Falling Out of Trees

Just an idea, and am in one of those writing moods.

Run Don't Walk

Alex didn't have much going for her. Sure she was the manager of a pretty successful club, sure she had friends, sure she had money, sure she had her own place, and sure she could say she was independent. But she didn't have a career, she didn't have a diploma, she could technically lose her job at any moment to someone with more experience, her apartment wasn't all that great, her family didn't speak to her, and her friends weren't really people you'd want to hangout with on a regular basis. The more she thought about her life, the more she wondered if things would have been different, there were two moments that she had narrowed down to potentially life changing, the first was if she had stayed with her parents instead of dropping out of school and moving out, and the second was if she had stayed with Marissa. But if she had never left, she never would have met Marissa, the one person who had left the biggest impression on her.

Looking to the left Alex eyed the sleeping brunette next to her. They weren't on a first name basis, and that's how Alex preferred it. She wasn't the type to stick around and cuddle much less stick around till morning came. No, she preferred to get out of wherever she was, whoever's place it was, as quickly as possible, usually no explanations were necessary or given. Alex was a love em, and leave em kind of person, except not so much love as just fuck.

Slipping out of the bed was easy, but it was to be expected, Alex did have a lot of experience with getting in and out of beds. She had a routine of throwing her clothes, no matter where she was at the end of the bed, because it made for easier navigation in the dark. Once Alex had pulled all of her discarded clothes on, she walked over to the side of the bed where the sleeping girl was, kissed her gently on the forehead, and gave her one last look before quietly leaving the apartment.

Once she was outside of the building, Alex slipped a cigarette into her mouth, and made her way towards her trusty jeep. She inhaled deeply, and let the smoke blow out of her nose. The drive back to her apartment only took ten minutes, which didn't surprise her. Hopefully she wouldn't run into the brunette anytime soon, whenever Alex ran into one of her 'victims' as Jodie liked to call them, awkwardness would always ensue. For whatever reason, they all remembered her name, or knew her name, but she had no idea what theirs was. The only thing she seemed to remember about them was how they were in bed.

She let herself into the apartment, trying to be as quiet as possible. Alex knew Jodie was asleep, and didn't want to disturb her, she was her best friend after all, but most importantly pissing Jodie off was like asking for a death wish. Making her way towards her room Alex walked past Jodie's closed door, and knew that she had a guest. That was their rule, if the door was closed that meant there was someone else in the room. Shrugging her jacket off, Alex tossed it onto the ground before crawling onto her bed. Not bothering to get under the covers, she made herself comfortable and closed her eyes, willing the sleep to come over her.

It seemed like only minutes had passed before Alex felt a pair of lips on her neck, she moved slightly trying to get more comfortable. But once she was in a better position, the lips were gone. Her eyes fluttered open, and instantly saw a smirking Jodie.
"Good morning," Jodie said leaning away from Alex, and plopping down on Alex's bed.
"Jodie." Alex mumbled out, wishing she were still asleep.
"Did you enjoy my wakeup call?"
"Mm I must say it was nice, won't your date or whoever you brought back be upset?" Alex smiled at her best friend. Since Alex had moved back to LA, her friendship with Jodie had been repaired and to some it was quite an odd one.
"Nah, she's still passed out. It'll be our little secret." Jodie said with a wink. Alex merely nodded her head, before closing her eyes again.
"So you got back pretty late last night…" Jodie trailed off, waiting for Alex to fill her in.
"I get back late every night."
"Your point is what exactly?"
"You know my door was closed, you can't always just barge in."
"Alex you never have people over, well you never have people in your room."
"What if I did?" Alex countered back, opening her eyes again.
"You won't, it's not you. Besides if there was someone then at least we could all have some fun together." The darker haired girl laughed making an emphasis on the word together.

Jodie was right though, Alex never brought anyone over to their apartment, she didn't want the people she hooked up with to know where she lived. It could lead to potential stalker situations, or clingy 'victims' who didn't get the hint. There was a reason why Alex didn't like to learn their names after all.

