Magdeburg 1995

Tom POV

"Ok, I heard you!"

Right now my mother was yelling at me to go to sleep. I might be only 5, but I shouldn't have to go to bed this early! It's only 22:00! I really should go to bed though, before she drags Jörg into this...

'I wonder if Bill is awake' I thought while climbing the stairs. Bill was always "the good twin" in our parents' eyes. He followed the rules as far as they knew. I've seen the real side of Bill though. We were just the same except somehow he managed not to get caught.

When I entered our room, I heard quiet sniffling. The first thing I saw was Bill curled up in a ball between our beds.

Bill POV

I looked up swiftly as I heard the door opening. I was quick to wipe away the tears, but Tom always knew when something was wrong.

He sat down next to me and held me, not saying a word. "What's wrong Bill?" he asked when I calmed down. I was hesitant to tell him for fear of him laughing at me. I took a deep breath and asked him a similar question.

"What'swrongwithme?" I said quickly. Tom looked dumbstruck. I'm not sure if he was wondering what I said or why I said it.

"What do you mean, Bill?"

'So he did understand me'

"I mean what is wrong with me? Why do people always pick on me? What makes them want to be mean to me? I've never done anything to them?" I could feel the tears coming back again. Tom didn't say anything, so I stood up and continued.

"All of this is getting worse! I hate that there's nothing I can do about it! If I tell Mom, they call me a snitch and hit me harder, see?" I lifted my shirt to reveal a dark, ugly bruise on my stomach.

Tom gasped and ran over. He lightly touched the bruise and when I felt the shock of pain run through my body, his hand flinched away. He looked at me with his eyes full of unshed tears.

"When?" he asked.

"Earlier, Ubel and his friends ganged up on me at school because of the last time I told Mom."

He pulled me down into a close embrace and we sat down and stayed like that for a while.

"Have you ever wanted to give up Tom? I asked without thinking.

"W-what?"

"I said, have you ever wanted to give up everything? To find out if there is something better after we're gone?"

"No Bill, I haven't," then an idea struck him, "have you?"

"No…well yes, I have. I think about it a lot actually. I just don't like the way I have to live."

Tom blew some hair out of his eyes and I could tell that he was trying to be strong enough for the both of us.

"Come on," he pulled me over to kneel next to him. "I know we don't normally do this, but we're going to pray and I want you to say all of the things that you wish for and want to happen, okay?

I nodded and thought about what he said. What did I want and wish for? Is it really that hard to think about?

'I want something to make the hurt go away. I want something to make everyone leave me alone. I want something to make me happy'

And as those thoughts ran through my head, I knew then what I wanted.

"An angel," I blurted out, "I want an angel who will help make the bad things and people go away. I want that angel to make me happy and I want to be able to love my angel. Also, if it's not too much to ask, I'd like that angel to love me too."

After we prayed, Tom and I both crawled into bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

No one's POV

Little did the twins know, their mother was standing right outside the door.

Simone had heard every word that they'd said. The tears were running freely and smudging what little makeup she had on as she realized just how grownup and unhappy her boys were.