I wrote this in a rush, so IDK how much sense it makes. All mistakes are mine.
If you're curious, I listened to the song 'Superman' by Rachel Platten while writing this. It's very SuperCat.
I wrote this in response to my own question that I posted earlier: What are the odds of Cat winning Kara's affections before James pulls his head out of his ass?
Canonically I'd say those odds are very low. Here, though? …
Since that first night on the balcony after the red kryptonite left her body, Kara has returned every night for solace and advice. To talk, or just sit in silence with someone who, by some miracle, still wants her around.
They spend hours out there some nights, when Carter's with his dad. The boy hasn't been able to forgive his former idol, but Cat shares some things from her meetings with Supergirl, things that aren't too private or too dark for him, hoping one day to bring him back around to her side. She hopes one day she'll be able to bring the CatCo brand back around as well, but as of now that's out of the question.
Kara doesn't have much else to occupy her time these days. She's taken a step back from helping with the everyday emergencies of city life, waiting instead to intervene only when aliens or natural disasters or another nuclear weapon threaten their lives.
J'onn convinced Alex to hide the fact that she knew about his secret identity, meaning she's become the acting head of the DEO, at least until someone higher up appoints a General Lane-type to run the organization. And because Alex is so convinced that everything Kara said to her that night at the apartment was true – despite Kara's continued insistence that she hasn't thought most of those things since they were kids, and the rest had only been invented by her red kryptonite addled brain simply because she knew they would hurt her – Alex remained adamant in working through all of the problems that that night had dredged up. And Kara's mostly fine with that, because it's probably true that there are things in their relationship that they can work on, as is the case with most relationships.
But now Alex refuses to call on Supergirl for help unless the situation absolutely demands it; both because most of the agents no longer trust the superhero and also because she doesn't want to come across as controlling. So, seeing as how the DEO managed just fine for decades before Supergirl hit the scene, there really hasn't been much for her to do.
And to top it all off, she has no idea how to talk to her sister anymore. She's afraid anything she says could further the rift between them.
James is barely speaking to her beyond work stuff, and Winn is still seeing Siobhan on the regular; of course she demanded that he stay away from her, and Kara will admit she's more than a little hurt he agreed. Out of all the damage she caused that week, Siobhan and Winn were at the very bottom of the list.
Still, Kara hates that she's managed to push everyone closest to her so far away, and she has no idea how to get any of them back.
Everyone, that is, except for Cat.
Cat, whom she hurt probably worse than anyone that week – just tossed this woman with acrophobia, which no amount of cliff jumping could completely rid her of, off the fortieth floor of a building – who managed to forgive her implicitly, and who actively encourages her continued presence, in the very place Kara had betrayed her so horribly no less.
Kara didn't understand any of it one bit, but she was grateful for it nonetheless.
One night, after almost a week of their talks, Cat slips and calls her Kara. Not Supergirl, not even Keira. Just a sympathetic breath of, "Kara," after a particularly self-deprecating comment from the young woman.
Kara is completely floored. "Miss Grant, I...
"Oh honestly, Keira." Kara gives her a pointed look at the name. "What? It might as well be a term of endearment at this point." She looks away, feeling awkward about the admission. She clears her throat. "Even if I had been fully convinced by your stunt double performance in my office all those weeks ago – which, to be clear, I wasn't – the fact that Keira-the-assistant gained a new personality the same week as Supergirl, and that she mysteriously disappeared the morning after the hero threw me from this very balcony, would have been a pretty damn big clue."
Kara hangs her head, nodding her concession because really, what's the point of keeping the secret from her anymore? It's not like there's any more risk of Cat firing her so she can be Supergirl full time – literally no one in this city would be happy about that. And she's already had plenty of opportunities in the last week to publish any number of Supergirl's deepest, most personal secrets that don't revolve around her alter ego. Yet she's kept them all safe; Kara has no reason to believe this secret will be any different.
