"You don't know?" Paine asked. "How can you not know?" You were right there!"
"No, I said, 'I don't know,'" Yuna said.
"That's what I said," Paine said.
"No, that's what I said."
"Exactly," Paine said.
"No, I mean that's what I said."
"I know, you said you didn't know," Paine said.
"Exactly," Yuna said.
"Well, how can you not know? I mean, you were—"
"No, I SAID that."
"Exactly,"
"My head hurts," Rikku said.
"No, Paine, I said 'I don't know.'"
Brother yawned.
"That's what I said."
"Is this still the same argument?" Buddy asked.
"You want me to start over?" Yuna asked.
"Just tell me what you told him!" Paine said.
"It," Buddy said.
"How would you know?" Brother asked.
Rikku shook her head.
"I told her that I didn't know," Yuna said.
"Oh, then why didn't you say that!" Paine said.
Their audience let out a collective sigh. They were getting bored. For having saved the world from an evil machina hidden away by the church, this was one of the most anti-climactic resolutions ever.
"Do fayth take rain checks?" Paine asked.
"How should I know?"
"You saved them twice!" Paine said.
"This is why I'm an atheist," Rikku muttered. The rest of the Al Behd nodded. "Can we start over?"
Everyone sighed. Some in relief, some in frustration.
"What didn't you understand?" Yuna asked.
"Everything," Rikku said.
"Everything everything?" Paine asked.
"No, just the last five minutes everything," Rikku said.
"When did things stop having short explanations?" Buddy asked.
"When did they stop having explanations at all?" Brother asked. "I'm bored."
"I'm getting there," Yuna said.
"Getting where?" Brother asked.
"Just start over," Paine said.
"Okay," Yuna said. "From where?"
Everyone groaned.
"Now it's everything everything," Rikku said. "My head hurts."
Everyone else agreed.
"Okay, we beat Vegnagun right?" Yuna asked. Finally she was back in familiar territory. It was far to difficult to help someone in a crisis when you had to work on both ends of the conversation, as well as the middle, which she seemed to have presumed already happened. "Then there was the fayth, right?"
"Singular or plural?" Paine asked.
"Just one," Yuna said. "Then she said if I wanted Tidus—"
"Whoa, where'd he come from?" Paine asked.
"The fayth made him. Then she—"
"No, I mean, when did Tidus get into the conversation."
"He wasn't."
"Owwie," Rikku complained, holding her head. Paine was thinking the girl would have a better time with calculus.
"Why were you talking about Tidus in the first place?" Paine asked slowly through gritted teeth.
"The fayth asked if I wanted him back," Yuna answered. She was the only one not bothered by this. What bothered her was that it bothered others for no reason she could see. "I told you?"
"When?" Paine asked.
"When did it happen or when did I mention it?"
"Never mind," Paine said, holding her head. "So what happens if you want Tidus back?"
"We have to take care of him."
"Him who?" Buddy asked. Flying through hail and hitting the errant bird was better than this. And that was when Brother was driving.
"Tidus?" Rikku asked. Rikku was actually smarter than most people thought. Once you got to know her, you realized a lot of Al Behd's had similar circular logic. She was merely more forward, more energetic, and a lot more bouncy than most, which somehow made people think that was connected with her mental processes, similar to thinking a man with a limp is deaf.
"No, Seymour," Yuna said. "I told you, the fayth was his—used to—was formerly—"
"Something like that," Paine summed up, hoping to hear the other half the sentence before it got dark.
"She was his mom."
"That guy has connections everywhere," Buddy said.
Brother fell over. He liked looking at Yuna, but the conversation was a strain on his simple mentality. Whatever happened to 'let's shoot it' or 'I have a plan involving a new skirt?'
"So, you spent two hours telling us we have to babysit some idiot who misses his mommy?"
"Well… yeah… but when you say it makes me sound stupid."
Buddy sighed. He really wanted to get to the end of this. It was hard being the voice of maturity if you left in the middle of the conversation, which was starting to seem like a verbal surreal picture with doorways that lead to upside-down staircases.
"I thought he was dead," Rikku said, displaying her perfect logic, which only sometimes met with common sense, only by colliding headfirst into it.
"He was dead," Paine said.
"He is dead," Yuna corrected.
"Well, that makes that part simpler," Buddy said. He was actually amazed They had gotten through three sentences without having to backtrack to half-an hour ago.
"Couldn't you just say you were sorry?" Paine asked.
"Paine, we can't just give him a present and apologize for hitting him on the head!"
"Hit who?" Rikku asked.
"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Paine complained.
"I volunteer!" Brother said, still lying on the floor.
"No one's doing that," Buddy said.
"No one's doing anything," Paine said. "Why do we have to take care of some suicidal fruitcake?"
"I don't like fruitcake."
"And we're off to a wonderful start," Paine muttered.
"I started hours ago," Yuna said.
"And yet, you haven't finished," Paine said.
"Where was I?" Yuna asked.
Everyone turned toward a strange thumping sound, only to find that it was brother, banging his head on the floor. Most found themselves quite envious at this.
"Well, they're the fayth and they have Tidus, first," Yuna said. " And apparently there's something about Guado magic, which was complicated, but important."
"Let's just stick with that explanation for now," Paine said.
"What's this have to do with us?" Buddy asked.
"Well, the farplane is getting ruined," Yuna said, not really caring herself.
"We don't have to worry about that for decades," Paine said.
"Actually, y'know how there were flowers in one part and everything else was just rocks? There used to be more of those."
"Rocks? Paine asked.
"Flowers?" Rikku asked.
"Yeah," Yuna said, confusing her cousin. Rikku wasn't used to being right about things people said were complicated. "And then there was something about a line of rulers keeping it that way, and keeping the fiends down."
"He's picking all the flowers?" Rikku asked, the paused. "Down where?"
Everyone sighed. The echo sighed.
In Paine's opinion things should be fixed by hitting people on the head, sometimes both parties because they refuse to smarten up. This situation appeared to be completely hit-less and it angered her.
In Rikku's opinion, there were bad things, good things, and broken things. Good things were good, bad things were hit or they exploded, broken things were fixed and then became good things. She wasn't sure if this was bad or broken, and she was pretty sure it wasn't good.
Yuna thought everyone was nice until they did something bad, then they weren't good anymore and had to be dealt with—often permanently. She didn't know the spelling of 'psychology' or 'trauma,' let alone the meaning or significance.
Buddy really had no idea what to do with world-threatening situations, he just believed that there are some people who shouldn't be allowed to speak in certain situations. The problem was, the more he worked with the Gullwings, the more people he thought should be silent. Unfortunately, these people were the ones with the important things to say.
"I don't know," someone said. Everyone agreed.