The Ballad of James Sawyer
(sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies: The Ballad of Jed Clampett)
Come 'n listen to my story about a man named James,
A used car salesman barely kept his family name.
And then one day he was settlin' a feud,
He put a round in the shrimp sellin' dude.
Killed 'em, that is. Dead cold. Texas justice.
Well, the next thing ya know James is fallin' from the air,
Kin-folk dead. James killed a polar bear.
Seems Californy is the place he oughta be,
But he ended up "Lost" on his way to Beverly.
Hills, that is. Swimmin' pools. Movie stars.
Ol' James has a passion, Oh lawdy it's the hunnies,
An' readin' that book about the talkin' bunnies.
He's a grifter and a rogue, he'll put kittens in a sack,
Steal your only shoes 'n make ya pay to get 'em back.
Cash, that is. Dead presidents. Trade and barter.
Well now its time to say goodbye to James and all his sins,
And he'd like to thank you ladies fer kindly droppin' in.
You're all invited back next week to this calamity,
To have a heapin helpin' of his hospitality.
Hillbilly, that is. Set a spell. Take your clothes off.
Y'all come back now y'hear?
written by mudhoney ©2005