Merry Christmas, everyone! Yes, even you! People from America to England to Luxembourg to Spain to whatever that country's called, the one north of the US. Merry Christmas! I hope you have a magnificent day!

I know I will! My dear friend Map of the Stars made a youtube video for me for Christmas! That technology is like magic to me, so I'm in absolute awe over it! Check out her youtube account, NotSoUnitedNations!

This is my first Nordic-centric fic, so chances are I'm gonna come back in like a month and HATE it. Hey, future Cro. Sorry I suck. I set up a savings account for you, though. I hope that helps your pain.

Merry Christmas to the readers that aren't me and Happy Hanukkah to everyone else! Enjoy!

"Alright!" Finland called cheerfully from the kitchen. "Who's ready for Gingerbread cookies!"

From the festively decorated living room, the Nordics and the kids groaned.

"You've been cooking all day, Mama," Sealand said, rubbing his stomach. Ladonia nodded and pressed his face into his dominos.

"It's too yummy, Tino!" Denmark moaned from the maroon couch. He fell across Norway and Iceland's laps. "We can't say no!"

"You can't say no," Norway quipped.

"Ye had tw'lve slices 'f fr't cake," Sweden teased from under the tree.

"It doesn't count if you're dipping it in coffee," Norway said.

Finland looked crestfallen. "I'm sorry," he said, fiddling with the edge of his Christmas sweater. "Christmas just gets me so excited! I can't stop myself! Should I take the maksalaatikko out of the oven, then?"

Denmark grinned and stood up, stretching. "Probably! We'll have it tomorrow, casserole always tastes best as leftovers anyway!"

Iceland nudged Norway in the ribs and pointed under the Christmas tree. "The blue box. White ribbon."

"Patience, little brother," Norway said. "You have to wait until tomorrow."

"Come on," Iceland scowled. "You can see what everyone got for you. Just tell me what it looks like."

"Finland yells at me for using that spell," Norway said.

"Yes I do!"

"And he apparently has supersonic hearing. I'm not telling you what everyone got you for Christmas."

Iceland crossed his arms and sat back.

Sealand and Ladonia whispered in each other's ears and giggled. Finland set the plate of gingerbread on the coffee table and sat on the floor next to Sweden. "Boys?" he said. "Why are you whispering? Peter, why do you have your Imperial Face?"

"Nothing, Mama!"

"Nothing, Aunt Tino!"

Finland glared darkly. "Really? Really? Why is everyone so hell-bent on making me look like a woman? I'm a man, darn it!"

Sweden kissed Finland on the forehead. "P'ter, be n'ce t' yer M'ther."

"Berwald!"

"Ready?" Ladonia whispered.

"ATTACK!" Sealand shouted.

Finland yelped and jumped back as Sealand and Ladonia leapt at Sweden. Sweden briefly pretended to wrestle them back.

"Too… p'werf'l," he said, falling to his knee as Ladonia climbed on his back.

Sealand cackled. "The mighty Sweden has fallen before the Sealand-Ladonian alliance! From the sea, interactivity!"

"We need to work on our motto," Ladonia said, struggling to keep Sweden in a headlock.

"What's wrong with our motto?"

Finland laughed happily and Sweden winked at him.

Denmark strode across the room, smirking. He gloated down at Sweden and Sweden's eyes darkened.

"So," Denmark said. "The mighty Sve, brought down by a couple noobs. Kids, you have no idea how many times I've smashed his face into the ground just like that. Haha! You wanna hear about the Battle of Oland, little dudes?"

Sweden's arm flashed out and he tripped Denmark with one swift motion. Denmark yelped as his back thudded onto the floor.

Sealand let out a whoop and jumped on Denmark, tickling him until he squealed.

"Tha's m' boy," Sweden murmured.

Across the room, Iceland nudged Norway. "Tino's not looking. Just one."

Norway sighed and touched his temple. His eyes suddenly flashed.

"You got socks," he said.

Iceland groaned. "I'm serious, Lukas. What is it?"

"Socks."

Iceland rolled his eyes. "What about the little red one over there?"

"Also socks," Norway said, bored.

"You're not nearly as funny as you think."

Finland shot a glare at Norway, who looked at him innocently.

"What?"

"You know what," Finland said. "Stop ruining Christmas."

"I would never."

Finland went back to wiping the painted scar on a struggling Ladonia's face as Denmark flipped Sealand onto his back and mercilessly blew raspberries into his tummy while the kid squealed. Sweden munched on a gingerbread man's skull.

Iceland turned back to Norway. "Can you please be honest? I hate surprises."

