10 years.

It has been 10 years since I left. 10 years I didn't see her in. 10 years were she never left my mind. She is always in my mind, the way her face twisted and her nose scrunched when she was thinking about something, the glimmer in her eyes when she got an idea , the smile of satisfaction and victory when she won an argument…every detail and memory of her is tattooed in my mind and heart.

Sometimes I wonder how she is doing. Is she happy? Did she move on? Did she found someone who can keep her safe and protected? Although it pains me to think about it but it is the truth. She is human and humans change, along with their feelings.

I just wish she found someone who is worthy of her not someone who is as shallow as Mike Newton or Taylor Crowley.

Through the years I thought about checking on her but I always decided against it since I knew that the moment I would lay an eye on her I would crumble, get on my knees and beg her to take me back .I was so willing to do it if this was what it would take for her to take me back but by this I would take from her any chance of being normal and I couldn't do that to her.

As for my family I saw them from time to time, Esme kept begging me to go with them but I just couldn't go back and see every one with their mate except me. It didn't bother me that much before but after Bella it would just be too much pain and not only for me but all of my family especially Jasper.

I was pulled away from my thoughts by a ring on my phone….of course it would be Alice.

I picked it up "Hi Alice" I greeted here.

"Hi Edward, How are you doing?"

"Like you wouldn't know"

"You are right but still it's polite to ask and it would be appreciated if you answered without arguing, you know!"

Of course…she is Alice she just can't get over it without a lecture.

I sighed and answered "I am as fine as I can be….Happy?"

"Indeed" there was something she wanted to say but she was hesitant, I could sense it she was stalling.

"What is it Alice?" I asked finally.

I heard her sigh from the other line, I didn't like that it mean that she would take about something that I wouldn't like.

"I wanted to talk to you about something"

"Yeah?" I mocked "I sensed that"

"Okay listen and don't interrupt until I am done."

Oh No!

"Fine" I said unwillingly.

"It has been 10 years Edward , please just let go back to fo..."

"Alice you know I can't "

"HEY! I said no interrupting"

"Alice….."

"just hear me out, she is not even there anymore she moved out 6 years ago Edward, Charlie is dead and everyone is either out of town or among the dead , please Edward I want to go back to Forks and we miss you so much brother, we really do"

I knew I hurt my family when I went on my own put it was just too hard, then something Alice said sank in.

"She moved out?" I asked?

"Yes, Edward she did. I don't know the details because SOMEONE refused to let me check on her but yeah that's what I heard when I asked "

Why was I disappointed? I knew this would happen sooner or later, actually she moved out late because she was supposed to leave town after high school but she stayed three extra years, I wonder why is that? When I didn't answer Alice started begging me again.

I didn't know what to do, should I go back to the town where I met her or should I stay here and hurt my family more than they already is? Before I could tell her my answer I heard a squeal….Alice

"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHAKYOU" she rambled. Her words were too fast that a human's ear wouldn't follow….BELLA

"Alice calm down"

"Okay, we will be there in three days, come as fast as you can I miss you so much Eddie" I groaned, she knew I hated that stupid name that Emmet usually called me by it.

"Okay, Alice" I answered

"See you soon brother, love you" and by that she ended the call.

I was scared of what was coming.

Can I do this? Can I go to the same place she went? Places that would trigger memories, not like I didn't think about her every second of every single day.

I think I can as long as I know that she is out there somewhere happy, safe and maybe even a mother with a family that loves her.

I got to my feet and decided that I would go out on a hunting trip, I honestly didn't remember the last name I hunted , I got out of my place and ran into the woods.