The night was cold and the air was bitter. Nika Kuznetsov snuggled further down into the park bench stuffing her gloved hands into her jacket sleeves. Her breath was much warmer than the air, causing it to collect and make the inner rim of her jacket wet. She felt like a turtle…a cold, wet, turtle. She sighed and tucked her head carefully under the two blankets she had laid over her body and shut her eyes. Maybe, just maybe, she could drift off and get a couple of hours of sleep. She needed it; she started a job tomorrow that she'd only applied for the previous night. She wasn't sure what she was going to do with her life at this point, but her skating career was gone unless a miracle happened. Sometimes, real life reared it's head and there wasn't a fairy babushka to make her dreams come true. She only had herself. As her brain started to finally wind down she pictured herself on the ice in an elaborate ornate costume, her hair pinned up just right with a few wisps hanging free, breathing hard after a performance at the Grand Prix. That's it. She told herself as she fell asleep. It's only a dream now, Let it go.
She sneezed. Nika crunched in on herself groggily as she woke up rubbing her nose. The light from early morning stung her eyes. There were only a few stray joggers rushing by across the park, but not too many people were awake yet. She groaned straining to get her arm out from under the blanket to look at her watch. The alarm hadn't gone off yet, she was awake an hour before she had to be. However, she was freezing. Her body hurt a little from lack of movement and lack of heat. She stretched gingerly sitting up and stared at the concrete beneath her feet for a long moment. She supposed she could just get moving, but where was she going to go? She could go to work early…but at some point she needed to hit the local shelter to get a hot meal and a shower. The shelter had been full last night since she hadn't gotten out of practice until past their deadline to accept people…and it had been for nothing. Nika fought the urge to ignore her train of thought, but it played over in her mind anyway.
Nika was shaking as she strung the laces of her skates bent over on the bench in the girls locker room. Tonight was the night the three of them showed their coach their routines they'd made. Coach would decide who stayed on the team for the season. Nika felt her stomach roll and she took a breath so she didn't vomit. This was her last year to impress coach. Every girl on the team got to be there for four years on the junior competitive team. This was the last year; next year she turned 15 and she wouldn't be able to compete in this category anymore. If she didn't impress coach, she was dropped from the team. If she was dropped from the team, she didn't get to stay on and live in the ballet school with the exchange students anymore. Nika wasn't from here and she didn't have any family around nor did she have a job. Coach didn't allow them to work, go to school, and practice.
Tonight was the night! She'd choreographed this routine for weeks! It was utterly different than anything coach had ever seen her do! She was the smallest on the team and usually didn't get the same momentum and power Taya and Alonya could when they did their jumps, but she had a trick up her sleeve. Nika had created a routine that was more mature than she'd done in the past, but being the second oldest of the team she needed to up her skills. She had a shot with this one because in a year would be her senior debut and that kind of thing would defiantly require a more mature routine so why not blow coach away now? Nika stood up smoothing the hem of her black sequin leotard's skirt down. She'd even worn black to appear older and lengthen her arms during the step sequence. Coach would love it! Alonya rolled her eyes and stepped into the corner of the locker room where Nika was standing.
"That rag looks like a sack on you. Too bad this is the last time you'll hit the ice." She smirked leaning against the lockers. Nika bit her lip narrowing her eyes at her. Taya had already gone out to warm up.
"Whatever, move so I can go out." Nika had said moving to leave the aisle. Alonya laughed and shoved her against the lockers across from them. Nika flinched scrunching up her nose.
"I hope you fall and bust you face." She snapped before flicking her nose and leaving the room. Nika closed her eyes for a moment, peeling her back off the lockers, and rubbed her shoulder from where it ached now after hitting the metal. She wasn't going to fall, she wasn't going to lose; not this time! This time she could impress coach and Alonya would be speechless after seeing her.
Air was barely pouring out from her lungs in tight tiny puffs as she skidded to her last pose in the middle of the rink. She'd done it! Although she hadn't had as many jumps as Alonya, she'd had more than Taya, and the difficulty had matched in numbers. Nika had to remind herself not to smile, coach hated smiling at the end of a routine, and she waited for a response. Coach had stepped out onto the ice slowly and motioned for all the girls to join her in the center of the rink. Alonya shoved past Nika bumping her smirking as she glanced back at her. Taya slid to their left and put her hands behind her back quietly like she always did waiting. Coach skated in front of them and looked them all over once before moving. This was it; coach would tap the shoulder of the two girls she was putting through this season. She tapped Taya first and hugged the younger girl kissing her cheek.
"Congratulations darling. Go change and meet me out front. Celebration is in order." She chuckled before looking over Alonya and Nika. She came closer to them this time as Taya got off the ice.
Without so much as a glance, a word, or a chance Coach moved. Nika felt her heart plummet and drop through her chest. Alonya grinned shooting her a nasty "told you so" look as coach put her hand on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry Nika, it just wasn't your year. You'll have until tomorrow morning to collect you trunk from the school." She said turning to face Nika.
"Th-thanks Coach…I…." Nika paused as she realized she had nothing left to say. She couldn't stop the feelings welling up inside of herself so she looked at the ice and took a hard breath shutting the door in her head that made her feel. If she ignored it, there wasn't anything to be upset about. There wasn't any reason to cry that the only reason she'd moved here on scholarship four years ago was gone…Nika turned and skated away from the center of the rink. She barely caught the edge as she hit the siding and rushed out. She had collected her stuff, changing, and wiped at her eyes stubbornly. She wasn't going back to the school to collect anything…Alonya would be there waiting to make fun of her. Screw it. She didn't need anything she'd left there…Nika was better off on her own.
On her ownwas the only thing Nika knew. Taya had tried to talk to her as she'd left, but she hadn't looked back. That part of her life was just going to have to be over. Nika stood up from the bench and started folding her blankets to put them in her backpack. Work started in forty minutes; that would just be enough time to walk the few blocks she had to go to get there. They'd promised her the leftover food at the end of the night if she worked until closing every day. It was a really good deal since they were taking her so young as a waitress. Nika didn't have any experience either, but the owners had been really kind to her. With any luck, she'd be able to save up some money and get a cheap hotel room in a few days at least for the weekend, if tips were good. Eventually she'd have to find a place of her own, but she didn't know how. As she zipped her backpack up her stomach squeezed and grumbled. Hopefully she could afford a pastry on the way to work from a corner stand. There were a few wadded up bills in her pocket but they didn't total very much and the prices from street vendors always changed especially during tourist season. Nika swung the pack onto her back and looked up at the sky, at least it was sunny. Any day could be a good one if you made it that way…at least that's what she told herself as she started walking.