Tag to the last scene of 9x10. This took a while to post because the words wouldn't sit right but here it is. Sam's POV (I know I know, mixin' things up for a change).


My Best Day

There is one day I think about more than any other. It sits patiently amongst my many memories, folded neatly and hid meticulously within the thick, pounding walls of my heart. And with each steady beat, I can feel it scrape softly against my ribcage. A memory never forgotten and forever cherished.

I remember this day because it was one of the most ordinary days of my life.

Back before things got so unbearably complicated. Before Dean sold his soul for me. Before Lucifer, Ruby, the Apocalypse. Before Trials and prophets and fallen angels and the lies, all the lies that hang in the air around us like a slow, suffocating poison.

This day was a Thursday afternoon in late May. Warm and sunny and a sky filled with plump white clouds you only see in movies.

We had pancakes and orange juice for breakfast in a diner painted bright red on our way out of some town I can't remember the name of. No coffee because somehow, for once in our lives, we'd gotten enough sleep. No added caffeine high to detract from the simplicity, the perfection of this particular day.

And this day held the gentlest breeze in its grasp, choosing to release it just when the heat was about to cross the threshold from hot into uncomfortable. The secret to this most ordinary day was in the timing of that breeze. The breeze that followed me and my brother across three states on our way to nowhere.

We just drove. All day long. Caught up in that breeze and in the soft, familiar chords of Led Zeppelin and Tom Petty and even a little Pearl Jam because Dean was feeling generous. We talked and we bickered about the stupidest things, letting the conversation ebb and fade with the shifting sunlight that glanced off the windshield and had us squinting against its glare. Watched the sky bleed orange and purple from the solid confines of that same windshield as the sun finally, regrettably sank down below the edges of the worn road in front of us.

And then the stars came out and Dean pulled the Impala over on the side of the road. No explanation. Just killed the engine and shot me a sly grin as he slid out from the driver's seat. Pulled a six-pack out of God-knows-where and waited for me to join him on the hood before he cracked open his first beer, toasting the pale crescent moon. And on this night, I forgot everything. I didn't stare at that moon and calculate how long before the next werewolf cycle or worry about the things that could be lurking somewhere in the dark. I just sat on the hood of that car with my big brother and watched those infinite twinkling lights.

And I told myself to tuck this memory safely away. To remind myself of this moment and this day when the world started to get too dark and I couldn't differentiate between the comforting glow of starlight and the foreboding glint of a knife.

So I pull it out now, place it neatly in the center of my mind as I watch Dean walk away from me, not bothering to shelter himself from the pounding rain. I remember his wide, laughing mouth and his easy words and the way the corners of his eyes crinkled into that familiar, cocky grin. I try so hard to keep that young, lively picture of my brother alive in my mind. A brother who's eyes hadn't yet been darkened by the horrors of Hell and the sins brought on by his purest intentions. A brother who could look in the mirror and see even a sliver of the hero that I still saw in him.

But that brother is long gone. Washed away to be replaced by the steady stream of tragedy that has flooded our lives and brought us to our knees, time and time again.

That brother is just a distant memory, a poorly kept reminder held close to my battered soul. And now even the memory itself has faded. And it brings me no relief.

Because I'm still just standing here with a silent angel beside me and drops of freezing rain soaking all the way through to my skin.


As usual, thank you so much for reading/reviewing! You guys are fabulous. New episode tomorrow, get excited!