AN:TO BAD I DONT own Csi and the characters especially Warrick Brown, nor do I own the Who (that be awesome! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, umm excuse me) nor none of the other recognizable people/products in this story! Dam it! Anyways this is my first humor/parody story! So when criticizing please be considerate of my feelings! (JK) But please be nice about it! Toodles!
One early Friday morning Dr. Johnson walked into her office and she got an urgent message from one of her patients.
"Oh lord, please not Mr. Duncan Hines today, first he says his cat wants to commit suicide then his dog doesn't like him and his goldfish wants to run away." She prayed, "Then there's his mother who is a stripper, oh God".
She received the message and walked over to her desk. She read the note and picked up the phone to call her patient.
"Thank you lord it's not him" she thought
"Ah yes, Mr. Brown" she said into the phone
"Dr. Johnson, I need to see you TODAY! Not tomorrow, not Sunday and not yesterday! I mean Monday hell I don't know! I need some serious counseling before I go postal!" Warrick cried into his cell
"Okay Warrick lets calm down, now, let's get you in today around" she was cut off
"NOW, I'm on way into your office" he said walking in and sitting on the long chair that psychologists usually have. Ya know!
She got her pen and pad and proceeded over to her chair near him. She started to draw and write silly things on the pad as Warrick began
"Okay, what happened today that's causing all of this?" she said concerned (yea really, she was checking him out! Well I would to, maybe even straddle him and talk dirty to him.)
"Well it all started when I walked into the crime lab"……………
Cath and Sarah were in the break room with Nick discussing what they were doing this weekend.
"Hey Sarah what you doing this weekend buddy" Nick asked.
"Umm probably going to Grissoms house to bug the hell out him, then get him drunk and do whatever" she said eating an apple, but she noticed a worm in it so she saved it for Grissom's collection.
"You?" she asked
"Well I'm probably going to find another hooker to sleep with or get stalked / kidnapped by some perve, you know the usual"
"Ooh sounds interesting! " Cath said looking up from her magazine
Greg was strutting down the halls of the crime as usual when he walked by Ecklies office ease dropping on him. He crept up to the door and was shocked at what he heard
"I know! He's so sexy; I mean those green eyes, his milk chocolate skin! He so delicious! I wouldn't mind being the milk in his coffee honey!" Ecklie said popping his I AM….SASH FEIRCE cd by Beyonce in his player while talking on the phone to his mother
"Warrick is too fine! I wanna be his wifey!" he said into the phone and finding his favorite song………Single Ladies
"I know mother! But still! You should see him! He is my lil chippe n dale dancer in my dreams!" as he admiring Warrick as he walks down the hall to Grissoms office while doing the dance from the video.
Greg couldn't believe what the hell was hearing or seeing, he felt so sick but was holding back tears from laughter as the same time. He ran like the Flash into the break room to find Nick, Cath and Sarah.
"Hey Greg, whoa were the fire?" Nick asked
"In Ecklies office!" Greg sound out of breath
"REALLY, SWEET! NO ONE TRY TO BE A HERO TODAY AND SAVE HIM!" Sarah said excited
"No in his fantasies! You wouldn't believe what I just heard!"
"WHAT?" all three CSI's said in unison and leaning forward
"Ecklie has the biggest crush ever!" Greg said sitting on the table
"ON WHO?" Cath demanded
"Okay but don't tell him or anybody else until he gets here, he's in a meeting with Grissom"
"WARRICK!!!!!!???" Sarah yelled
"DAM IT WOMAN! KEEP DOWN! And yes" Greg said
Nick almost fell out of his chair, Cath grabbed a bucket to hurl this morning's breakfast and Sarah just sat there and laughed.
"OH MY GOD, Ecklie, ew that's just sick!" Nick said holding his stomach, Cath recovered from her upchucking and added in,
"He is defiantly going to need some more counseling"
"Well it's the truth!" Greg said
All four were sat and talked as they waited for their boss and Ecklies biggest crush. Grissom and Warrick walked into the break room with all eyes on Warrick. Nick and Sarah busted out laughing till they turned red. Cath and Greg just smiled; of course Grissom was looking very lost but ignored them. Warrick did the same and sat down as they all looked him.
