This one shot was inspired by an old song I found on my Itunes. This is my second attempt at FanFic, and I decided to include some citrusy fun in this one. Hope it's not too disappointing!
Oh, and apparently I have to specify that all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Is there seriously anyone on here that doesn't know that already?
How could I forget... I was also three glasses of wine in to the bottle when I finished writing and posting this... so forgive the mistakes!
Just One Little Kiss
"Hey Edward, check out the rack on this chick." I pointed out the lady driving the car next to us, waiting for the light to turn green.
"Eh. A for effort, but F for form. That has to be one of the most obvious boob jobs I've ever seen."
"And? I thought you were a big boob guy."
"Well, it depends. I like my women natural, probably around large B or small C cup. Any bigger gets wasted."
I had to laugh at him. Luckily for Edward he could be picky about things like that. He had women flocking to him no matter where we were. I can't even count the number of times that we had met for lunch or dinner and random women would approach him, completely ignoring me. It would be insulting if I didn't completely get it.
Edward might be my very best friend, but he was one fine piece of man meat. Even I could admit that.
I threw a fry at him from my bag, and laughed at his face when it fell in to the floorboard of his precious car.
"Lighten up Edward, we're supposed to be happy today! If we get there and Alice sees you sulking about your dirty car she WILL scratch your eyes out for raining on Jaspers parade."
"Yuk it up now Swan. I could always use you as a human body shield. I suggest you climb over here and get this fry before I have an anxiety attack."
"If I didn't know that you would seriously have one, I would smoosh it in to the carpet."
I let loose a snort and guffaw at the look of panic that ran across his face.
"Simmer down prissy britches, I'll get it."
The light turned green just as I unbuckled my seatbelt. Edward drove and I leaned over his lap, reaching between his legs for the missing fry. I could feel it, but couldn't quite grab it. Edward tried to raise his hips and press his legs to the seat to give me more room, but it wasn't enough. I put my knees up in my seat and leaned as far down as I could.
"Aha! Got it!"
I placed my hand on his thigh to push myself back up. Just as I was about to show him my good deed I happened to look out the driver side window. I saw a flash before I could tell what was happening.
"Fucking Emmett!" I quickly righted myself and flipped him the bird.
That baboon was laughing his head off waving his camera at me from the front seat of his jeep. I didn't know he was there, but I did know that I wouldn't hear the end of this for a while. Jackass.
Edward was no better. He just laughed and shook his head.
"Thanks for the backup, sparky. You know he's gonna put that shit on Facebook in about five seconds. You also know how your harem is. You'll be fielding calls all day trying to explain that one."
"Bella I couldn't care less what those girls think. Obviously if they think something actually happened between us they are too stupid for me to hang out with anyway, I mean everyone knows that NOTHING happens in this car."
"Seriously. I think I might vomit if your dick ever made it anywhere near my face, not to mention you would pass out if someone tried to leave body fluids within a ten foot radius of this thing."
Edward sighed and smirked. "Always such a lady. It's amazing you're not married off by now."
I laughed and smacked him on the shoulder before I hauled myself out of the car just as we parked.
Alice and Jasper had gotten engaged a couple of months earlier, and since Alice was getting her wedding, Jasper was getting his "engagement party". That pretty much consisted of a bunch of friends and some family getting together for a lunchtime barbecue down at First Beach (Sans the beer, because the tribe has it's rules...).
We walked towards the shoreline and saw Rose, Alice, and Jasper speaking with some of the people from the rez. Emmett and Edward were still laughing at the picture that, as expected, Emmett just posted on Facebook. Apparently Edward had been getting ready to say something because in the picture he was looking down at me and his mouth was slightly ajar, making what appeared to be an O shape. All you could see of me was my ass in the air. Perfect. At least you couldn't see my face.
As we approached I realized the moment that Rose got the alert on her phone. It only took a few seconds for her to start laughing and showing her phone to Alice and Jasper. Great, now they were all laughing. Oh well, if you can't beat 'em , join 'em.
"Wow Bells. I didn't know you had it in you, darlin." Jasper winked at me.
"Well, I did it for you Jasper. I figured Mr. Broodie McBrooderson could use the release. You know, keep him from having to hide his sailors salute while waxing poetic about the plump perfectness of Tanya's ta ta's later."
Everyone laughed, except Edward. He just rolled his eyes and tried to hide his embarrassment.
"Duly noted, and extremely appreciated." Jasper reached out to shake my hand like I had done him a real favor.
"Christ, one time in high school I get drunk and say I want to lay my face on them, and you guys just can't let it go."
Emmett patted Edward on the back and shook his head with a solemn look on his face.
"Dude, we would've let it go, but she's your cousin. Not cool, man. Not cool." He tried to keep his smirk under control, but it didn't last. He was grinning like an idiot.
Edward leveled a playful glare at him, and it was almost like Emmett knew what was coming next, but couldn't bother to be ashamed about it.
"That's pretty rich coming from the guy who used to get his rocks off while looking at pictures of Rose. Dude she's like your sister."
Everyone laughed but it was cut short when Rose piped up.
"Don't sweat it, Em. I still use your pictures."
It was almost as if the entire beach decided to freeze. All we could do was stare at her.
"Oh, please. You people are idiots. We've been sleeping together for like three months and none of you even noticed. Come on, Em. That pic of these two sexually repressed idiots has me worked up." She crossed the circle we had made and took Emmett by the hand, leading him away. "We'll be back in a bit. Don't wait up kids."
All I could do was shake my head and laugh. "Alright guys, I'm gonna go find Charlie and Sue and say hi. I'll catch up with you guys in a bit."
