Naruto: Ryukatsu's Ambition

by JasonEpsilon725

In a world where most Ninja have incredible abilities, powerful Kekkei Genkai, their own Tailed Beast or inhuman levels of skill and power, one young Genin has only his mind. Ryukatsu Yamakuri of Team Thirteen has a dream, a dream of making a new world, a better world... And nothing shall stand in the way of his ambition. Smart!OC, NaruHina in later chapters.

1. The Day a New King Was Born

There was no time to think. No time to calculate, play the odds, change the rules, visualise possible outcomes, or even weigh the inherent costs and benefits of every possible action. The gates loomed in front of him like a colossal visualisation of the metaphorical crossroads of fate, taunting him, demanding he make one final choice.

Did he really have to join The Shinobi Academy of Konoha?

A short twelve-year old Ryukatsu Shogun looked up at those gates, his straight strands of rosewood hair falling back over his emerald-eyed face. He wore a dark-green shirt, loose black tracksuit pants held up by a belt with two pouches of training ninja tools attached to each hip, and black rubber boots.

It was time to make a decision. Ryukatsu Shogun had no Kekkei Genkai, no spectacular world-famous ninja parents(Both were retired, average, and only Chunin-level), and he only had a minor proficiency in Genjutsu, along with the precise chakra control necessary for that and possibly Medical Jutsu. He wasn't that good at physical stuff, like combat. Ok, fine, he sucked at physical combat. He could throw some decent punches and kicks, but practice spars with the boys in his neighbourhood proved a prolonged physical fight would end with him on the ground, getting beaten down until he surrendered or went past the limits of friendly sparring. In any case, he he was smart, and he knew it. Still, he appeared to be a support-type Ninja, if ever there was one. Would that be enough to make him a great ninja? Could he fulfill his ambition, to make a world worth protecting in his eyes, or would he die on some mission, another insignificant and ultimately forgotten name on some big rock that most people didn't even know the importance of, tucked away in one of the training areas few Ninja and even fewer Civilians visited? What, did they not like advertising the fact that Shinobi were not gods, and when even the strongest Ninja ran out of chakra, he was as vulnerable and mortal as a common farmer? Perhaps it would be better to give up now, and try another way. Maybe he could become a politician, or a diplomat. Then again, ninja skills would be useful for both of those paths, and some random kid from Konoha didn't really become either of those.

In Konoha, if you weren't a Ninja, you ran a business that supported Ninja. If you couldn't do that, you'd either run a business entirely inside the walls, or you'd shell out for exterior trade routes, knowing that at any moment, a shipment could be destroyed by bandits, your month's profits going with it. And if you couldn't do any of that, you sucked, and you'd better get used to whatever job you could get to pay the high rent of this Hidden Village's buildings. As for politics... Could he handle having to kiss rear ends and letting his owners think for him until he gained enough power to do something with a station that was meaningless if you couldn't use the power however you wanted? Would that even work, considering how unlikely the fat little pigs that ran most business empires and occupied high-ranking political stations were likely to allow some former Ninja any rank higher than he "Deserved"? Given the choice between that fatfest and an exciting career path where your abilities would actually matter... Becoming a Ninja was really looking like the best option here.

Then again... He'd heard what his father had to say about this place, and what that man's ANBU drinking buddies/sparring partners had to say about it. How most ANBU had to unlearn most of what they were taught at the Academy, particularly the taijutsu styles, and how it was designed to only teach the absolute basics... partly so that a Genin's Sensei could set their own training programs and tailor their real teaching to suit the individual and make each of their Ninja the best they could be, but mostly so that those who failed the Genin Exam and became ordinary Civilians wouldn't end up knowing dangerous Ninja techniques, only the absolute basics every Ninja knew... and even then, they'd rarely have much reason to use or remember them. And a great deal of it was also wasted on Ninja history, mainly focusing on war. And he'd also heard what those ANBU Ninja had to say about the Jonin(And even worse, the Special Jonin) that were stuck teaching.

So... Fight and die for his home and a shot at his dream, or waste away on lesser paths he wasn't meant to tread.

He made his decision. A young Ryukatsu Shogun walked through the imposing gates of the Leaf Village Ninja Academy, alone.

His first day at the Academy was mediocre, and a real letdown, though he wasn't sure why he was hoping something better than he expected would happen. They talked about what it meant to be a ninja, did a few physical exercises, threw some wooden kunai at targets, and began teaching the absolute basics of Chakra: How it works, how it's all around us, and so on... rather than anything useful and cool like Ninjutsu or Genjutsu. Out of fifty-two students in the footrace during gym class, he came sixth, he wasn't asked any questions during the lessons, and he only put his hand up for the questions he definitely knew the answer to, he spent his break times on meditation and beginner chakra exercises, and he didn't talk to anyone. He found his classes boring. Those classes were only for Academy Students. It wasn't enough for him.

Instead of going straight home, Ryukatsu Shogun spent the rest of his day in the Konoha Library, intending to get a head start on his peers. He ran all the way there, and began reading. He went home at 9PM, when the kindly old lady who owned the place got his attention and reminded him that he had a home to return to. He hoped she was just trying to be polite about asking him to leave, though there was probably some uber-sad reason for that instead, so he cheerfully sprinted home. The library stayed open all night every day, but she still wanted him to go home. He was still just a kid. When he got home, he told his parents he was studying at the library and he had to do it to become a great Shinobi, and they understood. After all, what kind of parent objected to their child learning?

Within his first week as an official Ninja, he had taught himself most of the basics of Ninjutsu and Genjutsu theory, knowing his class would eventually cover those topics and the less important parts he skipped over, he learned some good physical, mental and chakra exercises for beginners and began doing them whenever he had spare time, he began to focus on enhancing and training his ability to subconsciously use chakra to strengthen and reinforce his body, and he could soon outrun most of the ninja in his class. He could soon outrun pretty much anyone there, except that idiot Kiba Inuzuka, that double-idiot Naruto Uzumaki, or the surprisingly-skilled Sasuke Uchiha. Annoyingly, they were a little faster than him even with his enhancements, and much faster than the others in the class). Still, this did not convince him to stop training his speed, for to him, speed was the most important physical attribute he could develop. Strength might sound impressive, but speed allowed you to throw kunai into enemies while dodging attacks that would kill you no matter how strong or tough you were. He was still alone, but he didn't care much about that.

Within a month, he was learning D-Rank Ninjutsu and C-Rank Genjutsu, and he'd test them out on anyone willing to spar with him or get into a fight with him. Still, out of a desire to avoid tipping his hand or getting in trouble for hurting anyone too badly, he tried to keep things on the safe side, and just as a rather unusual book on T+I techniques once told him, he always prepared a 'safeword' before sparring matches began. Still, few people wanted to spar with him more than once, unless he promised not to use Genjutsu during the fight. He'd memorised the location of every bone in the human body, and their names, learned the major weak points of the human body, learned all he could from every book on First Aid, stealth, or battle tactics he could find, and he began reading about poisons. His body was soon in a fairly fit condition, fit enough to run a few laps of the Academy's playground and complete a few sets of ten sit-ups, and using chakra to dull the sensation of physical exhaustion helped a great deal when working out, but when it came to actual fights, his specialisation was still firmly in the chakra-related arts. And he was still alone.

He visited the Konoha hospital one Saturday morning, and with a great deal of adorable childlike enthusiasm, he told them that he wanted to become the best doctor ever and save everyone, and then asked for a tour and some free supplies. They refused, which he had partly expected. So, when nobody was looking, he decided to put what he'd learned to use. After all, he had given them a chance.

Konoha Hospital's had two storerooms, each only locked by a single padlocked metal door and a civilian janitor who Ryukatsu assumed was a disguised Ninja or former Ninja on patrol, but was actually just a civilian janitor mopping the floors. Ryukatsu assumed there was a hidden blade in the mop, but it was actually just a mop. Even if he was only an Academy Student right now, Ryukatsu was a Ninja, it wasn't too hard to get a rock from outside and toss it, to get the janitor to look in the opposite direction and search the other side of the room while he silently slipped past. Ryukatsu had also read several books on lockpicking and locksmithing, so a cheap padlock like this held no challenge for him when he was armed with a hairpin he'd taken from one of Sasuke's fangirls while she was gazing longingly at Sasuke, oblivious to the rest of the world. Precisely why did that girl feel the need to carry so many different hairpins around at once? ...Irrelevant, he had a job to do. He did that job, and ended up casually sprinting home as usual with two small boxes of twenty scalpels each, along with two bottles each of assorted antivenoms and antitoxins, several boxes of 200 pairs of plastic gloves, a small microscope, a larger and more powerful microscope that became even more powerful when chakra was focused into it, and fifteen plastic face-masks all stuffed into the many sealing scrolls inside sealing scrolls he carried with him. Everything else was left the way he'd found it. When the civilian Janitor saw the open door, he shrugged and assumed that some overworked doctor forgot to close the door. He closed it for that imaginary overworked doctor, and nobody ever suspected a thing.

