Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games, Never Grow Up or The Show
This is a fic written for the March fic challenge for the Down With The Capitol Author's forum! The song prompt is Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift.
Last thing, I hate Katniss. I hate her with every fiber of my being- BUT this is the idea I got for this fic and, well…I should probably use it. Plus, at least Katniss isn't the main character.
-Mak
Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
"Mommy Mommy don't go!" Summer Mellark squeals as her mother turns to leave.
Katniss smiles and goes to her daughter's bedside. She can hardly believe what has happened in the past nineteen years. She is no longer Katniss Everdeen, starving girl from the Seam. She is Katniss Mellark, victor of the 72nd Hunger Games, Mockingjay of the Rebellion, wife of Peeta Mellark and mother of four year old Summer Mellark. Her teenage beauty has long since faded into the appearance of an attractive thirty-two year old woman; but the eyes. The eyes have never changed. They are still the same Seam grey. No, no. My eyes have changed. Katniss thinks. Because of Summer. Summer has given her eyes a slight gleam that was never there before.
Summer.
"What is it my dandelion?" Katniss asks her daughter. Summer takes two of Katniss' fingers and wraps her left hand around them.
"Sing to me, Mommy?"
"Which song?" Katniss asks. Summer knows she'll sing if she wants her to.
"Any song Mommy."
Katniss opens her mouth and sings a song she knows is Summer's favorite. Her friend Mandie Mason-Gellar had her listen to it and Katniss finally found it for her one day:
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment…
It isn't long until Summer falls asleep.
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that
Katniss envies her Summer. The four year old has no worries, no fears, and no responsibilities. She has no nightmares other than the monster in her closet and even then she just has to crawl in bed with Katniss and Peeta to make everything okay.
But there is nobody there to make things okay for Katniss. Every time she closes her eyes a flood of somniphobic images comes pouring down.
Summer worries about her mother. She tries to get Katniss to tell her about why she cries ands creams in the middle of the night. But Katniss will never explain it to her daughter. That would ruin Summer. She needs to stay like this; happy and carefree in the midst of a love affair with sleep.
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow
Katniss kisses Summer's cheek and pulls one more blanket up to her chin. "It's chilly." She explains to the sleeping child.
Things need to be like this forever, Katniss thinks to herself. She is so perfect as a small child. Nobody can hurt her.
You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14 there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
"Mo-om!" Summer whines.
"The answer is no!" Katniss shouts at her now fifteen year old daughter.
Summer scoffs, "And why not? Why can't I go to the movies with Derek?"
"You are not old enough to go to the movies alone with a boy!"
"I'm fifteen years old! I'm not some little baby that has to be protected from every little thing? What's the worst that can happen?"
"You friend Mandie went to the movies with a boy last year! Three weeks later she was holding a little stick with a pink plus sign!"
Summer is insulted. "So you think that just because Mandie got pregnant I am too?" Summer turns her anger at her mother to pleading with her father. "Daddy, Daddy please? Tell her you can trust me!"
Peeta Mellark clears his throat. At forty-two he is not as young and fit as he used to be. Nevertheless, he remembers vividly what it is like to be a love stricken teenager. Summer Mellark is much like her father in more ways than one. Would he trust himself with a teenage girl? Yes, he would. Does he trust his daughter with a teenage boy? Certainly. Does he trust a teenage boy with her daughter? Absolutely not.
The amount of trust- or lack thereof- he has in this teenage boy matters not. What matters is that his daughter his right. She is no longer a child who needs protection from the whole world. With a sigh, Peeta gives his answer.
"Let her go."
"But-"Katniss begins but is cut off by Summer's cheers.
"Thank you Daddy! I'm glad you trust me. Unlike someone." She says in the most snobbish voice possible and giving a rude look to her mother.
Katniss is hurt by Summer's attitude but acts like it is nothing.
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
Summer wipes what is left of her lipstick off of her lips before walking into the Mellark house. The fact it is smeared will give away that she and Derek had been making out- which her (lame) mother will assume means they were doing something else entirely.
Much to Summer's dismay, the first person she sees is Katniss. "Have fun dandelion?" She asks shrewdly.
Summer can't explain what comes over her, but something just does. She rushes forward and hugs her mother. "I'm sorry I was so rude, Mom."
Katniss returns the hug and says in a voice soft as a summer breeze, "It is okay, dandelion. I keep forgetting you and your brother aren't babies anymore."
Summer chuckles half-heartedly. "Mom."
Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone
"Suh-merrrrr!"
"What do you want, River!" Eighteen year old Summer shouts at her thirteen year old brother.
"Come on! Mom, Dad and Uncle Haymitch have the car ready. College road trip! Whoot! Whoot!"
Summer smiles. "Okay, River. Just…just give me a minute, okay?"
He nods, "I'll tell Mom and Dad. MOM! DAD! SUMMER NEEDS A MINUTE! There we go."
"Riv, you have to leave, too." She says as sweetly as she can.
River's mouth drops open and he realizes what his sister means. "Right, sorry Sum." He hurries down the stairs with the last of the elder sibling's boxes in his arms.