"Hey Mr. Milk Chocolate!" Cath said giggling.
"Well hey to you honey!" he said flirting with her
"Hey! I wouldn't be flirting with him Cath, certain someone wouldn't like that at all!" said Greg
"Yea, his wifey wouldn't like it! Don't mess with him girll!" Nick said snapping his fingers in a circle
"Whoa, who wouldn't like what and I'm divorced remember guys? What's going on here?" he said
Just then Ecklie walked into the break room and everyone but Warrick and Grissom froze. They watched him as got some coffee and walked up to Warrick and Grissom.
"Hey guys how's it going?" he asked them "Uhh Warrick, I love that watch, well got to go!" Ecklie said trying not to jump on Warrick (AN: he a good one! I would a been all over Mr. Brown! Back to the story!).
When he left, the four CSI's laughed so hard at the encounter. And once again, as usual Grissom gave them that "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AND LETS GET TO WORK PEOPLE!" look.
"Umm, Warrick, we, I mean Greg has something to tell you honey" Cath said
"Yea, you might want to sit down because it can tragic buttercup" Nick said
"Come one guy it can't be that bad, what's going on" he said
Just then Brass came in and sat down.
"Aye spit it out already!" the caption demanded
"But you, never mind, go head Greggo!" Nick said
"Well here it goes" Sarah said
"IwasnearEckliesofficewhilehewasonthephoneandiheardhimsayhehadthebiggestcrushonyou!" Greg said in the one breath
"Woooaahh, wait, say it again, and this time take more than one breath, now start over Greg" Brass said
Greg frowned and Brass pulled his gun.
"Whoa okay! I was near Ecklies office while he was on the phone and I heard him say he had the biggest crush on you, Warrick." Greg said trying not laugh
"He also thinks you super duper delicious! Yummy!" Cath added in nudging him
Just then Ecklie walked in at the end of the sentence.
"It's true!" he cried "Warrick Brown, I love you! I wanna be your wifey! I have dreams about you! I want to be the milk in your coffee!"
Grissom spat out Greg's coffee, while Nick, Sarah and Cath laughed their asses off. Brass moved an inch away from Ecklie as Warrick fainted. Nick and Grissom caught him before he hit his head on the table.
"MY BABYS DADDY! MOVE GET AWAY FROM HIM! LET MA BOO BREATHE!" Ecklie said rushing over by Warrick side.
Warrick came to, and everyone sighed in relief.
"Dam that was a hell of a dream" he said getting up
"Well you wish!" Sarah said recovering from laughing so hard
"What! Oh God" he said almost fainting again
"Oh no you don't Mr. Sexy Man!" Ecklie said catching him
Warrick snatched his arm from Ecklie, he yelled as he ran out the break room down hall out of the crime lab. The team just stood there, while the lab techs look out from their offices.
"What the hell was that?" said Hodges
"Who knows, let's get back to being not important" said Archie
"BABY COME BACK! We need to discuss our wedding plans!" Ecklie said as he grabbed his wedding bags and ran after him
Warrick ran to his truck and sped out the parking lot.
……………………………………………………………..
"That's what happened Dr. Johnson" he said almost in tears
"YOU PUSSY!" She said
He stared at her in confusion; she looked up from her Blackberry.
"Oh my bad, umm, well dam, you are sexy Warrick, and I don't blame him" she said
" You mean to tell me you didn't listen to the whole thing?" he said hysterically then he stopped for a second
"You think I'm sexy?"
"Umm yea! That's your problem, your too sexy" she said still texting on her blackberry
"I need a change of scenery, maybe a nice vacation to Miami, after I get a restraining order against Ecklie"
"Hey whatever floats your boat mister" she said taking pictures of herself
Just then Horatio Caine walked in the door and said
"Well it looks like you" he said putting on his SHADES OF JUSTICE and then said, " need to back your bags" just then the Who started to play Won't Get Fooled Again.
Grams shot up, and put her teeth in. She walked down the hall to her grandbaby's room to check in on him. She saw him shirtless and knocked out on his stomach sucking his thumb. She smiled and went to go fix breakfast.
"It was just a dream, thank you lord!" she said
The End