Michael's mouth dropped opened the second he saw him; although he quickly closed it to avoid giving his tormenters any future ammunition. It was only the second week of classes his freshman year and already high school was hell; despite his hopes at a chance to re-invent himself this year, it was clear the comic-loving, hopelessly awkward, slightly effeminate Italian boy was not winning any popularity contest at Liberty High School. Looking around the classroom to see if anyone noticed his reaction, he squirmed in his seat thankful the desk was proving cover for the growing bulge in his chinos. He adjusted himself discreetly. The boy was tall, unlike Michael, clearly the blessed recipient of an early-puberty growth spurt. Although slightly too slim, he had an athletic form not so unlike other boys at fourteen, but this kid was somehow different. Sure he had a manly angled chin, piercing eyes that captivated you but it was the way that he carried himself with a cocky confidence that oozed sex appeal. Michael noticed the girls in his class were practically drooling. Michael was instantly thankful he had sat towards the front of class when after Mrs. Edison introduced the new student and instructed him to take a seat, a quick survey of the classroom revealed the only available seat, as Michael's luck would have it, was right next to his.
Mrs. Edison launched into the ninth-grade reading curriculum, Romeo and Juliet, but Michael was transfixed on Brian's profile staring at the boy's lips. Having no interest in the subject matter, Brian, took in his new surroundings. He caught a glimpse of Michael and noticing he had the boy's attention; he slowly made eye contact side-ways at the gawking boy and quickly redirected his attention to the teacher as to communicate a "fuck-off". Michael continued to stare intermittently and was only briefly paying attention when Mrs. Edison assigned their next project. The bell rang and Michael was snapped back to reality.
"So when do you want to do this?" Brian said shifting to look at his admirer as he gathered up his belongings.
"Huh?" Michael responded, clearly clueless.
Brian smiled, gaining a twisted sense of satisfaction from this boy's obvious attraction to him, he briefly considered really toying with him but resisted. "Was it a particularly difficult question?" he asked getting slightly closer than normal speaking distance.
"Do what?" Michael stammered lowering his book to a suspicious position in front of his crotch.
Brian looked the boy up and down, slowly. He rose an eyebrow at him fully aware just how uncomfortable he was making him. He's not bad-looking, kind of sweet in fact; Brian thought stepping back and playing it cooler. "Um…hello! The assignment? Romeo and Juliet? English class?" he offered. "Dude, were you listening at all?"
Michael stammered unable to get a complete thought formed, let alone a sentence. He had a few crushes on boys before but he was completely smitten. "Um, I..," Michael continue to stutter turning a bright shade of red.
"Look, are you free after school?" he said abruptly growing annoyed with this game.
Michael nodded his head. Brian smirked, "You got a name kid?"
"Michael Novotny" Michael managed extending his hand dropping the book that had been blocking his boner.
Brian bent down to pick up the book pausing about half-way up to stare. While still at eye-level with the substantial hard-on, Brian looked up, smiled devilishly and met Michael's gaze while slowly raising the book up to Michael awaiting hand. Brian stood up tall, about a head taller than the other boy and placed his hand on Michael shoulder. "Ok Mikey, I will see you after school then. I think you and I might have a lot in common, now come on, and show me where my next class is".
For the remainder of the afternoon Brian weighed the pro's and cons of coming out to the other kid. Brian had no internal conflict about being gay; any lingering doubts had far been alleviated by middle-school gym class showers. He had tried kissing a girl last year and felt her up at her insistence; he left thinking it was highly over-rated. However, despite his clear handle on his homosexuality, he hadn't technically acted on it yet and he had never told anyone. He hadn't told his parents because that situation was already beyond fucked-up and he hadn't told any friends because he wasn't into being tortured for four years and realistically high school is still high school. Brian had never even met an openly gay kid; he certainly suspected a few closeted ones and was getting much attuned at picking up an extra-long eye contact or subtle look and a flirtatious smile. He hadn't dared make a move and neither would they. No one was crazy enough to risk a faulty gaydar in school but this Michael kid, this was no subtle look or smile; this kid got a full on stiffy from just talking to him. The thought amused him and he laughed out loud drawing stares from the other kids.
After classes Brian walked to the front of the school to meet up with Michael. He was sitting on the steps reading a Captain Astro comic book; a cheesy smile on his face. Brian shook his head feeling sort of sorry for the kid. Jesus Christ, this kid doesn't have a shot in hell at playing straight.
"Mikey", Brian called waving his arm and looking annoyed "Are we doing this thing or what, where do you live anyway?"