Ryukatsu was tempted to hide the stolen goods somewhere in his room, then he decided they'd probably be safer hidden in his weapons-sealing scrolls. Nobody ever looked inside those, and legally speaking, nobody was allowed to look in them. He sometimes wondered if any other students took advantage of this, or if any non-ninja used these scrolls to hide contraband, alcohol, or adult magazines, but then he remembered something important: It didn't particularly matter, and he didn't really care.

Annoyingly, the Academy's curriculum barely touched Genjutsu. Ryukatsu had to research that on his own, and most books in the Konoha library spent their time and page-space warning about the dangers of Genjutsu, rather than offering up new and exciting Genjutsu ideas. It would seem he would have to come up with his own ideas... which he could do. After all, the books did say Genjutsu required intelligence, imagination and a strong mind. He was pretty sure he had all of those things.

After two months, he'd improved quite a bit. He was no god, and he'd probably never be one, but he deemed his current level adequate... for now. He gained a reputation, and was seen as the usual creepy know-it-all. He had yet to decide upon some variety of awesome nickname, epithet or moniker, but he had a few strong possibilities. He could use the Chakra exercises for water-walking and walking up trees, and began to develop a taste for reading books and talking to people while upside-down, standing on ceilings or on walls with his legs bent, his body performing stretches. He figured out a jutsu to prevent the problem of blood rushing to his head when he did that for too long, purely out of necessity. He was smart, well-read, and he had yet to answer a single question incorrectly on any written exam or any question he was asked. He attempted to learn Barrier Jutsu, but found that he didn't have the raw chakra reserves to keep any kind of reflective barrier going for more than a half-second, or make any reflective barrier larger than three feet squared on the palm of his hand. His throwing skills were passable. He couldn't remove the wings of a fly without killing it, but from fifty feet, he could hit the bullseye with most of his thrown weapons, finding it easier to throw them while moving. He knew he had an Earth Affinity, because his father had Earth and Lightning(Specialising in Earth. Specifically, high-ranking wide-scale jutsu designed to precisely affect large quadrants of the battlefield. His father was a tactician and strategist with a perfect record of over 30 successfully-completed A-Rank missions, and a not-exactly-perfect record when it came to S-Rank missions. Ryukatsu wanted to beat that record) and his mother had Earth and Fire(And some basic medical jutsu, enough to heal an open wound or neutralize most poisons, but not enough to be classed as a 'Proper' 'Official' medic or doctor), so he began learning and mastering various Earth Jutsu, rapidly working his way up the list. To him, learning a Jutsu meant being able to use it, and mastering a Jutsu meant practising it at least ten times and getting good at using it, using his Chakra Control to reduce the Jutsu's total chakra cost by a percentage that grew with each performance. He'd mastered a C-Rank Genjutsu that made the user much harder to notice when not actively being searched for, and began practising an upgraded B-rank version for complete being-ignored invisibility that would apply to sounds made in a five-foot radius. He theorised that he could pour in even more chakra, increase the Jutsu's power, and create an A-Rank version that was so powerful, he could activate it, punch someone in the face, and the target would get up thinking they'd tripped or been knocked over by a sudden gust of wind. If they managed to put two and two together and decided there must be an invisible Ninja after them, they'd still be unable to see him for a few minutes, which was a lot more time than Ryukatsu needed to kill someone, when a stab to the neck or heart was something basic logic suggested. Best of all, due to the way these jutsu affected the caster and put him in a shaped shell of raw chakra rather than affecting the targets and their ability to notice or perceive people matching his description, a Genjutsu Kai performed by an intelligent foe would not be able to end the effects of the jutsu. Still, he'd rather use that jutsu as a backup-plan, one of the many aces he planned to amass. Most Ninja, typically Clan kids, tended to coast on one or two powerful Jutsu, never seeming to notice that they'd be completely scre- completely doomed if someone figured out how to negate their best Jutsu.

But he was still alone. He decided to change that.

Ryukatsu wasn't an idiot. He knew ninjas were always assigned to three-man Genin squads with a Jonin sensei, and he knew the rules wouldn't be changed for anyone, no matter how much he'd rather have a full-scale Army under his command. Or at least more than two Ninja, and a Jonin that'd likely pull rank and ignore his strategies.

He knew what methods the Academy used to form teams, once he'd read about them in the library. First, they'd pair up ninjas with complimentary abilities(A slow but powerful guy with a fast guy, or one with grabbing/rooting abilities with someone with slow but powerful attacks, or a long-range specialist with a mid-range or close-range specialist), then they'd pair the worst Academy Student(Definitely Naruto... but then again... Most of Sasuke's fangirls were pretty terrible) with the best Academy Student(Probably Sasuke Uchiha. Shino Aburame and possibly Shikamaru Nara seemed like they'd make pretty good Ninja, if Shikamaru could actually get over himself, but the teachers here had so much Uchiha favouritism... Not enough to make things ridiculously clear, but they'd class his grades as 100% perfect in a subject if he was only 80 or 90% correct, and only ask him questions if the staff knew he'd know the answers. And to his credit, Sasuke wasn't an incompetent little turd, and he never asked for this treatment... in fact, he seemed to find it irritating. The guy wanted to improve and avenge his family, not feel good about himself or bask in the adoration of stupid kids. If he was an incompetent turd, Ryukatsu would find the favouritism far more annoying) to balance them out, then they'd pair the friends, then the rivals, then they'd pair up whoever was left. Anyone on the Civilian Council could request certain ninja be placed together, but they usually squabbled over getting their kids paired up with the best young ninjas to pick up their slack, instead of rationally choosing and requesting the Shinobi whose personalities and abilities complimented their own, and it was rare for their petty squabbling to actually be taken into consideration when forming Ninja teams.

Ryukatsu didn't trust anyone's judgement but his own. After all, they were not as smart as him. Well... the current Hokage's intellect might come close... and Shikamaru was able to beat him at Shogi and Go(But not in debates, or anything physical, or anything chakra-related. Then again, Shikamaru didn't really get into contests like that often)... but that was it. As far as he was concerned, those were his only equals. Still, he doubted either of them could help him with this.

Ryukatsu would have to do something the young bookworm had never done before. He would have to make some friends.

He shivered just thinking about it. Still, he'd read a few books on people, how they worked, how they thought, how to control and manipulate them, how to throw parties and how to be a good leader. And then he'd read a few more books on how to act in public, how to be polite, how to be seen as a good person, and how to make people like you. He remembered his favourite character from a manga he'd just started reading, who never had any friends before the series began, and yet things turned out brilliantly for her. He could do this.

He saw Naruto Uzumaki, who his parents had told him to avoid. Ryukatsu had observed him like a true scientist and watched the dumb blonde fail every task he was given and incorrectly answer every question he was asked. He then quickly decided to stop observing Naruto before he lost his voice from laughing too hard, or lost any brain cells from standing too close. He turned and took a few steps away, just to be safe.

In the middle of the schoolyard, he thought for a moment, mentally bringing up the physical and psychological profiles of every classmate he'd observed and cross-referencing them with the traits and qualities he believed a Ninja on his team should have. When he'd decided on the few best choices, he approached his first viable target: a young, bored and lost-looking Genin with navy-blue hair in a slightly-curly center parting and sad hazel eyes, wearing a tight navy-blue shirt that matched his hair, dark black trousers with deep pockets, both literally and metaphorically, and blue sandals. Hamada Suguira.

Ryukatsu stared at Hamada with a large smile on his face for a few moments before speaking. "Hey." Ryukatsu greeted casually.

"Hey." Hamada responded sadly.

Ryukatsu tensed up suddenly, realising he completely forgot to plan out the entire conversation ahead of time. Improvisation was not his strong suit. "MY NAME IS RYUKATSU AND I LIKE BOOKS." He declared stiffly.

"...Are you okay?" Hamada asked, tilting his head to the right.

"I'm fine." Ryukatsu said with a practised smile, putting on a slightly lower and smoother-sounding voice to try and sound more confident and awesome. Hamada's hesitation before asking if he was okay gave him all the time he needed to think up a few possible angles to work with. "How are things?"

"Uh... Good, I guess." He shrugged, deciding to completely forget about Ryukatsu's strange outburst. It was probably the stress. Ninja training was hard.

"You're Hamada Sugiura, right?" Ryukatsu asked conversationally, though with a glimmer of eagerness a well-trained Ninja could have noticed. "Your dad's on the Civilian Council, you're afraid of spiders, and you doubt you'll ever even graduate from the Academy... Which is exactly what you want, right?"

"What makes you so sure of that?" Hamada asked, getting into a boxing stance.

"I know stuff." Ryukatsu said with a creepy smile that suggested he knew a lot more. It didn't do anything to Hamada. Internally, Ryukatsu screamed in rage. He began to notice that the idiot's stance wasn't an official Ninja stance, and more importantly, it sucked. It left the lower body unguarded, the center of gravity was pretty high, and while you might have some good agility in that stance, a decent kunai stab from him could empty the- Ryukatsu realized he was getting distracted, and fixed that issue. He spoke, and as he said what seemed right, Hamada relaxed. "Anyway, you don't want to be their toy. You want to fail, get kicked out of the Academy, and become a lame, lazy noble just like your old man. You were probably only made a Ninja so you could be one of their political tools, something to give their words more weight in the Civilian Council. 'My son's a Ninja, so therefore I know what I'm talking about, so listen to me and only me!'. Sad part is, those stupid emotion-based fallacy-filled arguments usually work on dumb Civilians. However... What if I told you there was a better way? Rather than relying on your parents, you join my team, become a great Shinobi, do a bunch of assassination missions, get bounties, leave your family behind and get even more money than them?"

