If it hurts this much
Then it must be love
And it's a lottery,
I cant wait to draw your name.
Oh I'm trying to get to you
Time isn't on my side,
If the truth's the worst I can do,
Then I guess that I have lied.
3 years on, and his heart still belonged to her. 3 years on, and he still wished upon a star every night for her return. 3 years on, and he still dreamed about her. 3 years on, King Caspian the Tenth was sailing the oceans on The Dawn Treader. They had been sailing for 3 days now. As they left the harbour his thoughts turned to Queen Susan, the as-of-yet love of his life. Her beauty and elegance still caught his breath when he remembered their times together. He had tried many times to accept the fact that he would never see her again, but his memories combined with that part of his heart that would always belong to the gentle Queen forced him to hope.
Keeping me awake,
It's been like this for days
My heart's out at sea
My head all over the place.
I'm losing sense of time,
And everything tastes the same
I'll be home in a day
I fear that's a month too late.
As Susan gazed across the ocean to the setting sun, she found her thoughts drifting back to Narnia. She had repressed her memories so far, sick of 'playing children's games' – as she told her siblings. "Ha, you don't still believe that do you? My, what imaginations we all had. Besides, who ever heard of a magical land inside a wardrobe!" But deep down, Susan wanted to join them in their talks of great battles and luscious meadows, feasts and balls, hunting and coronations. But it was just too painful. She longed to return to the magic, return to the hope, return to Narnia.. return to Caspian. But Aslan had told her and Peter they would never return. So she had tried to accept that, even though she was alienating her siblings by doing so. So she had come to America with her parents, to parties on cruise ships, to charming men in suits, to expensive restaurants and make up and dresses and high heels. To her suitors, she was the beautiful Susan Pevensie, a woman with an exceptional taste in almost everything who took a lot to impress. But inside, she was Queen Susan the gentle, high Queen of Narnia, who loved to impress with her archery skills, her natural beauty, and her courageous attitude in battle.
That night, I slept
On your side of the bed so,
It was ready when you got home.
We're like, noughts and crosses
In that opposites always attract.
He sighed and watched the sunset whilst his crew bustled around behind him. The past 3 years had been spent establishing his hold on the kingdom, and uniting the Narnians and the Telmarines. Of course, there lay the difficulty – 1,300 years of hatred didn't disappear in seconds. But with a bit of time and work, they were getting along nicely. Caspian was trying to help the Telmarines back to their sailing origins, for as far as anyone knew only the Naiads and Mer-people had swam the clear blue waters. The stories of Aslan's country in the utter East were alive and kicking, and many Narnians had wanted to join the quest to find the seven lost lords, in the hope that the rumours of their king searching for Aslan were true. He'd embarked on a quest from which he was unsure he'd return from – it was so tempting to sail to the East and leave the small matter of a kingdom in someone else's hands. But his memories of the Pevensies, the closest thing he had to a family, pushed him to hold on and wait for the day they'd return. Besides, Aslan may have ruled out Peter and Susan returning, but not Edmund and Lucy. He could only hope, and wait.
You've taken me to the top,
And let me fall back south
You've had me at the top of the pile
Then had me kissing the ground.
We've heard and seen it all,
No one's talked us out
The problems that have come
Haven't yet torn us down.
She jumped as a hand fell upon her shoulder, yet another male competing for her fancy. Only this one was different; His long, dark hair and olive skin bared an uncanny resemblance to someone she once knew, someone she once loved. She smiled and turned back to the ocean as he slid in beside her, saying nothing but watching the sunset like her. The silence was neither awkward or unfriendly, but comfortable and understanding. Much like her times with Caspian. They never overtalked or felt uncomfortable. Being with him was natural, happy. She denied it, but she had fallen in love, with a Telmarine Prince of all people. And not just him – From the first steps out of the wardrobe, Susan had fallen for Narnia. Everything about it – The country, the people, the clothes, the loyalty, the love the country shared, the food, the drink, the activities.. And that was it, almost a year of trying to forget, ruined in a matter of seconds. As a single tear rolled down her face, she turned to the man beside and smiled.
Am I keeping you awake?
If I am then just say
You can make your own decisions,
You can make your own mistakes.
I live and let die
All the promises you made
But if you lie another time,
It'll be a lie that's too late.
He had to accept it at some point, so why not now? He was a young, handsome king, and he certainly had his fair share of admirers. But every ball, every dinner party was just a show. He'd held back because he felt as though he would be betraying Susan if he took up any offers, and that she'd come back and see him with his Queen and it would break her heart. But he knew that none of the women that he'd danced with were fit to be his Queen. They were pretty and charming, sure.. but nothing compared to her. He could never give them his heart. But he mustn't stay hung up on the past forever, knowing that he would never see her again. And so, heart breaking, he made the internal decision of letting the gentle Queen go. She was bound to find someone else of course, so she would be happy. And if he couldn't have her, he at least wanted her to be happy.
"Excuse me Your Majesty? We've had to change course to avoid a storm, we're heading south until it calms. Captain told me to inform you."
He sighed and turned back to the waters. He made his final decision, to let his love go. As turned back to the deck and towards his cabin, he could have sworn he caught a glimpse of gold on the horizon.
That night I slept,
On your side of the bed so,
It was ready when you got home.
We're like noughts and crosses
In that opposites always attract.
Over the course of the evening, they got to know each other and danced for hours. Susan could relate to him, and he reminded her so much of Caspian. It was like letting go, but still holding him close all at once. And she once again felt Narnia slipping away, but this time Caspian stayed. So she did it once and for all. Susan Pevensie let go of her memories, her past and her childhood. And as she danced, she could have sworn she heard a growl from the waters.
You always have your way
For now it's too soon for you to say,
Will we be always, always?
You always have your way
For now it's too soon for you to say,
Will we be always, always?
You always have your way
For now it's too soon for you to say,
Will we be always, always?
You've had your way, you've had your way
You've had your way.