Greetings. Jay here, with his first fan fiction. This is what people here call, a one-shot. Minor Advance Shipping, no M rated content. Probably.
The first to my Ash's Bad Day one shots. Might do more, if this one is well received and if the head cooperates. This is basically a random humor fic. Not much romance, and definitely not any battling. (Sowweh, folks.) By the way, I got a lot of questions from the person who first read this one, so let's clear them out firsthand.
Delia isn't at Ash's place. She's is actually away on her vacation, much like Brock's parents usually are. May's 14, Ash 15. Ash is chilling at home after having tried most of the leagues, and even winning a few of them. Plus, May has an Abra on her team now.
That summer afternoon, the humble Pallet town was as full of life as ever. Birds chirping, trees dancing and Pokemon rejoicing in the glorious glow of the sun… People waved greetings to each other, basking in the sunlight of the abnormally sunlit day. The mere beauteous diversity of Professor Oak's Pokeranch was enough to soothe the bones of even the fiercest beasts that dwelled within it…
One particular house in Pallet down didn't have it so good, for this was the house of Ash Ketchum, Pokemon Master extraordinaire and the child prodigy trainer. Sort of. Let's see what we find in this young man's place of origins, shall we?
This was unexpected….Just way too much a surprise….Inexplicably unexpected…
Ash Ketchum had about one hour left...One single hour before the joyful life he'd lived so far turned sour…And he was wasting it by running around and doing some kind of random flail attacks on the stuff in his room in a desperate attempt to clean everything at the once…
Pikachu lay on Ash's messy bed, frowning at its trainer's weird and unusual eccentricities. Now, Pikachu was used to Ash going on his crazy ADHD rampages but Ash Ketchum trying to clean up? That was way too out of place, even for HIS standards.
"Why are you slapping things together?"
"I'm not slapping them, Pikachu!" Ash protested, dusting his mom's old Rhyperior vase. "I'm trying to clean up!"
"Well, that's even weirder. Any specific reasons for being so out of character?" Pikachu crossed his arms in a Delia imitation. Ash looked at him with desperate eyes.
"You know why! May called in earlier…You know that little surprise she had planned for us?" He wailed, now trying to stuff a pair of socks in his vastly underused sock drawer. "It was that Wallace talked her into trying his Wallace cup. And she's gonna be visiting me before meeting him in Viridian city…"
"What's so bad about that?" Pikachu shrugged. "You've been raving about meeting her ever since last month when May announced her dad's transfer to the Kanto region and how her family would live in the Pewter City."
"But that was when I expected MYSELF to go and meet her! Norman's gonna be the new Viridian gym leader. She said in her call that she was about to give us a surprise visit but got stuck with some gym errands for him…" Ash sat down and buried his face in his palms. He spoke with a voice close to crying. "She said that she has recently dealt with them, and is on her way as we speak…I can't let a clean freak like her to see my room…"
"Geez. Cool your thong, Ash. How bad can it be?" Pikachu sighed. "If you can survive my thunderbolts, you can survive hell."
Ash looked at Pikachu with a forced grin. He picked him up and brought his tiny little head an inch from his own, staring into his eyes with something like a madman's glint in his eyes.
"Pikachu…as your trainer, I know all about your most powerful attacks…" Ash said, his tone shaking from insanity and his forced grin wavering. "And therefore trust me. Nothing you could ever manage to do would even come close to what May could do to me if she spares a glance at this room."
Ash gestured towards the room.
"Still…She's not THAT dangerous." Pikachu shook his head in denial. Ash smirked madly.
"Remember her at the Sinnoh Wallace cup? When that restaurant's food got stolen by Team Rocket?"
"…point proven. But then again, your room is- "
Pikachu looked behind himself, checking out the usual scenery which he never paid much attention to.
The bedsheets were lying on the floor as if they'd thrown away. Ash's wardrobe hung open with some messy shirts hanging from its door. A rotting half eaten apple was lying on top of the television. Some empty cans of soda were huddled up right beside the washroom entrance. The right wall of the room was covered in something yellow and smelly, which Pikachu hoped was just rotting cheese stains. Pokemagazines of the latest Pokemon Leagues were almost completely covering the floor like a paper carpet. The mirror, some hair accessories and Delia's dusting equipment were all lying piled up in one corner, lamenting their utter abandonment.