"And then what happens? Do I get magical eyes, too?" Hamada asked sarcastically.

"You know what? If we ever kill a Missing-Nin with those things, when I'm done analysing them, you can have them." Ryukatsu decided.

"I was being sarcastic. Why do you want me on your team, anyway?" Hamada asked bitterly, thinking of all the girls he'd tried to talk to, only for them to want Sasuke instead. The Uchiha's inheritance and clan coffers vastly outweighed his own. The Uchiha's strength and speed vastly outclassed his own. And that air of effortless coolness around him, the way he seemed to not even care how many girls loved him... even he was impressed. "Why not Sasuke-Kuuuuun?"

"Do you honestly see that guy following my orders any time soon?" Ryukatsu asked with a chuckle. "I respect his skill and all, but I don't want a loose cannon who thinks he knows better than me, and won't respect the value of teamwork. Besides, he'll be stuck with that idiot Naruto thanks to the 'Pair the best with the worst' rule I bet a civilian thought up, and one of his lame Fangirls to lower the average skill of the unit even more. Do not want. On the other hand, a team with me as the head, you as the muscle and someone else as the support might actually do pretty well."

Hamada straightened up a little. "Maybe, but... I doubt the price of a few cutpurse's lives will even approach the riches my parents have."

"Most A-Rank and S-Rank Missing-Nin have bounties exceeding 100,000 Ryo. If we got them all... Imagine how rich we'd be!" Ryukatsu said excitedly. "Imagine how rich you'd be! Why pretend to be their perfect son and deny who you are, when you can become a great man and get more money than they ever will!"

"I don't know..." Hamada said uncertainly.

"Imagine the girls! The ladies!" Ryukatsu said desperately.

"Girls?" Hamada asked, suddenly interested.

Ryukatsu grew more confident as he saw an opening. He settled into his rhythm, attacking that point as vigorously as he could. The books he'd read told him what to do here: Present yourself as a knowledgeable person that knows something average folk don't, mock some belief they doubt or reveal some kind of 'Truth' about the world they've suspected, and gradually saying what they want to hear until they want to hear more. The emo-tastic whinefest speeches of assorted fictional cynics provided the basis of most of the speech he formulated loosely in his head, intending on changing details and directions depending on which sentences elicited the correct subtle responses. "Let me guess, you've been lied to your whole life, and told the girls will love you if you're nice to them and you treat them like regular people?" 'Not quite', "Or that all lower-class girls are evil lying money-sucking barnacles, while only your fellow upper-class people are people good enough to marry?" He continued seamlessly. Yeah, now we're getting somewhere. "Both of those statements are total bull. For starters, how do you intentionally treat a person like a regular person? The whole sentence is stupid, it implies that those who tried too hard to get girls and did what they thought they were supposed to and failed anyway only failed because they didn't 'treat them right', even though no woman can decide how woman should be treated. Or that the unlucky guys are just naturally terrible people that don't deserve love, when the truth is they were just brought up on stupid fantasy stories about how ideal women think and feel, a fantasy that serves as a terrible training guide for reality. They were probably fed this lie by dumb women that didn't want to admit dumb or bad women exist, because if they do, it means there's evidence that their entire gender isn't automatically and magically pure at all, and they don't want to admit that their one and only positive quality - being born as a pretty and magical and special female human, rather than a boring and common and violent male human - might not count at all. Come on, Hamada, you're smarter than that." 'Oh, he liked hearing that'. Ryukatsu detected. "You're smarter than those idiotic hen-pecked civilian men, their hopes and dreams utterly dead, their lives already wasted when they're only thirty or twenty, slaving away at crappy jobs and eating cup ramen every night so they can afford to live with crippling debt, yet still buy overpriced jewelry to temporarily slake the ever-growing appetites of the fat middle-aged pet sows they're saddled with for life, the ones that seemed like The One back on their honeymoon, but are now so fat, they're practically The Three. You're smarter than the stupid husbands that'll blow their current savings on a shiny rock to placate the mercurial tempers of their shallow, sociopathic, emotionally-underdeveloped womanchild brides that learned as children that if they cried like enough of a brat, their parents would give them nice things, and if they acted the same way to their husbands, he'd give them nice things. You're smarter than those young Ninja boys dating older civilian girls whose only skill is looking pretty, and secretly hope their lover will die on a mission and leave them with a nice 'Sorry your loved one died' package, even though they only give those out for Jonin. Not that he'll tell her, because deep down, he knows that's the only reason why she's interested in a guy like him. Willing to accept an unequal relationship just because it's better than nothing, and you don't realize equal pairings, or better, pairings slanted in your favour, can exist... What kind of loser suckles at a pig's teat? Girls don't want kind, honest, mature, nice men willing to treat them as equals. And they don't want kind but spineless beta-male idiots willing to wait on them hand and foot, either. They see those people as the easy option, the safe option, the one they'll stick with after trying all the exciting, spicy alpha meals on the menu they know will probably burn them, but that's just part of the fun. Their old, burned-out bodies can be looked after by the boring options when they're done with having fun in life. You don't want to get stuck with an old hag's burned-out body, do you? All the girly romance novels written by women, for women, star average girls who rich guys suddenly fall in love with for no reason. Or vice versa. It's a fantasy, a fantasy where an awesome and rich guy will take interest in an ordinary normie girl like her, without her having to do anything to earn said love. You have to be pretty freaking awesome if you manage to make a woman think she needs to earn anything from you, but if you do, you can do ANYTHING to her, because she has no yardstick for this sort of thing. And if you get bored and dump her and move on to the next cute girl, she'll just go and cry into her pillow, also known as her pet beta. You have the money, sure, but you lack the confidence and power needed to play the role of alpha. But when you get it, you can have whoever you want in this town, or any town in the Land of Fire, and you can have as many of them as you want, because you'll be that alpha."

It was official, Hamada was hooked. This guy would probably take a mortal blow meant for him at this rate. Well... Probably not, that was pretty extreme for someone you only recently met. "Any of them?" He asked, surprised. His mind filled with visions of himself with a massive harem of beautiful women, his father watching and crying while his much smaller harem tried in vain to cheer the old man up.

"Any of them. Except Tenten, from a year up. You know, with the ninja tools and hair-balls? I love her with all my heart." Ryukatsu stated with the vaguely-emotional certainty one would have when saying something like 'Swords are objectively superior', but not the far more emotional tone one would have when confessing their love. Still, Ryukatsu was sure he loved Tenten. Sure, he'd never actually talked to her, but she was really, really cute, she seemed awesome, she had a good head on her shoulders, she wasn't a Sasuke fangirl, she she looked really good when she had knives in her hands and spirals of deadly steel danced around her, sunlight glinting off the metal that could end a life as quickly as they'd save it... so far, everything looked good. He'd talk to her at a later date, when he was cooler and she'd be more likely to like him back. Also, was that seriously all it took to convince Hamada to join him? Great, now he'd just wasted a ton of energy on that emotacular speech. Then again, it wasn't really wasted, since it probably helped tip the scales in his favour.

"An older lady! Nice!" Hamada said in approval, punching his shoulder.

Ryukatsu forced a chuckle, not sure if the whole 'Older lady' thing counted when the 'lady' in question was barely a year older than you. Then again, they were Ninja. Old enough to kill, and all that. Age restrictions were for civilians. "Anyway, you'll be the frontline fighter, I'm a Chakra specialist-"

"You mean 'Ninjutsu Specialist?'" Hamada asked.

"Nope. I'm a Genjutsu Specialist, with good chakra control that'd probably be good for Medical Jutsu, and less-good-but-still-good reserves that'd be good for healing a lot of people or Ninjutsu. But, there's no reason I can't train my body and learn a bunch of Ninjutsu anyway. I'd rather dodge a fireball than waste chakra negating it." He smiled, closed his eyes, and shrugged. "Besides, Taijutsu is easy, you're just hitting and kicking something. Even that idiot Kiba can do it. I honestly can't understand why everyone isn't at least somewhat competent at it."

"Hey! Taijutsu is complicated!" Hamada insisted. He sometimes had trouble with the more complex Taijutsu forms the academy taught to familiarize opponents with the most common fighting styles, especially when they demanded your feet went into certain positions and your left foot had to be directly perpendicular yet rotating counterclockwise as you shifted the forefront of your vertical axis... or something, and then you had to shuffle your feet again into some other stance that just felt goofy to stay in, while the one his father had taught him felt natural and right.

"Yeah, sometimes you kick stuff... while spinning!" Ryukatsu gasped sarcastically. "And sometimes you punch something... then you punch it again with the other hand!" He chuckled, and then he asked, "Speaking of Jutsu, what can you do?"

