Disclaimer: Not mine
AN: Thanks to Jedisapphire for the beta
Summary: A game of truth or dare starts out as fun but then becomes revealing in the most heartfelt way.
o0o
Everything connected to the Mark of Cain including the tattoo on Dean's arm was a thing of the past now. The Angels were back in Heaven and the cold war between the brothers long forgotten. Their experience taking down Metatron and Dean's addiction to the First Blade showing them both how much more alike they are than different. That each brother had no problem sacrificing themselves for the greater good but found it impossible to stand by and watch the other do so.
Sam cured Dean using his own blood. The ritual for both brothers physically and emotionally exhausting but when completed had deepened their bond in a newly profound way.
The Winchester brothers had come full circle and were glad to be back to their kind of normal, saving people, hunting things, following in their Dad's footsteps with the family business.
But most of all they were happiest to be on this journey truly together.
o0o
Sam and Dean were mid way through a weekend of much-needed down time after a rough and lengthy hunt. Saturday night included a couple of movies, pizza and plenty of drinking. Dean doing most of the drinking.
Planted at the top of Sam's bed most of the evening Dean was getting very chatty. Something he had to be pretty wasted to do and he was now babbling on about when they were kids.
"Truth or Dare Sammy?" Dean blurted out.
"What?" Sam asked amused by its randomness.
"Truth or Dare. Let's play."
"No way," Sam answered resting his head on the back of the chair he straddled.
"Come on Sammy. Don't be a party pooper chose one."
"It's really late Dean and you're drunk."
"So," Dean raised his hands puzzled at what that had to do with anything.
"No," Sam repeated.
"Why not? You use to love playing this game."
"Yeah, when we were kids Dean and when you weren't so wasted."
"Come on loosen up and have some fun!" Dean said lightly encouraging his brother to play.
"I am loose and I am having fun." Sam insisted.
"I'd say that stick up your.."
"Shut up!"
"Sam when did you get to be so old."
"Just because I don't want to play this game and let you find some new way to embarrass me doesn't make me old."
"Ah come on Sammy. You know I'm just teasing you," Dean pleaded knowing he'd get his baby brother to cave.
"You should go to bed Dean."
"I'm in bed."
"Your own wise ass."
"Killjoy."
"Okay," Sam caved. "I'll play. But just one time each."
"Once?" Dean whined.
"Take it or leave it," Sam said firmly.
I'll take it," Dean agreed.
"Truth," Sam said knowing he'd regret it.
"Okay Sammy at what age did you lose your virginity?"
Sam regretted it.
"You already know the answer to that," Sam reminded Dean, wondering why he agreed to this knowing what a prick his brother could be while drunk.
"Yeah but you never told me about your first time."
"Its called privacy Dean! So why not ask a question you don't know."
"Because I want to ask this question and I want details."
"I was 18 Dean," Sam answered. "As for details you can forget it!"
"Did you say 18?" Dean cupped his ear pretending not to hear.
"Yes," Sam gritted through his teeth, his face starting to turn red.
"Oh don't feel embarrassed Sammy some of us are late bloomers."
"I'm sorry Dean, sex to me means more than the recreational sport complete with statistics that you turned it into."
"Yep! Dean Winchester plays in the majors. Sammy plays in the minors."
"You're a dick you know that Dean," But Sam knew he had only himself to blame. He knew what to expect yet he played anyway.
"Ah Sammy," Dean smirked. "I only tease the ones I love."
"Truth or Dare Dean?" Sam huffed.
"Truth."
"Okay," Sam began. "It has to be something big."
"Hey didn't we just cover big," Dean chuckled glancing at his crotch and then back up at Sam.
"Okay," Sam said looking annoyed."Let me rephrase that for the creepy old man with the pretty boy face. I mean huge in the way of not about sex. But more in the way of a secret you've kept. Something you'd feel really uncomfortable about telling me."
Sam wanted a little pay back but what he really wanted was to learn more about his big brother. Not to embarrass him but know him better as a person.
"So you want to know something about your big brother," Dean smiled his eyes twinkling. "You are such a girl sometimes Sammy."
The warmth in Dean's voice made Sam smile. Dean had the power to do that. To take anything he felt annoyed or mad at him for and just make it evaporate.
Slouching down into a comfortable sleeping position Dean said. "I once had a best friend."
"What?" Sam asked surprised.
"I mean you're my best friend Sammy. Always will be."
"Dean, you don't have to explain yourself. I'd love for you to have friends."
"Well I don't want any but you."