After I found them I milled around for a bit, talking to some of the guys from the rez that I used to hang out with. I did find out that Jake wouldn't be there. I was a little disappointed. He was my first boyfriend, and even though things ended, they ended on good terms. We still spoke occasionally.
After playing catch up for a while the food was ready, so I grabbed a burger and a drink. I saw Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett sitting with Carlisle and Esme. I didn't know that they had gotten here yet, so I went to sit with them and say hi. Plus I couldn't pass up the opportunity to make Edward squirm a bit.
I strolled over and there was a gap between Carlisle and Edward just big enough for me to squeeze in to. "Hiya doc. How's it hangin'?"
Edward groaned and Carlisle just laughed. Esme chuckled and shot me a wink. She knew what I was up to, and she encouraged it. Thank God she knew it was all a joke. I mean, Edwards dad is hot and all, but no. Just no.
"Ah Bella, it's good to see you. I was asking Edward where you were off to earlier. I've missed you."
"You know Edward doesn't support our relationship. Something about you being a cheater and me being a home wrecker, blah blah blah, he's such a prude. If he ever played doctor and patient with an actual doctor he might understand my reluctance to let you go."
Edward started coughing, choking a bit on his food, while the rest of us laughed.
"Jeez, Bells. How would you like it if I said stuff like that to Renee?"
"Don't go getting any bright ideas. You and I both know that if you did, Renee would be on you like white on rice. She thinks you're like the young adult version of her own Harlequin novel. One wrong joke out of you and she would attack. By the time she was through with you, you'd be naked in the corner, sucking your thumb, and crying for your mommy."
Even his parents were laughing at that visual.
"So quick subject change. Rose and Em, how and when did this happen?" Poor Edward was desperate to get the attention away from himself.
Emmetts arm was draped over Roses shoulder casually. "Well bro, we've always liked each other, the timing just wasn't ever right. Now it is."
"Simple as that?"
"Simple as that." Rose answered. She turned her face up to Emmett and they kissed, sweetly, but full of love. It was so obvious now that I saw it happening. Natural.
Alice was bouncing in her spot and Jasper just gave her a good natured chuckle and shake of his head. "I am so happy for you guys. Now we just have to get Edward and Bella here together, and it will all be perfect."
Edward and I looked at each other, and then busted out laughing.
"What's so funny about that? I think you guys would be great together, I know you would."
"Settle down Alice, it's not happening. Edward and I are friends, best friends, so that's almost incest. Not to mention it would defy the laws of nature and send our universe in to an unnatural tailspin, probably bringing about the end of the world as we know it."
Edward chuckled, "I'm with you on the first half of that reason, but you lost me on the second. Explain."
"It's all about our spheres of existence."
Jasper laughed and buried his face in Alice's neck. "I'm afraid to ask, but what are you talkin' about?"
"It's simple. Each person exists within a sphere which corresponds with their attractiveness in reference to looks, however the number assigned can be greatly affected by things like personality, job, intelligence, things like that.
I continued, "Now, our Edward here is safely ensconced in his 10 sphere-"
Emmet threw up his hand, "Wait, wait, wait. I'll concede that Ed is a pretty boy, but he's no Emmett, he's more like a 7." Rose smacked Emmett on the back of his head.
"Please, continue Bella. Pay no mind to the man behind the monkey suit."
"Yes, please do, I'm interested to hear where you're going with this. Please feel free to stroke my ego." Edward winked at me and tossed a chip in his mouth.
I just rolled my eyes. "So, like I was saying. Going with Emmett's assessment, just for arguments sake, Edward starts at a 7 on looks, though I know quite a few chicks that would say 10. Edward's personality and sense of humor drop him to a 3, but he's gonna be a doctor, that puts him back up to an 8. Add on to that he dresses nice, brushes his teeth regularly, and can play guitar AND piano, that jumps him up another couple of notches to a 10."
Esme laughed, "But what about his unhealthy attachment to his car, and tendency to be such a neat freak, that it borders on OCD?"
"The car thing should be a problem, but lucky for him the OCD neatness washes it out. I mean no woman wants to clean up after a guy. I consider that a hefty bonus in his favor, not to mention the hair."
"What about my hair?"
"It's just the right length. Not too long that it looks sloppy, but long enough to get a good handful of it during shmexy times. Great natural hi-lights and as soft as the day is long."
Emmett still looked confused. "Okay, I'll give you that Bella, so what's the problem. Why would Edward being such a catch be a problem?"
"Ah, dear, sweet, naive Em. People can only naturally date within two numbers of their spheres."
"So, what, you're gonna tell me that you're a 13, and too far out of my range, Swan?"
I laughed. "Not quite. I'm tucked away safely in my 5."
Apparently I was the only one who got the memo. Everyone else was just looking at me, not surprised, but confused.
"Bella, dear, please tell me that you don't truly believe that."
"It's okay Esme, I'm comfortable enough to look at myself objectively. I'm good with where I'm at." I really was.
"Okay, now I've gotta hear this shit. I know women, short stuff, I mean I did pick Rosie, and you're no 5. Where the hell did you come up with that number?"
"Yeah Bella, please bestow your wisdom on me. I'd really like to know how your think we're so different." Edward quirked his eyebrow at me, but looked a bit put out with me.
"Fine. If you really must know, I can admit I've got a butter face-"
"Excuse me, butter face?"
"Yeah, you know, everything looks good, but her face. Butter face. Keep up doc I'm on a roll here."
"Seriously Bella, you don't think you're pretty?"