"Not much. I'm slow, I don't like running, I have anger issues... honestly, I'm amazed I even got this far." He admitted sadly.

"You don't seem like someone with anger issues." Ryukatsu pointed out. "You just seem like someone who needs a good friend and an awesome weapon."

"I get frustrated sometimes. And what do you mean a weapon? I'm a ninja, not a Samurai." Hamada mumbled.

"Why not both?" Ryukatsu asked, smiling. "A Ninjai. Or a Samunja! Or a Ninjamurai! Or everything! You can buy a bunch of weapons, and swing them at your opponent until you win! And explosive tags! Who knows how many explosive tags you can buy? And use? Academy Students aren't allowed to buy Explosive Tags without an adult or Jonin Sensei present, but I can Henshin no Jutsu into anyone you want for that. In return, you'll buy my stuff, too. But think of the money we'll make! You can spend a little of your parents' money on gear, then make a lot more of your own money with it! And, you can be yourself. ...And you can get all the girls you want. Chicks dig power. And money."

"Yeah, that's great. Now listen, all Ninja teams have two guys and one girl or two girls and one guy, so we need a girl and we need one now." Hamada stated. "How about..." He thought for a moment, thinking of all the girls in his class. One with bright, eye-catching hair popped up in his mind, though he couldn't care enough to remember her name right now. "That pink-haired chick?"

"Sakura Haruno? Let me recommend a book titled Two-point-five Billion Shades of NO!" Ryukatsu laughed. Ha ha, that pun wasn't even funny. He was never saying it again, ever. "She's lame, violent, and I can smell the crazy on her from a mile away. Have you seen the way she'll switch psyches between 'Sweet and sappy Sasuke-wanting Sakura' to 'Naruto-punching Angry Mob Member' as soon as she gets angry and the people around her change?"

"Uh... No." He admitted.

"Well, I have, and the whole 'Inner Self/Outer Self' thing she's got going on is pretty unhealthy. It makes one wonder how much of herself she's repressed in order to become what Sasuke-Kuuuun would see as attractive, if the repressed parts of her psyche have actually manifested as a second personality. I wonder if it talks to her, or if it just makes comments while she lives her life. I wonder if she talks back to it. I wonder if it could be used to defend herself from Genjutsu or a mind-based attack from a Yamanaka. I wonder if she has recurring nightmares where it beats her to a near-death state, representing her self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy, and then Sasuke comes and saves her by kicking its butt, the panicked thoughts of a mind that desperately needs her Sasuke-Kun. I wonder if she considers this to be a good dream. Anyway, moving on... She's 'intelligent', in the sense that she can remember pointless trivia, and answer questions with the 'morally good' nonsense that the instructors have already decided is the 'correct' answer. And she can repeat the answers fed to her on written exams. She's like one of those kids from a Civilian School: Intelligent enough to follow simple instructions, avoid getting their hands dirty, and repeat what they're told when it comes to multiplication tables and morality, and stupid enough to think this makes them smarter and instantly better than everyone else. But ask her to play Shogi with you, and she'll lose. Ask her to spar, and she'll say no. I don't need a walking folder full of trivia, I'm smart enough on my own. I want Pawns, Knights, Rooks and Bishops that'll follow my orders! And a Queen! For the record, those are chess pieces. It's like the way-better foreign version of Shogi they play overseas. My parents have some contacts overseas, and we love a good game, even though the pieces have stupid names. Anyway, Sakura's on a 'Slim quickly' diet, even though she's a growing girl AND a Shinobi and she should be eating more and working out instead of trying, and failing, to attract the attentions of a certain classmate. And she should try to become an awesome Ninja in her own right, not some lame loser who'll get saved by her teammate 24/7 until he eventually gets tired and 'Accidentally' doesn't manage to save her in time. I don't want a lame loser like that!"

"Come on, she's not that bad, right?" Hamada asked uncertainly. Sure, that sounded bad, but... she was a girl!

Logic had somewhat failed in this scenario, and so, it was time for what Ryukatsu knew would be a trump card against someone like him. "At her current rate, she'll be completely flat when she grows up." Ryukatsu stated flatly.

"On the other hand, how about the blonde girl, Ino?" Hamada said suddenly, having predictably lost all interest in Sakura. "She's cute."

"And already spoken for." Ryukatsu sighed. "Even though her mind-related Jutsu would be really useful for interrogation and mind-control, she'll be stuck with Chouji and his lazy boss Shikamaru."

"Well, uh... who else is there?" Hamada asked. "Those are the only ones who really jump out at me."

"Possibly because they're the loudest?" He chuckled. His new friend laughed, too. It felt nice, even if Ryukatsu did wish their first friendly conversation would be about something more intelligent than this. "Anyway, the only other girls are Hinata- Which I do not want, she's shy and soft even though she's from the Hyuga Clan, which is an unusual contradiction in itself. I'll be her friend or whatever, but she can't join my team. She's Hyuuga, she'll know Jyuuken and only Jyuuken, just like all the others. No room to make improvements. She can't be the Queen to my King."

"Okay, dude, that is the weirdest-sounding thing you've said so far. These aren't... dolls you can just... sew new heads onto, if you don't like the heads they have now!" Hamada said, somewhat unnerved. "These are girls!"

Ryukatsu only smiled in response. "You like dolls, don't you?"

"...Yes." Hamada said sadly, ashamed, his previous objection forgotten.

"I'm okay with it." Ryukatsu shrugged. "There are a lot of things I'm okay with. But I'm not okay with lameness. Hyugas are lame. They all only know Jyuuken. Once you've fought one, you might as well have fought them all. Once you Genjutsu them, you set them on fire, and they're screwed. Actually, I'm pretty sure the plural is Hyuga, but I don't care. If I'm going to win a Chess game using only three pieces, they need to be good pieces."

"What the heck is chess?" Hamada asked.

"I already told you! It's the foreign version of Shogi, it's a lot more complex, they play it overseas! It's a big hit in Crown Country." Ryukatsu snapped, and then returned to normal. Hamada started to wonder if this mood-swinging was normal for him. "Anyway, back to the task at hand... Hinata wouldn't be a good match for our team. Her Byakugan would be useful for detecting Ninja, and maybe her Jyuken would be useful for disabling opponents and performing nonlethal takedowns, but that's about it. The thing is, I know an enemy-sensing jutsu, so we've got that covered already. It's a pulse, it works on seeing shapes and sensing chakras instead of sight, so I can't see who the enemies are, I just know where they are, what they're shaped like, and what they are, so I guess it's not really as good. Plus, because it's a pulse, and I feel how it interacts with its surroundings, it announces my location to anyone within its radius that can sense chakra and knows what they're looking for. All things have some chakra, even inaminate objects, even though only Ninja can really use it properly. Moving on... I don't really want a Clan Kid, I want an unaffiliated Shinobi I can make into a weapon worthy of serving myself and Konoha. And get your mind out of the gutter, she doesn't need to love me, or even like me. She just needs to complete missions with me, and she needs to not die while on those missions. That's all. If she's cool, her being friends with us will be a bonus. Besides, you know who I love."

"Well, so much for the girls with the best hair." Hamada grumbled.

"In what world does that technicolour eyesore have-MOVING ON... Ryukatsu Shogun wondered, snapped when it came to the subject of Sakura(No, he was not bitter over her being called the number one academic student and not him, even though it was just because the staff didn't want the academy to look bad due to how low scores most Kunoichi would get if most testers weren't intentionally lighter on them for fear of a stupid Civilian mother throwing a Civfit), and then he returned to his thinking, seemingly calm once again. "How about one of Sasuke's fangirls?"

"No way, they like Sasuke." Hamada shrugged.

"Meh, that's okay. Having personal relations with a teammate would just complicate matters." Ryukatsu decided.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, what if one of us got her pregnant?" Hamada asked.

There was a list of things Ryukatsu was expecting Hamada to say, and that was not on it. He wasn't even sure how to react to that, though his eyes widened a little, so he assumed that counted.

"Do you think we'd have to take care of her and feed her until we can go back to going on missions? Or do you think there's a special section of the hospital for pregnant Kunoichi, and the Ninja doctors use secret jutsu to force the baby to grow quickly, making the Kunoichi give birth in a day instead of six months, so she and her team can get back to their missions sooner?" Hamada wondered.

"I... have... no idea." Ryukatsu answered honestly, genuine surprise on his face and in his voice. "What would they have to eat, to fill their bodies with enough nutrients to give birth that quickly? A day is way too short, even with Ninjutsu. I bet it'd be more like three or four months, if the pregnant bodies were modified to focus more on the baby's birth than the body's physical capabilities. Also, pregnant women can feed themselves."

"Good." Hamada said.

...Ryukatsu had no idea what to make of this, but he didn't feel like changing the subject intentionally just yet.

"You know what'd be a lot more likely? If there was some kind of medical ninjutsu that could transfer a fertilized egg or fetus to another woman's womb and get that woman to voluntarily accept it and gradually raise it internally and eventually give birth to it, so the donor could go back to her missions the next day while the superior Ninja genes were maintained by the jutsu, and the baby would be cared for by that volunteer on days when the kid couldn't see her real mother." Ryukatsu said, surprised that he was now giving genuine thought to such a weird subject. Maybe if they kept talking about it, it'd get less awkward?

