I'll stay with you, Always

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We finally 'defeated' Seymour, or at least, we managed to hold him off long enough to escape with our skins intact. Regardless of the fact that we were alive, I felt something like death coming from Yuna…her faith was shaken, no, it was dead. Yevon had betrayed her, everything she once believed in was now called into question. She had nothing left to believe in.

My heart ached for her. All this she has suffered through, months of traveling, and for what? To be betrayed by the ones she thought were supporting her? I knew I would never betray her. 'I will be faithful to her until the very end…no, not the end…I will always be faithful to her, beyond the end, even if it leads to my death.' These were the thoughts that plagued my mind as we fled for our lives, out through the back of Bevelle, into the forest of Macalania.

I looked over at her as she jogged along beside me, pain streaked her face, her ever-present smile was no longer there. If she couldn't find the strength to smile, her heart must be truly crushed. I wanted so terribly to say something, or do something, anything to comfort her, but I was empty; I was lost reaching through darkness, longing to comfort her over something I didn't even understand. She was just as lost as I was, but in a different way, a more painful way. I couldn't even imagine going through all that she had suffered through, and, it had only begun…

When we had gone several miles, and were deep into the forest, we found a small clearing surrounded thickly by trees, Yuna stopped. "We should rest here." She said. "I-I need some time to think…I'll be back in a while." She walked off into the darkness, and I watched her go, unable to speak, I stood there dumbly wondering what to do next.

Rikku plopped down on the ground with her legs sprawled out, and dramatically slammed her back into the ground, exhausted. Auron leaned against a tall, blue trunked tree, crossed his arms and stood silently. Kimahri followed after Yuna with two words. "I guard." Lulu rested delicately against another tree, her head nodded to her chest. Wakka dropped to the ground, crossed his legs, and leaned flat on his stomach over his legs and almost immediately began snoring.

I looked around wondering how they could all be so…I don't know? Casual? 'Here Yuna is, her heart broken, and all they can think about is resting? Sure, we're all exhausted, but really, how important are a few more minutes of sleep?' With those thoughts, I went after Yuna, struggling to piece together in my mind some kind of comforting words.

It took several minutes to find her, but I saw her standing in a pond with her back to me, looking up at the stars. I looked at them too, they were so beautiful. I never saw many stars in Zanarkand; the city lights were too bright.

I saw Kimahri, standing about forty or fifty feet behind her in the forest, watching and guarding her. When he saw me, he said in a hushed tone, "You guard?" I nodded, and he walked off back towards camp. I wandered to the edge of the pond, and I guess Yuna heard my footsteps on the dirt path, because she spoke to me. "I always thought this would be easier…I…thought that people would help me, I knew it would be hard, but I knew I could do it with my friends beside me…but…it's so hard…I'm trying so hard, but…I...I just don't know what to do now..."

I didn't really know what to say to this. "Maybe...you're trying too hard." I stepped into the water, and I was surprised to find that it was warm, unlike the frigid air around us; it was not a pond at all, it was a spring. The soothing water swirled around my ankles, and I continued further in towards her, searching for a way to tell her that I knew about the final summoning...her death. "They told me…everything." "Everything?" she asked, turning around to look at me questioningly.

I nodded, and when she saw the sadness in my eyes, she knew what I was speaking of. She turned away, and whispered, "Well, so then…you know…" "Yeah." I whispered. "I'm sorry." She turned to look at me again, questions in her eyes, her two beautiful, mismatched eyes. "I…I knew what would happen. I made the choice…" She trailed off. "I…well, it's just, all those things that I said..." 'I feel so stupid! How could I have been so insensitive?' I mentally kicked myself for all the things I'd said in the past months. "Like, Let's go get Sin, or about Zanarkand, or about the Moonflow, I didn't know what would happen to you Yuna…I guess, well, I hope…I hope I didn't make you sad."

'I don't want her to be sad…I just want to see her smile…No, I want to see her REALLY smile, smile for pure joy, from real happiness that wells up from her heart, not what she forces herself to do, because she's so amazingly self-sacrificial.' "Will you…forgive me?" She turned from me again and looked skywards. "I wasn't sad. I was happy, just to know you cared…"

I dropped underneath the soothing water swimming around for a few seconds, and then came up a little ways deeper in than she was. I turned to look at her across the water and after thinking for a moment, I wondered if just giving up on the whole pilgrimage might cure her sadness... "Yuna." I said her name tenderly. "Just don't do it…I mean, just forget the past, forget about Sin, about Yevon, about being a summoner…you know…live a normal life...?"

She sunk into the water and floated on her back, her eyes closed. "Maybe I will…but…what would I do if I gave up my pilgrimage?" I gazed at her fondly, floating there in the water, with the moonlight shining down on her, she was so beautiful…everything about her, inside her heart, and outside her body was perfect. The scars left from battles, they just made her even more perfect; they showed her heart's resolve, how she was willing to go through all that for Spira…she was so perfect, she deserved better than this. Better than this painful life in this painful world...

"I could…take you to Zanarkand..." She stood up and looked at me questioningly, hurt showing in her eyes. "I mean…not the one here. The one I'm from, my Zanarkand. We could all go; we could fly there!" Happiness sparked in her eyes. "We could watch you play Blitzball! I would cheer for you until I had no voice left!" I grinned at her. "Okay, but keep your voice, I lo-erm, like to hear your voice." I wondered if she noticed my slip, not sure if I wanted her to or not.