"Rose, I can admit that my face is average. Not pretty, but not ugly either, just plain. Now that puts me at a 5. Throw in my exceptional wit and charm, that catapults me to the 10's."
"Wow, you're not that funny, Swan. Trust me."
"Shut up and let me finish, Eddie." I knew he hated that name. "So anyway, I'm at 10. I'm smart but not super smart which takes me back to 7. I hang out with you guys which, obviously, drops me down to a 3. However I am somewhat redeemed by the fact that I work at a bank. I may be low on the totem pole now, but my boss and I have discussed my future there, and more than likely I'll be getting a promotion in the near future and I'll be a loan officer. That's a good job with decent pay, so that pulls me back up to a 5. There you have it."
"That has to be the biggest load of crap I've ever heard come out of your mouth. And trust me, I've heard a lot of crap from you. You're much better looking than you give yourself credit for. I'll give you the fact that hanging out with these people causes a drop, but you also have great taste in music, and look good without makeup and in sweats."
"That's all good and well, copper top, but my dad's a cop, that pretty much turns all men off."
"Okay, but what about your lips?"
"What about 'em?"
"Bella you're lips are full and naturally pouty, without looking over done or slutty. You've got total DSLs, and trust me men DO like that."
I just shook my head, thinking of a comeback, but lost it when I heard Esme lean over to Carlisle and whisper, "Dear, what does an internet connection have to do with her lips?"
Everyone erupted in laughter, except Carlisle, who just shrugged and shook his head.
"Okay, I'm not hanging around for that explanation. I'm gonna go say hello to Billy."
"Wait, Bella, are you staying with us tonight dear?"
Although Edward had moved to Seattle, his parents remained in Forks and always let us stay there when we visited. I could still stay at Charlie's, but I didn't want to share a room with a teenage boy. Seth had taken over my old room.
"If the offer still stands, then yes. I don't know that Seth would appreciate me getting my girl germs in his man space."
"Always, sweetheart, you know that. Although, you and Edward will have to share his room. I've offered the guest room to Alice and Jasper so they don't have to drive all the way back to Seattle tonight. "
The Cullens had a good bit of money. Carlisle was the only reputable doctor within an hour's drive in any direction, so needless to say his business was booming. What always endeared me to them though was the fact that you wouldn't ever know it. They drove nice cars, but nothing too flashy. They're house was gorgeous, but far from a mansion. It wasn't all that big, but it was decorated and furnished to the nines. Esme's mantra when it came to her house was 'quality, not quantity'.
"No worries, Mama C. We'll behave." I stood to leave and started backing away. "Besides, I'm not his type. I mean, I'm no Tanya Denali. How is she by the way? Still busty?"
I saw Edward turn where he sat and I knew he was coming after me. I shrieked and took off before he could even get up, the sound of laughter ringing out behind me.
I spent the next hour listening to Billy and Charlie recount fishing stories, none of which I believed. Several of our old high school friends had stopped by, so I got to chat with a few of them for a while. I was actually in the middle of a conversation with Angela and Ben Cheney, when my world was flipped backwards and upside down. Literally.
I could hear them laughing as I tried to wave goodbye. I moved the hair out of my face and came eye to cheek with what could only be Edwards ass.
"This would be so much better if you were a young Brad Pitt, you know, Legends of the Fall age, and you were naked."
"I could give you a little bare ass to look at if you really want."
"Drop your pants and I'll slap you in the balls. Don't go getting any ideas either, if you fart while I'm back here I will piss all over you."
"Do you kiss your father with that mouth Bella?"
"You and Emmett created this monster. Deal with it. And no, I don't kiss Charlie with this mouth. I leave all the ass kissing to you."
"Don't be jealous just because he likes me more than he likes you."
"Oh I'm not. I'm sure the two of you would be very happy together. So tell me why you're hauling me away like a caveman."
He stopped and dropped me to my feet. "Because mom and dad want some pictures of all of us together. You know how it is, with us, Alice and Jasper in Seattle, and Rose and Em in Port Angeles, they don't see us all together much anymore. They miss us. We kept them young."
I followed him over to the large piece of driftwood that was washed up on the shore, where Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose were already sitting. Esme was in a nostalgic mood and we had taken pictures of every arrangement possible. Some just girls, some just guys, a lot all together.
It was starting to get late and the sun was setting. The saltwater in the air had caused my hair to get damp and stringy so I pulled it up in to a loose ponytail, thinking we were done.
"Okay kids, just one more and then I'll leave you guys alone. Promise."
We all groaned, but who could say no to Esme?
"Oh, and Edward, someone told me what DSL stood for." I could feel the heat coming off of his cheeks, he was so embarrassed. "If that's the kind of compliments you pay women, then it's no wonder you're still single."
"Sorry mom, it was just a joke."
"Apology accepted. Now I want all of you boys to sit on the driftwood and I want the girls to sit on the ground between your legs."
Since the other two couples were obviously already coupled that left Edward and I together. We were used to it. We all assumed the position and, since our end of the wood was situated low enough, the top of my head was level with Edwards eye.
"Now, I want all of the guys to lean down and kiss the girls on their cheeks. Girls you look at me and smile when I say go."
It seemed that everything happened all at once. I turned and tilted my head up towards Edward, about to make some kind of joke, Esme said 'go', and Edward eland down to kiss my cheek. Instead of a standard kiss on the cheek, our lips met in the middle.
I heard the camera click, and a couple of nearby gasps. Then I heard the camera click some more. I registered that there was a giggle or two and what sounded like someone high fiving just to my left.
I heard all of that, but I couldn't concentrate on any of it.