So even more nights are spent like this, and now Kara doesn't have to hold anything back. Their talks gradually move away from the edge of the balcony – Kara continues to be impressed that Cat can stand even being out there, let alone at the edge and in her presence no less, though Cat Grant is admittedly the most impressive human she's ever met – to the chairs tucked away in the corner. Kara talks and Cat drinks, occasionally cutting in with advice or admonishment, depending on Kara's level of self-pity.
She tells Cat stories of her childhood on Krypton; about the worst day of her life, when she was forced into the vast emptiness of outer space and away from everything she'd ever known and loved; getting lost in a black hole and sleeping for twenty four years; finally arriving on Earth only to learn that the sole purpose left in her life, her baby cousin, had already grown up without her. Neither of them acknowledges the tear running down Cat's cheek at the story.
They're both crying silently when Kara tells her about the Black Mercy, about the pain of losing everything all over again; and then losing her beloved aunt, estranged or not, only hours later at the hands of her sister, her most favorite person in the universe.
Cat realizes this was the day Kara broke so many of her rules. She realizes that it wasn't Kara at all. Cat apologizes brokenheartedly for everything that came after.
And then she hugs her.
It's been weeks since anyone felt comfortable enough to touch Kara, pat her on the shoulder or hold her hand, let alone wrap their arms around her in a tight embrace. She'd almost forgotten how much she loves human contact. On instinct she turns her face into Cat's neck and sobs. She doesn't return the hug, though; she doesn't feel she's earned that right.
And as time goes by Kara begins to notices a change. It's gradual enough at first that she doesn't recognize what's happening, that the fondness she feels for Cat Grant is anything more than gratitude for her being there during such a difficult time.
"Hey, we haven't had a TV night in a while," Alex mentions tentatively after one of the scant times she's called Kara into the DEO. Vasquez and the few other agents who can still stand to go out on a mission with Kara have taken their latest Fort Rozz capture to a cell, leaving the Danvers sisters with a rare moment alone. "I was thinking I could come over tonight. We could order in and finish binge-watching Jessica Jones."
"Um, actually, I can't tonight." Kara sounds somewhat regretful, but also kind of relieved to already have plans. Alex glances down at her feet so her sister won't see the hurt in her eyes.
"Oh? Who with?" She tries to sound casual, but her voice is a few octaves too high.
"Uh, no- no one." Alex furrows her brow suspiciously. "I mean, I've just been talking to someone about, about everything." Kara isn't sure why she doesn't just tell Alex who she's spending time with. Okay, so her sister's not exactly the biggest Cat Grant fan, but that doesn't feel like the whole reason she's keeping it to herself.
"Like a therapist?" Alex sounds dubious.
Kara wants to laugh, because Cat recently brought up the idea of therapy again. "Dr. Schuman really is very good, Kara. And doctor/patient confidentiality means your secret would be completely safe," she added when she could tell Kara was going to argue the point about keeping secrets in therapy.
"I'll be okay, Cat, really." She had been overwhelmed with the idea of addressing her boss so informally when Cat first asked it of her. She's slowly been getting used to it, and it still gives her a small thrill to be on a first name basis with the woman after so long. "Talking to you has already helped a lot." Cat had rolled her eyes at that, hoping Kara wouldn't noticed her blush.
(She had of course, and has since spent an inordinate amount of time pondering its meaning.)
"Kinda, I guess," Kara responds to Alex. "Just, someone I trust, who's really good at listening and giving advice." Alex feels like she's been punched in the stomach, because that used to be her. Then she realizes all that Kara's said. Someone she trusts?
"Hang on, does this person know your secret?" Kara looks away, and her silence is answer enough. "Kara!"
"Alex, it's fine. Please just trust me." Kara takes off before her sister can argue any more.
After that Kara becomes more aware of her interactions with Cat; the small, familiar touches they share in their moments alone; how they sit closer together now when they talk; how Kara's heart flutters and her stomach swoops and she's almost always smiling at least a little in Cat's presence.