"You love surprises," Norway said. "Socks."

"Lukas."

Norway dipped a gingerbread man into his coffee and shrugged.

Iceland sighed. "Fine. Will you tell me if I call you brother?"

Norway hid his smile in his coffee. "Yes."

"Brooir."

"Socks."

"Come on!"

Norway sipped his coffee and looked at the presents again. He paused in confusion, coughing as the coffee slipped the wrong way down his throat. He let his eyes glow momentarily and sat back again, dumbfounded.

"Mathias," he said. Denmark looked up from the floor and Ladonia pounced on him.

"AUGH! What's that, Norge?" He wrestled Ladonia to the ground and sat on his back.

Norway pointed at the tree. "The red one from you to me. What's wrong with it?"

Denmark laughed. "Haha! Wrong with it? Real hasty to judge, aren't ya?"

"I can't see it," Norway frowned. "Something's disrupting the spell."

Finland put his hands on his hips, but he wasn't especially intimidating with Hanatamago dozing in his lap. "What did I tell you about that spell, Lukas? Why can't you just wait until tomorrow?"

Denmark cackled and ignored Finland. "So it worked! That's good to know!"

"What did you do, you moron?"

Denmark tickled Ladonia happily. "Called England a week ago and asked him if there was anything that could block your creepy see-through-solid-objects spell and he sent me the weirdo magic wrapping paper. I guess it works, huh?"

Norway stood up and picked up the smallish red box. "Why would he give you a spell like that?"

"Mostly to be obnoxious," Denmark grinned, pulling an angry Ladonia into his lap. "I told him I wanted to surprise you for Christmas and he was more than happy to help!"

Norway shook the box, annoyed. He couldn't place the shift in weight and there was no distinct noise. "What is it?"

Denmark leaned against the wall and put his hands behind his head. "Nuh-uh. You do this every year. All of us spend forever trying to find the perfect present for you thinking you'll be all surprised and happy, and then you go and magic. Not this year, Norge. This year you get to be surprised like everyone else."

Finland smiled happily at Denmark. "Mathias, that's just the perfect idea! Is there any paper left? We can do that for his birthday and Christmas next year!"

"That is the worst idea ever," Norway growled, fire shooting through his eyes.

Iceland came up behind Norway and smirked. "You really should see the look on your face right now, Lukas. You get really red when you're frustrated."

"He's cute like that, isn't he?" Denmark laughed. Ladonia hit the deck as Norway chucked a gingerbread cookie at Denmark's face.

"What is it, idiot?"

"I'm not telling! Sheesh, you do NOT get the concept of 'surprise,' do ya?"

"It's eating you up inside," Iceland grinned. "It's killing you that you have to wait until morning. You just can't be patient, can you, Lukas?"

Norway glared at the gift in his hands. "It's not killing me. I'm a very patient person."

"Oh, please," Ladonia said from the floor. "That's a load of crap."

"There was a line at your favorite coffee shop yesterday," Sealand said from Sweden's lap. "Instead of waiting five minutes, you made Mr Troll steal a cup from behind the counter for you."

"It was not stealing," Norway corrected. "Mr Troll left the twenty kroner by the machine."

"If it wasn't stealing, why'd you make us run all the way home?"

"There were imps chasing us. Why are we even talking about this?"

Denmark laughed. "You're so cute when you get flustered, Norge!"

Norway grabbed the front of Denmark's bright green sweater angrily. "I am not flustered," he hissed. "And don't call me cute."

Denmark laughed. "I see! What's the right word, then? Ruffled? Frustrated?"

"What's in the damn box, Danmark?"

"Hey," Sealand chirped. "Watch your mouth, Uncle Lukas! There are kids here!"

"I'm older than you," Ladonia said, confused. Sealand fell onto his side in Sweden's lap, laughing.

"Darn it," Finland mumbled, sniffing Sealand's mug on the coffee table. "Who spiked the eggnog this year?"

Denmark raised his hand sheepishly. "My bad. But I only put in a little, I swear!"

"A liter is a little to you, you alcoholic," Norway growled, letting Denmark go.

Iceland raised his hand. "I put a little in, too."

Norway sighed. "Me too."

Finland glared at all of them. "I'm shocked! How do three people spike the same eggnog?"

"Four," Sweden said, raising his hand.

"Berwald!"

Sealand fell into a giggling fit and rolled onto the floor. Finland sighed and picked him up.

"At least you're a happy little drunk."

"Crerry Mistmas, Mama!" Sealand giggled.

Denmark stood up. "Wow, look at the time! You little tots really ought to get to bed so Santa can visit!"