"Do you think the donor would be a civilian, or a Ninja with no missions that month?" Hamada asked.

"Probably a Ninja. If civilians could do that, wouldn't there be a Union for it?" Ryukatsu asked, and realized that it was only getting more awkward with each word. "OKAY, WE ARE CHANGING THE SUBJECT BEFORE I SWALLOW THE SUN." He declared stiffly.

"Huh?" Hamada asked.

'Great, he stopped talking. And now for the third...' Ryukatsu thought, charging chakra into his eyes to sharpen his vision, his eyes scanning the playground as he released a sensory chakra pulse, which checked the chakra of everyone he saw and accidentally dispersed the chakra charged in his eyes in the process, causing him to have to send chakra back into his eyes and make a mental note of that for later. Nobody really stood out to his metaphorical mind's eye at first, but to his physical eyes...

That one. He thought, his eyes locking on to her.

Her long, straight dark hair was pulled into a single loose ponytail at her back with a horizontal fringe at the front of her face, a ponytailed version of a hime-cut. Her arms were folded over her slim chest, and her vibrant purple eyes were somewhat dark and serious, though not overly so. She was wearing a simple black dress with four seams along the front, back and sides, to allow her legs full range of movement, though it still looked like a dress when she stood still. Concealed by her dress(But not concealed to his chakra-sight-sensory-pulse-thing-in-need-of-a-good-name), two kunai holsters were strapped to her left and right upper leg. He could tell from the pattern of the ripped fibres that she'd made that dress's leg-seam herself with a kunai, and she looked... different from the other fangirls. Less angry/obsessive, but more... forceful? Regardless, he sensed a strength within her, a strength few others in the nearby area had. Not A TON of strength, but it was there, and it was better than nothing. ...What was her name again?

"Her." Ryukatsu decided, and walked towards her. Hamada followed behind him, though as more of a curious observer than anything else.

When they reached her, Hamada spoke first while Ryukatsu was still thinking of what to say. "Hey, are you using Ninjutsu? Because that smile is glowing." Hamada flirted with a cheesy smile. Ryukatsu's irises and pupils shrunk as his body seized up and he realised this problem would need to be addressed, and soon. Still, better it was dealt with now than on his first mission.

She immediately went on the defensive, unfolding her arms and bending her right arm over her chest as if holding an invisible kunai. "What the heck are you talking about? You'd better not be trying to flirt with me, alright? My heart belongs to Sasuke."

Ryukatsu Shogun facepalmed. "Let me do the talking, Hamada." He sighed. He then looked at the girl, smiled, and asked, "Hey, uh..." He paused for a moment, and remembered, snapping his fingers as he flashed a confident and friendly smile taken straight from a girl's manga, not that it seemed to help. "Ari Shinkiro, right?"

"Yeah." She confirmed.

"You like Sasuke, right, Ari?" He asked.

"Well, duh!" The girl snapped.

"Why?" Ryukatsu asked as he dropped the smile and looked at her with wide eyes, seeming to be genuinely curious.

"What do you mean, why?" She asked in rage, as if his ignorance of Sasuke's coolness was an insult against him. "It's because he's only the fastest, strongest, coolest, most skillful, and most badass Shinobi avenger OF ALL TIME. And by the way, it's just Shinkiro."

Ryukatsu's expression returned to that kind smile. 'Yeah, I've got my work cut out for me here.' Ryukatsu thought ruefully. 'Still, the wanting-a-badass thing isn't that bad a reason... Yeah, I can work with this. "I'm Ryukatsu Shogun, and I'm a genius. A real genius, not just some kid with a bloodline and a few high-rank Jutsu.' "What's your name, and why are you good enough for Sasuke?"

"Because I love him more than anyone else, that's why." She pouted, folding her arms.

"Uh-huh. And how's that working out so far?" Ryukatsu asked in a manner not laced with sarcasm, but casually and conversationally. It wasn't an insult, it was a friendly question, and that's exactly how he wanted it to sound.

That got to her, though she quickly covered it up. "Oh please. What would you know about love?!" She asked.

"I know everything. Plus, I'm a guy, I know how guys think." Ryukatsu said, willfully ripping off most of the bad romance novels he'd ever read(Out of pure scientific curiosity, really! Totally not out of a desire to know what love is) for that line and genderflipping it to fit. "Let me guess... You were told he likes meek, thin, submissive civilian ladies who'll raise all eight of his Uchiha kids while he's out on missions?"

"Yeah." She confirmed. "I mean, not eight, bu-"

Ryukatsu burst into laughter, and her frown deepened. Excellent. Make them doubt the lie. Make it a lie. Reveal the truth gradually, the better and brighter truth. Your truth. "Who told you that obvious lie? Some girl that wanted her rivals barking up the wrong tree? Sasuke doesn't like losers like that! What real ninja would? Come on, have you seen how intense Sasuke gets about training and combat?" 'Oh, she's seen it. She's definitely seen it.' He thought confidently. In a somewhat wistful tone, he asked, "The fire in his eyes, the fire in his heart, the way his cool demeanour just bursts into a precise dance of intense perfection when he fights? It makes his heart race, and he wants a girl that can do that for him, too. He likes hot, fast, powerful, badass Kunoichi in a sexy ANBU outfit, one that can will help him avenge his dead family BEFORE he can make a new one. On his list of priorities, avenging ranks way, way way higher than restoring his Clan. Or pretty much anything at all to do with girls. Right now, the losers pining after him like love-struck civilian farmers are so worthless in his eyes, he doesn't even think it's worth telling them to leave him alone. He'd waste too much effort forming those words, effort that could be better spent training or planning his combat strategies for facing Itachi. He wants Kunoichi just as badass as he is to help him hunt down his brother, and take out whatever teammate he has protecting him while the Uchiha brothers have a proper one on one duel, whether that's what Itachi wants or not. And then, after you both kill your enemies, overcome with passion and the rush of victory, you grab him and pick him up with one hand, pin him up onto a nearby tree or wall or whatever and you kiss him. Then you tie him up, take him to the ANBU Interrogation Rooms, put him on the table and... Well, you've read enough romance novels to know where this is going."

"He likes that?!" She asked in wonder. The thought entered her mind, she began to think about it, and the idea appealed to her. "And yeah, that sounds nice, but... but... everyone was so sure-"

"People are idiots. One is smart. Two are smart, if they're listening to the One. Three can be smart, if they listen to the One. But people are stupid, panicky animals, and you know it. It's like a flock of birds... they might be going the wrong way, they might all be idiots, but they never stop to ask for directions, because they don't want to break formation and be an individual. They want to be part of the flock, even if that means silencing the voice in their head called original thought." He said. "Become an awesomely hot Kunoichi that could kick Sasuke's butt with one arm tied behind her back if she wanted to, so it'll mean something when you do 'do the do'. ...Heh heh, 'Doo doo'."

Ryukatsu seemed completely unfazed by what he was saying, and Hamada couldn't help but wonder where he'd read about that stuff.

"Plus, if you do submit to him, it'll mean way more." Ryukatsu said, almost as an afterthought.

Shinkiro was considering his words, but she had to check something. "How... do you know all of this? And no 'I know everything' bull this time, ok? You're a guy. You're all supposed to be completely clueless about this stuff."

"The library's age restrictions don't apply to Ninja. Apparently, if you're old enough to buy kunai with pocket change and toss it into someone's heart on a battlefield, you're old enough to read adult books about love, and romance, and boring stuff like that. Except sometimes it gets way more varied, way more interesting, and way less boring."

"And when you say 'more varied'..." Shinkiro pressed uncertainly, clearly dreading the answer, but needing the confirmation that her suspicions were correct.

"They do weird stuff before or during it, to mix things up. Like this one time, this chick tied herself to the ceiling with chakra rope and then she used the rope to grab the guy's-"

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Shinkiro shouted, clutching her hands to her head over her ears as she shook her head.

"I kinda want to know." Hamada admitted, smiling sheepishly, and she looked at her like he said he ate corpses.

"Heh heh heh..." Ryukatsu chuckled. "So, what do you say? Are you ready to become a badass?" extending his right arm for a handshake.

She took her hands from her head, stood up, and hesitated for a short moment, before steeling her resolve. She thought of everything she wanted in life, and everything she wanted to be, and it With fire in her eyes, she shook his hand. "I'm in." She said firmly.

"Now that your diet's out of the window, you can eat whatever you want. And Hamada here is freaking rich, so we can eat anything. His parents are paying. So, want to get something to eat after school?" Ryukatsu offered.

She thought about her mother, and had an idea. "All you can eat buffet?" She suggested.

"You know it!" Ryukatsu laughed. He assumed her moment of thinking was simply an internal struggle with the thought of eating, and her diet feeling like second nature due to living with it for so long.

"So, what now?" Hamada asked.

"Now," Ryukatsu said with a pleasant smile on his face, "Drop and give me ten."