She recognizes the signs for what they are. Kara's never been one to deny her own feelings, at least to herself. She doesn't see the point. She's going to feel them either way, so she might as well embrace them. (Facing everyone else's opinions on her feelings, however, is a whole different story.)
It isn't long after this realization that James comes to her, finally ready to talk.
"I'm sorry for how I acted that day in my office," he starts. Her arms are crossed protectively around her waist, and she nods without meeting his eyes. "And for avoiding you every day since," he hastily adds on.
"I forgive you," she says, finally looking at him. He smiles warmly. "And I meant what I said that day." His grin widens hopefully. "About Lucy. About not thinking those awful things about her. I think she's a really great person, and I liked being friends with her."
"So, I was wondering, well hoping, really, that we could get dinner sometime. You know, like a date?"
Kara's heart sinks. She swallows, knowing how hard this will be. She just hopes it's better than what happened with Winn.
"Listen, James." His brow furrows, not understanding her tone. "I… After what happened in your office, what was said, I just…" She pauses, trying to figure out how exactly to verbalize what she had felt. "I realized that there always seems to be something standing in our way. Like, we had a chance when you first got here, but then you chose Lucy."
"Well, yeah, but she was my ex. There were still a lot of feelings there, Kara."
She sighs, frustrated at being interrupted. "I know, and I get that. And I did my best to ignore how jealous I was, to just be happy for you, because you're both great people and you deserve that. And I know I acted horribly under the red kryptonite. But instead of talking to me about that, like someone who wanted to be with me, or even just like a friend, you pushed me away. So, I can't help feeling that all of this means we just shouldn't be together."
James rears back like he's been slapped. She immediately wants to apologize for hurting him, but a voice in her head – which sounds suspiciously like Cat – points out that it's an unfair double-standard that women feel the need to apologize for their feelings, that she's entitled to them and she doesn't have to accommodate herself for everyone else.
"I would still really like for us to be friends," she adds, smiling sadly as she turns back to her computer.
This is where things stand when Cat finally convinces Lucy to come back to CatCo, with a conversation not unlike the one they had when Cat first hired her. She already gave up her job once to be with James; why should she give up another to avoid him?
This time Cat was generous enough to give her an office a few floors down. Still, Cat calls her up on the first day to finish going over some paperwork, and as she's leaving she of course bumps into James.
"Oh, hey," he greets uncertainly.
"Hi." She sounds resigned. She had hoped she wouldn't see him so soon.
"So, you're back."
"Yep." It's then Kara comes scurrying out of the elevator – Cat's elevator, Lucy notes in shock – balancing Cat's dry cleaning and two take out containers from Noonan's. "So, a lot's changed around here, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess you could say that. Supergirl's breakdown really shook everyone up."
Lucy hums noncommittally, still observing the blonde with shrewd eyes. "So, how are things going with you and Kara?" she asks reluctantly.
"Uh," he laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "They're… not, really."
"What?" Her eyebrows almost disappear into her hairline. She sounds offended. "I broke up with you so you two could be happy together, and you're telling me you're too chicken shit to do something about it?"
"Whoa, hey, I did!" He's holding his hands up defensively. He conveniently leaves out the part where he didn't talk to her for nearly a month. "She shot me down."
"Seriously? I don't believe that for a min-" She trails off, though, when she catches sight of the exchange happening in Cat's office. Her and Kara are seated on the same couch, angled to face one another, their knees touching while they eat their lunch and seemingly discuss the layouts spread over the coffee table. "Oh."
"Oh? Oh what?" James follows her lines of sight. "What are you talking about?"
She lets out an exasperated sigh, even as she smiles at the obvious affection between the two women.
Well so this got a lot longer than I was expecting. I don't know that I've ever banged out this many words so quickly before. I just had a lot of Feelings, y'know? Especially about that ending. And I wanted to share them, because.