"So how was last night?" Jodie prompted, poking Alex slightly.
"It wasn't bad, her place was pretty nice. Well from what I could make of it at least."
"Alex you're telling me about her place? C'mon give me some more information. Was she any good?"
"Yeah she was, I mean she seemed to be enjoying herself."
"You are such a heartbreaker, love em and leave em." Jodie mused getting up off Alex's bed, "Well I'm going back to Monica, I will be seeing you later best friend." Alex merely waved her off as the door closed shut.

Alex lay awhile thinking about Jodie's words, she didn't consider herself a heartbreaker. There were some people she would casually date, but it was never for long, and she would never let them come to her place. It wasn't like she didn't want a real relationship, she just didn't really do relationships. She wanted it to be with someone she connected with instantly, someone who let off a spark, someone who made her feel things she couldn't describe. The people she met were just fun, they were easy, and they were merely used to quench the needs Alex had.

No one had the effect on her that Marissa had. Marissa. Just thinking about her made Alex's heart skip a beat. It had been months since they'd seen each other, much less spoken. She could still remember the smell on Marissa's pillow that last night, the outfit Marissa wore, everything about her was engrained in Alex's mind and no amount of people could erase that.

Her mind always brought her back to that fateful moment when her life changed. When she made that decision to leave, to give up on the greatest girl she'd ever met.

Marissa wasn't like the other girls Alex had dated previously. She was much more girly than the others, and she would have moments where she was extremely dramatic. But that was one of the reasons why Alex had fallen for her. It only took a few days for Marissa to steal Alex's heart, and Alex found herself unable to think straight when she was around her. Most of their fights left Alex running back to Marissa with an apology, and Alex had never been one to apologize.

The last time Alex had seen Marissa was on a Friday, they lay snuggled together in Marissa's over sized bed, just whispering about life. Before long Alex heard the soft breathing coming from the girl in her arms, and knew that Marissa was fast asleep. It was in that moment that Alex realized just how much the taller girl meant to her. And it was also in that moment that Alex realized she had to get out, she couldn't let herself be vulnerable, she couldn't let herself get hurt. But most importantly, Alex had a sinking feeling that she would mess up and hurt Marissa. In the past she had a bad habit of ending up in other people's beds, when she was still in 'committed' relationships. She didn't want to put Marissa through something like that, and she knew deep down that it would probably happen sooner or later. So she did the only thing she could, she slipped her arms out from around Marissa, with much struggle.

Apart of her didn't want to leave, a part of her wanted to stay, a part of her was screaming that it was okay to let yourself be with someone and to be happy, but a bigger part of her told her that it wasn't worth the pain that would come. And that was what made Alex kiss Marissa one last time, before slipping out of her life. She didn't leave a note, just went back to her apartment, packed a bag and headed straight to Jodie's. Marissa had tried to contact Alex for weeks after, but Alex would never answer her calls or respond to her texts and pretty soon, Marissa stopped trying.

In the mornings Alex always found herself wondering how Marissa was doing. Marissa was usually her first thought of the day, no matter how often she pushed her to the back of her mind. Alex hated herself for leaving things the way she did. It hadn't been her intention to let things happen that way, but she was scared and hadn't known what else to do. She hoped Marissa was doing well and that she was seeing someone, but she knew better than to lie to herself. Hell she hoped Marissa was single and still wanted to be with her, but even Alex knew that was a long shot. She had ruined her chance, and she knew deep down that there was nothing she could do about that, and frankly she didn't plan on doing anything to get Marissa back because as far as she was concerned Marissa was just an ex, albeit an ex that meant the world to her, but still just someone from her past. Plus she had fucked up majorly with Marissa, so she knew better than to hope for things that would never happen. Marissa probably never wanted to see or speak to her again, because Alex had done the jerkiest move by leaving in the middle of the night, and then by ignoring her. 'I'm a great catch', Alex thought to herself, rolling over onto her side.