Suddenly, Pikachu realized why his sense was smell wasn't as good as his other Pikapals. He had thought it was something genetic, but he realized now that it was because of Ash. Living in his room had pretty much murdered his sense of smell. Ash's stable of a room resembled that of a typical alcoholic war veteran.
"-Absolutely repulsive. You're WAY in deep. Remind me why we live together again…?"Pikachu sighed.
"Hey, shut it." Ash protested. "Don't deny that you didn't notice it until now either…"
"So…Shouldn't you be cleaning right now?" Pikachu rolled his eyes at his trainer.
"…CRAP." Ash muttered and grabbed his wet dusting cloth.
He started trying to clean the wall stain first. The thing was humongous. Pikachu couldn't even remember its origins, but he had a vague image of Gary's imported nachos whenever he saw it.
"You know…There's this thing called a vacuum cleaner in mom's old wardrobe. You might wanna check it out." Pikachu sighed, looking at the dust covered floor.
Ash stopped for a second, staring at the ground as if just realizing the true extents of his stupidity. Just the next moment, he dashed away towards his mom's wardrobe quicker than Pikachu's Volt Tackle.
Pikachu followed Ash downstairs, only to find him struggling/raping the vacuum cleaner. The extension wire for the cleaner was all wound up together for it to occupy less space. Ash was unwinding its cord and trying to plug it in hopelessly.
"Have you ever even used one of these?" Pikachu slapped his PikaForehead.
"Of course I have Pikachu. What do you think mom made me do when Mr. Mime wasn't here?" Ash said indignantly. "It's just that mom always used to hand it to me fully connected."
Pikachu sighed, jumping up and snatching the plug from Ash.
"Leave it to the pro."
Pikachu unwound the wire and plugged it in the socket as easily as an electric mouse could. The socket sparked a bit, but that didn't bother Pikachu in the least. He then proceeded to cross his arms and look at Ash with a bit of disdain.
"That's all the help you'll be getting from me. Now get to work before May decides to just teleport here with her Abra."
"Her bra? How's that going to-"
"Just get back to work." Pikachu sighed in defeat.
"It wouldn't kill you to help me out a little bit, you know?" Ash muttered indignantly.
"Yes, but it would make me miss the live telecast of the Silver Conference which, you may have guessed, I won't stand for." Pikachu said calmly.
"Wait, it was today?" Ash exclaimed in disbelief.
Pikachu threw him the dusting cloth.
"Yep. Enjoy."
Ash's face grew red with a mixture of frustration and indecisiveness. In the end, he just tore himself away from the living room and ran back upstairs with the vacuum cleaner, nearly tripping himself on its long extension wire.
"You'd expect him to grow up after having seen so many things…" Pikachu sighed. "Well, more things change, the more they stay the same I guess."
Pikachu followed Ash upstairs and switched on the television, gluing himself to it. Soon after, his TVtrance was broken by an extremely loud crashing noise from behind.
Pikachu turned back instinctively only to find the last thing he wanted to see. Ash had gone and hopelessly entangled himself in the long vacuum cleaner extention wires and was now lying on the ground, struggling to free himself. He had probably hit the dust bag accidentally, since the room was even more covered with dust now than it already was.
"This…Damn…Piece of junk…." Ash muttered while struggling to free himself. "Gonna…complain….to the makers for making something this useless…"
"They'd counter-sue you. It's not the machine that's useless." Pikachu remarked. "Well…Just hold still."
Ash stopped his thrashing and settled down, expecting Pikachu to untangle him. Instead, Pikachu's natural mouse instincts kicked in as he cut through Ash's wire bounds. They sparked quite a number of times, but Pikachu wasn't about to be affected by that.
Once it was all over, Ash just stared at Pikachu in complete disbelief.
"What have you done…?"
"You mean apart from saving your skin?"
"You cut through the wires! How am I going to use the cleaner now!?" Ash wailed helplessly.