"No, I wanna stay up!" three voices called out in unison.

Sweden stood up and "smiled" at his distressed "wife." "W' sh'ld all b' g'ttin' t' bed."

"It's only ten!" Finland pleaded. "We have to stay up and wait for Pukki!"

Sweden scooped Ladonia up and kissed Finland on the forehead. "P'kki onl' comes wh'n yer sl'ping."

"Just a little longer?" Finland said. "Please?"

"Hm… 'kay."

Sealand snored softly on Finland's neck and Sweden and Finland carried the boys to their room upstairs. Iceland smirked at Norway and Norway glared at Denmark.

"Tell me," Norway said.

"Well, look at the time!" Denmark said cheerily. "I should really get my beauty sleep!"

Norway grabbed Denmark's ear. "What makes you think it'll suddenly start working tonight? Tell me what's in the box."

"Patience," Iceland chuckled. "It's a virtue, Lukas."

"Quiet, you."

Denmark smiled. "Nope! You're gonna finally be surprised for the first time in your life! And that's the greatest Christmas present I could give you!"

"I hate surprises," Norway hissed.

"You love surprises," Iceland smirked.

Norway scowled at Iceland. "Why aren't you on my side?"

"Same reason you won't tell me what's in my presents."

"I did tell you," Norway said. "Socks."

Iceland puffed out his cheeks in annoyance.

Denmark winked at Iceland. "Get to bed, little dude. The sooner you fall asleep, the sooner you wake up."

"Fine. Goodnight, Mathias. Lukas."

"Goodnight, Erik," Norway said, not taking his eyes off Denmark. Iceland shrugged and walked upstairs to find the guest bed.

"Tell me now," Norway said once Iceland was out of earshot.

"Not a chance! You'll thank me tomorrow!"

"I knew it," Norway said. "It's something stupid, isn't it?"

"Maybe!" Denmark grinned.

"Tell me!" Electricity sizzled the air between Norway's fingers in his free hand and he waggled them threateningly in front of Denmark's face.

Denmark sighed. "Anyone ever tell ya you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?"

Norway let go of Denmark's ear and folded his arms. "A fitting metaphor, you freakishly stupid insect."

Denmark laughed. "I see!"

"Are we negotiating?" Norway said. "What do I need to do for you to tell me?"

"What are you willing to do?" Denmark winked.

Norway shuffled his feet and awkwardly spread his arms out at his sides. "Embrace me."

Denmark smiled and wrapped his arms around Norway's waist. Norway patted his back uneasily.

"Tell me."

"Nope."

Norway sighed and loosened his hug around Denmark's shoulders. "You look very handsome in that stupid sweater."

"Bit more, Norge."

The air above Denmark's head sizzled and he looked up to find a little cluster of magically summoned white berries and leaves.

"Look," Norway said. "Mistletoe."

Denmark laughed. "Wow! You really wanna know what I got you, huh?"

"Just tell me. It'll be much easier on both of us."

"You'd do anything, Norge?" Denmark said seriously, pulling away.

"Anything."

Denmark's eyes glinted mischief. "Anything?"

Norway gulped. "Anything."

"Would you even…" Denmark leaned in to whisper in Norway's ear, "…wait until morning?"

When Sweden and Finland came down the stairs, Norway was throwing gingerbread cookies like ninja stars and Denmark was leaping out of the way, shouting and laughing.

"Hey- HEY!" Finland whisper-yelled. "What in the name of joulupukki are you two doing?"

Norway dropped the gingerbread man in his hand. "Nothing. Hello, Tino."

Denmark laughed and winked.

"Get to bed, both of you," Finland said. "And keep it down, the kids are trying to sleep!"

"Awwww," Denmark moaned. "But I'm not even tired yet!"

"We'll be quiet," Norway promised.

"Now," Finland said.

Norway and Denmark trudged resentfully up the stairs. Norway gave Denmark a final punch in the shoulder and they shut the door of the guest room.

Finland rolled his eyes at Sweden and went into the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee.

Sweden followed him and crossed his arms. "Wh't 'r you d'ing, T'no?"

"Drinking coffee," Finland said innocently. "You want some?"

"W're n't w'ting f'r S'nta."

"Come on, Berwald!" Finland cried. "It's more fun with two people! I promise it'll be great!"

Sweden pulled Finland to his chest. "Yer s' cute," he mumbled into Finland's neck.

Finland stifled a yawn and Sweden stroked his hair.

"C'me on," Sweden said, taking Finland by the shoulder. "Wh'n y' wake 'p, 't w'll b' Chr'stm's."

Finland followed him reluctantly up the stairs.

