONSHIP
CG: YOU CAN MOVE ON
CG: PLUS YOU MOST LIKELY HAVE MORE KNOWLEDGE ABOUT WHAT AND WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE WITH YOUR NEXT PARTNER
CG: BELIEVE ME, THIS IS SCIENCE
GG: wow karkat
GG: didnt think you would actually be able to help me in this kind of situation :p
CG: HEH, YEAH
CG: I JUST FELT LIKE YOU NEEDED SOME CONSOLING AT A TIME LIKE THIS
CG: DON'T GET USED TO IT
GG: well thanks anyway
GG: it really means a lot :)
CG: NO PROBLEM
CG: BUT I THINK THERE'S A WAY TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER THAN THAT
GG: i already kinda feel better
CG: I KNOW BUT EVEN BETTER
GG: really? how? :o
CG: SEE THAT WINDOW RIGHT BEHIND YOU?
GG: uh... yeah?
CG: GET OFF YOUR HUSKTOP AND STICK YOUR HEAD OUT
GG: uhh, why?
CG: DON'T QUESTION IT, JUST FUCKING DO IT.
GG: uh, okay :|
Not knowing where this was going, Jade got off her laptop, opened her window, and looked outside. At first, she saw nothing, just darkness and trees. She sighed. "I don't understand this." She said out loud.
Suddenly, a scratchy, irritated voice cleared it's throat and said, "Down here, dumbass!"
Jade looked down, and couldn't believe what she saw. There, sitting down by a tree, with a husktop sitting between his legs, was Karkat.
She was shocked. "Karkat?!" She asked.
"Who the fuck do you think?" He replied.
She rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Come down here, I wanna talk to you." He said simply.
She nodded, closed the window, and quickly ran downstairs. What was Karkat doing sitting there under that tree? How long has he been there for?
She went outside and met him by the tree. "Hey." She said to him.
He looked at her and nodded. "Hey." He replied.
"Why are you here?" She asked him.
He sighed. "Because, I saw how devastated you looked when Strider broke up with you, and I felt like you needed someone to talk with you about it, but I figured that online wouldn't be helpful enough so here I am. You're fucking welcome."
She raised her eyebrows. "You came here to help me get over my break up? For real?"
He nodded, sighing as he stood up. "Yeah. I feel incredibly lame for doing so, but this is like my good deed for the next few solar sweeps. Trust me, be a smart human girl, and don't get used to it."
She shook her head. "I promise I won't, but this is actually really sweet of you. Thank you." She looked up at him and smiled. He was only about an inch taller than her.
"No problem, Harley." Karkat replied, his face turning a little red for some unknown reason. "So anyway, forget about Strider. He just isn't worth it."
Jade sighed, feeling her eyes tear up. "I know, but I just can't stop thinking about the things he said. He said he can't date someone who's a dog!" She covered her face, not wanting him to see her cry. She knew that he probably saw her crying in her room before, but she didn't care.
Suddenly, she felt two arms come around her and pull her into a hug. Startled, she opened her eyes to see who it was, and to her surprise, it was Karkat. At first, she was confused. Karkat Vantas was hugging her? Karkat hugs people? He even knows what a hug is, and that they exist? But then, she felt happy. Happy that Karkat actually cares. He cared that Jade was hurt. He cared enough to see her in person and hug her. He just cared.
He leaned his head by her ear and said, "That is just fucking cold and shallow. If a guy can't accept you for who you are, then fuck them."
She smiled and hugged him tighter. "Thanks, Karkat." She said. Another tear streamed down her face and soaked into his shirt. This time however, it wasn't of despair; it was of joy.
They pulled away, and Karkat looked at her and groaned. "Would you stop wasting your tears on that fucking Dave Strider?" He asked, getting frustrated.
Jade wiped her nose and shook her head. "I'm not crying because of him anymore." She told him.
He looked confused. "Then why the fuck are you crying?" He asked.
She looked at him and smiled. "Because someone actually cares about me and my feelings, and came over here to help me. And it was you, of all people! You usually hate everyone, but you still care enough to try to make me feel better. I'm touched."
He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I'm just as surprised as you are about all this. I never thought that I would come to a human's aid in their time of need. But, here I am."
Another tear rolled down her cheek. "Thank you. This means so much!" She quickly outstretched her arms and hugged him again.
He jumped backwards and sighed. "Why do you keep hugging me?" He asked.
"Hey, you started it." She replied.
"Well... Yeah, but why are you hugging me this time?"