The raven-tressed eighteen year old steps into the room she has slept in every night since she was brought home from the hospital- excluding sleepovers. She sits down on her bed and runs her fingers over the quilt her grandmother had made for her when she was born. Gramma Everdeen explained that it was one of those quilts that the recipient works on for their entire life. When a major event in their life occurs, they add on a square of fabric over the plain white quilt. Summer can look at any of the squares and give a detailed explanation of each. For example, the silky black and scratchy white ones that are side-by-side are cut from Peeta and Katniss' tuxedo and wedding dress. The soft, cotton-candy pink square in from the onesie Summer was brought home from the hospital in. The square beside it is the exact same thing, except it is dark blue and is from the onesie River was brought home in. The black one in one of the left corners is from the dress she wore to Gramma Everdeen's funeral. The silky green one in the other left corner is cut from the flower girl dress she wore when she was in Aunt Johanna's wedding. The silky purple one beside that is from her best friend Mandie Mason-Gellar's dress she wore in the same wedding.
"Summer, come on!" River calls from downstairs.
"Coming!" Summer shouts back. She stands up and hurries to the top drawer in her room. She pulls out a needle and a spool of thread. She tears of the Panem University of District Four (PUDF) varsity hoodie she is wearing and cuts a square in it. She sews that square one the other side of her baby onesie square.
"Sum-mer! Mom. And. Dad. Are. Wai-ting!" River calls impatiently.
Summer puts the last stitch in the quilt before lifting it off of her bed. "Coming!" She calls back in a loud but calm voice. She neatly folds up the quilt and buries her head in it before lifting her head and taking one final look around her childhood room.
"I'll be home for Thanksgiving." She promises the unhearing walls, walls that will have no company but the posters of pre-Dark Days bands. Bands her parents never approved of such as Breaking Benjamin, Blue October, The Ramones and Linkin Park. Bands that meant so much to her during her rebellious teenage days.
But I'm an adult now. Summer thinks to herself.
"Sum!" River shouts from outside her bedroom door.
"Riv, I'm coming! My goodness be patient for once in your l-" She is stunned to feel her little brothers arms wrap around her in a hug.
"I'll miss arguing with you when you are at college in District 4," is all he offers in explanation.
She tells him the same thing she told her walls, "I'll be home for Thanksgiving."
"That's too long to go without arguing."
She chuckles and ruffles her brother hair, which makes him stop hugging her. "I'll call so we can fight, okay?"
River smiles, "That sounds fun."
So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on
I don't like the way this dorm room feels. Summer types in an e-mail message to River. It feels lonely. She turns her head to look at her sleeping roommate. Sure, I have a roommate (I have three) Tasha and Kim sleep in the next room. but none of them can compare to anyone back home. Tasha, Kim and Amelie are great (I admit) but I'd much rather fall asleep with Mandie in the bed on the opposite side of the room and have Janelle and Ashton in the next room. Heck, bro, I'd prefer you being here than me being alone with strangers.
Your miserable sister,
Summer Mellark
She presses 'SEND' and shuts her laptop. There is nobody to tell her goodnight. There is nobody to tuck her in. There is nobody to kiss her goodnight.
She makes up for this by blowing a kiss at the wall and catching it before I can stray too far from her and slapping it onto her right cheek. "Goodnight Summer." She whispers before tucking herself in.
Wish I'd never grown up
Summer Mellark is now twenty-eight years old. She has been divorced from her high school sweetheart Derek Kilmer for six years now- not that she is surprised. Their one week engagement and three year marriage was doomed from the start.
The only people she has left are River, Mandie and Tasha. She thought she and Amelie would be best friends for life after college…and she was right. Until Am died is a train accident along with Kim. Katniss Mellark died five years ago- the irony of the timing is almost comical. The year after Summer lost her marriage she lost her mother. Her father died six months later of a broken heart- so they say. Summer believes he just gave up on living. He had no reason to- both of his children were adults and he had no grandchildren to watch grow up. Haymitch died just last year (surprisingly outliving the pair he mentored.) The official cause of death was 'NATURAL' but everyone knew it was the alcohol. Effie Trinket is still alive- Summer thinks. They just haven't spoken in twenty-one years.
River.
River has grown into a fine young man. Married with two children under three with his wife expecting baby number three by the time he is twenty-four. At least, that is what Summer had heard. She and River run in such different circles and live such busy lives that she hasn't seen him since his wedding- and even then they did not talk much.
Summer sighs and looks down at the bar; sitting in the same stool she sits at alone every time she is here. I wish I'd never gotten to become an adult.
"Mind if I sit here?" Asks a man, thirty years old by the looks of it. The man is attractive, so why not? In fact, he looks like on of those "Seam kids" that the old people from District 12 speak about.
"Not at all." Summer says sweetly. "Summer Mellark. Pleased to meet you." She introduces herself, holding out her hand.
"Thanks." He extends his hand to shake hers. "Matthew Hawthorne, pleased to meet you too, m'am."
Maybe growing up isn't so bad after all.