…

Sweden wasn't sure what woke him up first- the overwhelming sense of being watched or the excited giggles. He opened his eyes in his dark bedroom and looked at the foot of his bed to see three unbearably excited faces looking at him hopefully.

"Christmas time?" Sealand giggled.

"Christmas?" Ladonia said.

"Time for Christmas?" Finland whispered.

Sweden looked at the clock. "'s five 'n th' mornin."

Sealand, Finland and Ladonia sat eagerly at the foot of the bed and Sweden sighed and put his glasses on. "'kay."

"YAY!" Finland shouted. Sealand and Ladonia yelped and leapt off the bed. All three ran to the guest room.

"UNCLE MAT!" Sealand shouted. "UNCLE LUKAS! UNCLE ERIK!"

The men lay in three small beds. Denmark and Iceland stirred awake clumsily. But Norway, in the furthest bed, struggled against the ropes tying his wrists to the bed posts.

Ladonia and Sealand jumped on Iceland's bed, shouting "CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS!" But Finland and Sweden crossed their arms in front of Denmark and Norway's beds.

Denmark looked over at Norway and the ropes around his wrists and his eyes widened. "I-it's not what it looks like! He was trying to slip downstairs to peek at the gifts! So I had to restrain him!"

"W'sn't g'nna ask," Sweden said, a smug grin ghosting his face.

Norway glared over at Denmark. "You're an ass."

Finland laughed happily. "Merry Christmas, you two. Now let's go!"

Sweden untied Norway, who sighed in relief. Sealand and Ladonia grabbed Iceland by the wrist and pulled him downstairs, with the older four trailing happily. Denmark, Sweden and Norway yawned conspicuously, but Finland seemed ready to burst with excitement.

The tree in the living room twinkled at everyone with the pride of a tree who knew it was fulfilling its destiny. Though the windows were still inky black, the Christmas tree seemed to wink at the Nordics and say "Don't worry. I got this." The light filled the room, slapping the lazy-ass sun in the face.

Norway went straight for the coffee maker in the kitchen, but Sealand and Ladonia perched themselves excitedly in front of the tree. Finland sat right in front of the tree to hand out presents. Norway came back with a tray of coffee mugs and sat himself between Denmark and Iceland on the sofa. Sweden stood in the corner, armed with a video camera.

"Okay," Finland said. "Who's first? How about…. Hanatamago?"

The little white dog yipped excitedly and Sealand and Ladonia rolled their eyes.

Denmark laughed. "Don't tease, Tino! Throw the kids a bone!"

Norway shot Denmark a look. "Really? Tino's the tease?"

"Patience, Lukas," Iceland smirked.

"Stop enjoying this," Norway said.

"Berwald, did you put the muffins in the oven?" Finland asked.

"Mama," Sealand laughed. "Quit teasing! It's Christmas!"

Finland laughed and handed Ladonia and Sealand their first presents, which they tore through.

"Wow!" Ladonia said. "Antivirus software! Thanks, Uncle Lukas!"

"Doesn't mean you can just download anything you want," Norway warned. "You still have to be careful."

"I will be!"

"Awesome!" Sealand cried. "A model boat!"

"Y' l'ke t' play T'tan'c 'n th' bath," Sweden said. "Thought y'd l'ke 't."

Sealand blushed. "Papaaaaa, I do not!"

"Sure you do!" Finland said happily. "We have videos! You're so cute!"

"Mamaaaa!"

Iceland smirked. "I vote we watch that after breakfast."

"Second!" Denmark laughed.

"Third," Norway said.

Sealand blushed and Finland tossed Iceland a gift. Norway's eye twitched.

"Relax, Norge!" Denmark laughed. "You'll get it!"

Iceland smirked and unwrapped the box. His face fell. "Why are these socks?"

"Because your feet must get so cold at your house!" Finland grinned. "These are the warmest, fluffiest socks in the world!"

Iceland smiled. "Thank you, Tino."

Finland handed out gift after gift. A new watch for Sweden. MP3 files for Ladonia. A leather bound journal for Denmark. Gift after gift, smile after smile, and Norway kept staring down the little red box as if it insulted him with its very presence.

Finally, Finland laughed. "Look at how red he is! Berwald, do that zoomy thing with the camera, I love Lukas' face!"

"J'st p't him out 'f h's m'sery," Sweden said. Finland laughed and picked up the little red present. Norway's breath hitched in his throat.

"Do you want this, Lukas?" Finland laughed. "You ready to be surprised? Berwald, keep the video thingy on his face, I think this is the first time he's ever been surprised by a Christmas present! Lukas, do you want to open this now?"