"Cause you give good hugs!" She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
He rolled his eyes and hesitantly hugged her back. Jade smiled widely. Not only did Karkat give good hugs, but for some strange reason... She felt like they should be more than just friends. What did the trolls call that one quadrant? Matesprits? Yeah, she wanted to be in that with him. She knew it was never gonna happen, considering that troll romance is strictly for trolls, but still... It would be nice...
When they let go again, she still felt tears rolling down her cheeks. This time, it was back to despair, because she knew that Karkat is only there to help her, and he would never want to be in a quadrant with a human. The thought is probably ridiculous and out of the question to him. If he even thought of it at all, that is.
Karkat sighed as he wiped away the tears on Jade's face. "Please just stop fucking crying." He practically begged her.
She sniffled and nodded her head. "I'm trying." She replied, "I really am."
He put a hand on her shoulder. "Just stop. You're gonna be okay. He's just a boy. A stupid, insignificant, teenage earth boy who doesn't know jack shit about anything."
She nodded again, too choked up to say anything back.
He sighed. "Listen, Jade. Don't let him bring you down like that. You're gonna be okay. One day, he'll realize what he's lost. Well, maybe not in a long while, considering how much of a blockhead he actually is, but eventually."
"Oh really?" Jade asked, getting worked up again, "And what exactly has he lost? Nothing! Nothing at all!"
He groaned. "No, he hasn't!" He snapped at her. "He lost a clever, pleasant, friendly, charming, beautiful young human girl who deserves so much better than a self-centered shitsponge like him."
Wait. Did he say what she thought he said? "You think I'm... Beautiful?" She asked, not believing her ears.
He sighed. "As far as human physical appearances and personalities go... Yes. You are."
She quickly hid her face in her hair, not wanting him to see her blush or smile stupidly. He thinks I'm beautiful, she thought.
She heard Karkat complain. "Why do you keep fucking crying?! I just gave you a nice fucking compliment, and you still can't control your tear ducts!"
She quickly moved her hair out of her face and shook her head. "I'm not crying!" She said to him.
He looked at her, and her face was red, but there was no evidence that any new tears came out of her orbs. "Okay, I was wrong. Sorry." He said, "What the hell were you doing, then?"
She sighed. She may as well just tell him the truth. "I was blushing and smiling like an idiot. That's what I was doing." She mentally slapped herself for actually telling him.
He looked surprised. "You were?" He asked.
"Yeah. I was really flattered by what you said, and it made me feel really good about myself. Thanks."
He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head again. "No problem." He replied.
They both stood there quietly for a minute. Jade shyly looked down at her feet, not knowing what else to say.
Karkat suddenly broke the silence. "Hey, Jade?" He said.
She looked up. "What's up, Karkat?" She asked casually.
He cleared his throat again. "I need to tell you something, and I really hope you won't get creeped out when I say it."
She furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean?" She asked.
He sighed and looked down at his feet. "I'm about to tell you something that I've always wanted to tell you, but I never knew how to convey it to you, so please don't think differently of me after I say it, whatever you do."
She tilted her head. "That kinda depends on what it is, but I'll try my best." She said.
He nodded and bit his lip. "Jade Harley," he started.
"Karkat Vantas." Jade replied with a smirk.
He rolled his eyes. "Would you let me fucking finish?!" He asked.
"Okay, okay, jeez." She replied, not expecting him to snap at her like that.
He sighed and bit his lip again. "This isn't easy to say, but... I think... I think I'm flushed for you."
Jade looked at him wide-eyed. "What?" She asked, shocked at what he said.
He groaned. "I'm not fucking saying it again!" He yelled as he started walking away.
"Wait!" She shouted as she grabbed his arm. "Y-you really feel that way about me?" She asked him.
He sighed. "Yes." He said, "And I know that there's no way you would want anything to do with a fucking mutant blooded freak like me, so forget I said that. Please." He tried getting away again, but she stopped him.
"Wait!" She shouted again. "It's okay! I feel that way, too! Honestly!"
He turned around and looked at her, astonished. "Really? You do?" He asked, genuinely surprised.
She nodded. "Yeah! Why would I make that up?" She replied.
He took a few steps closer. "You really feel equally as flushed for me as I am for you?"
She nodded. "I'm pretty sure I do."
"But, what about Strider?" He asked.
She laughed. "Why would I still want that self-centered shitsponge?" She asked.
He gave her a small smile. "You're learning from me." He said.
She shrugged. "Maybe." She said with a smirk.
He wrapped his arms around her. "So I assuming you're over him?" He asked.
She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Absolutely." She replied.
He gave her a genuine smile. "Good." He said.
They stood there like that for about a minute, until Karkat shook his head and said, "Just kiss me already, you fuckass."
Jade smiled and did so without hesitation.
And everything was perfect.