"Chill, Ash." Pikachu sighed. "We have a spare wire extension in the closet. Besides, I only did it since we didn't have time to start unwinding it."
The mention of time snapped Ash back to his senses. He dared a glance at the clock, only to have his jaw hit the floor.
"TEN MINUTES TO THREE! MAY WILL BE HERE IN TEN FRIGGING MINUTES!" He screamed and ran into the washroom. Pikachu scratched his head in confusion.
"Is this really a good time to be taking a dump?"
"I'd left my Pokeballs strapped to my other belt…I just need…"
Out he came, holding a pokeball triumphantly. He held it out to Pikachu, as if showing off his superior brain power.
"See this, Pikachu? He's going to actually help me get rid of that wall stain, unlike you." Ash pointed at the room wall.
"This does not bode well…"
"Now then… I choose you, Muk!" Ash yelled and threw his Pokeball in the air. Out came a slimy purple Pokémon around double the size of Pikachu.
"Muk, I need you to use acid on that wall!" Ash said, grinning like crazy and pointing at the yellow stained wall. "And put your heart in it."
Muk grinned and nodded.
"Huh?! Wait, no! Don't do that! That's a terrible ide-"
Too late. As Pikachu watched, Muk fired purplish blobs of acid towards the wall. They hit it with a gross splashing sound. The entire wall got painted purple and started smoking slightly.
"Ugh…"Pikachu slapped his own forehead.
"Wait…So, what just happened?"
"Ash, I'm going to regret asking this, but how the HELL did you come to the conclusion that Muk's acid would work on that stain?"
"Silly Pikachu." Ash chuckled while shaking his head disappointedly. "Haven't you seen those cleaning commercials? If acid works on marble toilets, it'll work just as well on cement. Just give it some time."
"Those are cleaning acids, you dolt!" Pikachu sighed exasperatedly. "And how the hell would they work on cement?"
"Well, both the toilets from the commercial and my wall had yellow-colored stains on them." Ash pointed out like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Pikachu just looked at Ash in disbelief, as if trying to figure out how a single human being can be so very amazingly idiotic.
"Where do you draw these logics of yours from?"
"From my amazing brain of course." Ash grinned and pointed towards his head.
"That figures." Pikachu sighed.
Ash's grin melted when he glanced at the clock.
"DAMMIT PIKACHU! TWO MINUTES TO THREE!" He screamed, grabbing a dusting wipe. "STOP DISTRACTING ME!"
"Distracting you? Yeah, sure. Why not?" Pikachu sighed and just grabbed a wet cloth, trying to wipe the sludge off the wall.
Just as Ash recalled Muk and was about to try and clean the door, the doorbell echoed throughout the house. A sharp, yet clear sound which seemed to freeze Ash's very bone marrow...
"Guess who that is." Pikachu giggled at Ash's terrified expression.
The bell sounded again.
"Uh…C-Coming!" Ash called and turned towards Pikachu. "Pikachu, go and open the front door. Try and buy me some time!"
"Fat chance. I have my Silver Conference to attend to-"
Pikachu didn't get to finish his sentence. Ash changed the channel, grabbed the TV remote and threw it out the window into the grassy fields in the horizon.
"You were saying?"
"FINE! Obviously I have nothing better to do anyway." Pikachu sighed grumpily and ran back downstairs.
Pikachu opened the door, revealing a blue eyed brunette around the same height as Ash and her same old Johto outfit. She was carrying a young Squirtle in her arms which greeted Pikachu his own name. May's two brown bangs seemed to be tickling Squirtle and making him giggle, but May apparently was dense enough to think Squirtle was just feeling happy.
"Hey Pikachu! Long time no see!" May smiled and pulled Pikachu into a big hug, crushing him along with squirtle.
"Gee lady. Been working out?" Pikachu remarked but smiled nonetheless.
"I'm happy to see you too!" May chirped, probably clueless to what Pikachu said. "Say, where's Ash? I haven't seen him since AGES!"
Buy him some time huh…?
