The Audacious Author
I put the stack of twelve small volumes down on the kitchen table with a thump.
"What are those, Klaus?" asked Violet.
"First-edition volumes of the 'Series of Unfortunate Events'," I answered.
"About us?" asked Sunny (though she had long outgrown one-word baby-talk, she still liked to use as few words as possible).
"Yes, these are the books Lemony Snicket wrote about us," I said. "They were first published as fast as he could write them, in a limited edition for the libraries of V.F.D. members. Now HarperCollins wants to put out a mass-market edition. The first book will come out in 1999 and they'll release one more every few months to build up interest."
"Why would anyone want to read about our misfortunes?" asked Violet in a very displeased tone.
"That's what Lemony kept saying in the books, but people seem to like sad stories," I replied. "The publisher expects them to be very popular. They sent these for us to review and revise if we want to. I've been skimming through them this afternoon."
"Accurate?" asked Sunny.
"Remarkably," I said, "Considering he wrote them all from circumstantial evidence. There are a few details wrong here and there, but the main facts are correct. It might be good to update them in a few places, though."
"What do you mean?" asked Violet.
I opened the book called "The Austere Academy" and flipped to the sixth chapter. I read: "When the Baudelaires woke up early the next morning and walked to the administrative building to talk to Nero about Coach Genghis, they found the grounds empty and silent, as if Prufrock Preparatory School had been closed for many years,"
"I think that if Lemony Snicket were still alive today he would want to foreshadow the future, describe Prufrock as it is now. He might say 'Prufrock Preparatory School is now closed. It has been closed for many years, ever since Mrs. Bass was arrested for bank robbery...' and then tie that in with the school's deserted appearance that morning."
"I don't have time to revise books," Violet said. "I have to work. More orders are coming in than Hector, Fiona, Fernald and I can deal with. And I still need to help Hector with his new floating ship in my spare time."
I didn't press her. It had been hard on all of us when Violet came of age and we discovered that we had no fortune left, that Mr. Poe had embezzled it all. Her repair business was bringing in enough to get by, but not much more. On top of that, there was the tragic business with Duncan and Quigley last year. Isadora blamed us for Violet's part in the love triangle that left one of her brothers dead and the other in prison, and she was no longer speaking to any of us.
"Cooking classes," said Sunny. It seemed that she, too, did not want to be reminded of unpleasant times by checking over the books.
"I guess it's up to me," I said. "I have some time during the break in my graduate studies. And there's something more I want to do. The series seems incomplete with only twelve books. I will make it my solemn duty to write the story of the life of this unhappy man who gave his life to write ours."
"Isn't there an Unauthorized Autobiography already?" Violet asked.
"Scraps of disjointed material, that's all they have. I want to research his life and tie it all together in a new volume. I'll call it 'The Audacious Author'."