Long time, no see! Hiatus is over, and I'm so excited to finally be sharing this new multi-chapter fic with you. It's been incredibly fun to write, so I hope you have fun with it as well.

This fic is inspired/influenced both by a certain Justice League episode (which will become clear soon) and episode 1x07 "Power Outage." It takes place between episodes 2x06 "Enter Zoom" and 2x07 "Gorilla Warfare," so major spoilers through "Enter Zoom."

Despite the fact that they don't reference the events of this fic on the show (duh), I'm treating it as canon, as it fits in canon during the space between those two episodes. I'm not sure exactly what the timeline is between the two, but I'm guessing a little less than a week, so this is right smack in the middle.

Alright, I'm done talking for now. I'm stoked! Enjoy!

One month ago

"What a nightmare," Cisco groaned, plopping down in a seat near the examination bed. "How are you feeling? Did our mystery meta get the whammy on you?"

Barry jerked away from the light that Caitlin shone in his eye and curled his fingers around the edge of the bed where his legs dangled. "It doesn't matter what I feel. That woman. She's dead."

"It's not your fault," Caitlin said, as usual not accepting the evasions and slapping a monitor onto his chest. "There was nothing you could have done."

"What happened out there?" Cisco asked. "I couldn't get a good lock on the video feed."

Barry took advantage of a moment of respite from Caitlin and ran both of his hands over his face. The images, the feelings, still felt fresh. A long hospital hallway, lights dimming unnaturally, screams that stabbed worse than any knife.

"The meta," he said. "He was standing over a woman in one of the hospital beds. She was screaming like she was being tortured, and I…I tried to stop him, but she started flatlining. The man disappeared while I tried to save her."

"And you felt nauseous and depressed when you were in close proximity to the meta?" Caitlin asked, trying again for a pupil assessment.

"Right," Barry said. "I'm sure he is one. I'm just not sure what his powers are, exactly."

"Luckily enough, I have the perfect solution," said Cisco. He pulled a chocolate bar out of his pocket and handed it to Barry. Barry felt less than hungry, consumed instead by a dread that pinned him in place like an insect on a display board, but he accepted it anyway. "You can thank Rowling for that one."

"We can't let him get away with this," said Caitlin. Barry unwrapped the chocolate bar and she looked at it reproachfully.

"If Doctor Dementor strikes again, we'll find him," Cisco said confidently. "Don't you worry." When Barry didn't respond, Cisco clapped him on the arm. "Hey, you did the best you could. There was nothing you could have done to save that woman."

"That's what I hate." Barry said. "Feeling…powerless."

If he wasn't mistaken, Caitlin's fingers tightened briefly on his arm where she now took his pulse, as if for reassurance.

Cisco, too, softened for a moment, but bounced back like he always did. He pointed at the chocolate bar and gave his best Remus Lupin impression. "Eat. You'll feel better."

Barry turned to Caitlin, raising his eyebrows. She rolled her eyes. "Just eat the chocolate, Barry."

She continued her examination, looking for physical injury that wasn't there—he knew it wasn't there—while he sat and timidly bit off a square of chocolate. Despite Cisco's insistence, it didn't make his stomach bloom with warmth or fill the new hole drilled in his chest. But he kept eating, hoping that eventually it might.

Present day

"Time to eat, Barry. What would you like?"

"I'm not hungry."

It wasn't a lie; Barry couldn't remember what hunger felt like. He kept his eyes fixed on the TV, pointedly ignoring Cisco and Caitlin inching into the room.

"Come on, you have to eat something," Caitlin insisted gently. "You need your strength."

"For what?" Barry snapped. "For wheeling myself around for the rest of my life?"

The comment visibly struck Caitlin, and she averted her eyes as she had been doing for the past two days. Barry noticed it. Noticed her uncertainty, her discomfort. "That's not going to happen."

"Sorry, I didn't mean that," Barry said, swallowing and looking back to the TV. "Melodramatic, I know."

"I think you deserve a little melodrama," Cisco said. "After all, you just had your back broken."

Barry reflexively tightened his fingers over the blankets that covered his unresponsive legs. Since the confrontation with Zoom, Caitlin and Cisco had been so, so careful with him. He felt like a patient on his deathbed, with the two of them hovering, not meeting his gaze, doling out encouraging remarks and condolences instead of the usual banter.

Part of it was his fault, he realized. No amount of inspirational movie marathons or promising medical jargon could take away the fact that he felt different. He felt lesser. Every second of every day, he felt the absence of sensation in his legs like it was death itself. And no matter how he tried, he couldn't force himself to act like it was anything else.

It was a wonder Caitlin and Cisco still bothered to talk to him, for all the company he was.

"I need an answer, Barry," Caitlin said. "Tell me what you want to eat or I'll bring you the Spam from the emergency cabinet."

"Anything is fine," Barry said. "It doesn't matter."

Caitlin and Cisco lingered in the doorway a heartbeat longer, then Caitlin made the first move into the room. "What are you watching?"

There was no point in fumbling for the remote, so he let them take their place beside his bed without a protest. He kept his eyes glued to the makeshift TV screen Cisco had set up and watched again his own broken body being shaken like a ragdoll at Picture News.