Pikachu immediately pointed at the staircase to the first floor. He wasn't about to forgive Ash for making him miss the Silver Conference. Apparently, Ash was familiar with Pikachu's grudge-holding tactics, since just as he was pointing there, Ash appeared and started walking down the staircase. He stopped right before May.
"Hey May. Glad you could make it." Ash said, with a somewhat forced smile. He then turned towards Pikachu, an anime vein visible on his forehead. "And Pikachu? Won't you please fetch us some drinks from the kitchen upstairs? May and Squirtle must be feeling tired."
Pikachu just stuck his tongue out at him and scuttled back upstairs, almost running into Ash as he did.
"Thanks, but it's fine, really. A really nice guy with spiky brown hair gave me a ride on his bike. That's how I was able to get here right on time. He said he knew you."
If I survive, I'm going to murder your ass, Gary.- Ash made a mental note.
"Well, don't just stand there. Come on in." Ash smiled and gestured toward the living room.
"Oh come on, Ash. Don't go all guest and host on me. I wanna see your room!" She smiled back.
"Uh…M-My room?" Ash stammered, looking around for anything that would help him. "Uh…Wait, don't you wanna check out the living room? The décor has been arranged by my mom herself!"
"Um…Sure, I guess." May frowned confusedly for a moment but then waved it off with a smile. "Well, I've only got like, half an hour so you better show me your room before that."
"Why? Is something wrong?" Ash asked.
"Oh, nothing. Dad just insists that his little girl be back before sundown." May rolled her eyes.
"That's great!" Ash yelled. May glanced at him confusedly. "Um…I mean, it's great how he cares about you so much. Mhm, now that's a real good daddy."
Half hour huh? Ash thought. That's good….No, that's great. That's way better than I'd expected.
"Right…So, lead the way then."
Ash led her into the living room, sitting her down on the bean-bag and dropping himself on the couch. Soon after, Pikachu arrived with a tray of drinks in his hands.
"Hey, thanks Pikachu." Ash forced a smile.
"Piss off." Pikachu said grumpily and sat himself down on the couch next to Ash. Ash just chuckled nervously and nodded. He REALLY wanted to see that conference…
"Oookay, then. Anyway May, what've you been up to?"
"Oh, busy." May shook her head. "Transfers always are. Plus, dad insists on setting up the gym before anything else so that the trainers may not miss their chance at the league."
"So, he'll live all the way back in Viridian city then?" Ash inquired. "That must be harsh. Living away from his family like that."
"Oh, not a problem, that." May chuckled and flashed a pokeball. "We've got Abra. He'll teleport him back to Pewter city every evening after gym hours. That's around when Abra usually wakes up anyway."
"Oh. Awesome." Ash gave her another fake smile. That Abra idea had arisen a suspicion in his mind…A suspicion of a dastardly scheme.
"So, have you decided what to do next?"
"Well," Ash chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. "Not really…I mean, Dawn did invite me to the Rayon region, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to get back in the game yet."
"The Rayon region? Go for it, Ash. They say that they have special type of Contest battles there. I was planning on going there myself, after I'm done with the Wallace Cup, I mean." May chuckled. "Which reminds me…Have you still got that other half of terracotta ribbon?"
"Sure do. It's upstairs in my…room…" Ash paled at what he'd just slipped. May grinned and flashed her half of the terracotta ribbon.
"Great. Let's go and see it then. It must be missing its other half." May chuckled and got up.
"Huh?WAIT-WAIT-WAIT, NO! Um…I'll get it. You just stay right here with Pikachu." Ash smiled nervously.
"Not gonna work, Ash." May smirked teasingly. "I've got less than fifteen minutes to head out anyway and I wanna look at that big shiny Unova League trophy Brock's been yapping to me about."
"Fifteen minutes? Er… But-Yeah! That's right! Your parents must be getting worried, you know? Don't you think you should go back by now?" Ash fake-smiled and started flailing his hands frantically.
"Geez, what's up with you today?" May sighed. "Well, I guess you're right though. It'll get dark soon and I don't wanna travel back to Pewter at night…"
"Yeah, that's right." Ash nodded in agreement. "Better be safe than sorry."