When our lips touched our eyes were wide open and we mirrored each other's shocked expression. But instead of pulling away, I felt Edwards lips reflexively move against mine and my eyes drifted shut. I waited for him to stop, but he didn't, so neither did I. I didn't want to.
We both parted our lips at the same time. There was no question, or indication that the other was going to do it. It was just natural. Our tongues shyly explored each other and then we both tilted our heads to deepen the kiss even more.
I have no idea how long we sat there like that, but the sound of someone clearing their throat broke through our little bubble. We ended the kiss and then just sat there looking at each other with wonder and confusion.
At some point his arms had encircled me and one of his hands had my ponytail wrapped around it. One of my hands had found its way in to the hair at the back of his head and the other was firmly gripping his forearm.
"Uh, Bells, Sue and I are gonna head back to the house. I just wanted to come say bye."
That was enough to snap me out of whatever trance I was in. I jumped up so fast that I knocked Edward backwards. I mumbled out a quick apology and practically sprinted to where Charlie was standing.
No one spoke until Charlie and I turned towards the parking lot. Even then Emmett could be counted on to get to the point.
"Dude, what the hell was that?"
I barely heard Edward reply, "I don't know Em. If it was anyone else I would say it was just a kiss..."
"But since Bella's not just anyone, it wasn't just a kiss?"
"No. It wasn't."
I didn't want to hear anything that came after that, so I spoke to Charlie. "Leaving already?"
He snorted and grinned at me. "So why didn't you tell me about you and Cullen."
"Because there's nothing to tell dad. We're best friends, we don't look at each other like that."
"Hmm. Well, that's not what it looked like from where I was standing. I don't think it looked like that from where anyone was standing."
"Whatever dad. It's not like that. We've both been single for a few months maybe we're both just deprived. It's not gonna happen."
We had made it to his truck and Sue was sitting inside, smiling and waving at me.
"Bells, I'm probably the last person that wants to see you so grown up. But, Edward is a good guy. I know you think of each other as just friends, but sometimes friends make the best lovers."
I looked up at Charlie and quirked my brow.
"Uh, not that you should have lovers. I mean you should wait till you're married before... what I meant to say is that I hope you're still a... you know what? Never mind. See you later Bells."
I had to laugh at the speed with which Charlie hoisted himself in the truck.
"Bye dad. I'll swing by before I head back to Seattle tomorrow. See you later Sue."
I stood there as Sue and Charlie pulled away, and watched the truck as far as I could. I could spew all the junk I wanted to Charlie, but I couldn't lie to myself.
Just one kiss.
Just one kiss and my whole world had been fundamentally rearranged. Edward was no longer just my best friend. He was no longer someone I could go to for advice about guys and I sure as heck didn't want to hear about other girls.
What did that mean? That kiss had been fantastic, but did I want Edward now? Did I want him in just a sexual way, or was it more than that? And most importantly, what was Edward thinking right now? Is he freaking out like me, or is he fine because it didn't matter to him?
I'm not even sure that the kiss mattered to me. It was nothing like I had ever experienced before, but did that mean it had to matter as something more than just a really great kiss?
I couldn't think about it anymore, so I trudged over towards the area that had been set up for food and started cleaning. At least that would keep me occupied for a while, without it looking like I was avoiding him on purpose.
Rose came and started helping me, but thankfully she didn't speak. We just worked in silence until everything was cleared. Rose hopped up in the table and patted the spot next to her.
"Rose, I would love to snuggle up to you in the dark, but you gotta at least buy me dinner and a drink first."
Rose sighed, "Cut the shit Swan. I'm probably the only girl here that knows even half of what you're going through right now, so suck it up, drop the jokes, and plant your pretty little ass right here."
I looked at her skeptically and thought about my options.
"I'm faster than you. I could always run for it."
"My legs are longer. Not to mention I fight dirty. You might wind up face first in the dirt."
"So this is really gonna happen, huh?"
"You betcha."
I hoisted myself up and sat beside her, our legs swinging easily. To the casual observer nothing would seem out of place.
Rose drew in a deep breath, then slowly let it out before she spoke. "Nobody knows it, but Em and I used to hook up in high school."
"You're kidding me! Why didn't you guys ever say anything? Why are you just now getting together again?"
"Well, back then we were just friends. There wasn't any desire to be together as a couple. We didn't have any feelings for each other. We were young and anxious to experience things without worrying about getting hurt by other people."
"I can understand that, but why now? What changed?"
"Nothing. Everything."
"Which is it?"
"Both. Nothing changed, but at the same time everything changed."
I rolled my neck back on my shoulders. "You're losing me Rose."
"All I know is that one day Em and I were friends. We met for lunch, and at the end of the meal we weren't friends anymore."
"So then what were you?"
"We were more."
I lifted my head back up to look at her and she turned to face me.
"Rose I'm glad that it worked out. You guys are perfect for each other and you will probably have beautiful babies, but it doesn't always work out like that. Edward and I are good friends because we are so different. I don't think we could move in to another type of relationship without jeopardizing the one that we already have. I don't want to lose him, ever."
"Bella, from what we all saw, I don't think he would going anywhere. You guys were making out for three minutes before you stopped. That wasn't an accident."
"It was not that long Rose."
"Uhh, yeah, it was."
"Whatever, Rose. Regardless, loving someone and being in love are two different things. Even if I thought I could do it, I don't think Edward could. It takes two to tango, and right now I think I'm dancing in a party of one."
I slid down from the table. Rose followed behind me.
"Just think about it Bella."
