RUNNING SCARED
Maura sat at her desk scrolling through webpages on her computer. For anyone looking, it would seem she was hard at work researching something or another to do with medical examination. It would take someone to look directly at her screen to tell that she was perusing through shoes again. Not just any shoes though. She had specific shoes in mind. Bowling shoes to be exact. Maura was getting impatient and grimacing as she switched from one website to the next. She was so preoccupied with her search that she didn't hear Jane come into her office and jumped when she spoke.
"Maura, what are you doing," Jane asked when she noticed the webpage with all the sports shoes.
"Ah, Jane!" You scared me. I was researching." Maura quickly folded the screen of her laptop down.
"Researching, huh? It looked like you were shoe shopping again to me." Jane said with a grin.
Knowing she was caught Maura raised the screen up again. "Fine, I was looking for some bowling shoes, so next time we go I will have my very own and not have to rent the germ-filled pair from the establishment. I'm having a problem finding an attractive pair though. They all seem so clownish to me." Maura shot a disappointed look at Jane.
"Maura, bowling shoes are meant to be ugly. It is just the way they are. Also, renting shoes is part of the bowling experience. You don't need your own pair and they do spray them with disinfectant once they are returned." Jane laughed.
"I beg to differ with you, Jane. I tested the pair you picked out for me when we went bowling last week and the bacteria and fungus levels were off the chart. If we go again, I would really prefer having my own pair of shoes when I make strike balls."
"Strikes, Maur. They are called strikes, not strike balls. Geez, I can't believe you have never been bowling and when we take you one time you spank all of us down. Korsak will never get over it."
"Whatever, strikes, strike balls. The game isn't really that complex when you use the practical law of physics to aid you in determining the right trajectory to follow to knock the white sticks down." Maura continued to search the web.
"The sticks are called pins, by the way." Jane added and sat on the edge of Maura's desk. Her left thigh was mere inches from Maura's hand and Maura couldn't help but look at Jane's muscular legs. She noticed that lately she had more than friendly feelings for her best friend. She first noticed it when they were at her house watching movies on the sofa and Jane looked over to ask her a question and she became mesmerized by Jane's beautiful chocolate brown eyes and full lips. She had the incredible urge to kiss her friend. She had to suppress the urge and jump off the sofa and go to the kitchen for water. Jane asked if she was alright and she had to make an excuse that she was just thirsty. From that moment on she felt nervous around Jane. She didn't have many friends growing up, so she didn't know if her feelings were out of the ordinary. Eventually she would have to get up enough courage and talk to Jane about her feelings. Right now wasn't the time though.
While Maura was lost in her thoughts, Jane became aware of her starring intently at her thighs. She thought she saw desire in Maura's eyes and it scared her. She quickly hopped off the desk and walked to the other side of the office.
"Hey Maur, the reason I came down here is that I was wondering if you were free for lunch. We could go to the Indian place you have wanted to try down the street?"
"Huh, lunch…sure, Jane. That sounds nice. I can be ready by 1:00 pm." Maura snapped out of her thoughts, stood up and headed to her file cabinet. "I better get to work now." She turned her back toward Jane and began going through files.
"Okay, Maur. See you at 1:00 pm." Jane headed toward the door feeling off kilter, like there was an electric spark running through her. She went to her desk upstairs and waited until the hours to lunch clicked by.
A few minutes before their scheduled lunch date, Jane strolled into the morgue. Maura was there waiting. She had just freshened up her lipstick and when she saw Jane flashed her a huge smile. "God she is beautiful," Jane thought to herself.
"Ready to go," Maura asked. "I'm famished." Maura jumped out of her chair and headed toward Jane.
"Absolutely. Let's go." Jane smiled back.
Once they were at the restaurant and had ordered Jane was feeling more relaxed. She had been antsy all morning. She needed to talk to Maura about something important and wanted her opinion on the matter.
"Maura, I'm glad you agreed to come to lunch with me today. I wanted to get your feedback on something." Jane started.
"Sure, Jane. What is it? Maura asked after taking a sip of iced tea.
"Well, I've been offered to participate in a special task force. It's a great opportunity for me to get on the promotion track without kissing brass so to speak. I'm a little nervous about it though."
"What! That's terrific news, Jane. You don't need to be nervous. You are the best detective here. You will do a fabulous good." Maura got up and hugged Jane hard. "I'm so proud of you."
"Really? Wow, thanks, Maura. I wasn't so sure. I'm still thinking it over. I mean it is a 6 month assignment and…"
"Oh, please 6 months is nothing, Jane. You will be done before you know it." Maura kept smiling.
"Well, I'm not so good with change, so I haven't made up my mind. I mean I would miss the precinct and well to be honest you." Jane glanced away.
"Wait, what do you mean?" Maura seemed confused. "Why would you have to miss anything, the assignment isn't here?" Maura's heart rate increased and she could feel herself start to panic.
"No, it is on the North end. I would be assigned to Precinct 142 for the duration of the assignment." Jane added and looked directly at Maura.
"Oh, well I could see why it is a dilemma for you now. I mean that is quite a change. It is an unfamiliar place and you are a lead detective here and the drive would be horrible." Maura was now trying to come up with reasons to discourage Jane from leaving.
"Well I'm still thinking about it. It isn't totally unfamiliar. I did some work up there as a rookie. I still know some of the beat cops. Besides, like you said, 6 months isn't that long."
"No, don't listen to me, Jane. It is a long time." Maura was desperate. She didn't want to be a part from Jane that long.
"Geez, Maura , one minute you are telling me it is a once in a lifetime opportunity and now it seems like you don't want me to take it. What gives?" Jane asked with a concerned look.
Maura knew she couldn't lie. Even if she tried to she would start to hyperventilate, so she had to tell Jane the truth. "I don't want you to go." She said softly.
"What? Jane asked leaning forward on the table.
"I don't want you to go. I would miss you." Maura said a little louder with a sad look on her face.
"Maur, I would miss you too, but it isn't like it would be forever. I really need to consider it."
"You, don't understand." Maura glanced to the side and tears started welling up in her eyes. She took a deep breath and saw that Jane looked surprised and worried. She had to tell her the truth. "Jane, I have feeling for you. I don't understand them right now, but I know they are more than friendly feelings and I didn't tell you before because I didn't want to ruin our friendship, but I need to tell you the truth." Tears were fully flowing down Maura's face now. Jane just sat starring at her with her mouth agape. She was shocked. There seemed to be silence for several minutes before Jane regained her composure.
"Maura, I don't know what to say." Jane looked sad because Maura was so unhappy.
"Say, you won't go", Maura pleaded.
"I can't, Maura." Jane's heart was breaking, but she knew it was best if she did leave for a little while. She knew she was a mess and Maura would see that too once there was some distance between the two. She had feelings for Maura too, but didn't dare share them. She didn't want to destroy their friendship. Every romantic relationship she had ever had she destroyed. She didn't want that happen with Maura. She needed her too much. Also, she knew Maura was naïve when it came to having a best friend and she could easily see Maura confusing her feelings about the two of them. She knew what she had to do.
"I'm going to take the assignment, Maur. I'm sorry." Jane squeezed Maura's hands and got up from the table and left. She didn't dare turn around because tears already started to fall from her own eyes.