"Tino, I swear to God…"

Finland laughed and put the present in Norway's lap. Denmark watched him, smirking.

Norway tried to look calm as he unwrapped the box, but a huge part of him was torn between ripping off the paper like a child and throwing the box to the ground and jumping on it until whatever had been making him so curious was well and truly dead.

He finally got to the box and opened it, breathlessly. His face immediately fell and he pulled the Norwegian flag coffee mug out.

"I was with you when you bought this at the coffee shop, idiot."

Denmark burst into laughter. "HAHA! You should have seen your face! You were so excited! Sve, dude, did you catch all of that?"

Sweden nodded and Denmark laughed harder.

"I just wanted to see you get all flustered!" Denmark laughed. "Norge, you get so cute when you're frustrated!"

Iceland smirked at Norway under his pile of socks. "Surprise, Lukas."

Norway glared at him. "Did you know?"

"Mathias told me last week. We laughed. It was funny. It's still funny."

Denmark laughed and held his stomach. Norway punched him in the arm.

"You're an asshole."

"Haha!" Denmark chuckled. "Maybe! But now we know- Norge likes surprises!"

"I do not."

Finland grinned. "You looked pretty happy to me, Lukas! We'll have to ask England for more of that magic paper next year!"

"Don't do that."

Denmark winked. "If you weren't so adorable, we wouldn't have to! Alas, it's the curse of being as beautiful as you are!"

"I will break your fingers," Norway growled.

The timer in the kitchen beeped and Finland rushed to his feet to get the muffins out of the oven. Denmark smiled at Norway.

"Seriously, though. Do you like it?"

Norway looked at Denmark, then turned to Iceland. "Wanna trade?"

"Hey!"

Iceland sighed. "How is it possible that everyone got me socks?"

Sealand and Ladonia ran around the room chasing each other with a few of Sealand's new toy airplanes and Sweden turned to film his darling son and nephew.

When he was sure the camera was pointed elsewhere, Norway grabbed one of the full coffee mugs from the coffee table and poured it into the flag mug. Denmark grinned.

"Don't get the wrong idea," Norway said, sipping the coffee.

"How could I possibly?" Denmark laughed.

Iceland reached for a mug of coffee and Norway smacked his hand. "These are mine, brother. Go get your own."

"You've got six cups of coffee there," Iceland said.

"It's really early, Mister Judgy."

Finland floated into the room with a plate of cranberry muffins, humming "Angels We Have Heard On High." Sealand and Ladonia hurriedly grabbed two each and raced each other to see who could eat the fastest.

Sweden took a muffin and kissed Finland on the forehead. "M'rry Chr'stmas."

"Merry Christmas!" Finland sang happily.

Iceland and Denmark both stole a mug of coffee from Norway and clinked them together. "Cheers," they said to each other.

Finland looked at everyone joyfully. "Can I just say how happy I am that I get to spend today with the people I love more than anything else in the world?"

"You could say that," Norway said. "If you wanted to reinforce the idea that you are a very girly man."

Iceland and Denmark snorted into their coffee and Sweden hid a smile.

"Hey!" Finland said. "I'm as manly as they come!"

"You're wearing a pink apron," Sealand said.

"With frills!" Ladonia added.

Denmark and Iceland laughed and Finland put his hands on his hips. "Peter, what did I say about being a smart-ass?"

Sealand swallowed the last of his muffin and grabbed another. "You said, 'Don't be a smart-ass.'"

Sweden choked on a snigger and Finland glared at him. Sweden coughed lightly.

"S'meth'n 'n m' throat."

Norway chuckled and sat back, sipping coffee out of his flag mug. He vowed to spend the next year covertly trying to find a counter-spell to that damned English wrapping paper and making Denmark's life miserable.

But for the moment, he was happy. "Merry Christmas indeed," he said.

Haha! Wow! I've told pretty much everyone else in the world, so I can't believe I forgot to tell you! I went on a Christmas cookie baking flurry of wonder and after the greatest gingerbread men in history, I had too much molasses left. I scoured internet-land to find a good way to use it and I finally discovered a recipe for pfeffernusse. Pfeffernusse is like a firm German cookie made with pepper. So counter-intuitive! So I made it, and you know what? Even though I've never had pfeffernusse before in my life, I'm fairly certain that my Jager-laced pepper cookies are THE GREATEST PFEFFERNUSSE EVER CREATED IN HISTORY EVER. I waxed poetic earlier this week and likened eating my pfeffernusse to kissing Prussia himself. They're that awesome.

Anyway. Merry Christmas again!