"Oh, God, Barry, not this again." Cisco wrenched the remote from the side table and clicked off the TV. "We've talked about this. No watching the news."

"It's been two days," Barry said. "Why won't they stop showing it?"

"Because people are stupid and desperate for sensationalism," Caitlin said. "Iris has been feeding the news the idea that you're already well on your way to recovery; once people believe that, they'll stop showing those horrible images."

"It's not true, though," Barry said. "And it doesn't erase...that." Frustrated, he motioned vaguely at the TV to distract from the heat that had risen up his face.

"No," said Caitlin gently, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. "It doesn't. But it will dull the pain of it. And it doesn't erase the fact that you're strong. Already you're doing so much better."

"Maybe." Barry settled back miserably into his pillows, knowing now it was futile to try and force back the emotion creeping up his throat. Caitlin and Cisco had long since abandoned pretending not to notice.

"How can we help you, Barry?" Caitlin said. "Please, just tell us. You haven't been eating, you've hardly been sleeping…I know this is hard, but we want to help." She looked across at Cisco and he nodded enthusiastically.

Barry had to admire their persistence, their enthusiasm that remained despite the shadows under their eyes. He wasn't blind. He could see how hard they were working to stay positive in the face of their own worries, his moodiness.

"I don't know," he said. "Honestly? I just wish…I wish I had listened. Confronting Zoom like that was stupid, and it's put everybody in danger." He scrubbed at his eyes angrily with the heels of his hands, but the action tweaked his back. All breath was punched out of him, and he froze with hands pressed to his head, as if trying to physically hold in the agony. His wordlessness drew Caitlin and Cisco closer, but he closed his eyes and rode it out as best as he could, ticking the heartbeats before his breath came back. When he came back to his senses, Caitlin was rubbing his shoulder reassuringly.

"Need more pain meds?"

"You know they don't work." Barry sighed. "Jay was right. Zoom is a nightmare I can't wake up from."

"Well, you're not doing yourself any favors by watching your nightmare happen over and over again," Cisco said, plunking down definitively in his swivel chair next to the bed. "Trust me, it was painful enough the first time. Come on, let's watch something else."

He clicked on the TV again. He made a move to switch it away from the news station, but Barry stopped him. "Wait. What's happening?"

Frowning, Cisco turned up the volume a few notches. Instead of the usual, scheduled replay of Zoom's conquest, a new figure dominated the screen. The grainy cellphone image of a man in a long white coat lay beneath a superimposed image of a pale-faced man with dark, intense eyes.

"…labeled as dangerous. While authorities claim the man is unarmed, eyewitnesses say he exhibited metahuman traits."

"Metahuman traits?" Cisco scoffed. "What, like we're all a type?"

"I know him," Barry said, straining forward. "I mean, I recognize him. From that incident a month ago. The…the…dementor guy."

"Shh." Caitlin waved both of them away, fixated on the TV.

"Reports indicate that the culprit is Dr. John Dee, who disappeared from his practice one month ago following the death of his wife. Before his disappearance, Dr. Dee was developing revolutionary technology meant to monitor patients' dreams and cultivate lucid dreaming."

"Revolutionary," Cisco barked. "Yeah. Send your Nobel our way."

"Police are currently searching for the suspect and encourage citizens to engage in caution," the anchor continued. "With the Flash missing, metahumans are considered more dangerous—"

Cisco's reflexes were incredible. The TV was off before Barry could even blink, the anchor silenced mid-sentence.

"You know what this means, right?" Barry said. "This guy is out in the open again. Two days after Zoom. There's gotta be a reason for that."

"You think he's going after you?" Cisco said. "Why? You did nothing to him."

"Yeah, but he's an evil metahuman," Barry said. "When have they ever needed a reason to come after me?" His mouth twitched downward at another spasm of pain.

"Good point," Cisco said with an unsubtle side-eye. "This guy does seem a little loco. He did torture his own wife to death without even touching her."

"We'll go check out this John Dee and figure out what he's about," Caitlin said, jumping up from the bed. "Do a little digging. You…" She looked at Barry sternly. "You get some rest. We'll be back in a little bit with all of the information we find."

"But—"

"Rest." Caitlin set her jaw. "I promise we'll come and fill you in the second we have anything. You are going to be most helpful to us when you are well-rested. Please."

"I'd listen to your doctor," Cisco said when Barry sent him an imploring look. "You know what she can do when she's angry."

His eyes were almost apologetic, but Barry knew now how to see through it. Cisco was still scared. And there was no way he could be faulted for that.

"Fine," he said. "Go. Do your hero thing."

With one more moment of hesitation, Caitlin and Cisco filed out. Caitlin dimmed the lights on the way through the door and shut it quietly.

The TV remote was placed strategically at the edge of the bedside table, just far enough out of reach that Barry would likely pop another vertebrae if he attempted to grab it.

Instead, he resigned himself to staring at the blank ceiling, sleepless.

And we're off! Thanks for reading. If you have a moment, please leave a comment with your thoughts; I adore hearing from you guys.

Posting schedule will be my normal routine-Sundays and Wednesdays. So, look for the next chapter in a couple days.

Till next time,

Penn