"Actually Brian, I usually go to the Liberty diner after school, where my mom works, so If we are going to my house, I have to stop by and pick up the house key" Michael said, "We can work there if you want or we can go to your place if that's easier".
"Um we can't go to my house" Brian said a little too firmly, "but we can go by the diner, lead the way?"
"OK" Michael said and headed off with Brian following behind. Michael didn't say a word for the first few minutes and it was getting painfully uncomfortable.
"So Mikey, you lived around here long?' Brian asked really just breaking the silence.
"Yep" he said "Pretty much my whole life. Oh and it's not a big deal or anything but no one calls me Mikey, usually just Mike or Michael"
Brian pressed his lips together, he was starting to like this kid, he was actually kind of adorable in a boy-next-door way. "Ok Mikey, whatever you say" he laughed throwing his arm around the boy's shoulder.
"One more thing" Michael said stopping and looking at Brian earnestly. "You should know my mom's a little… over the top".
Even with Michael's warning, Brian was ill-prepared when entering the Liberty diner. It was a mere six blocks from his high school but might has well been on a different planet. There were so many men and rainbow flags and then there was Debbie. "Over the top" didn't really do her justice; she had flaming red hair and a vest covered in buttons, one in particular caught Brian's eye it read "I love my penis". He laughed out loud thinking of his own mother is such a place wearing such a button. Michael turned thinking he was laughing at him or his mother with a hurt look on his face and ran out of the diner quick after getting the key from his mom's purse.
"Mikey" Brian ran after him "Stop" he yelled; "Will you wait already"
Michael stopped but didn't turn around. "Look, I don't appreciate being made fun off"
"Who's making fun?" Brian said catching his breath. "Man your fast for a …." his voice trailing off.
"For a what?" Michael snapped
Brian recoiled shaking his head no.
"No Brian, what were you going to say? I'm fast for a what? ….for a fag?" Michael said his eyes glaring at Brian. "It's not like it's the first time I've heard it" he said just barely above a whisper.
Brian stared at the concrete, looking gutted, trying to think of a sarcastic comment to dig him out of this hole.
Michael sensing Brian's regret offered a way out "Look can we can work on the project later? I don't feel very well." He turned towards home leaving Brian in the middle of the street.
Brian watched Michael walk away deflated. "Mikey, Mikey" he called after him with no response.
Brian turned back toward home. He stopped when he passed the Liberty Diner and stared inside watching Debbie greet customers, laughing and cutting up with the gay men who were obvious regulars. Brian stood there fantasizing about having a different life, a mother like her; it felt more like home to him than any place he had ever lived. He walked home feeling strong pangs of jealously for Michael's life.
Michael slammed the door to the house and ran up the stairs two at time escaping to his bedroom. Fucking Brian! Michael could feel the tears well up in his eyes. That night he cried himself to sleep, kicking himself for thinking high school would be different, that he could be different, that he would ever be lucky enough to have such a beautiful boy want to be his friend, let alone his boyfriend.
Brian took his seat when the school bell rang for first period, Michael was not in class. Shit! Now what do I do? Mrs. Edison droned on about iambic pentameter and other such nonsense but Brian wasn't interested. After class, an attractive blond girl in a cheerleader uniform cornered Brian at his locker flirting with him, dropping hints, wanting Brian to ask her out. He was trying to seem interested while secretly checking out the ass of the boy bent over pulling books out of the bottom of his locker. Brian caught Michael out of the corner of his eye. He slammed the door to his locker leaving the girl with a horrified expression. "Mikey" Brian called out "Wait up"
Michael took one look at Brian and made a bee-line in the other direction. He ducked into the library hiding in the stacks of books when the bell rang. Brian tried to head into the library but was thwarted by the crowd of students trying to leave out the double doors. He leaned against the wall on the outside of the library doors, debating on what to do when a timid Michael peeked out from the doors.
Seeing Brian, Michael made a mad dash back into the library.
"Mikey, are you planning to cut English all year to avoid me?" Brian called after him a voice dripping in sarcasm.
Michael stopped and turned to face Brian. Brian walked slowly to him. He kept walking towards him forcing Michael to retreat backward until he was bumped up against the stacks of books. Brian surveyed the empty library and placed a hand on Michael's chest the other arm outstretched above his shoulder leaning on the shelf, he could feel Micheal's heart pounding through his sweater.
"Mikey" Brian said staring into Michael's warm eyes, leaning in close.
"You are so…." Brian said pausing and swallowing hard, breaking into a cold sweat. Michael could feel Brian's breath on his face.
"Pathetic" he whispered placing a wet, firm, kiss on Michael's lips.