A/N We read lots of things Emmett is not allowed to do and decided to make our own list

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight but I do own these ideas

Things that Emmett Cullen is not allowed to do

Skip down the street in a pink shirt singing 'guylove' off 'Scrubs'

Wear Rosalies make-up

Sing 'Barbie Girl'

Wear Alice's new heels to go hunting in

Tell Alice her credit card has expired so she cant go shopping

Give Alice's teddy bear a Hitler moustache and monicle

Crash Alice's Porshe into the police station

Think about what it would be like kissing Bella whilst Edward is in the room

Sing 'if you were gay' down the schoold PDA system and dedicate it to Jasper

Streak, Flash or Strip

Do a gay dance to 'Everybody Dance Now'

Rap

Tell Carlisle that Alice used his credit card to buy a helicopter...

...That she then crashed into the Empire State building

Grow an afro

Wear a tie

Say... biggin it up to the U.K. massive

Carry a white cat and say ' so we meet again whoever you are' to everyone her meets

Say 'I do declare' before everything

Kidnapp the Queen Of Englands Corgies

P.S we do know that vampires cant grow their hair but it would be creepy if Emmett did have an Afro so we put it on.

P.P.S. If you want to know the words to 'If You Were Gay; then here they are...

ROD
Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "Broadway
Musicals of the 1940s."
No roommate to bother me.
How could it get any better than this?

NICKY
Oh,hi Rod!

ROD
Hi Nicky.

NICKY
Hey Rod, you'll never
Guess what happened to
Me on the subway this morning.
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me

ROD
That's very interesting.

NICKY
He was being real friendly,
And I think he was coming on to me.
I think he might've thought I was gay!

ROD
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care.
What did you have for lunch today?

NICKY
Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, Rod...

ROD
I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read.

NICKY
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.

ROD
I don't want to talk about it,
Nicky! This conversation is over!!!

NICKY
Yeah, but...

ROD
OVER!!!

NICKY
Well, okay, but just so you know
IF YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE YOU SEE,
IF IT WERE ME,
I WOULD FEEL FREE
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)

ROD
Nicky, please!
I am trying to read....
What?!

NICKY
IF YOU WERE QUEER

ROD
Ah, Nicky!

NICKY
I'D STILL BE HERE,

ROD
Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.

NICKY
YEAR AFTER YEAR

ROD
Nicky!

NICKY
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR
TO ME,

ROD
Argh!

NICKY
AND I KNOW THAT YOU

ROD
What?

NICKY
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,

ROD
I would?

NICKY
IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,
I'M GAY!"
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
I'M HAPPY
JUST BEING WITH YOU.

ROD
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...

NICKY
SO WHAT SHOULD IT
MATTER TO ME
WHAT YOU DO IN BED
WITH GUYS?

ROD
Nicky, that's GROSS!

NICKY
No it's not!
IF YOU WERE GAY
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!

ROD
I am not listening!

NICKY
AND HERE I'D STAY,

ROD
La la la la la!

NICKY
BUT I WOULDN'T GET
IN YOUR WAY.

ROD
Aaaah!

NICKY
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
TO ALWAYS BE
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,
YOU WERE JUST BORN
THAT WAY,
AND, AS THEY SAY,
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,
YOU'RE GAY!

ROD
BUT I'M NOT GAY!

NICKY
If you were gay.

ROD
Argh!