I waved my hand at her words, and we headed back towards the others. At least I knew I could count on Edward to ignore it all.
We joined the others and sat around a small fire that someone had started while we were gone. It had come around to dinner time and Carlisle and Esme left. The rest of us stayed behind and ate what was left of the food from the barbecue earlier. Most people had gone home, but a few were still hanging around. That helped to keep then awkwardness of my situation from getting too out of hand. There was always a buffer between us.
Until there wasn't.
"Hey, Bella."
I looked up and saw Edward looking down at me. I'd never noticed how green his eyes were. I always knew what color they were, but I never knew they sparkled that much.
"We, uh, need to get going. Alice and Jasper are getting tired, and I didn't want to send them to mom and dads house alone, so..."
"Sure. Yeah. I'll meet you at the car."
He looked like he wanted to say something, but changed his mind and turned to walk to the parking lot with Alice and Jasper.
I got up and went to say goodbye to Rose and Emmett, and a few other people that were still lingering. I finally headed to the car where Edward was sitting and waiting. I didn't even bother stopping at the passenger door. I walked around to the back and waited for him to pop the trunk.
I reached in and pulled out the bag that held my change of clothes and my flip flops. Edward was seriously worried about getting dirt and sand in his car. I changed out of my clothes since it was dark and no one could see me, and slipped the flip flops on my feet. I placed all of my other clothes and shoes inside the bag, then zipped it up and placed it back in the trunk.
I shut the trunk and walked back up front, and climbed in next to him.
"Okay Edward, I'm all clean now. Homeward bound, driver."
"What?"
"What?"
"You called me Edward. Not copper top, not prissy britches. Edward. You only do that when you're being serious with me."
"Oh. I didn't realize that. Sorry, but I'm fine."
Wasn't I? No, not really. This is going to be a lot more awkward than I thought it would be. I could make a joke, but nothing was coming to mind right now. He's not saying anything either, so maybe we can just act like it didn't happen.
That thought didn't sit well with me for some reason. I didn't like the idea of pretending that kiss didn't happen. To be honest I kind of wanted to do it again. And that thought right there is why this is dangerous. It can't happen. Not with me. Edward doesn't like girls like me.
There was suddenly a tingling sensation running up my arm. Like my arm was falling asleep, but in a good way. It kind of felt the way that static on a radio sounds. I felt a weight on my hand and looked to see that Edward had put his hand on top mine.
I looked up to meet his gaze and he pulled his hand back. The feeling stopped immediately. Hm. That was new. And kind of nice.
"Bella..."
"What?"
"Uh... we've gotta go. Are you ready?"
"I'm here, right?"
"Yeah. Yeah, you are."
Edward put the car in reverse and backed out, then waited for Alice and Jasper to follow us back to his parents house. On the way, nothing was said, we both just watched the darkened scenery flash by. An odd sort of tension had filled the car that had never existed between us before. It was an odd sense of discomfort somehow. Maybe that kiss had already done it's damage. Maybe Edward wanted me to go to Charlie's for the night.
"I can stay with Charlie and Sue if you want me to. I don't want to crowd you or anything."
I wasn't looking at him when I said it and I did a good job of sounding very nonchalant.
"No. Why would you think that?"
"I don't know. You just seem kind of uneasy right now. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Well that's because I am. I've got a lot of stuff going on in my head right now. I just don't know what to think about first."
"This wouldn't have anything to do with that little accident at the beach would it?"
"Accident?"
"Edward I didn't mean to kiss you. I know you didn't mean to kiss me either. It was an accident."
"Maybe."
"Relax, Cullen. It's not like I fell in love with you while some cheesy rom/com music montage of our life flashed behind my eyelids. I'm not gonna start stalking you now. It was just a kiss. An accidental meeting of two sets of lips. It didn't mean anything."
"Okay, but why didn't you stop?"
"Why didn't you?"
"Because... because... I don't know why."
"Well my theory is that we've both been lonely for a few of months and it was just nice to feel wanted for a couple of minutes."
Edward glanced at me from the corner of his eye, with a slight frown on his face.
"I guess that's possible."
"Hey, if anything, this could open new doors for our relationship. Hello, friends with benefits. This could work in our mutual favor."
We had pulled on to the driveway at his house and Edward cut off the engine, just as I was reaching to unlatch my seatbelt.
"Bella, that's disgusting. Why would you think something like that?"
I'm not sure which hurt worse, the fact that he sounded truly angry about what I said, or the fact that he thought I was disgusting. I reached for the door and swung my legs out to stand.
"It was just a joke Edward. You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself, huh? Nice to know what you really think of me." I tried to force the words out, but the most I could manage was a just loud enough to be heard whisper.
I shut the door and stalked to the house. It was too late to try to get to Charlie's, so I decided to go take a shower. I could have used Edwards, but I didn't want to go in there if I could help it. I was hoping that he would just go straight to bed and I could camp out on the couch in the living room.
The bathroom was on the ground floor connected to the guest room, but it also had its own entrance. I shut both doors and turned the water on. I removed my clothes and stepped under the heated spray. That's when the tears came.
I was crying. Why? For the loss of a friend? Or for the loss of what could have been? It was Rose's fault for planting those little demon seeds in my mind. Obviously this didn't mean anything to Edward. So why can't we just go back to the way things were before?
Probably because he knows I'm in love with him now and he doesn't-
...?
Holy. Shit.
I'm in love with Edward Cullen.
No. No, no, no. No, this cannot be happening! What the fuck? How did this happen? Oh my God, why did I have to realize this now of all nights? Could this not have happened before now? Shit. What the hell am I going to do?
