"…" Her lips pursed in a silent gesture of unpleasantness as he peeled off his sweat and oil soaked shirt. He let out a soft, relieved sigh and swung his arms around, making her lips curl into a frown as the joints and bones cracked and popped.
"Ed…" She clipped in a chiding tone, her eyebrows scrunching together, making several more lines to go with her frown. She didn't like it when he popped his back like that. It was really gross.
"Hm..?" He hummed a wordless question, turning to look at her with raw gold orbs framed by polished and shinning gold that hung in thick strands around his face and down to his thin waist.
"Come 'ere." She beckoned him with a single, gracefully pale finger. He raised a thin line of golden eyebrow, but his ankles still twisted to walk over to her.
"What is it?" He asked, plopping down next to her, his unbound hair falling over one shoulder and in his eyes. But, with a well practiced hand, he pushed it out of his face.
"…" Her lips pursed again, her gaze running from the right side of his chest down his left hip that was hidden under loose sweatpants. She'd bet that he wasn't wearing any shorts, but she quickly dismissed the stray thought. "Turn around." She told him after a long pause between them. Once again, he raised a brow, but he half got up and turned, doing a 360.
"Better?" He asked, his slight rasp of annoyance mixing with a higher pitch of curiosity. He turned his head around to look at her through his thick bangs.
"Mhm…" She mumbled absentmindly, her tongue wetting her lips.
Even after all this time they'd spent together, she'd never gotten a chance to look at the scars that called his tawny flesh their home. (Much less get used to seeing them). She gently reached out and placed a hand on the still pinky, but oldest scars up on his right shoulder. They were nearly a decade old scars, but the memories that lived in the hard knolls and valleys were as fresh as yesterday…
She always felt connected to him, in a weird sort of way, when that cool metal would meet her cool metal body. It was like…he understood her a little; understood the pain and the loneliness of not feeling hot or cold, or the texture of something soft or hard, or the insecurity of not knowing how much pressure you were exerting. Neither of them knew if a gentle caress was actually gentle or how much force was behind a punch. Maybe that was some, small insignificant part that drew her to him like a moth to a bright light, like ying to yang, despite that he'd suddenly and painfully appeared in her life so long ago…
Her hand glided across his upper back, feeling the pinky and warped skin and seeing the images of ragging, violent fights in her mind's eye. Some of them she'd been the witness to the bloody gashes and the throbbing scrapes, other times, she'd found him, desperately ripping bandages and medical tape with his teeth to hide the evidence of their latest encounter.
Who knew how many of those came before they were reunited…
Her deep green eyes saddened as she found a particularly nasty ribbon of skin that ran from his right shoulder to trail off near his left hip. She felt him shiver slightly under her touch and she looked up to see him starring at her with an emotionless mask.
Of course he knew her curiosity was natural; she never had a body during that time that could have truly physical and painful scars. Maybe some secret part of her wanted to know how that knife had felt cutting through skin or how painful some of the knolls of flesh still were. She'd never outright said it, but he'd seen that look in her eyes when she explained on that first night…
"You okay..?" She asked quietly, breaking the long held pact of silence. He looked away from her, his hair shifting to run down his back in a cascade of ribbon gold. Suddenly, all the scars had disappeared behind the veil of gold…a veil of perfection. A veil of hardened body, mind and soul…
"M'fine…" He said quietly, his voice guarded and hidden to any emotion bubbling and twisting inside. She gently and tenderly pulled her hand from under his hair, her gut twisting as all scars were hidden from prying and curious eyes.
Now she understood.
Her lips twisted into an angry frown and she let out a heavy sigh, trying not to let her breath shake. He was hiding…hiding all of it from her behind his hair and behind all those blackened undershirts and obnoxious red jackets. Why did he always have to hide like this? Was he protecting himself from her…from everything? It made sense…
He was always like that…guarding and protecting himself from everything. It was the way he had kept on going—how he endured—through all the heartbreak and deep, dark, abysmal pain. He swallowed it down and hid it in his soul, burying it under everything and anything to try and banish it from his already bloodied and tainted being.
"Ed…" She whimpered, her head clunking against his gold covered bare back.
"…" She felt him breathe in and let out a heavy sigh. "Yes?" He acknowledged her, turning his head slightly to look down at her.
Suddenly, she grabbed his shoulders and swung herself around, dropping herself in his lap; she quickly clasped his face and brought his lips to hers in a bruising kiss.
"Why? Why do you do this to yourself!? Why do you deny yourself so much?" She poured her feelings and words she'd be unable to say into the kiss. He was slow to respond, just letting her lips move against his, trying to understand what she was getting at. She'd…never kiss him like that before. They'd pecked, clashed and competed with tongue and clicking teeth, gone in deep and felt and explored, but she'd never kissed him so…bitter sweetly before…he could almost taste it on her lips as she pulled away.
"Why..?" She breathed against his lips, her voice raw and so thick with emotion. He stiffened and felt a lump of emotion take hold of his vocal cords. He opened his mouth, but nothing, not even a squeak, came from his throat. She slowly opened her eyes and looked down at his closed eyes and scrunched up eyebrows.
"Ed…" She whimpered softly, reaching up to comb his bangs away with a pale hand. He reached up and grasped her hand in his large one, keeping her close to his trembling body. His other hand reached up and grasped the back of her neck, pulling her in for another kiss.
"Because…" He answered with a gentle, guarded press to her lips.
"Don't hide from me." She demanded, letting out a low, warning growl against his lips as she pushed closer to him. "I'm not gonna hurt you…" She added, backing off a little when she felt him stiffen up again.
Suddenly, he pushed back against her lips, his hand digging into her hair as his lips pushed hers apart. His hand let go of her hand and wrapped around her waist like a vice, pulling her body flush against his.
"You wanna know why?" He asked her with a sharp show of dominance, his tongue dancing around her mouth, finding every nook and cranny that produced a beautiful nose from deep in her chest. "You wanna know why I hide myself from everything that I love, including you?" It was more of a demand with the way he bit her lower lip and fell back, pulling her on top of his burning, aching body with a low, deep grind. She whimpered softly and innocently when he finally let go of her lower lip.
"You wanna know why?" He asked breathlessly against her lips. She swallowed thickly, not thinking about the abysmal plunge when she nodded. "Look at me…" He ordered her; she winced a little, but slowly opened her eyes…and all the breath disappeared from her lungs.
There…deep in his burning, all consuming golden eyes…was his soul bared out for her. There were no boundaries in those yellow depths and it shook her to the core…to her own soul. It reverberated deep down in her heart of hearts and suddenly, everything and anything fit perfectly into his delicate, desperate, broken, mended and child-like soul…
And she truly understood.