You know who gets kicked in his you know whats.
One day at Hogwarts, a school of witch craft and wizardry, Harry Potter and his best friends forever Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley were walking around talking about how great friends they are (because we all know how friendship and love always stops evil. ALWAYS!) Then out of nowhere Draco Malfoy jumped from behind some bushes and shouted "Oi! Potter, you're a stupid dick!" At that moment Harry turns around and said coolly "No, you sir are a stupid dick." Draco couldn't believe his ears. These allegations were so atrocious that Draco literately shat his own pants and shouted back "No, you're a stupid dick!" "No, you're a stupid dick." replied Harry. Malfoy then became so enraged that he continued to shit his pants until his socks filled up with fecal matter. Now infuriated and smelling like a shitty asshole he shouts "No, you're a stupid dick!" Aroused by the smell of waste Ron then said to everyone "Oh, no. I have a boner." and then Harry said to Draco "No, you're a stupid dick!" Draco then shits his hat and replies "No, you're a stupid dick!" Harry then turns to his best pal Ron and said "Just thank about McGonagall naked that should make your boner go away. Oh, and by the way Malfoy. You're a stupid dick!" Draco then pissed in a whistle and said "No! God damn it! You're a stupid dick!" "Aw man, you made my boner even worse Harry" said Ron "Yeah, and now I have a boner too." said Hermione "No, you're a stupid dick!" Harry said to Draco. At that moment Draco became so angry he exploded. Professor Snape happened to be walking buy dragging the fresh corps of Albus Dumbledore while carrying a shovel. He then casually said "5 points from Gryffindor." Hermione exploded then shat herself and then Ron came. Meanwhile Hagrid sat alone in his hut and cried while masturbating. Harry then said to Snape "Professor! Professor! What happened to Dumbledore?" Snape then said to Harry "He's dead. I killed him." Ron gasped and said "Oh, my God! You killed Dumbledore! You Bastard!" Harry then chimed in "Yeah, you murderer!" "I didn't murder him. This is more like euthanasia, you stupid dick. 100 points from Gryffindor" Snape said while rolling his eyes. Dumbledore then opened his eyes and said "Good Severus, we're away from the castle. Now that you've helped fake my dead we can continue our plans to stop lord Voldemort." Snape then throws Dumbledore to the ground and starts to beat his head in with the shovel while yelling "Stay dead, you old fuck! 50,000 points from Gryffindor!" "Oh, I get it. It all part of a plan." said Harry as a bit of Dumbledore's brain splattered against his glasses. Meanwhile Hagrid hung himself. Then Hermione unexploded (by some how using magic or some shit like that.) and said "My mom says that euthanasia and murder are the same thing, and she know everything because she's a fundamentalist Christian." Harry turned to her and said "Wait, if your mom is a fundamentalist Christian, why did she send you to a school for Satanic witchcraft?" Then the Earth exploded due to illogic.
The End.