I used Esme's courtesy toiletries and tried to figure things out while I washed. Visions of mine and Edwards unlikely union mixed with the more likely visions of him laughing at me just before he strolled away with his arm around some cheap tart.
One thing was for certain, I was not going to tell Edward about any of this. We'd had fights about stupid things before. This would be like that. I would be hurt about him saying the thought of being with me was disgusting, and he would pretend to feel bad about it. Fight over, friendship back on track. Sounded like a good plan, anyway.
I finished up and turned the water off, wringing out what was left in my hair before getting my towel. I dried what I could of my skin and then wrapped my hair, turban style. I reached for my pajamas, but stopped short. Crap, this night just kept getting better. In my rush to get away from Edward I forgot to grab my bag.
Well, Alice should be nearby somewhere. I pulled the towel down and wrapped it around myself so I didn't give anyone any impromptu flashes. I knocked and opened the door to the guest room, but it was empty. I shut the door and then tried the other one. I poked my head in to the hallway and heard Alice's voice trail down the hallway.
"...then you need to decide what you're going to do."
"I don't know what to do exactly, but I do know that this can't happen anymore. I just hate that I could lose my best friend over something like this."
Edward. She was talking to Edward, and he was talking about me. And, from the sound of things, he wasn't planning on letting this go. Not only that, but it sounded like he was already thinking of ways to let me down easy and knew it was probably going to embarrass the shit out of me.
For a minute, my heart hurt too much to breathe, but I didn't let any tears fall. I just needed to get out of here before he had a chance to bury the hatchet in my back.
"Hey, Alice? Are you out there?"
I heard footsteps rounding the corner, and then she came in view, my bag hanging from her arm.
"Here. Edward said you left it in his car."
"Yeah. Thanks."
I reached my hand out to take it from her, but she didn't move to release it.
"Bella, you know that you can talk to me about this, right?"
"About what, Alice? There's nothing to talk about."
"Whatever, Bella. You know what I mean."
"Well, even if I do, that doesn't mean I'm going to talk about it, so just hand me my bag please."
Thankfully she just nodded and turned my bag over to me. I knew I could trust her, but I didn't trust myself not to look like an even bigger idiot. I wrapped my hair back up and then dressed as quickly as I could.
I eased the door open and listened, but didn't hear anyone. I took several tentative steps until I reached the entryway. I could hear Edward in the kitchen, talking to his parents most likely, so I knew it was now or never.
I saw his keys laying on the table, and before I could think twice about it, I grabbed them and slipped out the front door. I knew he would have a fit about his baby being gone, but I was already gonna lose him, so what did it matter in the long run? I would bring it back in the morning and catch a ride back to Seattle with Alice and Jasper.
I threw my bag on the passenger seat and settled in behind the wheel. I had to adjust the seat and lower the steering wheel, then placed the key in the ignition. I had a sudden pang of guilt about taking it without telling him, but he wouldn't let me leave if I asked. I decided to shoot him a quick text and be gone.
I pulled the phone from my pocket and started typing.
I have the car. Won't hurt it. Be back in the morning, and will hitch with Al & Jas.
Sorry, Frmr Bestie, Bella "The Jerk" Swan.
I hit the send button with one hand and turned the ignition with the other at the same time. I didn't wait for a response before I put the car in gear and left.
I drove straight to Charlie's house and pulled along the curb instead of in to the driveway so that the headlights wouldn't disturb anyone. I got out of the car and shut the door quietly then tip-toed to the front door.
I reached for the spare key, still hidden in the same spot as always, and let myself in. I could hear Charlie snoring away upstairs, and figured Sue was with him since all the lights were off downstairs. I managed not to trip over anything as I crept up the stairs towards my old room. I could see a light shining beneath the door, and heard what sounded like a video game.
I knock quietly then opened the door, just as Seth turned to see who was coming in.
"Hey, Bella! What are you doing here? I thought Charlie said you were staying at the Cullen's place."
"Yeah, well, things changed. Mind if I crash with you tonight?"
"Nah, but are you sure you wanna sleep on the floor? You could always stay on the couch."
I cocked my brow at him and then we both shuddered. He was backtracking before I could get the image of Charlie and Sue getting hot and heavy on said couch.
"Never mind, forget I asked. Pull up a seat and grab a remote. Let's kill some vamps."
I settled beside him and we started playing, laughing at the ridiculous graphics. A few minutes in and I actually forgot why I was there. I was having fun. Of course, that couldn't last, now could it?
"Bells, did you hear that?"
I paused the game and listened... "Hear what?"
Just then there was a pinging sound at the window. It sounded like something was hitting it.
"That. It 's coming from the window."
"Well, you're the man here, go look."
"Nuh uh. You're older, you do it."
I looked at him wondering if he had left his balls in his purse.
"Fine, Bella. But if I get shot by some crazy asshole, you'd better help my mom pay for the funeral."
I rolled my eyes at him and watched as he crawled on his hands and knees towards the window. I saw something small hit the glass, and heard the resulting sound. It had come from somewhere on the ground.
Seth had finally made it over and slowly peeked his head over the sill, trying to peer out in the darkness.
"Bella, I don't know what's going on, but you and Cullen aren't gonna act out some high school fantasy in my room. I don't care if he does scale the side of the house, he's not coming in here, and you're not nastying up my sheets."
"What? You're sick. What?"
"Cullen's out here."
"Oh, shit. He probably wants his car back. I'll deal with this."
I crossed the room and got his keys from my bag. I wanted to retain some dignity so I planned on keeping this as short as possible. I walked back to the window and opened it as far as I could.