Pikachu's ears suddenly perked up, an idea crossing his mind.
Ash glanced at Pikachu with a look that said, 'Oh no...Oh no you freaking wouldn't…' Pikachu smiled slyly, jumping and putting his paw on one of May's Pokeballs. May gasped in surprise.
"Yes! That's right, I've got Abra! He has already been to Pewter city. He'll teleport me back in no time." May smiled at Pikachu. "Thanks, Pikachu. You're a real life saver!"
"Yeah…" I muttered, throwing Pikachu a deathly glare of my own. "A real life saver indeed…"
"So, onwards then!" May chirped and ran upstairs. Ash could hardly react as he followed and tried to stop her.
"May, NO! My room can't be seen! It's uh…It's not fit for female eyes! You won't like it in there…It's full of dirty things!" Ash yelled desperately.
May stopped right before she was about to open the door and glanced back at Ash slyly.
"Dirty things huh? Never knew you had it in you, Ash. Now you've got me curious."
"No…It's not like that. It's…" Ash just leaked Anime tears.
May proceeded to open the door, switching on the lights. For a moment, everything went completely still. May stared at Ash's breeding ground for Trubbishes.
"Ash, what's all this?" She said, a reddish aura surrounding her. Her back was turned to Ash, so he couldn't see her expression.
Instead, Ash dropped to his knees and slapped his palms together in front of May.
"PLEASE SPARE ME...! I'll make it good soon, promise!" He begged.
"What's that stain on the wall?"
"I BEG YOU! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!"
"And that filthy bed?"
"PLEASE SPARE MY SOUL!"
And that evening, in the humble town known as Pallet…A bloodcurdling scream of a single pained fifteen year old child could be heard from the Ketchum residence, reaching far into the forests surrounding Pallet town and resounding deep within its reaches, soothing even the fiercest of ghost pokemon…
Epilogue
"Well, that felt good." May chuckled, polishing her balled fists.
Ash lay on the floor, his broken body punched repeatedly and then smashed into his own acid stained wall. He crawled to his bed, creeping up one of its legs to support himself and stood up, one of his legs limp.
"Talk…Talk about yourself…Why'd you have to go and do that…?" Ash leaked Anime tears and demanded helplessly.
"Well, you shouldn't have lied to me." May pointed out. "You know how much I hate lies."
Ash perked up.
"Wait, so it wasn't because my room was a total swamp?"
May threw her Pokeball in the air, releasing a bright yellow pokemon with Brockly squinty eyes and scrawny limbs.
"Of course not, Ash." May smiled warmly while holding her Abra in one hand and Squirtle in the other. "After all…All you need is a clear heart, and you've got plenty of it."
"…What?" Ash muttered confusedly.
"See you soon, Ash." May smiled. "Abra, teleport to Pewter."
A multicolored light surrounded May. Just at the last second, May smiled and closed in on Ash and giving him a light kiss on the cheek.
"Very soon indeed." She said and grinned into the kiss.
And with that, she was gone. Ash just stood there with widened eyes, a burning sensation expanding from the spot where May had kissed him. He touched it absently, trying to figure out where he was.
"Yeah…" Pikachu giggled. "Nothing I could ever do would have come close to that."
Well, there you have it. My first ever piece of writing. XD It's not much, but it's all I can do at this point. It's a bit off from what I wanted it to be, but it turned out well. Might even do another chapter, you know, to go deeper into some of the details like the Rayon region and stuff. (Yush, I've already thought up what it is.) I like to be somewhat original, so I'll probably add some new concept in there. No OCs though. Well, I'm counting on you, folks. =)
Read and review as much as your heart desires. ^_^ Feels good to know that your over a week project went well received, you know? XD
Also, if there's a beta reader with decent grammar and expression, PLEASE O PLEASE inform me about him/her. You might have already guessed how bad my expression is reading all of the above^^. _
Stay Eternally Euphoric,
Love, Jay.
P.S. I talked to a friend on here just before I uploaded this and apparently, it's good to proofread and recheck your stories. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to do it for this one due to some word problems, but I'll be sure to do it for the next. And that's a promise you can count on. ^_^