She smiled back at me. "But…what would we do after the game?" "We'd go out and have fun!" She looked incredulous. "In the middle of the night?" I laughed a bit at her, realizing that she had no idea how different Zanarkand was from Spira. "No problem!" I said. "Zanarkand never sleeps!" Then, I remembered what she said, what felt like years ago. In reality, it had only been a few months since that evening at the Mi'ihen Highroad inn, she liked the sunset. That sunset there was nothing compared to sunrises in Zanarkand.

"Let's go to the sea, before the sunrise. The city lights go out one by one. The stars fade... Then the horizon glows, almost like it's on fire. The sea turns red, and then it spreads to the sky, until the whole city glows. It's really…pretty." I wanted to add "Just like you." But I didn't know how she'd take it. So, I just said, "I know you'd like it." I was gazing at the sky, and Yuna was standing behind me, when she next spoke, her voice was melancholy, not how I wanted it, I meant only to tell her things that would make her happy.

"I'd like to see it, someday." She said, and I thought I heard a slight catch in her voice. "You can, Yuna. We can both go!" I said, almost trying to convince myself more than her. I turned to look at her, and she was wringing her hands and looking down at the water. "I…I…" she sucked in air before continuing, and I could tell that she was trying not to cry. 'What did I say? I came here to comfort her, not make her sad!'

"I can't give up my pilgrimage…I can't forsake Spira…" Her voice caught. "I can't go with you. I will finish my pilgrimage, and," She choked. "I'll die…" A tear rolled down her cheek and hit the water. "to…to save them…It's all I've..." Her voice caught in her throat again. "ever…lived for." She began to cry more, tears streaming down her face, falling to the water below. My heart ached horribly for her. I desperately reached for words to comfort her, but despair came over me as I realized that I could not reassure her. She was doomed, there was no hope.

I felt like I was being stabbed. As I watched her weep, I wanted to cry too. What kind of horrible pain could she be going through, if she, Yuna, the incredible girl who smiles when she is sad, was breaking down into tears? I forced back my own tears. This wasn't my time to cry, I needed to comfort her. She was going through so much more than I ever had to. She needed me now. I stepped forward, my mind racing for some words to say. I slowly raised a hand to her shoulder, and she still didn't look up, so I lifted my other, stepping a bit closer.

Beneath my hands, her shoulders shook as she cried uncontrollably. "Yuna…" I whispered her name, OH! That name I loved so much, my heart was screaming for my to heal the heart of this girl that I…loved. I loved her. She needed me, and no matter how my heart was aching, I was going to be strong for her. She looked up at me, and sniffed, her shoulders hitching as she struggled to stop her crying.

I leaned down close to her face until I was looking right straight into her beautiful sapphire and emerald eyes. Those wonderful eyes that were filled with tears. I longed to replace the tears of sorrow with tears of joy, but I couldn't. There was nothing in the terrible world of Spira to be joyful about. Another stab of despair brought more threatening tears, but I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked away the tears.

"Yuna," I whispered, my face only an inch or two from hers. "I will support you, whatever your choice is; I will stand by you always. I am your guardian, and I will fight by your side until my last breath." The words flowed out of me, straight from my heart; I didn't even have to think about what I was saying. I leaned even closer to her, and her eyes had cleared mostly of their tears, but her shoulders still shook uncontrollably. I looked even deeper into her eyes, trying to tell her how much I loved her.

"I will fight everyone and everything that comes against you; I will never give up until I find a way to save you. I will fight even the Final Aeon, and I will lay down my life, and anything else to save you. I am your guardian, and I will always protect you." My lips nearly brushed hers as I spoke, every word intensified with emotion. "You are the most wonderful, amazing, selfless girl in the world, in mine or yours, I will stay with you, always, and Yuna, I will do anything for you, because, Yuna," my voice softened. "Because I love you." As I said "you", my lips finally brushed softly against hers, and her shoulders shook once more before calming.

She relaxed, and I gently wrapped my arms around her, and held her. I put everything I had into that kiss. I tried to show her just how much I loved her. I could not use words to describe how much, so I just held her, and comforted her. She leaned up to me a bit, wrapping her arms around me. I longed to hold her here forever; away from the world, away from death and Sin and tragedy. I finally leaned away from her and she smiled up at me! She smiled, and the joy in that sweet smile was real; I had never seen her smile like that before.

She was happy. I wanted to kiss her again and again, to have her happy like that forever. I slid my hands down her arms until our hands met, allowing our fingers to intertwine. I reached up and gently wiped the tears from her face; Then she reached her arms up around my neck and pulled me close, and our lips meeting for the second time. We held each other, each giving comfort to the other. Finally she leaned away, and looked up at me with that same, wonderful, glorious smile.

Words weren't needed to express the joy we both felt. I smiled back, my heart felt like it was soaring, seeing her so happy. She looked down, suddenly shy, and said quietly, "Um, maybe…you should go back first." I nodded at her, knowing that she must have never done anything like that before, and in truth, neither had I. I had never been in a romantic relationship in Zanarkand…that was my first kiss, and I would bet anything that it was hers too, besides her and Seymour's wedding kiss.

Suddenly anger rose up in me, but I squelched it. 'Now is not the time for anger.' "Roger." I said, placing my hand on her shoulder and giving her another quick kiss on the forehead before walking back toward camp. 'I made her cry, but I made her smile, smile for real joy.' Happiness welled up inside of me, along with hope. I won't let her die. I'll save her.

Suddenly, I heard her whistle, and I turned around, and she was right behind me. "I-I'll go with you." she said, a slight giggle in her voice. She reached her hand for mine, and we walked back to camp together, hand in hand, both with renewed hope for the future ahead, the future that had never looked so bright.

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TidusxYuna Always