"Huh?" Hamada asked.

"Ten push-ups, now!" Ryukatsu yelled furiously, dropping to the ground and following his own orders, glaring up at them with the intensity of someone willing to snap someone's neck over an exercise session. They quickly complied, Shinkiro struggling when she got to number eight, ruining her form and causing the final two to not count, while Hamada just fell to the ground at nine. They got up, and Shogun waited twenty seconds to let them catch their breath before demanding, "Ten more! Now!"

"When we're done with this, sit next to me in class." Ryukatsu ordered as they exercised. "Now give me ten more!" He demanded, not giving them a rest period this time.

"You're insane!" They shouted.

"Oh, am I?" Ryukatsu asked in amusement, and then laughed evilly, using his laughter to cover up how he was already panting, even though he was using chakra to reinforce and empower his own body. He definitely needed to work out more. Maybe using chakra to enhance the muscles and their power wasn't helping as much as using chakra to stimulate nerve endings and force the contractions of muscles would?

Later that night...

Ryukatsu was alone at the library, as usual, two neat and very large stacks of books on either side of him. Hamada and Shinkiro were exercising at home.

"Huh. Well, isn't that something." Ryukatsu said calmly, surprised. He stopped flicking through the book he was reading, and stared at that specific page for a moment. It was a book on psychological conditioning, and it mentioned something about a 'Switch'. A 'Killswitch', to be precise. A technique where, through meditation, the user created a switch inside their mind tied to their emotions. When the Killswitch was on, the user's morality and restraint was turned off. This allowed a Shinobi to act unimpeded by moral codes or guilt or mental limits while on the field, without suffering any mental damage. He could do anything he wanted while his emotions were switched off, and be a completely healthy Shinobi when the mission was over and he was back in the village. Ryukatsu grinned, flicked through the rest of the book, and began practising that technique. He was smart, and his mental health was paramount. Crazy people often made stupid mistakes.

He began meditating, and had this technique down after half an hour of solid meditation.

Ryukatsu decided to test it out on his way home, when he saw a stray Alley Cat, which hissed at him. It was an ugly grey thing with matted fur, and it often scratched other kids. He closed his eyes, switched off his emotions, and felt everything melt away...

He pulled a single metal Shuriken from his pockets and flung then at the cat. The cat jumped back to avoid the thrown weapon-

Ryukatsu threw another shuriken, much quicker than the last one, spinning quickly in the air. Like a rotating sawblade, it tore right through the cat's guts and struck the wall behind it, hitting the wall and bouncing to the ground.

As if it meant nothing at all, Ryukatsu picked up the used Kunai and put them back into his pockets to wash off later. A quick toss of an Immolation Tag burned away all the evidence that the cat had ever truly existed. He walked home, and blinked as he flipped his Killswitch off and felt his emotions come back.

Ryukatsu's eyes widened as his mind returned to normal. He knew he'd just killed a cat in cold blood, but he couldn't find it within him to care, even though he wanted to. He normally liked cats, and all likable animals, but this... didn't matter at all to him. He could still feel, and now he was a little concerned about how he didn't feel anything... And then he got over it. The technique worked exactly as it should have. He had mastered yet another jutsu. He wondered if his teammates were making as much progress as him. He decided to step up their training the next time he saw them, just in case. Maybe something with training weights, like his books recommended. He needed to get some of those for himself, as well. And maybe a sweet Katana, even if he didn't plan on becoming a proper swordsman. Hey, a Ninja was a Ninja, not a Samurai, and he'd find it a lot easier to win fights if a bladed weapon was in his hand. Sure, he had kunai, but katanas were longer, and had that intimidation factor you'd be hard pressed to find anywhere else.

Later...

A twelve-year old Ryukatsu Shogun strode confidently into the Academy's examination room, for today was his day. Today was the day everyone would be assigned to a team. He and his teammates had been working hard, and they had all changed their appearance a great deal, though this was the new unveiling of the official outfits they planned on wearing on missions. Ryukatsu's rosewood hair had been cut into two layers, short at the fringe while the back was grown out to neck-length and pushed back and around, away from his face and out of his field of vision. He had an unbuttoned doctor's labcoat that was a bit loose on him, revealing a replica of a stab-proof black Chunin flak vest, hidden replica ANBU steel arm-guards on his arms that were extended to cover his elbows as well, loose black tracksuit pants, one belt upon which he had four large black hip-pouches and an extra-wide pouch at his back, and a single katana in its sheath all linked to the same belt. Two extra belts crossed over the main belt with two extra black pouches attached to each extra belt's side, and thick rubber boots with 'Steel-toe caps'(A metal-reinforced toe section, between the layers of rubber). The books said that ordinary Shinobi were supposed to wear sandals, but he never liked sandals, the toes were too bare and unprotected. Besides, his new boots were insulated against electricity, they had more grip than an average sandal, seals inside would provide coolness on command, and they had a very high melting point. And while they couldn't currently be seen, he also had two five-pound weights on each leg, two five-pound weights strapped to his arms, he had seals inside the pockets of his trousers and labcoat, his Leaf Village Headband was tied around his right bicep, and he was wearing a protective black plastic cup with two small hidden sheathed extendable blades on the exterior over his white boxer underwear. Everything he wore was for practicality, the added coolness he secretly wanted was an unintentional side benefit.

Right behind him was the team's muscle, Hamada, now dressed how they imagined a badass version of a noble lord would dress when he wanted to keep his asskicking capabilities unimpeded by the fancier decorative pieces he might wear at ceremonies and celebrations. His hairstyle had been changed, his center-parting had a fringe at the front and his blue hair was now in rows of small spikes like a bird's feathers. He was dressed in a dark blue flak vest to match his hair, and he had a black shirt on beneath it. He wore rounded aerodynamic four-inch-thick steel shoulderpads to give the illusion of his shoulders being bigger than they actually were, and he wore dark black trousers with steel kneecaps. He had four bags at his hip on a similar belt to Ryukatsu's main belt, but with no wider fifth bag at the back. Instead, strapped to his back, he had a sharp and regal seemingly-golden(But actually Steel affected by weaponsmithing jutsu to make it appear golden, because gold was actually a really, really terrible weapon to make weapons with) two-headed great axe, inscribed with small silver-looking seals which ran down the weapon's central pole, and had two large silver seals on both flat sides of the weapon's two bladed heads. The weapon was very expensive and worth every penny, even if it was currently far too heavy for him to use properly. Ryukatsu assured him he'd soon be able to swing it one-handed effortlessly, but right now, he could barely swing the thing in a straight line. Hidden beneath his trousers, he had one ten-pound weight strapped to each leg and a five-pound weight strapped to each wrist.

And then, the third. Ari Shinkiro. Her long dark hair in a ponytail was unchanged, and her new Shinobi Headband was tied around her waist, not her hips or forehead, like a decorative second belt. She was dressed almost exactly like a female ANBU BlackOps operative, with black cloth gloves that almost reached her shoulders, metal armour on her arms, a neck and chest covered in similar black fabric and a thick grey flak vest, dark grey trousers with large pockets marked with three weapon seals inside each pocket, and black hardened-leather dress shoes. While they couldn't be seen, she also had a five-pound weight strapped to each leg and a two-point-five-pound weight on each wrist, and she kept two thin and sharp extendable triangular blades hidden inside the interior of her shoes, and they'd extend when her toes pressed a hidden button.

The three made sure to sit right next to each other, right in front of where Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji were sitting, with Ryukatsu at the center in front of Shikamaru, Hamada at his right in front of Chouji, and Shinkiro at his left in front of Ino. Ryukatsu had them sit there almost every day for the last few years, hoping this would further reinforce the 'These three Shinobi should be teammates' vibe he wanted to give out.

"Hey, where'd you get those clothes?" Ino asked suddenly.

"From a store." Shinkiro said bluntly.

"Hey, Ino, you own a flower shop, right?" Ryukatsu asked suddenly, turning around and getting her attention before Ino could respond.

"Yeah, why?" Ino teased. "Looking to buy something for a 'special someone'?"

"I don't have any of those." He stated flatly. "I do have a crush on someone, but she doesn't like flowers. And she's not from this year. Anyway, many poisons are made from flowers. I don't suppose you'd be willing to let me take a look at your store some time?"

"Sure, but they're not free." She stated.

"Give him what he wants." Shinkiro said in a warning tone.

"Easy, I'll pay for them." Ryukatsu said casually, turning back to face the front of the class. "Well, Hamada will. When's Iruka getting here?"

There was a pause. "Wait, you have a crush on someone?" Ino asked, blinking in surprise. "Who is it?"

"I will not tell you." Ryukatsu stated.

"Is it-" Ino began.

"I will not tell you." Ryukatsu repeated with exactly the same tone and inflection. Ino frowned.

