She knew it wasn't going to be easy… how could possibly be? But she had spent the whole day gathering the courage to do this, so she had to, she had to cause despite what it might look like, she was no coward and really, it was just a matter of time.
She knew it was a matter of time before a girl completely blew her mind, completely drove her crazy till pretending was not a suitable option anymore…
But out of all girls on earth why it had to be this one? - She thought to herself…
She didn't really knew much of her, which didn't made her exactly proud, she was no prude but having wild sex all night with someone she barely knew wasn't exactly something to be proud of on her book, but lately she wasn't sure anymore of what made her proud and what didn't…
She had seen her before in the halls; the way she walked, the way she talked… so full of confidence, so sure of who she was, of what she wanted, it was scary and appealing at once, it was something that she desperately wanted to posses, but was so scare to become a slave of, she couldn't help to look… to admire from afar the fascinating creature this girl seemed to be, It really didn't hurt anybody, probably just herself… longing so badly for someone, yeah, it couldn't be healthy.
So she couldn't really help to look over her shoulder that day on class, and really it was so worthy, there she was, this wild creature with such a dreamy look on her face, it was like looking at some magnificent and powerful beast just resting… just looking at the immensity in front of her.
Suddenly she found herself locking eyes with her and just like everything about this girl, it was awesome and scary, it sent shivers down her spine, it was so powerful that draw a smile on her face… and the note? The note was scary; just 2 words were terrifying because they were a challenge… "Northern soul" was a dare, a door she always wanted to open, she knew where it was and what kind of people she could find there… she had often fantasize about going in there, finding somebody… but like most of her fantasies she just kept the idea on her head, like a liberating thought at night… till she made it a real possibility, and that, that was something to be really scare of.
Thinking too much, yeah that was one her main problems, pondering the consequences of her actions, analyzing the facts over and over... and that time was no different, she doesn't like to think that her heart won that battle cause really? That would be cheesy as fuck and she is not like that, no, she tells her self that her instincts won that time, her desire to posses that wild creature… to posses her.
And that night? She doesn't even likes to think about it… no, not because she didn't like it no, she even wishes it was because of that, it was really cause the memory was so fresh on her mind that it didn't really took much effort to imagine her hands on her body again… her skin on her skin… her mouth … her mouth…
It made her uncomfortable… paranoid… as if people could see what she was thinking, what she wanted… and she wanted her, again, and now if she wanted her even more it was all her fault…
When she was a kid she loved to climb trees, the higher the better, she used to think that up there she was completely safe, that up there she could always be herself no matter what, up there she could marry two of her Barbie dolls with each other without anyone telling her it was wrong, she could talk to her stuffed animals without other kids making fun of her, she could confide to her teddy bear all of her secrets, like how she thought that the daughter of her mom's friend was the prettiest girl she had ever seen… she liked to see everything, everyone below her.
One time when she was 7 this horrid kid Billy, dared her to climb this one tree, a really tall and difficult to climb tree, and really she was about giving up, she was about to convince herself that it wasn't really that she couldn't climb the tree, it just wasn't worth to take the risk of falling from such a high tree, but then Billy, horrid and stupid Billy called her coward, he call her scaredy cat… and that really pisses her off, so naturally she climbed, what he said didn't made any easier for her climbing the tree, but it did made her want it more.
So when she called her scaredy cat, when she told her she didn't wanted a relationship cause nobody matched up to her… cause she didn't matched up to her, it really really pissed her off , and it really really made her want her even more.
"Fuck you Tea, fuck you"- became the most recurrent thought on her mind after that little confrontation, because as hard to believe as it is, Betty was kind of ready to let go of Tea… after all the pondering and questioning, Betty had decided to let go… she somehow decided that Tea and her were to different from each other to ever be together, that being with Tea was a high risk that wasn't worth to take, she really thought of that as the truth… her truth, but hearing Tea saying that she was no match to her? Really? Who she thought she was? Yes, she initially thought she was some sort of wild creature… yes, she was all sorts of awesome in bed, and yes she was hot as hell… but impossible to match? No fucking way.
She breathed in deeply and took a step forward and felt like some sort of black hole was swallowing her stomach, but she had to show Tea…
She took Tea's face and kissed her, it wasn't really a lusty kiss, but not exactly a chaste one; it was a brave and honest kiss.
- I put my truth on you- was all she said, to then walk away from a very surprised looking Tea.
She had to show Tea that if she thought that nobody matched up to her, the truth was… her truth was that there's no tree that Betty can't climb.