Title: No Second Chance
Author: Ayaika234
Author email: kat_angel765@yahoo.com
Category: angst
 Rating: PG
Summary: Meiling looks at her relationship with Syaoron and realizes that second chances don't always come.

Note:  The characters are about 18 now, and Meiling never left in the anime series.

Disclaimer:  I do not own CCS, nor will I ever.  That belongs to CLAMP.  I also don't own the song "I love you" by Sarah McLachlan.

~*No Second Chance*~

            Today's the day.  Today is the day that I tell him how I really feel.  Meiling sat up in bed with a determined look on her face.  She knew that she acted around Syaoron like he was hers, but she never actually told him how she felt.  How true her feelings were.  But today that will change.  Today he would know.

Now all she had to do was find him.

            She got dressed in her best outdoor dress, and continued on to find her love.  When she found him, she smiled, happy to see that he was walking alone on the sidewalk.  The butterflies started to appear in side her as she nervously walked toward him.

I have a smile
stretched from ear to ear
to see you walking down the road

        "Syaoron!", she called.  Those butterflies were numerous now; trying to get her scared enough to not do what she had to do. He began to walk towards her, and she braced herself.

            "Hi, Meiling," He said.  You can do this, Meiling, just calm down; you can do this, she thought.

            "I have something to tell you, Syaoron," she said, trying not to look away due to fear.

We meet at the lights
I stare for a while
the world around us disappears

            "What is it?" he asked. His eyes flicked from side to side, as if he was looking for someone.  What's he doing? , She thought.  Was he meeting someone here?  Shaking that thought out of her head, she gestured to the bench, and they both sat down.  Taking steady deep breaths, she looked in his eyes, feeling her heart race uncontrollably.

Just you and me
on this island of hope
a breath between us could be miles

            "I have something important to tell you," she repeated.  Those darn butterflies were good at their job; she was really considering backing down.  She took another deep breath, though it really didn't seem to help to calm her.

Let me surround you
my sea to your shore
let me be the calm you seek

            "And that is…?" he asked.  His eyes were shifting again, as if he expected someone to randomly show up, and interrupt.

            "I…", she whispered, feeling the words caught in her throat.  She couldn't.  She can't…she had to.

            "I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time," she began to say.  "What I was trying to tell you before was that I…"

            She couldn't finish though.  At that precise moment, Sakura came running up to them and through her arms around Syaoron. 

            "Syaoron!  I told you to meet me there!  What are you doing over here?", she asked, smiling happily. Meiling heart was gradually slowing down, the butterflies leaving.  Oh no…this wasn't supposed to happen, she thought.   Shocked, she continued to watch the scene before her.

            "Meiling called me over here and we were just talking, that's all", he replied, also smiling.  Sakura looked at Meiling like she just noticed that she was there, waved hello, and turned back to Syaoron.

            "Oh, well are you ready to go?  We'll miss the movie!"  Syaoron got off the bench and walked toward her.  He turned to Meiling and said,

            "You can finish whatever you were going to tell me later, okay?"  With that, he waved good-bye and walked away with Sakura.

            "Wait…" Meiling whispered, but to no avail; he was gone.

Oh and every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away

            Hours later, she was still on that very same bench with her knees drawn up to her chin.  Blinking away the tears in her eyes, she tried to think of what to do now.  Dejectedly, she got up and began to walk the lonely walk home…defeated.

And I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the words to say I need you so

            On the way, she saw something that made her heart shatter.  She saw her beloved kissing Sakura.  At that moment, her world was gone.  No longer holding the tears back, she ran the rest of the way home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            The next day had to have been the worst rainy day of her life.  She met up with him again; she had to…one last time.

            "Syaoron?" she asked, sure he could hear the mix of sad and nervous feelings in her voice.

            "Oh, Hi Meiling, what's up?" he asked smiling.  "Sorry for leaving you the other day, but I had other plans."

            "I realized that…."

            "Syaoron, I have something to say, and please don't interrupt," she said, shushing him when he tried to intervene.

            "I just wanted to say, that I am…so…sorry Syaoron." She was trying to control herself but her emotions were now showing.

            Syaoron, with a confused face, replied, "Sorry for what?  You didn't do anything…"

            "But I did, Syaoron…I did."

            "What did you do that was so horrible?"

            She looked into his eyes, feeling her sadness grow. "I kept you."

Oh and every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away

            "What?  You kept me?" the confused Syaoron replied.  "What do you mean?" Meiling braced herself, knowing that the worst was yet to come.

            "I kept you…from living your life, wait!  Let me finish," she said, shushing him once more.

            "Since we were little children, I claimed you to be my fiancée, with no word from you however.  From that moment on, I followed you, watched you to make sure you were true, and I practically became your shadow."

            "And that wasn't fair to you.  I realize that now, but too late.  You love someone else now.  Don't ask me how I know…I just do."

            "So, *sniff* I decided to relieve you from your burden, Syaoron.  We are no longer engaged.  I can't keep you any longer, you have your life to live, and I have mine…"

            "Goodbye Syaoron, I hope that this isn't the last time we meet."  With that, tears and all, she turned to walk away.

            "Wait, Meiling!  Where'll you go?"

            "Probably back home, to Hong Kong.  But I won't stay there forever."

            "You truly are a great friend Meiling.  You have a good heart."  He said, now with tears in his eyes. He ran to her to give her one last hug.

            "Goodbye Syaoron." She then left, and walked silently down the long road to home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            "You truly are a great friend Meiling.  You have a good heart."  That's all I'll be to him…a friend, she thought on the plane back home.  Though it was hard to do what she did, she was happy to know that he'll finally be happy, with the person that he truly loves.  She never did get to tell him her true feelings, but she figured that it was better this way; it would only complicate things. Through the entire time she knew him, second chances were numerous; the next day was always sunny, filled with hope.  Her second chances were up. The battle of affection was over.  She lost.

And I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Hey all!  Hope that you liked my little story here…I know, it sucked, but hey, I tried!  Please review, any comments are appreciated, be it good, bad, death threats, whatever!

REVIEW!!!

Love and Peace,

Minako_bunny234