"There's only eleven possibilities to begin with." Shikamaru sighed to Ino, opening his eyes slightly and looking down. "If-

"If she doesn't like flowers, that rules out Ino and Sakura." Ryukatsu interrupted, a small smile forming on his face. "And most of the girls here. They all like flowers for some reason. Meaning there's only four possibilities left. You could cross-reference the personalities of those girls with what little you know about me to weed out the most obvious of the unlikely candidates, then list whoever's left, and examine my reaction to hearing their names, narrowing down the list of possibilities and hoping you get lucky. That might work. If I were the type to react to something so obvious and give away any information, I mean. Besides, that's just too much of a drag... Right, Shikamaru?" Ryukatsu said as his smile grew wider, becoming the smirk of a cat playing with a caught mouse. "But then, you don't care at all, do you? Besides, if you get Ino interested enough, she'll follow me in the hopes of finding clues you can use to deduce who my crush is. Not a wise move, considering how I feel about prying eyes." His smile grew into a wide grin. "Then again, do I have a crush on anyone to begin with? You have no evidence I even have a crush on anyone at all. I might just be screwing with you... for fun."

"...What a drag." Shikamaru sighed.

"What fun." Ryukatsu responded cheerfully. "But hey... If Ino was halfway-competent at her Yamanaka family jutsu, she could attempt to read my mind."

"Hey! Even my dad didn't get that jutsu down until he was thirteen!" Ino protested furiously.

"Really?" Ryukatsu asked, sounding surprised, as Iruka-Sensei entered the room, pausing to make sure he got the last word. "Huh. Well, ok then."

To everyone's surprise, behind Iruka-Sensei, there was Naruto, in a Shinobi headband.

"Hm?" Ryukatsu gave a hm of mild surprise, noticing Naruto was wearing a Shinobi headband. ...Iruka-Sensei's headband. There are only a few ways this could be possible... Ryukatsu thought. After eliminating the impossible and considering the two most likely courses of events... either Naruto stole Iruka-Sensei's headband and Iruka is pretending to not notice... but why... ah. Iruka gave Naruto his own headband out of pity, so he can spend one day pretending to be a real ninja. Or... there's more to this dumb brute than that which meets the eye... and he's earned the right to become a Genin.

"Iruka-Sensei? Naruto is wearing a village headband. Is he a Genin?" Ryukatsu asked.

"Yes, he is." Iruka said proudly. "Naruto Uzumaki has officially earned the rank of Genin."

"Huh." Ryukatsu said, barely even surprised. Internally, he was thanking his lucky stars he wouldn't end up on a team with that dumb blonde. Then again... If he could become a Genin, there was probably something new he'd picked up. Perhaps he'd mastered a jutsu that could compensate for his lack of skill? Or spontaneously unlocked some kind of ridiculously-overpowered Kekkei Genkai that would necessitate being promoted to ANBU Captain at a record-breakingly fast rate? "Is this temporary? Or has he earned this, for real?"

"Yeah, I earned this! I'm a real Genin, permanently! Believe it!" Naruto shouted.

"A permanent Genin, you say?" Ryukatsu said with a sly grin. "That wouldn't surprise anyone here."

There was a short pause, and then everyone burst into laughter. "Wait, no, I meant-" Naruto stammered. "I'm not gonna be a Genin forever! I'm gonna be Hokage some day! Believe it!"

"Is that so?" Ryukatsu asked, amused. "Well then... Good luck with that. If you do become Hokage, would you mind pulling rank and making me the head of... whatever I decide to be head of, at the time?"

"Depends on how much I like you, at the time." Naruto said, narrowing his eyes.

"How irritating." Ryukatsu muttered. "Ah, well, it probably won't matter in the end. You see... I dream of becoming something greater than a Kage."

"And what would that be, huh?" Naruto asked skeptically. "Nothing's greater than the Hokage!"

"I plan on becoming... The Daimyo." Ryukatsu stated with a small, confident smile, his eyes focusing on some far-off point in the distance, something that nobody else could see. "The ruler of all of Hi no Kuni, everything in The Land of Fire, the ultimate ruler of the greatest, largest and most economically prosperous nation on this continent. It may not have the most military strength... but I will change that soon enough. One Ninja may be equal to an army... But I am equal to an unstoppable military campaign."

"Huh? But you're not nobility, you can't become a Daimyo!" Sakura protested.

Ryukatsu stopped, turned slowly, and stared at her. "Do you think I don't know this?" He asked quietly. "It's a dream. Not a goal."

"Oh crap." Hamada whispered, eyes widening. Shinkiro smiled, and then stopped smiling when she remembered they were in the middle of a classroom right now.

"Do you only exist to point out the obvious?" Ryukatsu asked Sakura, stretching his fingers outwards and back, then clenching his fists, then stretching his fingers again.

"Uh..." Hamada said, quickly looking around the room in panic. His eyes settled on Naruto's headband. "Hey, Naruto, you've got a headband! How'd that happen?"

"The details of Naruto's promotion are an E-Class Secret." Iruka stated, getting a register out from the desk, a register containing the names of every student, their new Jonin Sensei, and where they would meet said Sensei. "However, he or any Jonin can share them with anyone they like."

"Only an E-Class secret?" Ryukatsu said, surprised as he looked away from Sakura and looked back at the suddenly-more-interesting Iruka. "There are no legal penalties for those."

"Because it's not much of a secret, really." Iruka said. "But it IS his to tell."

Ryukatsu had observed enough of Naruto's stupid, loud personality to know exactly which buttons to push. Well, he had a general idea of which ones to push. "Huh. A story like that must be pretty crazy..." He said, seeming open and surprised, and then he reverted to a faint smugness. "But I bet I've heard better."

"Oh yeah? Tell me you've heard better than this: Mizuki was a traitor to the village, and he tried to steal some Scroll while disguised as me. I helped Iruka-Sensei catch the guy, AND I kicked his ass." Naruto explained.

"...That's all?" Ryukatsu asked curiously, a little disappointed. He then smiled and said, "Well, if you owned an instructor, that is pretty cool. And if I knew I could have skipped the Academy by hunting down a traitor and tearing a teacher apart, I would have done that long ago!"

"Oh yeah? And where would you look for a traitor?" Naruto asked doubtfully.

"Obviously, you'd start with the people with access to the good stuff. Important documents, mission scrolls that could confirm when a Ninja did or didn't do something, important people so important that if they died, life would suck for the village. Then, you'd work your way down, in order of who's likeliest to be a spy. You'd check each one, without killing them, since we do have mind-readers in the village. Nobody needs to bring out the hot senbon or public red-light Mist Village stocks. After that, use the captured spies however you want. Maybe after beating them down if there's a fight." Ryukatsu stated. "I bet you could ransom their bodies back to their villages, or extract their secrets if they were something cool or knew something good."

"Obviously." Sakura said, unimpressed.

"Did we ask you to speak?" Shinkiro asked, irritated. And then she turned around, glaring at her. "You know what? Shut up and come at me."

Sakura opened her mouth to speak.

"No." Shinkiro interrupted, making a rude hand gesture at her, and then beckoning towards herself with that extended finger. "Don't speak, come at me. People like you talk big and accomplish nothing. What are you gonna do, throw insults at me? The worst you can do is annoy me, and if you actually have the balls to walk outside and fight me, I'll show you why that's the worst thing you can do. So come at me, or I'll never take you seriously as a Ninja, and neither will anyone else in this room."

Silence reigned in the classroom for a moment as Sakura's face made a furious expression, and then Shinkiro turned to her teacher. "Iruka-Sensei, I apologise for my outburst. May Sakura and I duel outside?"

"Hey, Ryu?" Hamada quietly asked Ryukatsu. "Why's she been like this to the other girls these past few weeks? Is-"

"She really, really wants Sasuke to see her kick someone's ass." He explained, interrupting what he predicted his friend would say. "It'll look a little cooler if she's not the one to start the fight."

"Oh." He said. "Yeah, now I get it."

"Today's the day you're assigned to your teams. Do you really want to show up exhausted?" Iruka asked.

"I won't be exhausted, and I won't hurt her too bad." Shinkiro shrugged.

"Maybe I'LL hurt YOU bad!" Sakura shouted back.

"You sure about that?" Shinkiro asked curiously. She got up, walked out of the room, and in clear view of everyone, flipped Sakura off. She headed towards the nearest playground, where the fight would take place.

All was quiet for a monent, and then-

"Cat-FIGHT!" Hamada called out in excitement, taking the path Shinkiro had taken. The rest of the children followed him, and so did Iruka, though he planned on watching over the fight, not just watching it.

"Yo, Chouji!" Ryukatsu called suddenly.

"Yeah?" He asked, surprised that he was called.

"This fight would go great with some popcorn. Got any?" Ryukatsu asked.

"No, I only have chips. Some barbeque flavour, and some salted." He admitted.

"Damn, popcorn would be awesome right now. Ah, well." The rosewood-haired boy shrugged as they made it to the playground, the rough sandy area of ground now serving as a battlefield. Shinkiro was waiting in the center, and the crowd instinctively formed around it. Sakura stepped forward, and pointed at her. "Alright, I don't know what your problem is-"

"What did I say about talking?" Shinkiro asked.

"I'll talk if I want! Are you doing this because I'm the number one academic student in this year, and not your precious Ryukatsu?"