I held the keys up until they caught his eye, then dropped them and watched as he reached out and caught them.
"Sorry about the grand theft. Just tell Alice to swing by here on her way back."
I started to bring my head back in the window, but he stopped me.
"Bella, wait!"
"What?"
"Why did you run off?"
"Look, Edward, let's not make this any more difficult than it already is. I know you don't want me hanging around anymore. I heard you talking to Alice, so let's just cut the shit. You don't have to feel bad about it, shit happens."
"First of all, you don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you heard, but you should have talked to me before running off like that. Stop being so ridiculous and come out here to talk to me."
"No can do my former friend. I'm hanging on to my last shred of dignity."
"You think this is dignified behavior? Bella, come down here now, or I'm coming up. I mean it."
I didn't even get a chance to respond before Seth was leaning out the window next to me.
"She'll be right down. Not my room, not tonight, not any night."
Edward looked confused, and Seth yanked me back inside, then pushed me to the door.
"Go. I've got friends coming to pick me up in about thirty minutes, so you need to either be gone or be in bed. I can risk sneaking out if you're still here roaming around everywhere."
I shook my head at him and snuck back downstairs. I could see Edward through the door, waiting on the front porch. I pulled on my jacket and went outside.
"Look, I'm sorry about your car. I swear I didn't hurt it, or get it dirty. You've got your keys, you can go."
"What's with the attitude? I don't give a damn about the car. I'm here because my best friend ran out on me without so much as a 'fuck you'. What the hell is going on with you?"
"Look, just do us both a favor and get the Bella pity party out of your head right now. I heard you tell Alice that you were gonna lose your best friend over 'this', which I am assuming refers to that stupid kiss. I know you would try to make me understand why you didn't want to be friends anymore, and I figured I would just save us both the trouble. End of story. Feel free to leave any time now."
I knew that I should be nicer, but I couldn't stop myself from being angry. Angry at the world for dangling someone so great right in front of me, but so far out of reach, and angry at him for not wanting me back.
He let out a huff and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"So you think it was stupid then, the kiss? You think it was stupid?"
"It doesn't matter what I think, Edward."
"Shit Bella. It does, it really does. It matters to me."
Neither of us spoke. He looked at me, and I looked out toward the street. I couldn't look him in the eye, because I knew I would tell him the truth. I'd never been able to lie to him, not about something important. Needing to leave his place and go to the store because my period showed up early? Yeah, absolutely. But never about something this big.
It seemed like forever, though it probably wasn't more than a minute or two before he finally spoke again.
"Bella, please, look at me."
I shook my head, "No, Edward. I'm not going to be prostrate at your feet like some simple minded fan girl that lost her shit watching you eat ice cream in a park on a hot day. Just get it over with."
"Can you NOT bring up stupid things that happened ONE time? First Tanya, now this? Just for tonight, can you STOP with the BULLSHIT? I didn't know that girl was following me home! Let it GO already!"
"You know what, Edward, there's nothing that I can say in this situation without looking like some huge idiot, so by all means, feel free to speak your piece, then go.
He shove his hands in his hair and then turned it circles on the porch. It was meant to be a pace, but there wasn't enough room, so he ended up looking like a schnauzer I once had that would chase his tail for hours.
"Fine, Bella. If you won't say it, I will... That kiss that we had threw me for a fucking loop. I didn't know what the fuck had happened, why it happened, or what changed. All I knew, no , all I know, is that it meant something to me. It meant everything to me. I don't know how you feel about me and to be perfectly honest I'm not one hundred percent sure how I feel about you, but know this, I want to figure it out. I want to kiss you again and again and again. I want to hold you until my arms ache. I want to feel your skin against mine, moving underneath me. I want to know you in the most intimate of ways. I want to fall asleep with your taste on my tongue, just to wake up and want a reminder. I want you to want me. I just want... I just... I... FUCK!"
I was dumbstruck. Literally dumb. I could not speak. My mind was stuck on the spin cycle, constantly replaying the same line over, and over... 'I want to fall asleep with your taste on my tongue, just to wake up and want a reminder'. Now all I could envision was his tongue on my naughty bits...
I didn't know it was possible to get that wet that fast. But, oh, it happened. Yeah, I got that he was confused about his feelings for me. I got that he may not be in love with me like I am with him. But I also got that he wants to taste me.
Sweet mother Mary and Joseph. It. Is. On.
I couldn't form words. My tongue was fully functional, but it was preoccupied and doing stretches for what was about to come. Hee hee, I thought come. Cum. SQUEEEE!
He had his back turned to me and his arms were braced on the railing, stretching out the muscles in his back. My hands couldn't decide where to land first, so I was standing there moving like a mime stuck in a box. One minute my hands were up, then they were down, then in the middle, then up... it was too much.
Finally, finally, I moved so that I was directly behind him, and wrapped my arms, so that each hand was resting on his chest, and leaned forward so that my entire body was flush against his back. I never noticed before how tight his back muscles were, or his ass... ;) Crap, I was thinking in emoticons now.
"Edward, I don't' know what to say. Wait, that's not completely true. I do know what I should say, but I'm not sure if it would make things better or worse right now. "
He sighed and hung his head, "Bella, just say it. We've never had to dance around each other before, and I don't want to start now."
"Okay, you're right, but I need you to turn around right now, so I can't chicken out."
I loosened my grip so that he could face me. Once he was around, he didn't move to wrap his arms around me, or embrace me in any way, he simply placed his hands against the railing and leaned backwards, looking down at my face.