"Dean..," Sam's eyes filled in what words couldn't.
"Are you going to let me talk or just pound puppy me to death with those peepers."
"Sorry go ahead. But Dean how don't I know this?" Sam asked.
"You never met him," Dean said adjusting the pillows under his head. "I got to see him on and off for about a year and an half , when ever our Dad and his would hunt together. You were only 6 and stayed with Bobby while we were gone.
"What was his name," Sam asked knowing between the late hour and the amount of booze his brother had that he was going to pass out soon.
Ethan, and he was cool," Dean continued. "A young hunter like me learning the ropes and it was great having some one my age who understood this life that I could talk to and even hang out with. Then he died, rather he was killed by a ...," Dean paused a moment. "It doesn't matter, he was dead."
"I'm sorry Dean," Sam said softly.
"Yeah it sucked and I didn't know how to deal with it. I was scared that it could happen to me and then I wouldn't be able to watch out for you and sad too because he didn't deserve it. I was mad at his Dad for putting him in danger and just mostly, I don't know, lost I guess. Dad tried to talk to me said he was sorry but that I had to get used to it, because losing people came with the territory."
Sam bottled the anger he felt over his father's insensitivity.
"I tried seeing it Dad's way as the risk that came with the job. I really did. But I couldn't shake it or get past it, that is not until this little brat of a brother reminded me of what I have. You even bucked Dad's orders for me," Dean said softly closing his eyes. "My Sammy."
Sam misty eyed from his brother's revelation about the loss of a friend and by his use of the term my Sammy. Something he hadn't heard Dean say in a couple of decades had really wanted Dean to finish his story.
But for some reason Sam seemed to already know it.
o0o
Sam grabbed a blanket from on top of an old trunk and covered his brother with it. Gently sitting on the edge of the bed he watched Dean sleep as bits and pieces of a memory that had no context before now found one.
Sam did remember a conversation his father had with him about Dean when he was very young and that it took place at some hunter's house they stayed at occasionally while he was away on a job. But only told Dean was going through a rough time, not to bother him and that until otherwise told he'd be sleeping on the pop out couch in the living room, not in the bedroom he usually shared with Dean.
Dad also made it clear he was not to pester Dean by climbing into bed with him at night which Sam often did when he was scared or couldn't sleep or he just wanted to.
Sam was used to how John and Dean acted when they were keeping something from him. They did it often enough. But this secret was different as it was about Dean and Dean was not acting like himself and Sam remembered how much it scared him. His big brother was his hero and his world so one night he ignored Dad's orders and snuck upstairs into Dean's room and climbed up on his bed.
Dean sat up glad to see Sam but worrying about how angry Dad would be told him to quickly go. But Sam refused to leave instead curling up next to Dean and Dean not putting up much of an argument put his arm around Sam, asking why he was there knowing what their Dad was capable of when he'd been drinking and his orders not followed.
"You alway take care of me Dean. Now I'm going to take care of you," Sam remembered his words but more notably his brother's emotional reaction. Which caused him to think he'd upset Dean more and had made a mistake breaking Dad's rules. But that fear quickly vanished when a teary eyed Dean pulled Sam's head to his chest,"Thank you Sammy. "he said wrapping him in his arms tightly, "My Sammy."
o0o
Sam thought about when they were young and how he'd echo his brother's words with My Dean. Sometimes they would repeat it back and forth each saying it louder than the other in competition. But it wasn't until he was older that Sam realized the deeper meaning to them. That they were not alone words of deep affection and playful possession but of Sam being Dean's anchor in this world like Dean is his.
Sam lightly stroked Dean's face his hand coming to rest on his brother's arm. Outside of life or death circumstances or actually returning from the dead not many chances came along for Sam to show any kind of physical affection with out the risk of getting punched in the face if he tried. So he took this rare opportunity to do so.
o0o
"I'm glad things are good with us," Sam spoke to his sleeping brother. "Best they've been in like forever and I'm happy with what we do trying to make a difference in this world. But it still hits me every once in a while knowing that you gave up that wonderful normal life you found at Sonnys and that you did it for me.
"No matter how many times you deny it by saying it wasn't you or brushing off my thanks by telling me you don't know what I'm talking about."
Sam stood up knowing the few hours sleep he'd get would be in Dean's bed.
"You've always watched out for me, protected me and had my back but giving up that, its something I'll never forget. Sam leaned over and kissed his brother lightly on the forehead. "Thank you Dean," he said softly than added with a smile. "My Dean."