Shinkiro said nothing, but her eyebrows rose. With her right hand, she made the Seal Of Confrontation, and then turned it to be a baring of her middle finger to her opponent, who angrily responded with the same symbol, followed by the same variation.

"Oooooh..." Some in the crowd said.

"She pushed the Ryukatsu button!" Hamada declared, grinning as he glanced to Ryukatsu.

"You shouldn't have done that." Ryukatsu replied, having understood that reference. That show was the best radio play ever, its writers living comfortably in Konoha.

"Sakura..." Shinkiro said with the air of a parent tired of their child messing around. "Stop trying to fool yourself. You're not the best Ninja, or the smartest, or even an okay Ninja. You're a stupid civilian girl with a textbook civilian attitude. You're going into a world where only the strong and swift survive, and you're going to be utterly useless to your team, if you don't end up outright almost killing one with your own incompetence."

"Dude, did you teach her that?" Hamada whispered to Ryukatsu.

"No, this is all her." Ryukatsu replied, seeming sincere.

"You know what?!" Sakura asked angrily. "No! I'm a Ninja too, and I'm as much as a fighter as you are! Let's do this!" Sakura declared, swinging a wild brawler's punch at her opponent's face. "Chaaaa!"

As cool as the visual would have been if she had grabbed that haymaker and miraculously negated its force completely, like people did so often in fiction, the power of her protagonist power and rightness empowering her in the physical clash, that wasn't what she was trained for, nor did she live in a fantasy world where the laws of physics stopped existing when they would be inconvenient. As a Ninja of Konoha, it was very likely that she'd have to fight opponents larger and stronger than her. Therefore, her chosen fighting style prioritised evasion and swift counters over blocking, and kunai strikes over pretty much anything that wouldn't help to get a kunai strike in. And so, while the pink-haired girl threw her wild haymaker, Shinkiro's much faster body threw a straight jab at her chest, aimed right at the heart.

Sakura stumbled back in surprise, and Shinkiro followed it up with a semi-crouching rotating haymaker to the gut. "'Cha'?" She wondered, amused. "What is that, your battle cry? Are we in a manga now?"

When Sakura's breathing had returned to normal, her body filled with rage. She swung her fist at the side of Shinkiro's face, and she leaned back just in time while smirking down at her foe, putting her own body weight on her rear leg, before ducking below the punch and springing forwards for a punch to her sternum.

"Check it out, it's like I'm a Hyuga to this girl!" Shinkiro said in amusement as her opponent struggled to breathe. "Eight Triagrams, Ten Thousand Middle Fingers!" She declared, flipping her off with both hands, and then uppercutting her jaw with her left. Now opened up, Shinkiro found it easier to throw a few more jabs to her foe's body in an almost playful manner, and finally, she went for a straight right that knocked the weaker girl down to the ground.

Despite the pain she was in, Sakura raised her body up with her elbows, and glared up at her opponent.

"You suck, Sakura. You're a weak, pathetic joke, and I want you to understand WHY." "You're lame. Really, really lame. This world is a violent meat grinder that kills people. If this place's Genin Exam was anything like the Bloody Mist's, you'd be dead right now."

Ryukatsu decided not to mention how the time periods were wrong for that, and the survival-of-the-fittest exams had been cancelled for quite some time, even if that wasn't really common knowledge or something cool to say.

"TRAIN MORE, YOU IDIOT! Do you even lift? Were you paying attention in Taijutsu class? This has got to be the lamest fight I've ever been in. I haven't even used any jutsu yet. You lack resolve. You lack determination. You lack a freakin' personality, too! Come on, you're supposed to be the smartest Kunoichi in class, right? Doesn't look like it, from where I'm standing. Come on, show me something interesting. Pull out some neat trick that could save your life! IMPRESS ME!"

"That's enough!" Naruto yelled, suddenly barging into the makeshift arena. "Leave Sakura alone!"

The crowd didn't seem impressed by this.

"What is that idiot doing?" One guy asked, one nobody knew the name of.

"What's he gonna do, embarass himself until she leaves them alone?" Some girl asked.

"This should be good." Hamada commented sarcastically. He wasn't exactly a fan of Naruto, but then again, nobody was.

"Okay, first of all, no." Shinkiro said, disgusted by Naruto's interruption. "How can you defend this loser? Don't you remember how many times she's hit you?"

"Yes, and I don't care!" Naruto declared.

"Naruto, get back!" Iruka ordered sternly.

"Huh?" Naruto asked in surprise.

"Look, this is a serious duel and our prides are at stake. If you take her place, you're telling her you don't think she can hack it as a Ninja. And you're undercutting my point about fighting for yourself and not intentionally trying to play the damsel role. I hate losers like that. Do you really think she's that weak?"

That wasn't something Naruto was expecting. "No, I-"

"This is something she has to do herself, I'll fight you later if you want, 'kay?" She asked understandingly.

"I don't want to fight you, I just-" Naruto tried to clarify.

"Wanted to look good in front of her? Look, I get it. But-" Shinkiro began.

"GO AWAY, NARUTO!" Sakura snapped, struggling to get up.

"S-Sakura-chan?!" Naruto said in surprise.

"Iruka-Sensei?" Shinkiro asked.

"She's right. Naruto, come back." Iruka said solemnly. When Naruto was back at his side, he whispered just loud enough for only the blonde's slightly-enhanced senses to hear, "Your heart was in the right place. Even if your head wasn't."

Meanwhile, Shinkiro was loving the idea of fighting a fully-enraged Sakura. "And here we go! Goodbye, sweet civilian mask, and hello, violent psycho!" Shinkiro said happily. "Good to see Naruto's dumb kindness brought out your dumb meanness as usual. Iruka-Sensei, can we get some Kunai?"

"No." He said quickly and sternly.

"Crap." She said, looking forward to a good knife-fight.

Sakura screamed and threw a punch at her foe's face with all she had, somewhere between a slug and a straight. Shinkiro evaded it and thrust a heel at the girl's abdomen, sending her down and winding her.

"Wow, you really do suck." Shinkiro said in surprise. "I thought you'd have SOME kind of redeeming quality, maybe some seal attacks, maybe some special move or jutsu, but... no. You're just the same boring, weak, pathetic, plain old Sakura you were so many years ago."

Sakura struggled to get up, but Shinkiro wasn't having any of it. Once she was up, Shinkiro placed a foot on the pink-haired girl's chest and shoved the her away, like she was nothing more than trash to a Kunoichi of her level. "What a disappointment."

Sakura tried to get up, and Shinkiro was there to kick her back down. "Sakura, stay down, or I'll kick your knee out." Shinkiro threatened.

From the ground, Sakura glared up at her, but she stayed down.

And Shinkiro watched her.

"Come on... Say something." Shinkiro ordered.

"Oh, now you want me to talk?" Sakura asked angrily.

"Yes, I want you to swear that you'll never lose again. Something cool, like that. Yell it to the sky, to the whole world! Resolve to train more, pick up some Ninja skills, suck less from now on, and to not be a massive burden on your teammates."

"Fine." Sakura growled.

"Don't just promise it to me. Promise it to yourself, as well. And to everyone here. Swear you'll become better than the loser you were a minute ago. Do you really want to be the reason whatever team you end up on fails all their missions? Do you want to get your teammates killed trying to protect you? And don't you REALLY want to kick my ass next time we fight?"

"Fine, damn it!" Sakura snapped. "I swear on my pride as a Shinobi... I'll never lose again."

"That's all I wanted to hear." Shinkiro said with a smile, holding her right hand out to her, extending her index and middle finger.

Sakura took it, and Shinkiro helped her up- And then pulled her hand away, letting Sakura fall back down. "Stand on your own two feet, BEEYATCH!" She called out, walking toward her teammates, extending her arms horizontally, and then bending her arms up. Ryukatsu and Hamada hi-fived her at the same time, and they walked to the training ground where they would meet their new Sensei.

Author's Notes: Naruto is not actually an idiot, but Ryukatsu has yet to see anything to make him believe otherwise. He's an ordinary Academy Student, and Ryukatsu has no Kekkei Genkai or any overpowered abilities, including the magical ability many OCs have, the ability to 'Just know' relevant information. He is not a Jinchuriki, nor will he become one. Implanted Sharingan will not enter his body. I do not plan on pulling some new clan out of nowhere to grant him an incredible power boost, or give him Hirashin. And no matter what weapons he may create over the course of this story, his most dangerous weapon will always be his mind. Also, you know how the views expressed in this story are not necessarily representations of the author or his views, and that usually goes without saying? And how that goes double for anything incorrect, and triple for pretty much anything out of Jack's mouth? (Some day, I will write that story, no matter what the second-worst fandom on the planet says. I have seen where hesitation and second-guessing leads. Never again.) Yeah. That thing that usually applies everywhere... also applies here. Your relationship with your lover should be somewhat equal, preferring an unequal one is weird. I'm not an equalist, but that just seems preferable to me. Also, I plan on making Sakura cooler, but not to a ridiculous wish-fulfilment degree, or to the point where she's no longer Sakura. Finally, I'm rewriting this. I didn't like how it turned out all these years ago. Things should be better this time.