I let go of him and backed three steps away, keeping my focus on the floor. I thought I was brave enough, but I wasn't. Too late to back out now.
"Edward, I have always loved you, as a friend. Tonight, when that kiss happened, I was just as confused and scared about what it meant as you were. I didn't want to lose you in my life. I know that I need to have you in my life in whatever capacity I can have you. Unfortunately it didn't take long for me to realize that not only do I love you as a friend, but I am in love with you as more, much more. If you don't feel the same way then I will completely understand, but I need to know that you won't cut me out of your life. I promise that if you want me to, I will do my best to fall out of love with you. I would do that, for you. To keep you."
I expected a lot of things to happen. I expected him to not answer me. I expected him to leave. I expected him to yell at me and never speak to me again. I didn't expect him to laugh. Oh, and laugh he did. Loudly and not humorously at all.
"Jesus, Edward! My dad, the CHIEF of POLICE, is asleep not fifty feet away from here, and he keeps a loaded pistol in his nightstand. Shut the hell up!"
"Yeah, well, maybe I should wake him up. Maybe I should march up those steps, knock on his door, and tell him that his only daughter is so blind and bad at reading people that she can't even see the forest for the trees when it comes to her lifelong best friend!"
"What the fuck are you babbling about Cullen?"
"This is what I'm babbling about, Swan."
I didn't even have time to react, but I did have time to see his hands coming for me. He grabbed me, so that he held my head in his hands, and kissed me. He kissed me. Oh fuck, he kissed me.
His lips were so soft, and so sweet, like he had been eating strawberry flavored hard candy when he got here. The taste was only intensified when he forced his tongue past my lips and started coaxing me in to some alternate universe. Suddenly up was down, down was up, left was right, and right was wrong.
I have no idea how long it lasted, but it was long enough for me to envision weddings and babies. He finally broke it, and pressed his forehead against mine. When I opened my eyes he was staring in to mine, reaching with green tendrils trying to feel my spirit. If I didn't know any better I would think that spirit he was looking for lived somewhere between the tops of my thighs, and I was hoping his searching eyes would find it and stroke it like they were alive.
"Bella, I have to be honest. When I had Alice and Jasper drop me off, I wasn't sure what I wanted to hear from you. I wasn't sure that I was ready to make any type of decision about us. But I do know, that now, now I want you to hear me when I tell you that I am so in love with you. I have known for some time now that there was something puling me to you, but I didn't know what it was. I thought that it was just another aspect of our friendship, strengthening itself. I didn't know until now that it was actually the start of a another type of relationship. Bella, I want to be with you, now, and for a long, long time. Please say that you will give me a chance."
I smiled, and couldn't contain the joyous giggle that forced its way out. "Yes, Edward, I'll give you as many chances as it takes." I pressed my lips against his and ground my pushed him until I was pressing him against the railing. "Now shut up, and finish what you started at the beach."
I felt the air swirling around me and I felt his hands on my legs as he picked me up and started walking to his car. I heard the beep of the alarm being turned off, and I felt myself being lowered on to the back seat before he broke away and closed the door behind him.
"Edward, don't start something you won't finish."
"Seats, Schmeats, I never thought anyone was worth getting my car dirty, but now all I can think about is how this car isn't worthy to be dirtied by you. I know I should be more chivalrous, and insist that we wait until we get back to Seattle and can do this at my place, or yours, but I can't. I need you too much."
"Edward, shut up and make love to me."
He dove on top of me and pressed me in to the seat with his body weight. It was oh, so delightful. It felt like his body was the only thing that kept me tethered to the earth. His hands on my breasts were acting as anchors, I wanted him to stake me to the ground.
We were a mess of arms and legs, and groping hands. Fingers were exploring, touching, teasing. Our mouths were worshippers at the altar of carnal pleasure. Apparently his tongue also went deep enough to touch my brain and cause me to wax poetic about our current situation.
Clothes were removed and names were whispered. Fingers left marks to prove that one belonged to the other. Teeth were used to coax intimate pleasure, and hips were used to gain our own heights.
I had never felt so loved and so thoroughly worshiped than I had in that span of twenty minutes. My cries of pleasure were mixed with his own, and they concluded in a symphony of ragged breaths and heaving chests.
He held me when it was over. He clung to me like his life depended on it, and I returned just as good as I got. I wrapped my legs around him and held him to me like a life jacket in the midst of a mid-ocean hurricane. I wasn't letting him go any time soon.
Well, I wasn't planning to anyway.
Our heads snapped up at the same time, turning to look out the front windshield of his car. To my dismay, there were all four of Seth's friends, cameras in hand, and they were all about one second away from whipping out their adolescent dicks.
Edward scrambled to cover me up with whatever clothes he could find. he was trying to protect me, all while cussing at the rag tag group of guys.
"Edward, calm down, I've got this."
I reached behind my head and rolled the rear window down.
"Hey Quil, bring me your phone. I promise I won't break it, I just need to borrow it for a moment."
I heard footsteps and soon I felt the cold metal being placed in my outstretched hands. I pulled it down so that I could see what I was doing and, then went about getting things taken care of. I keyed a few buttons and then deleted the photos that Quill had.
"Hey, you promised!"
"No, I promised I wouldn't break it."
Quill huffed and walked off to join his friends who had loaded back in to Sam's car, waiting for Seth.
"So, you think tampering with one kids phone is going to stop the rest of them from looking at theirs?"
"No, Edward, but I do think that your harem won't be too happy when they see that I posted those pics to my Facebook page, and tagged you in them. Oh and I hope it wasn't too presumptuous, but I went ahead and updated my relationship status."
THE END